I've been debating with my boyfriend for a bit about what toxic masculinity even is, and I actually came to the conclusion that

1) Most toxic 'masculine' behaviors are actually issues of class and not being a man. Getting into literal fights for the sake of your pride is very much a class thing, and from my time at /r/publicfreakouts, I can conclude women fight for their pride in similar quantities.

2) Toxic masculinity is any behaviors that are ultimately self-destructive to a man's goals or well being. Or just plain destructive. And it all come down to men self inflicting suffering just to maintain their status in whatever situation is at hand. And the problem is status is something that society controls, not the individual. So it's victim blaming to say men are at fault. Damned if they do something destructive to preserve their status, and damned if they don't do that thing and risk shame, scrutiny, and disrespect.

So at this point, pointing out behaviors that men do that are destructive to themselves or other men or women is moot, because for that man doing that behavior is actually a net positive because it helps to gain or maintain status or respect, which in turn allows him to achieve his goals.

I've done a real 180 here guys. Now the women here say they won't shame a dude for XYZ, but I can't help but think the situation hasn't presented itself to them, and their response is just a form of virtue signalling. You can correct me if I'm wrong.