Many men find themselves in a position whilst dating, in which they feel like they get friendzoned, or that they don't get treated well because they are "too nice".

They then feel like becoming an "asshole" will fix this issue.

However, they are unable to understand how modelling "asshole" behavior; a) alienates them from the people that they might actually form positive relationships with and b) is more likely perceived and confidence by others, which is actually the trait they ought to be cultivating, instead.

They also aren't able to foretell that the kind of behaviour they are engaging in is toxic in the long run, for both themselves and their partners, and will most likely negatively affect the probability of having longer term happier relationships.

I believe that instead of trading their "nice card" outright, they need to instead develop other relational skills like self respect, boundaries, confidence and self esteem, and understand that if a relationship isn't reciprocal and mutual they should simply move on.

I don't believe anybody gets born with a full set of social skills, I think that part of maturing as an adult is being able to do an inventory, and through self reflection and self awareness, cultivate the skills needed to have fulfilling relationships (with yourself and others).

I feel like men are at a disadvantage when it comes to understanding the behaviours of others, and reading social cues, due to how we socialise boys and girls differently.

Empathy/ emotional and social intelligence are not often encouraged in men during development, however I'd argue that these traits are the most useful in attempting to understand the behaviour of others.

So how do we cultivate positive self-development in boys and young men?