Huffington Post: Where Are the 'Normal' Men?

ThePigman · 2012-04-04T20:34:43+00:00

Looks like a lot of weirdos dodged a bullet with this one.

lesean25 · 2012-04-04T22:17:40+00:00

by "where are the normal men", she really means "why arent men like the men movies that feminism convinced me men were supposed to be like?"

Kuonji · 2012-04-04T19:48:13+00:00

I would like someone who automatically walks on the outside of the sidewalk, in case a New York taxicab should fly over the curb and graze one of us (yes, someone who's willing to take a grazing for me). Or a man who puts his hand on the small of my back as he opens the door to a restaurant, and guides me in, like Cary Grant would do.

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Yes. It's the biggest fucking mystery of our time why guys aren't willing to jump all over that.

Guess what? Those days are over because the guys who would make it a habit of doing such things are generally the guys who get publicly vilified for being sexist.

Good luck!

karmasutur3 · 2012-04-04T21:38:58+00:00

Feminists asking, "where the normal men are" is similar to:

Stalin asking why there's not an opposition to his communist pary.
USAF commanders asking where the Iraqi air force is after the first wave of the 1991 invasion of Iraq.
President Truman wanting to know why Hiroshima won't return his phone calls.

I could go on all day. When one destroys a social construct that produced what one wanted in a man(and some things you didn't want) one must accept the consequences as their own.

The largest failure of the feminist movement, in my mind, is to the happiness of most women.

I realize that women have many more rights than us in modern western society. That's why I am here, lurking mostly nowadays. But this topic gives me an opportunity to state something.

I feel we should also realize, at least in my humble view, that feminism has also utterly destroyed the ability of most average women to find a man who isn't either broken or brainwashed.

Until feminists start realizing that good and evil exist in both men and women, and also that nothing in life (including social or cultural contracts or ways of life) comes without a cost, they will continue to fight a patriarchy that quite literally doesn't exist.

What are they fighting, if they are not fighting the patriarchy?

A famous quote from cartoonist Walt Kelly seems appropriate.

(Short form) "We have met the enemy, and it is us."

(Longer form) "Traces of nobility, gentleness and courage persist in all people, do what we will to stamp out the trend. So, too, do those characteristics which are ugly. It is just unfortunate that in the clumsy hands of a cartoonist all traits become ridiculous, leading to a certain amount of self-conscious expostulation and the desire to join battle.

There is no need to sally forth, for it remains true that those things which make us human are, curiously enough, always close at hand. Resolve then, that on this very ground, with small flags waving and tinny blast on tiny trumpets, we shall meet the enemy, and not only may he be ours, he may be us.

Forward!"

-Walt Kelly, 1953

Grapeban · 2012-04-04T20:45:25+00:00

I was sort of following this article thinking, "Well, maybe she has a point here?" until I reached the point where she called asexuals weirdos. Gee, thanks, lady, that's what I woke up wanting to be described as!

Anyway, yeah, that was a shitty article. Sure, she has the right to be picky about who she loves, that's sort of the point of love, it is picky. I fully respect her right to want to get "the perfect man".

However, for Heaven's sake lady, don't dismiss everyone who doesn't meet your standards as a "weirdo". Remember, somewhere out there is someone whos "perfect man" is, in fact, a man who wears a beanie throughout dinner.

MikeFromBC · 2012-04-04T19:48:36+00:00

Besides, I don't care about money -- that stuff comes and goes -- but I would like someone who automatically walks on the outside of the sidewalk, in case a New York taxicab should fly over the curb and graze one of us (yes, someone who's willing to take a grazing for me). Or a man who puts his hand on the small of my back as he opens the door to a restaurant, and guides me in, like Cary Grant would do. I know where the door is, but shouldn't it be him catching swine flu, not me? Is that so horribly twentieth century of me to want these basic things?

Remember guys, these are basic things, get your shit in gear. /s

EvilPundit · 2012-04-04T19:52:29+00:00

As usual with these sorts of writers, the comments are better than the article itself.

DarthOvious · 2012-04-05T02:58:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

frehop · 2012-04-04T21:14:15+00:00

I am not too picky. I don't expect much. Only someone who will DIE for me. Is that so much to ask for?

splodgenessabounds · 2012-04-04T23:21:27+00:00

This article is the same as every "where are all the nice guys?" and "where are all the good men?" fluff pieces. I swear there's a factory somewhere that churns them out, they infest MSM outlets everywhere in the English speaking world (and for all I know the French, German, Spanish and Slavic speaking ones too). The formula is identical - whinge about recent dating history, then suggest you're not being unreasonable, complain there aren't any men who meet your completely sane and reasonable standards, then by default classify every other male out there as 'weird", "creepy", "sad" or wracked by an Oedipal complex.

No solutions or serious discussion - it's the written equivalent of throwing a can of dog food into a pool full of sharks.

Then when you go to the section of the media outlet where this trite garbage is placed, you find this article (or one very like it) sandwiched between one article that all but says outright that all men are rapists and another that crows how much better women are at (insert field here) than men. Often there's a token male "contributor" (balance y'know) whose entire output is either wet hand-wringing about how poor males are at doing domestic chores or exhorting all men to protest against male-on-female rape or bleating that it's time men "manned up" (whatever the fuck that means).

Seen one of these articles, seen 'em all.

CheapCheepChirp · 2012-04-04T21:55:07+00:00

I like it, and I want it. And I don't want to settle for anything less. Why should I, or should any woman, for that matter?

Entitlement. She deserves the best, even if she's not worth the best.

SpeakToTheSky · 2012-04-04T19:40:13+00:00

Maybe they have all wised up and gone MGTOW or gay?

Demonspawn · 2012-04-04T20:03:04+00:00

This comment nailed it:

If you are like most women somewhere in your past is a nice, clean-cut, intelligent, someone who you blew-off for a momentary fling with a bad boy like me. Now that you’re a little older and can hear that clock ticking, you know the biological one; now you suddenly yearn for the perfect combination of nice guy and scoundrel to settle down with?

By the time you got here most of the just nice guys were taken and all the great combinations are gone. So you can either settle for a nice guy if you can find one that will have you with a few miles and a ding or two, or you can get a cat and try writing for a living…

shoegazer666 · 2012-04-04T21:15:27+00:00

Ugh, it's a HuffPo article. We really should just ignore this tabloid garbage and focus on issues that actually matter.

ryuh90 · 2012-04-04T22:25:02+00:00

So let's see here,

First it was "Where are all the good men"?

Then it was, "Men should grow up"

Now it's "Where are the Normal men"? I'm beinning to see a pattern here

thedevguy · 2012-04-04T22:50:57+00:00

Two things:

It's called selection bias. The population of people who are dating obviously contains more people who aren't relationship material, because the people who are relationship material tend to enter into and stay in relationships. Thus, if you're judging "men" based on the men you go on dates with, you have a biased sample.

We men do this too. When we're dating, it seems like many of the women we meet are odd. It would be fallacious of us to jump to the conclusion that most women are that way. Don't fall for selection bias.

For what it's worth, in certain older civilized cultures, a person's family would screen potential mates for you. You'd date fewer people but they'd be of higher quality. I'm sure there's a modern equivalent. But if you're just dating people you meet in bars then yeah, enjoy the crazy parade.

Don't make the mistake of answering an article like this with references to feminism - unless you can point to something specific that this author said. In other words, don't take all the ridiculous things you hear people say and glom them together in your head to produce a straw-woman that you then assume this author to be. For example, the author says:

I would like someone who automatically walks on the outside of the sidewalk, in case a New York taxicab should fly over the curb and graze one of us (yes, someone who's willing to take a grazing for me).

Resist the temptation to respond to this by pointing out that feminists tell us men and women are in all ways equal, and therefore that men are not disposable. Don't say that unless you can point to something this specific author has said along those lines. If this author has said those things, then throw them back in her face. But maybe she hasn't. Maybe she's always been perfectly consistent.

AloysiusC · 2012-04-04T22:35:05+00:00

I wonder if any of the columnists writing this never ending deluge of "where are all the good men??" articles ever stop to wonder if maybe the reason normal/decent/good men seem to be avoiding them like the plague is that they don't want their private matters discussed all over the newspaper?

PellagiusTheSane · 2012-04-04T23:34:50+00:00

Why do a lot of women disqualify a man on the relationship with his mother? Everybody's mom is not a saint. All guys aren't going to think his mother is the greatest woman on the planet.

AloysiusC · 2012-04-04T23:03:31+00:00

What a truly strange article. Why would anyone chose to write it, let alone carry it?

AloysiusC · 2012-04-05T00:40:01+00:00

"shouldn't it be him catching swine flu, not me?"

I realize you just wrote this for ratings and nothing else. It sells to bash men and so you jump on the bandwagon. It's sad that women get off on dissing men so much and men mostly just accept it. Certainly that won't help the dating scene for either gender.

But if you are indeed in the situation you describe, then your problem is that you demand things you're not willing to give, and that is not how to build a relationship beyond a few nights. An adult knows this and most adults want to be with other adults - hence you're stuck with dropouts.

The kind of people you attract says more about you than it does about men.

ThePigman · 2012-04-05T04:27:49+00:00

The whole article is a list of anti-male attitudes, but she writes it in a quasi-humorous way that will allow her to say she was only kidding. This is an excuse which works only when men are the target. She would never write a similar article about gays or blacks as in those cases even genuinely humorous disparaging is strictly verboten - and that of course, tell us that deep down everyone knows that such articles are a lot more than "just a joke."

2012-04-05T07:25:39+00:00

What's normal? Sounds like this woman wants Mad Men on demand.

Let's switch the genders:

"I would like a woman who automatically defers to me in conversations in case we start talking about subjects out of her depth (yes, someone who's willing to act like a good woman ought). Or a woman who lets me order for her at restaurants because she simply can't ever make up her pretty little mind what she wants, like Lucille Ball. I may not know exactly what she wants, but clearly, only one of us is in control of this date, am I right? Is it so horribly twentieth century of me to want these things?"

Because stereotypes aren't very nice when they cut both ways, are they, Natasha? You wanted 20th century gentlemanliness? Fine--do your part and act like a lady.

Whisper · 2012-04-05T07:29:45+00:00

Besides, I don't care about money -- that stuff comes and goes -- but I would like someone who automatically walks on the outside of the sidewalk, in case a New York taxicab should fly over the curb and graze one of us (yes, someone who's willing to take a grazing for me). Or a man who puts his hand on the small of my back as he opens the door to a restaurant, and guides me in, like Cary Grant would do. I know where the door is, but shouldn't it be him catching swine flu, not me? Is that so horribly twentieth century of me to want these basic things?

....

Where are all the normal men?

Far, far, away from you.

BinaryShadow · 2012-04-05T07:47:14+00:00

My favorite part was where she said that she's not being picky (even though she is, but there's nothing wrong with that IMO) then acts all pissy about a guy who asked if "she was clean."

DarthOvious · 2012-04-05T13:52:55+00:00

Where are all the normal men?

They are being smart enough to stay the hell away from you.

enkidusfriend · 2012-04-04T21:46:15+00:00

Another excellent creative writing exercise. Online journalism is a joke.

InfallibleBiship · 2012-04-04T22:12:31+00:00

Wow, she sounds rather quick to judgment, and spark-seeking is a poor way to find a mate.

Decumanus · 2012-04-04T23:52:07+00:00

I liked the part when she went into detail about how much she has to give to the right "normal" man and to the relationship. /s

C0CKPUNCHER · 2012-04-05T02:53:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Feckless · 2012-04-05T07:25:06+00:00

I'll admit -- there were a few okay dates, ones that had me feeling relieved that not everyone has lost the plot, but I felt very meh about them. Meh just doesn't cut it. Once you've experienced the evasive spark, it's hard to shack up with someone you feel humdrum about. I guess a meh guy to me is akin to Mr. Good Enough. But I don't want to feel meh about my lifetime partner. Does anyone?

She has too high standards. She is talking about dating and thinking about lifetime partners after a few dates? I would argue it takes some time to fall in love / know if the one you are dating is lifetime partner material.

I like it, and I want it. And I don't want to settle for anything less. Why should I, or should any woman, for that matter?

Nobody is entitled to a relationship. Also she sounds like a keeper. /s

Gambolina · 2012-04-05T09:16:11+00:00

Reminded me of this: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html

2012-04-05T10:01:43+00:00

If this shallow, insufferable, over-the-hill piece of entitled shit even looked in my direction, I'd do a 180 and head for anywhere she's not so fast, it would look like I was wearing rocket powered roller skates.

ANewAccountCreated · 2012-04-05T12:34:25+00:00

We're married, and we chose normal women rather than headcases.

zaferk · 2012-04-05T04:56:54+00:00

Once you've experienced the evasive spark, it's hard to shack up with someone you feel humdrum about.

Ladies, this is why you dont be a slut. The spark is gone, and this women is clearly suffering for it.

TheRealPariah · 2012-04-05T04:56:44+00:00

Not interested in you probably, although I am taking applications. You're not very desirable and there are plenty of younger, hotter women I would prefer. Your desirability is falling year by year, while mine is rising year by year. Why would I bother buying a decreasing asset that costs me more year by year? There you have it: mystery solved.

I mean honestly, New York is full of a lot more desirable women; why would I waste my time on this loser?

When I was little, I was repeatedly told that I "would marry a prince."

Bingo. You overvalue yourself a bit.

SpeakToTheSky · 2012-04-04T19:54:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

c0ld-- · 2012-04-04T22:35:41+00:00

I know where the door is, but shouldn't it be him catching swine flu, not me?

NotSureIfJoking.jpg

Now I know she just wants to find a good guy, but come on, it's New York. Big cities are hard to find quality people who don't have a lot of baggage.

Title	Huffington Post: Where Are the 'Normal' Men?
Author	MikeFromBC
Upvotes	36
Comments	126
Date	April 4, 2012 7:36 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/rtdow/huffington_post_where_are_the_normal_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/huffington-post-where-are-the-normal-men.1024679 https://theredarchive.com/post/1024679

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