Do women have difficulty getting wet when they're nervous, the same way men have trouble getting hard?

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2025-06-08T05:48:49+00:00

I think for me if I try to push myself to have sex with the guy before I'm ready ( meaning to nervous or anxious) I won't be as wet as I would like to be/ could be but also in that circumstance it's more like I won't cum.

Tylikcat · 2025-06-08T05:13:17+00:00

"This doesn't make sense to me because getting wet for women is kind of the equivalent of a man getting hard..."

Physiologically, no, it's not. Though I gather you mean... practically, I guess?

If I'm not wet, I'm not interested. But then, my vag is rarely to never totally dry - that's just not how it works. It would be like having your mouth totally dry. (Okay, maybe if I'm really upset or something? I haven't ever thought about it in the middle of being upset.) And to extend that metaphor, the wet we describe as part of sexual arousal is like drooling - or at least, having your mouth fill with saliva because you're hungry and smell something good to eat.

My_House_on_Mars · 2025-06-08T05:58:40+00:00

Yes it happens to women to. An extreme case of nervousness is vaginismus, where the vagina doesn't even open to allow penetration

Nobody should shame others for not being able to have sex obviously

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-06-08T14:59:12+00:00

If you thought even a little about how sex works, you would know the answer to this question already

AnonPinkLady · 2025-06-08T05:37:49+00:00

Absolutely! Hormonal shifts and other less predictable factors make a difference but I can get really anxious or stressed and have trouble relaxing. Even the temperature in the room can have an effect or if a fan is blowing can dry me out. Lube can help with the moisture but the vaginal muscles can be too tense to feel good during penetration and it will hurt. I generally find it takes about 2 - 3 different sexual interactions with a new sexual partner to actually get comfortable and have sex come easily. The first two interactions are often so awkward and nerve wracking I can’t relax and often neither can they. I make a point of saying we can focus on foreplay and other stuff until we get the hang of it and encourage them to let us “practice” with each other before expecting it to be perfect. And even then- some days it’s just hard to do.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-06-08T13:57:59+00:00

Yep. The muscles also tense and do not relax (this is more similar to you not getting hard, as the muscles that make you big and hard are the same ones that make our vagina longer and prepared for sex)

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-06-08T05:08:18+00:00

I can only speak for my self but no this has never been a problem

Powerful_Monitor3659 · 2025-06-08T19:27:00+00:00

I dont really get nervous

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2025-06-09T08:22:05+00:00

Sort of, yes. I'll get a bit wet but only because my body is in defense mode and at a certain point it will become wet just to prevent further damage.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2025-06-10T02:54:41+00:00

Vaginal fluid doesn’t just come from arousal. It can also come from avoiding trauma to the tissue. So a woman can be fearful, victimized, or forced and still be wet. Typically being dry for intercourse with a partner comes from not being turned on enough but obviously not at avoiding physical trauma stage. This can be from being anxious, but not likely. Fear is a better word than anxiety I think. But I think mostly for women It’s typically from the oven not being warm enough yet. Women are all different. Some are wet very easily and some take a lot of warming up. This can change with age, hormones, pregnancy, birth control and what day she is in her cycle. How I’ve avoided this - I always go down on a woman/have someone go down on me before penetration. Unless it’s the legit baby dance and we just gotta do the do, then lube is fine. Or, if I’m short on time and just want a quick release but don’t want to be entirely selfish. Otherwise, you gotta do more stuff. I personally have never had an issue getting a woman wet, and I do see it more as the partners job to rev up the engine before taking it out on the town. To be fair I also see that as the partners job with people with penises as well. Sex is about mutual enjoyment and that does mean work on both sides.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-06-08T08:30:04+00:00

No, it just means lack of attraction.

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Robot_Alchemist · 2025-06-10T14:14:11+00:00

It can happen

RelativeYak7 · 2025-06-08T07:07:31+00:00

There is quite an easy solution to this problem: spit on your hand when he isn't paying attention and apply to desired region.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2025-06-08T12:45:11+00:00

I'm 32 I don't get nervous during sex

oppositegeneva · 2025-06-08T13:13:42+00:00

100%

Before I was with my husband I was with one other man, who groomed me and was later on extremely abusive. His body count was in the 10-15 range so he had experience with women.

We were together for years and I struggled to get wet with him, eventually I would during the act but never anything substantial. Because I had been with no other men I literally thought something was wrong with me.

When I first slept with my husband he was a virgin, so 0 experience and it showed. Just us making out during foreplay made me respond very well, in a way I never had before.

It’s almost like my body knew my ex was an unsafe person who made me nervous before I actually internalized the message.

(will delete this comment later it feels too lewd to sit on my page lol)

Title	Do women have difficulty getting wet when they're nervous, the same way men have trouble getting hard?
Author	always_pizza_time
Upvotes	2
Comments	50
Date	June 8, 2025 4:57 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1l6444p/do_women_have_difficulty_getting_wet_when_theyre/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-have-difficulty-getting-wet-when-theyre.1554200 https://theredarchive.com/post/1554200

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