The average guy has only incentives to focus every dating energy he has on casual sex for as long as he can, and no incentives to focus on long term relationships

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-09-15T17:16:31+00:00

Or you have the same conversation millions dudes have had before and millions will after where you go “I dunno, bro: I just like her! I like when she’s around, I like when we just hang out. I just like doing stuff with her. And I think about her all the time when she’s not around. I think I might be falling for this girl!”

And then you are in love.

There is no “logic” in it cause love isn’t logical. Neither is a lot of things that are amazing as hell.

richard_golbes · 2022-09-15T17:53:41+00:00

which means a few men get a very high body count (think West Elm Caleb), most men have low ones, and women in general have a moderate to high one

There's no reason to suspect this is true.

Also, you're conflating "pre-marital sex" with "casual sex". It's much more likely that most people (men and women) are serial monogamists and the optimal strategy (and the most common strategy) is pairing off early with seemingly compatible people until you find someone who is suitable long-term partner.

ruboyuri · 2022-09-15T17:24:06+00:00

I believe men, and men say they want relationships and love

Electrical-Elk9058 · 2022-09-15T17:17:22+00:00

Kids.

Lower_Act_3421 · 2022-09-15T17:10:05+00:00

What about finding a woman to "settle down" and have kid(s) with?

Also, isn't having a relationship easier/more efficient than having to go out every night looking for a new girl? Or spending time on dating apps, or however you go about finding a girl. Plus the sex is usually better with someone you have sex with regularly. You want to have to train a new girl all the time or you want the one you've been practicing with for a while?

Oh yeah, and you get a friend out of the deal, you know? That's pretty nice..

womandatory · 2022-09-16T10:39:09+00:00

TL:DR Men want to fuck 1000s of fantasy, ‘slutty bitches’ who will perform degrading porn sex for them with zero expectation of anything in return, but they want to marry a pure, young virgin they can control and manipulate into believing they are some kind of god.

What a pathetic, boring, narcissistic, juvenile narrative. Unsurprising that young women are shunning men in droves.

betabucks666 · 2022-09-15T18:13:14+00:00

i've had girls from apps come straight to my home to hookup

and it's always worse sex than it was with ex gfs. you'll barely be used to the person and 15 mins later we're in bed. i think it's not what people imagine to be. maybe a fwb you have somewhat of a connection with you enjoy hanging out with is good. i'd just go for a relationship personally and have someone you care for and enjoy hanging out with. not just busting.

i wonder from this red pill ''spread your seed'' POV how many have walked the talk. maybe it's me, it's just not all that interesting.

wtknight · 2022-09-15T17:25:38+00:00

Virginity, low body count and chastity (a history of sex only within long term romantic relationships) are things men prefer in women

This isn’t always the case. Some men just want a woman who they feel they can trust and who they connect with, and former promiscuity does not make every man distrustful.

Male effort and focus: Sex doesnt "just happen" to the average man (or it does only once in seven blue moons), he has to actively make efforts towards it

I’ve had women basically invite themselves back to my place that I had no interest in, and I’m pretty average. I think women are willing to make it known pretty easily these days when they want to hook up, even with average guys. I’d venture to say that if an “average” guy has never had a woman who he wasn’t actively pursuing express sexual interest in him, then he’s probably not average. There are plenty of low value women out there who are willing to sleep with average men.

Male prospectives regarding women: Most women are not marrying when virgins, so chances are a man wont find a virgin wife

Many guys’ first girlfriends are virgins. If he can manage to keep things good with her, then he can marry a virgin, or marry someone who he was her first partner. The problem is that most men want to play the field and have sexual adventures, so by the time he is in his late twenties and settles down with a woman who is also in her late 20s, then of course she’s not likely to be a virgin.

the average guy has only incentives to focus every dating energy he has on casual sex for as long as he can, and no incentives to focus on long term relationships

As I said, if he doesn’t see a woman having previous boyfriends or casual sex as some measure of disloyalty, or if he stays with his first girlfriend and doesn’t go off and date new women, then there’s no reason that a man wouldn’t benefit from a relationship if that is what he desires.

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-15T18:46:41+00:00

I lost my virginity later than average and several men explicitly told me it was a turn off and they wanted a woman with a higher body count. They said this to me while admitting I have a nice personality, am attractive and seem like a good person. This does not apply to all men. Alot of men wrongly assume any woman who is a virgin will become clingy, want to get married right away or she will be terrible at sex, thats why.

Best_Illustrator_137 · 2022-09-15T22:45:28+00:00

Lol you didnt need all of that just to say this.. its just obersvable facts. Men wanna get laid —> unlike women they usually have to actively seek it—> so it requires more energy and time—> so relationships take a back seat when you’re a young man who wants to.

nvkr_ · 2022-09-15T17:28:02+00:00

I am a man and I couldn’t care less how many partners my girlfriend had before me. In fact, I once left a girl with an n count of one for a girl with an n count of probably 30 plus (never discussed this with her). So what now about male preferences, huh?

JMoon33 · 2022-09-15T17:15:44+00:00

Some men just want a life partner to love, live with, and have kids with. In that case they'll focus on finding that instead of casual sex. :)

cmvmania · 2022-09-15T18:23:50+00:00

So, with these in mind, my position is: the average guy has only incentives to focus every dating energy he has on casual sex for as long as he can, and no incentives to focus on long term relationships

I think only after his casual sex needs thresholds are fulfilled, men will finally start to prepare themselves to focus on long term relationships. sadly for most men, it happens way after college. this is also when we start to get responses from women like "he ain't committing, men only want to take revenge, etc."

It's not ideal, but reasonable.

Hexxkitten666 · 2022-09-16T04:55:24+00:00

Sigh. I wrote a huge thing rebutting these arguments awhile ago, but I'll just add the key points here:

Firstly, Body count prior to marriage or a relationship has NO proven effects on divorce/separation rate.

Finally, The majority of your sources are either from bias parties or had inadequate research groups. I'll try to find my original comment.

The issue here isn't with women being "sluts". Our society breeds this type of behavior for both men and women, not to mention, Its biologically natural.

In regards to "men" not desiring women who aren't virgins, the true issue there is the man's fragile ego, inadequate sexual health education, and low self-esteem. They either believe incel myths like the Vagina becoming looser from multiple partners, or they simply are afraid of the woman being able to compare him to previous partners. That's it.

risdeveau · 2022-09-15T18:12:54+00:00

Why do hard mode, as the red pill calls it, if you’re looking for efficiency and low effort?

meddit-throwaway · 2022-09-15T21:51:53+00:00

If you can easily get casual sex as a man, then you can also easily get into a relationship. I don't know many guys that can get laid easily but not get into a relationship. However I do know guys who are seen as the "relationship type" but can't get any casual sex no matter how hard they try.

Another way to look at it is, to have casual sex you have to be alpha which is much harder than being beta. Once you've broken the sex barrier, adopting more "beta" qualities such as comforting, caring, showing emotions etc is easier and will usually get you into the relationship zone, unless the woman is seriously against it (has experienced some relationship trauma in the past, etc and strictly just wants hook-ups).

JoeRMD77 · 2022-09-16T22:26:23+00:00

But all the guys having casual sex are Chads that don't get into relationships with the women they use for casual sex, according to you guys.

Sooooooooo...

Every time I was getting casual sex out of a woman, that's all I was looking for out of her.

Magnito-was-right · 2022-09-15T19:10:32+00:00

You sound very sexually inexperienced. Most people want to date others who have similar n counts as them.

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-09-15T19:06:02+00:00

So first of it: According to some study men cite the ideal amount of sexual partners in a woman as being maybe 8-10 iirc. Wanting a virgin is probably not common nowadays and a low amount might be a disadvantage (and I say this as someone with a low number).

Second, you can’t make a claim and then throw in some sources. This would give you an F if you were to write an essay.

mrcs84usn · 2022-09-15T17:07:44+00:00

The average guy has to put a lot of effort into becoming enough of an above-average guy to get casual sex with any degree of consistency. Otherwise, he will be like most average guys and get casual sex “once every seven blue moons.” The time & effort to get to that level will likely take several months/years.

IcarusKiki · 2022-09-15T20:02:03+00:00

until they hit 40

nemma88 · 2022-09-15T19:07:33+00:00

Counter point; the n count of women having casual sex isn't lower than women looking for relationships and there's nothing here suggesting your points should apply to one and not the other.

Otherwise an average guy has to put a tonne of resources into getting casual sex (due to the lack of women in the market and competition) and will be giving up a lot of sex to make it happen.

Offering a relationship and provisions is male sexual strategy for procuring sex and offspring.

Edit; probably want to add (as always!) preference doesn't mean much. I'm sure most women prefer a prince charming with an unlimited bank balance but that doesn't mean it's not worth dating an average man.

John_Oakman · 2022-09-15T17:31:49+00:00

This is what happens when every other form of achievement and accomplishment are demonized and mocked, as a way to fight against the oppression of the establishment and the system.

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-09-15T21:04:28+00:00

I don’t think any of your evidence backs your claim. If anything it says that a man should focus on settle down as quickly as possible in a long term relationship.

The younger you are the less likely you are to have a higher count. And you say that men value low count. And we also know that men are more likely to have sex in a relationship.

daisydaisydaisy12 · 2022-09-15T23:08:42+00:00

By all means be as superficial and pathetic as you like. Integrity and purpose is meaningless. Right? Lets go f som hors.

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darkvalleys · 2022-09-15T18:40:48+00:00

So, be hot or rich or famous? Sounds very low effort and easy

Sauron_78 · 2022-09-16T14:44:36+00:00

Well that's the reason gay men have stupendously higher body counts than straight men, while lesbians move in faster. Still many of them decide to change later.

toasterchild · 2022-09-16T15:44:50+00:00

If you are putting this much data analysis into having sex then you are doing sex wrong.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-09-16T17:21:52+00:00

If you can hookup with her, you can date her. So men focus on their physical appearance and attractiveness first, makes sense.

Title	The average guy has only incentives to focus every dating energy he has on casual sex for as long as he can, and no incentives to focus on long term relationships
Author	Electrical-Elk9058
Upvotes	42
Comments	152
Date	September 15, 2022 4:58 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xf1vf7/the_average_guy_has_only_incentives_to_focus/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-average-guy-has-only-incentives-to-focus-every.1208767 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208767

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