Q4M: Why would extremely high standards in some women bother you? Doesn't this just make filtering out picky women easier?

thedeadpill · 2020-03-22T05:12:55+00:00

I think the anger from guys comes from basically not being given a chance. There are so many posts on blogs, opinion columns and news sites about women's experiences being too picky and missing out on family life.

What mainstream media is silent on is that there are millions of men out there with the same problem.

I would venture that those men are frustrated, partly because it's a signal that they're "not good enough" (and it needs no saying so, but it's a major blow to the ego to be unwanted), but also because they believe if women weren't so damn picky they could be happy (and the men missing out could also be happy). Instead, they choose nothing, and then have the temerity to whine about it.

tl;dr: women being picky means family-oriented both women and men lose out for women being picky with a side bonus of feeling awful because they're not good enough for anyone.

majani · 2020-03-22T05:27:33+00:00

As someone who has grown through the social media age, my issue is with the crazy rise in standards with time. In my late teens I had little problem attracting model quality women since my competition was mostly just men within a 5km radius of campus. Now that caliber of woman has 5k+ followers and gets DMed by international celebrities and sugar daddies regularly. Despite looking better than ever(early 30s) and having more money and an OK following on social, I get so many rejections from hot women nowadays. I completely understand it and I'm fighting to adapt, but it's still jarring to compare how things have changed

Killer_Queen_Daisan · 2020-03-22T08:07:49+00:00

When I date, I tend to feel like shit. Why do I feel like shit? Because I'm unattractive, and when people reject me that just reinforces the fact that I'm unattractive. I'm a pretty sensitive guy, so I stop dating for long periods of time when it gets too much for me to handle.

When I focus on other parts of my life, I'm a lot more content. I'm probably a loser to most women. I game a lot and I don't have a lot of friends. I'm unambitious and I simply do not care anymore. But guess what? I love it. When I game with the friends that I have I feel happy. I actually find more human connection and acceptance through discord from people that I have never met face to face on the other side of the globe than trying to meet new girls irl. The amount of effort that I applied getting to know these goons? Next to zero.

It bothers me because every woman has high standards. It turns me off because the older I grow the more I realize that I can just get human connection and intimacy from literally staying at home on my ass with a computer in front of me. Why do they make it so difficult? I don't know I don't care anymore.

Basically IME woman are picky and I don't fit the bill. I've stopped trying for the most part and find happiness elsewhere. Seeing people happy together kills me a little inside and it bothers me. I don't hate people for being picky, I just wish I was strong enough to care even less.

saladfingers4141 · 2020-03-22T12:45:36+00:00

Men who are angry at women's standards are the ones who automatically get filtered out of dating by 99% of women they find attractive.

Why would men celebrate the fact that they aren't found attractive? Filtering out picky women is only an option for men who actually have options already.

Workaholiconew · 2020-03-22T15:50:48+00:00

The problem is that it is almost alll women together. If it was just a part of the population, we could always choose another. But not when it is all of them together. In all of the world.

My and many other red pill men from around the world, being here is more than the proof for that, the exceptions are rare and far between you can call a woman with reasonable standards a unicorn, no matter the country. Brazil, Britain or Botswana. All the same.

This cultural shift to pickyness is world wide and pushed by ideology. It just lead to people ending up alone, frustrated, and burned, regardless of sex. Thats why the warning.

We are warning that it is an absurd idea to have such pickyness. You will only be making things harder for everyone.

There is a reason we say "enjoy the decline" and "enjoy while you can" you know? Men's resilience have a limit, and the worlds female population is getting there (Look at data of relationships).

icefire54 · 2020-03-22T05:14:31+00:00

Women: "OMG Eugenics is so evil!!!"

Also women:

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-03-22T06:08:01+00:00

What do you mean "why?" Lol. Extremely high standards are akin to unrealistic standards. Standards are also unique to the person making them. If they're worth it, their standards are not high. They're equal. If they're not worth it, then their standards are high.

Men don't like high standards because that means the people setting the standards are either more trouble than they're worth, or because a lot of men will be left out from having someone who presents themselves as a "quality woman."

Men don't care about women "being picky" as long as they don't look like Barbara Streisand asking for, and accepting no less than Liam Hemsworth.

lilsaihah · 2020-03-22T08:15:08+00:00

If you're unemployed and have never had a job but every job requires 2+ years of experience, would you be bothered by those employers?

On the face of it it seems like a reasonable statement; yes you should know what you want, that is going to make your relationships much much easier. Yeah I like women knowing what they want and being quite clear about it; if I don't meet it, I move on, I'm past the age where you need that kind of interactions with women.

Cash50000 · 2020-03-22T11:24:44+00:00

It bothers me, but not the way you think. There is nothing to be done about it, it is just extremely unfortunate. Because you just described almost all women, therefore filtering them out leaves pretty much nobody to choose from. The way biology works, if I'm not in the 1% I may as well give up.

wtknight · 2020-03-22T14:33:00+00:00

Isn't me (and other women) knowing what I want actually good for men who don't want to date picky women?

It's perfectly fine if you're matching up with these men monogamously. It's bad if you're just being plated by them and they're also having sex with other women besides you.

BruhMoment45886 · 2020-03-22T05:44:01+00:00

Because when reality hits them they'll be "forced" to "settle" for a guy they think is below them. And when women settle they dont respect you as much, treat you as well, and in general resent you for no real reason.

And idk it just pisses me off when gross girls have high standards. Like know your place.

throwitaway314592654 · 2020-03-22T05:08:29+00:00

You should date who you want and not settle for what you don’t want.

Men who have a problem with that aren’t winners.

sadomasochrist · 2020-03-22T05:16:10+00:00

What, you mean all the woman who have had sex with a couple different men?

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-03-22T06:30:19+00:00

To me, it is neither good nor bad. People like what they like, period.

But I do find annoying when 3/10 fatties, uggos, spinsters and single moms bitch around they aren't good men left and try to shame us into "stepping up".

Zippo-Cat · 2020-03-22T07:08:49+00:00

I dunno, why WOULD it bother me?

2020-03-22T11:43:24+00:00

It actually only bothers me when they turn to less than ideal men because the top 1% men only pump and dump them.

And speaking of which, women do the exact same thing. Woman call men who date younger women immature, predatory, creeps who could never get women their own age and therefore pursue younger women. If you truly believe that, why would you care if these immature men are out of your dating pool, makes no sense.

Wallstreet3 · 2020-03-22T12:00:45+00:00

My standards are narrow so nope. What pisses me off are people with a narrow window complaining of lack of options. And then these same people complaining about my narrow window.

Stop complaining about the effects of your BS.

Million-Suns · 2020-03-22T17:04:52+00:00

Because it's a never ending game in which you feel you can never catch up.

You would think that now that women joined the workforce and a percentage of them even earn more than men, that the expectation of men being the providers would collapse? Quite the reverse.

There is no solution.

RedPill_Dragon · 2020-03-22T22:06:59+00:00

I look at it more from a 1950's perspective. Women married men in order to make strong families. A woman could date a man who was an excellent provider yet say maybe a 6/10 an together, they would make a wonderful family. The man would fully work and teach his children, especially his sons, to study, work, marry, and be a provider just as he is.

Now, that 6/10 provider has to deal with utterly sexually repulsive women and/or has gotten divorce raped already. His value as a father and provider is zero. The woman thinks that her scarce salary is something of value as long as she can go out and bang multiple Chads and Tyrones. Her children, especially her son, has to see the horror of watching multiple men sexually use his mom while providing no value to the kids. The son is shown that no education, no achievement, no job is necessary, just look good and women will blow you without any need for commitment.

This is why I don't like women's behavior in selecting mates.

M4sterDis4ster · 2020-03-22T22:12:11+00:00

Women have high standards for certain men. For some they have low standards.

It is not about having high standards, it is about being a guy running few miles more than other guys had to. It is about double stanrds.

MrHerbSherman · 2020-03-23T00:37:55+00:00

Doesn’t bother me personally but I do see it as a societal problem on a large scale

NeedingAdvice86 · 2020-03-23T01:22:59+00:00

A vast majority falling into your category of women don't have HIGH standards, they have EMOTIONAL standards.

The big problem with emotional standards are that they are like wisp of the wind amongst the heather....it might have seem like a good emotional decision AT THAT ONE POINT IN TIME to drop your perfectly fine fun dude because of the wink from the tatted up drug dealer with the easy access to weed living on his baby momma's sofa because his addiction used up all his money, the police was watching his flat and she needs him out of jail to keep the DSS checks rolling in.....but there are consequences to making such a disastrous decision which you are perfectly fine to make in your life but nobody thinks you went with a HIGHER standard, you went with the EMOTIONAL standard showing that you don't have the behavioral control\decision making control to make such a decision........NOW you are demanding a do-over\opps forget about that fuckup, I do better. <wink, wink>

But quality guys know that there are better options available who can be trusted to make better choices and better control of their behavior so they will choose not to allow you into their world\life where you might really fuck things up so badly...you have already proven to see only as far as the end of your vagina so it is gonna have to be nope.

G77R23D · 2020-03-22T05:20:59+00:00

So why did these long relationships end? Why wasnt one of these men, who you picked, the one?

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2020-03-22T11:12:43+00:00

I think women should be more picky.

DangZagnut · 2020-03-22T12:42:13+00:00

I have zero problem with it and frankly think women aren’t picky enough.

reluctantly_red · 2020-03-22T13:45:51+00:00

Isn't me (and other women) knowing what I want actually good for men

Sure -- unfortunately, far too many women don't seem to know what they actually want. They lie to themselves and, more importantly, to the guys who are interested in them.

2020-03-22T17:28:45+00:00

[deleted]

DaphneDK42 · 2020-03-23T03:18:31+00:00

I recon its not that they have high standards, but what they define as high standards.

I kinda still can't help getting disappointed when women define high standards to mean things like serial killers, low life criminals, or Nazi invaders. Yeah, having their head shaved and paraded naked through the streets was getting off way too easy.

eboy4hire · 2020-03-23T04:15:33+00:00

Because that's one more hot woman I have no chance of fucking. It feels like a punch to the face every time. Also you're assuming that all women don't have the same ideal standards as you and that there's some illusive "not picky" woman out there.

party_dragon · 2020-03-23T15:49:21+00:00

Maybe standards aren't getting higher, just the people are getting shittier. If I was in the US, where the average person is obese and the 90th percentile is still fat, I wouldn't be dating either.

bonusfruit · 2020-03-24T06:48:03+00:00

Any person being judged and deemed not good enough is bothered by it. People have egos. There's nothing abnormal about feeling bothered by something

NockerJoe · 2020-03-22T07:21:57+00:00

As a guy who meets a lot of standards I resent the idea that my friends who don't aren't good enough despite the fact that they're more fun to be around when sex isn't on the table. The woman is, in my experience, usually the more boring of any given couple. I'm kinda automatically against anyone in my social circle who looks down on anyone else in a serious non joking way.

If all I am to you is a dude who meets your esoteric standards odds are you're kind of a bitch and don't meet mine.

Title	Q4M: Why would extremely high standards in some women bother you? Doesn't this just make filtering out picky women easier?
Author	Semibrokenbunny
Upvotes	12
Comments	161
Date	March 22, 2020 4:59 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/fmudm5/q4m_why_would_extremely_high_standards_in_some/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-why-would-extremely-high-standards-in-some.356711 https://theredarchive.com/post/356711

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