CMV: Men also practice AFBB

[deleted] · 2016-09-20T16:09:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

EliteSpartanRanger · 2016-09-20T16:20:28+00:00

I don't understand why people use a derogatory term like AFBB, which has negative connotations, for something that is perfectly normal for both genders.

It's not as if anyone is saying "I'm going to go around having casual sex with all the alphas and then I'm going to settle for a beta." It's just that people have different priorities for casual sex and for committed relationships.

When looking for casual sex, they (both men and women) don't want someone who is good commitment material. They don't want commitment. They want someone who is good looking, fun to be around, adventurous, charming, good in bed, etc. Of course they are going to approach others who want casual sex, because that's what they are looking for. They don't need to worry about if their casual partner has a job because they won't be living with them or taking care of them. They don't need to worry about whether their casual partner is a family person, because they don't want to start a family.

When looking for a committed relationship, of course being good looking, fun, adventurous, good in bed and charming matters, but they are now not the only criteria. They will try to find someone who has a stable career and don't need to be financially taken care of because it's tiring taking care of an adult who doesn't work. They will try to find someone who has similar family goals. They will try to find someone who is good at commitment. It's hard to find someone with all those traits, so they might sacrifice some of the traits and overlook physical attractiveness for someone who might not be as physically attractive and has better traits for marriage.

People want to have fun in their college years and mid twenties, and then they want to get married and settle down later. It's normal.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-09-20T18:37:42+00:00

The male cognate of AFBB is Madonna/whore. Men do not marry women wealthy women to support them in any appreciable number or as the base male mating strategy, it is not a primary strategy and few ales are attractive enough to carry it off. The premise of this is off. Men often marry women of the same CLASS which entails them having careers and money.

truthuncensored · 2016-09-20T16:16:44+00:00

Just wanted to point this out.. this is an implicit admission that women practice AF/BB.

darkmoon09 · 2016-09-20T17:05:43+00:00

No. You cannot compare the two. Most men can't just hop on a pussy-carousel at will, most women though can easily hop on a cock-carousel.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/3x9els/just_to_clarify_the_cockcarousel_is_not_the_same/

Five_Decades · 2016-09-20T22:52:04+00:00

A better term for AF/BB is short term and long term mating strategy. What people of both genders look for in short term vs long term mating strategy has been researched.

For short term, people just want good genes and sexual access (both genders). The more healthy and attractive you are, the more people want to fuck you.

For long term, people are looking for a quality parent, partner and/or guardian. Women look for men with fidelity, resources, security. Men look for women who have emotional stability, good with kids, patient, etc. Both genders look for someone kind who they share interests with for long term mating because both are looking for someone who'd make a good parent.

So yeah, in that regard both genders do it. But it is still a little different. I think when it comes to BB (long term mating strategy), women look more for financial security while men look more for emotional stability and agreeableness in a partner.

bgrycloud · 2016-09-20T18:50:54+00:00

I don't really think AFBB is really a thing. I think people simply value different traits at 20 and at 30, and I think it is true for both men and women.

I was recently talking to a man who is in his early 20's and broke up with his high school sweetheart of 7 years - a woman he claims was attractive and a great girlfriend, and that they had no issues. Why? He wanted to see what else was out there before settling down. Sounds like the same explanation women give for not settling down in their early 20's.

Our culture is just not fit for long-term commitment at a young age. It's a bad idea but conventionally speaking if you ask anyone, and statistically speaking (young marriages have almost double the rate of divorce). As a result, men and women pass their time by having fun instead, and set their partner's standards during that period around being fun instead of being a great partner.

Doesn't mean they don't find their later partners attractive, but when you are interested in fun, the people who don't maximize fun are ruled out.

Heathcliff-- · 2016-09-20T16:29:52+00:00

Sure, the dude spends his 20s screwing sluts, but decides to settle down with an educated girl with a low N-count and is sane, down to earth and has a nurturing, motherly attitude that would make a good parent for their kids and is supportive to a good family life. What's wrong with that?

I'm going to challenge your view by accepting that men do present this dynamic, and instead tackle the underlying question you're positing on "why is the AF/BB so bad?? Men do it to!!"

We don't blame women for participating in the AF/BB dynamic, that's just their nature and part of their sexual strategy, just like it can be argued that partying with sluts in our wild years and settling down with a "good girl" is part of ours.

What irks some of us though is when girls lie about their previous sex partners to their BB in order to trick him into thinking she is a good girl and will be good wife material. Women with promiscuous pasts often aren't wife material or good mothers, and high n-counts are often a huge red-flag, even if she considers herself "born again" and reformed.

We don't want the mothers of our children to have been sluts in their college years and 20s, let's be honest, who does? If you find out your fiance used to have a gambling problem and paid for hookers for years of his life because he was too incel to attract women.... Wouldn't that make you feel uneasy about his character and the prospect of marrying him? Even if he insists that's not who he is anymore? What if he hid it from you until after you'd got married because he knew you'd have second thoughts about marrying him if you knew beforehand... wouldn't you be justified in being angry in that case?

That's how we feel about women who fuck around and hide it from their husbands in order to secure a marriage. You're free to fuck whoever and how many you want in your college days, we can't control that and don't have the right to try, take all the dick you desire, it's your body. But for the majority of men your previous sex life is an important factor in assessing your relationship value (as much as feminists try to shame us into thinking it shouldn't be), and hiding it from us dishonest... definitely the kind of dishonesty you shouldn't be displaying towards your future life-partner, and a pretty big deal breaker for a lot of guys. In fact most women know this at a base level, hence why they decide to hide their past sex lives from their future husbands in the first place!

Your previous partners and the number of them are a big deal for the guy who is thinking about marrying you, whether you think it should be or not, and lying to your future husband about these things is a pretty big red-flag, and a dealbreaker for a lot of guys.

Even worse are the women who practice AF/BB in a much more insidious way; such as cheating on their BB husbands with AF because they're not attracted to and/or sexually satisfied by their BB; or even worse, retroactively cuckolding their BB by having kids with an AF and placing the burden of care and financial support on their richer, more dad-like, but ultimately beta loser. It's genetic suicide to take care of another mans kids! It's not a good deal at all, it's not his job to make up for her mistakes!

Xander_DB · 2016-09-20T16:26:08+00:00

Not comparable. Women want to marry the bad boys, meaning this is who they prefer. They're only forced to marry betas when they realize the bad boys won't marry. Men want to marry the good girls. We have no desire to make a slut a wife. It's silly and stupid. Also, if a man comes across a good girl, he's more likely to settle down with her. If a woman comes across a good guy, who is likely to be beta, she'll be disgusted, put him on the backburner and maybe, maybe give him a shot 5 years later if she's desperate.

Archwinger · 2016-09-20T18:54:19+00:00

Almost. Men practice BFAB.

A slutty woman who gives away sex easily and without strings is the equivalent of a man who gives away time, attention, money, love, and commitment easily. A slut is a "beta" woman. You fuck her and a few dozen women like her, but don't marry, cohabitate, or seriously date them. (Similar to women who use "beta" men for various purposes, but rarely or never fuck them.)

Then, later in life, you settle down for a woman who actually has some relationship value. Somebody you're willing to commit to (as contrasted to a "beta" husband that a wife merely tolerates, doesn't like fucking, and just likes the paychecks). Some men will cheat on their wives with slutty women. Some won't.

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InformalCriticism · 2016-09-20T21:18:45+00:00

Some men in their teens and early 20s try to date the "hottest" and most "popular" women ~~to increase their social value~~.

They also spin plates or ride the sex carousel.

As they get older and hit the wall

Wait, how old and what wall?

they start to settle down and try to marry a beta woman who has more financial resources or who is interested in for example having a kid

This runs counter to the latest data on marriage and sexual attraction experiences across the board. I've seen women try to tell me they have money, but that has never attracted me to them the same way women are attracted to it; what the hell am I going to do with some woman's money? Spend it? On what? I spend my money on women.

these men are known as fuccbois and sometimes they try to steal money from beta females while having sex with alpha females on the side

Oh, I get it. You're a troll. You're literally just trying to reverse gender TRP philosophy. Continue...

Moreover, both men and women practice peacocking to raise their SMV if they're otherwise unattractive

I think it's called preening, but tomato-tomato.

Historically women went to these finishing schools and stuff and learned skills like sewing and art similar to men today learning to rap, play football and play electric guitar.

What?

Has anyone else here experienced this?

Literallyb no one not in on the joke.

sunkindonut149 · 2016-09-20T15:48:32+00:00

Why do you think that men and women are the same? A woman who uses AF/BB is what we could call a slut, no? Do you think that a promiscuous man is equivalent to a slut? He's not. He's high in value because women want to give him their value (sex), the promiscuous woman is low in value because men do not want to give her their value (commitment).

A woman who fucks the hot guys in her youth and settles for stability is any given woman who takes the easy (dualistic) route to getting hot sex and stability. She can't get the commitment from the hot guys, so she fucks them and get's the commitment from an easy guy.

There is no route like this for men. I can't just say fuck it, I'll bang these hot girls until I start aging then I'll look for stability That's a feminine sexual strategy. The literal equivalent to AF/BB for me is to give hot girls all my time for free and then settle down with and get sex from an ugly girl. Casual dating for men (plate spinning) is not equivalent because if we can get the hot girls in our 20's, we can get them and even marry one whenever we feel like it.

SkinnySweaty · 2016-09-20T17:16:28+00:00

You have to remember that TRP is drawn from a niche of males, the unsuccessful with women. The lowest in the SMP.

Therefore all the replies you get from them in this thread will be focused on "men can't get laid like women can" because THEY are not the men who can get laid easily, and they refuse to get out of their solipsism.

The reality is a lot like you have explained. For normal men and above (NOT red pill guys), life is more like this. There are lots of women in our lives because we date and get laid like normal people.

maxbrooksmacbook · 2016-09-20T17:19:22+00:00

You're probably right. I didn't pay for anything in my 20s

monkeysinmypocket · 2016-09-20T17:59:04+00:00

Like anything on TRP if there is a grain of truth in it (I.e., the one about women having the minds of children is obviously bollocks) it will likely be something that both genders do. I mean logically-speaking a woman cannot ride the mythical "cock carousel" if there are no cocks to ride... Those cocks belong to men who are doing the exact same thing...

(They talk about cock a lot more than women do though.)

Reason-and-rhyme · 2016-09-20T20:53:58+00:00

when did people actually start spelling it "fuccboi"?

questioningwoman · 2016-09-20T23:11:31+00:00

They do sometimes.... except it's not a conscious strategy but something that hits them later. They wanna party up and get with the young women in the clubs and keep thinking it's gonna last forever. Then they turn 45 and can't get the same women because they've wrecked themselves from all the partying and alcohol... then they have to find someone they would have never looked at before..

gopher_glitz · 2016-09-22T00:51:12+00:00

Men are only and can only be as promiscuous as women allow them to be.

Yes, a man will plate spin but only if women allow themselves to be plated.

I only speak for myself but I'd much rather have a healthy, functional exclusive relationship with a loyal woman that I can love and provide for than be out at the clubs hooking up with randoms.

HOWEVER, if women are out in the clubs banging random dudes without any kind of investment then I'm not just going to sit at home as other men are taking full advantage of the free give away only to invest in them after they've been through loads of guys.

If I'm forced to settle down with a women who has been around the block you best believe I'm going to try and get around the block too, even if I wish it wasn't like that.

If women only had sex with a guy who is already at least somewhat invested it is going to be harder for him to just next her because she has shown him that her value to him goes beyond a ONS etc.

sunkindonut149 · 2016-09-20T16:52:30+00:00

No, men don't practice AFBB.

Some men in their teens and early 20s try to date the "hottest" and most "popular" women to increase their social value. They also spin plates or ride the sex carousel.

That doesn't mean they're "practicing AFBB". It's not widespread because only a few men can do this (not even "some" as you claim). The difference is that MOST women CAN fuck the hottest and most popular men. That's the first place where your analogy fails.

Most men WANT TO date the hottest and most popular women. Most men don't even try, because they know they have no chance at all, and will fail. The ones who do try -- most of them get nuke rejected and blown out of the water. In public.

As they get older and hit the wall, they start to settle down and try to marry a beta woman who has more financial resources or who is interested in for example having a kid. A lot of times, these men are known as fuccbois and sometimes they try to steal money from beta females while having sex with alpha females on the side.

This is bullshit fantasy. It's ridiculous. You're talking here about boytoy men, most of whom become kitchen bitches and end up divorced. Only a very, very few men do anything like this. this is not the experience of most men.

Title	CMV: Men also practice AFBB
Author	sunkindonut149
Upvotes	9
Comments	293
Date	September 20, 2016 3:19 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/53nuro/cmv_men_also_practice_afbb/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-men-also-practice-afbb.272858 https://theredarchive.com/post/272858

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