Best way to approach

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-03-30T17:24:41+00:00

I think what you’ve written is fine, but there’s no approach that would make me open to a cold approach from a stranger.

jazzmaster1992 · 2025-03-30T17:29:29+00:00

I can't help but think that approaching is something most people don't do, regardless of gender, and it's not going to have a high success rate for just about anyone. The social "game" where you meet someone through friend groups or shares activities is probably best for most people, but it takes longer and can't be forced as easily as talking to the cute girl on the street.

MongoBobalossus · 2025-03-30T17:10:26+00:00

The general rule is two compliments above the neck before you compliment anything below it.

Just treat the interaction for what it is, a friendly conversation. Have fun and be relaxed about it.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-03-30T17:20:00+00:00

Don’t hesitate. If you’re hesitating, don’t approach.
Open with a compliment, not a question. “Hey I noticed you over there and I just wanted to say I love your smile” no need to re-invent the wheel with clever openers.
Unless she rejects you, follow up with an accusation, not a question. Instead of where are you from, try “I bet you’re from…”
Her response will tell you everything you need to know. If she smiles, laughs, makes conversation, you’re in. If her response involves the word “actually”, you’re done. Ex: “I was actually just meeting some friends here, they should be here any minute now”
If she’s not interested, respond with “oh cool, I’m actually about to [do x thing] as well, it was nice meeting you.” Smile, exit with a smile.

Even as a guy who’s approached probably over a thousand times, most were under a minute.

If you keep trying to say the right thing and get attraction and don’t take the hint, you’re the kind of guy Meghan Trainor is singing to in her song “no”. If you take the hint and exit gracefully, she’ll be flattered you gave her the compliment even if you’re not attractive and she’s a 10.

SquirmingAddict · 2025-03-30T17:02:54+00:00

Confidently, whilst being socially adept and attractive.

If you're not all three of these things, DO NOT approach.

Life isn't fair. Not everyone gets a chance to do everything.

No book is going to help you if you can't get all three of the only important factors down.

Honestly, if you have to read a book about how to interact with women, I'd say that you likely should stay away from women.

It's not to say you have to die alone, there's other ways to get girlfriends, but do not approach unless you're better than 90% of men. Minimum.

WanabeInflatable · 2025-03-30T17:50:45+00:00

Maintain plausible deniability.

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-03-31T03:10:35+00:00

Learn to have casual interactions without getting a gf/bf as a goal. Spending pleasant time should be the goal.

You have to deal with your social anxiety before approaching with romantic interest. A bit of anxiety is normal, but not the degree of being terryfied.

bradenb941 · 2025-03-31T04:46:23+00:00

I think this is good advice because it actually addresses the real concern of approaching. Most advice with approaches tells men how to deal with the nearly inevitable rejection, instead of teaching them how to be rejected less.

The whole point is that we want the rejection to not feel like it's inevitable. Why get better at dealing with a problem when you could just put yourself in a position to not have the problem in the first place?

Pepes_parrillaXXX69 · 2025-03-30T18:19:37+00:00

It's simple really, if you're attractive no matter what you do it'll be confident. If you're unattractive no matter what you do it'll be creepy

anonymousppd123123 · 2025-03-30T18:11:24+00:00

im not sure why i got this in my yt feed last week when i had insomnia since i dont watch any self help type channels etc but it summarizes what works best and why pretty well https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ntsPz2nOC9s

tldw be observant and be the guy that says what everyone else is thinking. the rest is just reading vibes and escalating

this is also why every woman has gay best friends, they notice her new bag/nail job

TheRedPillRipper · 2025-03-30T21:47:12+00:00

social anxiety

The best way is to first address the social anxiety. Then be direct. It’s the most efficient way to a desired outcome. It’s that simple.

Kaisern · 2025-03-30T23:27:17+00:00

As you walk up and make eye contact the first time you give her a nod and a smile and a ”Hi”. Her heart will race… but then you don’t face her and you don’t keep talking, so she’ll sigh with relief. Stand next to her facing the same or opposite direction as her, e.g. get next to her at the bar but face the bar, or the dance floor, but not her. That way you’re barely speaking to her, you’re just speaking your mind, like the two of you are observing the world together, like you’re pals, a bit above it all. When you talk you’re kind of leaning over like you’re two teens in assembly who aren’t supposed to be talking. When you look at her you barely even turn your head, let alone your body

So you’ve said hi, she said hi. Then after a beat or two you comment on something in your surroundings ”You notice how they don’t play elevator music anymore?” ”You think this bar sells more beer or more wine in a night?” ”Do you think people steal a lot from the self-checkout” A simple question that she could answer with one word, or hopefully expand on. After she answers you make it into some comedic small talk, maybe disagreeing with her, halfway through like a complete afterthought you say ”oh, I’m X by the way” and shake her hand, tell her she has a nice name, continue chatting, follow up questions.

After about a minute of talking, if she’s not interested she will have said ”well, nice to meet you!” and walked away. If you stay put, and she also stays put then she’s into you. So you say ”I guess this is a kind of a crazy way to meet someone, but if you’d like to give me your number we can see each other again some time”. Then even after you get the number you don’t have to move, just stay put and if she stays put she’s into you. You only need to exit if you feel like the conversation is faltering and if that happens then exit fast. When the conversation is over ask her if she prefers texts or calls, give her an approximate timeline ”I should be free later in the week” and give her a friendly hug and cheek kiss

Very low risk ”opt in” way to approach women

Puzzleheaded_ghost · 2025-04-05T22:11:36+00:00

The article is a good example of small talk and low investment.

All conversations begin with the first word. Everyone evaluates every word; some get used to you and can predict you. That doesn't require much attention.

Higher investment words require much scrutiny and generally will not be responded to as openly., Imagine how nervous you would be fidgeting - she sees you like that and now has stress because she doesn't want to hurt you, or wants to hurt you but doesn't want to be seen enjoying it;..

A smirk. Never a hello. Notice something they are struggling with and ask. My friend was amazed at how I struck up a conversation with a 10/10. He thought I was a genius. She was trying to understand the muscles on a poster, so I started a conversation. It wasn't an approach. It was a fun conversation. She was out of my league, too hot, so I just moved on. I understand she looked surprised as I walked away.

There are a million ways to connect at low risk. 100 low risk, you get a perfect prediction of a higher risk. There is something to be said about timing and progressing. Frankly I don't give a fuck. If it feels right, I follow my inner caveman.

I love those first steps. Life is short. You have to get hit on the head a few times. Think of it as a contact sport where she gets to wear a helmet and you dont.

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Handsome_Goose · 2025-03-31T00:32:24+00:00

I don't think these advices are any good tbh. None of them seem to warrant extended interaction, just a minute action or a one-word response.

Next_Measurement_824 · 2025-04-09T17:47:05+00:00

A woman wont even acknowledge a man unless he's over several inch's taller than her and is the most neurotypical person in the room.

wtknight · 2025-03-30T20:50:19+00:00

The best way for those with social anxiety to approach is to approach online and not in real life.

Odd_Book_9024 · 2025-03-30T22:04:30+00:00

Honestly just go say ask for directions or the time as a complete beginner until you get over whatever anxiety you have just opening cause women will sense that.

Title	Best way to approach
Author	Pitiful_Progress_699
Upvotes	4
Comments	69
Date	March 30, 2025 4:54 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jngu00/best_way_to_approach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/best-way-to-approach.1548121 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548121

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