Dating is really not that hard - a perspective from Europe

KayRay1994 · 2023-03-05T20:33:47+00:00

Dating is arguably easier in Europe than it is in the US/Canada - and the issues relating to why it’s harder in the latter often aren’t related to the usual stuff guys on here in particular like to bring up - the US/Canada are far more capitalistic (and that bleeds into having a capitalist culture), they’re far more car centric, work culture is comparatively far more ridged, people are more isolated in comparison and dating apps have a larger hold

bison5595 · 2023-03-05T19:09:09+00:00

Dating is hard if you aren’t taught the right things about attracting and being in a relationship with whatever sex you’re into. Too many people were told the wrong things and are trying go about dating in the wrong framework. I always use me as an example. My dating life is harder because I’m overweight. It would be easier if I lost weight, but I was taught looks didn’t matter to women. That was wrong, now I’m losing weight. I’m using the correct framework now

AngrySilva · 2023-03-05T19:47:21+00:00

I'm from Eastern Europe aswell, and my experience had been a complete opposite of yours.

Play_Muted · 2023-03-05T19:47:09+00:00

you went to college before dating apps and social media. doesnt count.

Capeninja · 2023-03-05T23:28:39+00:00

The US isn't Eastern Europe. There's a reason why even a guy as "successful" as Tate left the US for Romania.

SillyMushroomTip · 2023-03-05T21:30:26+00:00

Your mid 30s. I'm 30. I agree dating "isnt that hard" mostly because there is zero novelty anymore at our age. How many times do you see the same trick until its not exciting anymore.

But these young boys (16-26) are definitely having a significantly harder time

AndrewPotato34 · 2023-03-06T17:57:49+00:00

Hello, i;m from the same country as OP and i can safely say that all he said in his post is total bullshit. Women in romania are pretty much like western USA women almost kin. Dating is hard here too for ugly poor men.

wtknight · 2023-03-05T18:47:31+00:00

I struggled for a while but eventually found a girlfriend in my early 20s. I think that this is a common experience in that, many guys struggle, but eventually succeed. The problem is, a lot of people are not very patient and thus tend to complain and lash out online.

So, to challenge your view, I don't think that it's always hard for men, but for a while it can be very hard until men learn what it takes to attract a woman, and then apply themselves to improving themselves to make themselves attractive and actually putting in the work to do it. So to say that it is "not hard" for some men is not accurate, in my view. I do not think that it is doom and gloom for men out there if they are not lazy and if they keep a positive attitude, though.

Opening_Pattern_301 · 2023-03-05T18:50:50+00:00

Am I wrong, or am I right? Is dating in the United States so tough?

your question answers itself, everything that you see here comes from a western perspective, for example im from a third wolrd country myself and i moved to the western world relatively not long ago, i wouldnt say dating is what is different, but the attitudes of the people are, but in short, yes, it is different, your perspective doesnt means much no offense......actually, this could be a really useful post that enriches everybodies perspectives this makes me wonder why dating is so different there, i have a bunch of questions for you, how advanced is romania when it comes to womens rights?, can women there get a career and have the same equal oportunities as men? are women economically dependent on men there? is casual sex or hookup culture common there? or people prefer the get to know each other approach?

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-03-05T20:04:41+00:00

Dating is hard, but not as hard as people here say

The pivotal factor to whether dating is or isn’t hard, is mindset. That said TRP is a minority. So ‘people here’ will give a skewed perspective. For the majority, dating isn’t a big issue.

Godspeed and good luck!

Historical-System972 · 2023-03-06T03:44:17+00:00

Romania. Why are you avoiding saying the country's name?

TheRedditor28 · 2023-03-05T20:36:42+00:00

I am a male in my mid-30s

This is why dating was not hard for you. You dated before social media increased women's standarts.

NockerJoe · 2023-03-05T21:11:12+00:00

I haven't dated an eastern European woman but my impression of them socially is they're often a lot more open and less guarded than the kind of women a lot of people here deal with. They're easier to have casual conversations with, less guarded, and often more willing to just kind of enjoy whatever they're doing without being inside their own heads.

A lot of the issue comes down to the fact that human relationships require both humans being willing to actually engage. American culture puts up a lot of artificial barriers to this and we have seen the end results.

BigZaddyZ3 · 2023-03-05T18:55:30+00:00

There’s no one size fits all hat when it comes to difficulty in terms of dating. Whether or not it’s easy or difficult will depend entirely on the individual in question and what they have to offer romantically/sexually. (Or lack thereof of course…)

Dumboddball · 2023-03-05T21:54:55+00:00

I would like to say that the exceptions - men who did not manage to get laid - are probably not seen by you as we tend to be very isolated/asocial.

Reasonable-Software2 · 2023-03-06T00:25:03+00:00

When did you attend college? Like 10 years ago??

Constant_Ad6906 · 2023-03-06T00:43:54+00:00

It must be different in Eastern European countries because I get no matches on tinder and past two years I asked out about 10 women and got no where.

AloneOnTheStrange · 2023-03-06T03:14:22+00:00

First of all, what is the actual culture around dating where you are? Especially in relation to red pill traits?

Is it capitalistic, focused on money, titles, accomplishments, and how you spend them?

How addicted are people to social media, and dating apps?

How prevalent is misandry and misogyny? Especially misandry, as it relates to the question.

How open are people to socialising, especially with strangers? Can you go into a bar, and just strike up a conversation with a group of strangers?

How is work life balance? Do people have time to socialise, do the things they enjoy, work on themselves?

All of these things, and no doubt more that I haven't mentioned, makes a huge difference in how hard dating and socialising is in your culture. In particularly the last two: How open everyone is to socialising, and how much free time they have for it.

Regardless, when you say dating isn't that hard for everyone, are you sure you're actually considering everyone? It's easy to ignore a quiet, awkward, alone guy. You build your social life around equally social people, with similar traits. You don't consider others struggles, especially if they keep those struggles private.

A lot of these "dating's not that hard" claims, sound like rich kids acting surprised that most people don't get horses for their birthdays.

indiangenetictrash · 2023-03-06T06:03:21+00:00

Confirmation bias

DoinIt989 · 2023-03-06T12:40:06+00:00

Your country is socially 20-30 years behind the US, and much less urban than the US. 20 or 30 years ago, dating wasn't that hard in small/medium sized cities of America either. But you will catch up - you're part of the West now, enjoy ;)

CLyD3_H3ffalump · 2023-03-06T20:03:38+00:00

Yeah you're country is highly responsible for your take. The culture in the US is what makes it not comparable to your experience.

thetacobitch · 2023-03-05T22:52:13+00:00

Dating is easier in Europe because people aren’t fat by default

bottleblank · 2023-03-05T19:03:16+00:00

Personally i have never thought about other people personal life outside of close friends. Who was getting laid or not.

The vast majority of people relationship/dating situation is completely invisible to me.

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WowYouMustBeJoking · 2023-03-05T19:04:48+00:00

No one is saying finding relationships or marriage at some point is hard. Most men can and do get those. What's hard is getting laid without commitment consistently.

Maffioze · 2023-03-05T21:59:41+00:00

Imo the hard part isn't getting laid or getting a relationship, the hardest part is actually being respected and treated well in that relationship.

MxMaster9907 · 2023-03-05T18:57:06+00:00

Bruh rare Europe w

Safinated · 2023-03-05T19:14:56+00:00

It is if you want it now and expect it, like we do in impatient America

LupeDyCazari · 2023-03-06T02:37:04+00:00

Bro, you are giving us a perspective from Europe. European women are on average far more attractive than American women, and so are the European men, even if those Europeans come from the United Kingdom, they are still greatly more attractive than the Americans; and that's not to mention the thought process that is so greatly different between the Americans and Europeans.

You just can't compare the dating world in Europe to the dating world in the North American continent, completely different. American men are so unappealing as men, with personalities so boring and with personal interests that are so generic, that unless the American guy is really hot - there is nothing about him that will draw the romantic or sexual interest from an American woman.

CommunicationNo9896 · 2023-03-06T15:03:31+00:00

I'd say it is harder for non-social and autistic people like me.

It is way harder because there is a lot to fix before even being able to date.

If in a few years I get nothing, I will give up for good and stop giving a damn about this shit forever. I hope not, but better than stay hopeful being hopeless.

randomizer300k · 2023-05-26T10:56:01+00:00

Ce prost esti, coaie. Sterge-ti postul.

Title	Dating is really not that hard - a perspective from Europe
Author	tio_mio_1999
Upvotes	0
Comments	131
Date	March 5, 2023 6:40 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11j76al/dating_is_really_not_that_hard_a_perspective_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-is-really-not-that-hard-a-perspective-from.1154360 https://theredarchive.com/post/1154360

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