This is the wrong way to teach about empathy.

thedarkracer · 2024-10-20T18:22:44+00:00

That's not empathy that you are mentioning, this is a submissive behaviour we are taught to follow in schools nothing else.

Trikger · 2024-10-20T17:40:54+00:00

I can't watch the videos (not available in my country), but I agree that it's weird to equate honesty with a lack of empathy.

"Ewwww. This lemonade sucks!"
"This tastes fine! I like it."

From an empathetic standpoint, the second response is more empathetic than the first. However, it's also the safest.

"Thank you, but I don't like the lemonade. It tastes salty."

A response like this would combine honesty with empathy. Teaching children that a response like this is okay will help them be assertive yet respectful in the future. We shouldn't teach our children to lie for the sake of someone else's feelings.

However, if the typical "girl way" of lying is fear-induced, then we should also look at why girls fear being honest.

cardboard_pyramid · 2024-10-20T19:44:04+00:00

Women don’t have more empathy than men, they’re just more polite because they know their power comes from social perceptions.

Women will quickly apologize for mundane things such as accidentally bumping into you or being late, but if you ask a man when the last time his girlfriend/wife apologized for hurting his feelings he’ll be stumped.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-10-20T20:27:02+00:00

i dont know where people get the idea that empathy means you actually have to agree with the other person or tell them they are right.

its really just understanding the thought process and motivations/reasoning behind someones actions and behaviors

KGmagic52 · 2024-10-20T17:52:13+00:00

I've seen a similar "test your men" video where the mom puts a little bit of the chili she's cooking on top of a teaspoon of salt and feeds it to each of them to see if they will speak up or act like it's good. The "good" guys are supposed to shut up and act like they like it of course.

py234567 · 2024-10-20T19:58:30+00:00

This really needs to be said more. Thats not empathy!!! And actions alone without inner thoughts is not a good way of measuring maturity. Especially when there is no way to differentiate trying to appease out of empathy or out of fear.

KentuckyCriedFlickin · 2024-10-20T17:54:32+00:00

I hate when they frame the differences between the genders as less mature or inferior.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-10-20T19:26:33+00:00

Sounds more like they just demonstrated the different average levels of agreeability in each sex

DaisyTheBarbarian · 2024-10-20T18:41:38+00:00

I'm not seeing the tie to "feminism" here ? Are these people from some kind of feminist think-tank or is any idiot who interacts with people and comes away praising the girls even if it's for anti-feminist reasons like teaching girls to accept gross things with a polite smile just chucked under the feminist label now?

I saw no feminism here, I saw excessive "politeness" and nonsense. Not everything that makes a comparison between the genders is feminist, even if the girls "win".

I agree that it's the wrong way to teach empathy, as both a mom and a feminist I'm appalled, honestly.

The boys were closer to my "ideal" reaction with maybe a little kinder wording and waiting their turns more nicely 😂 but that's the "empathy" I'd wanna teach them, not to stuff their feelings and opinions down. But either way the boys were fine, really, only slightly unpolished. Like kids.

The girls however... Okay, so this was an experiment on empathy, and yes, their reactions were empathetic. Yay, I guess, they win on "empathy"

But I dislike this framing of their empathy overriding their own sense of self being a good thing. There is absolutely no reason a kid can't be taught to decline politely and still honor themselves. There is nothing "feminist" about accepting crap with a smile to make someone else happy. Those are old expectations put on girls and women that today's mainstream feminism is largely fighting against.

I absolutely agree that this is a dumb way of teaching and framing empathy. I also disagree with the video makers that empathy means sucking it up and protecting someone else's feelings at the needless expense of oneself.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-10-20T19:11:58+00:00

That’s a symptom of the “agreeableness” that men always say that they want. Girls are trained from early childhood to never offend, to be “polite” and prioritize other people’s feelings and preferences over our own. It’s kind of funny to see men here criticizing the very behavior that they claim to want 🤣.

When we break away from that and speak up for ourselves, we are called masculine or aggressive or pushy. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely believe that girls and women should be raised and encouraged to speak up and be true to themselves, just pointing out that the expectations and push back are very real.

IcyTrapezium · 2024-10-21T00:44:58+00:00

They don’t seem to be trying to teach empathy. It’s a demonstration of girls being taught people-pleasing behavior. I’m constantly telling women to stop people-pleasing. One way to really stop seeing people-pleasing as kindness is to see it as manipulation. It’s trying to control other people’s emotions. Unfortunately girls are taught they can. This makes girls the perfect abuse victims, because they think they deserve the treatment they get and if they just acted the right way the abuser would stop abusing them.

So yeah, it’s showing girls care about managing other people’s emotions more. Some of this might be innate, but even if it’s innate I’m of the school that teaching girls to put others first is destructive. Always look out for number one first. Then you can care for others from a more genuine place because you’re not just trying to control them.

serpensmercurialis · 2024-10-20T19:14:37+00:00

It shouldn't be taught that it's better not to say anything when you are being wronged.

They're like 5. For all they know, this is just a type of lemonade they don't like. I highly doubt they feel like they are being "wronged" because that is projecting what the girls feel (disgust) as the intention of the other person when the girls have no evidence to support this. The person who made the lemonade says they worked really hard on it and they are looking for the girls' approval of what they did. The girls show socially appropriate behavior for the situation (other person making a good faith attempt to please people to get approval, so even if they don't really like the lemonade, they don't really lose anything by giving approval. In fact, they gain socially from the person seeking approval.) Not saying that social norms can't be weaponized or manipulated, but that having the capacity to engage in socially appropriate behavior and read the situation is objectively a good thing. Aiden even probably had the best response - expressing how he felt, but with consideration for the other person. Of course it's not going to have perfect execution, they're like 5 lol.

Definitely, noticing someone needs help is good. But don't act like the typical girl way of lying is "empathy". It's just fear.

To be fair, your expressed distaste for the whole thing is also fear-based. You fear your experiences and desires will be considered less important than the feelings of others or that you will be socially punished for doing so. You seem to equate consideration with subjugation, which is obviously something men fear. You could water most social skills down to "fear" if you really tried.

Redpill-mind · 2024-10-20T17:43:25+00:00

But the feminist need to act like everything girls do is good is now teaching harmful things. Females do struggle speaking up for themselves out of fear of reprisal throughout their life. It shouldn't be taught that it's better not to say anything when you are being wronged.

This is how you create weak men

Ganymede309 · 2024-10-21T06:59:27+00:00

Schrodinger's feminism exhibit #209585832

either women are more empathetic and men lack empathy

or

women are more honest and guys are liars

eye_of_gnon · 2024-10-20T23:45:14+00:00

First off, "empathy" is a meaningless word these days for leftists to virtue signal with. Few actually have empathy for anyone who's not like them. Second, feels over facts leads to shithole societies in the long run

AutoModerator · 2024-10-20T17:21:43+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-10-20T17:21:44+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2024-10-20T21:02:35+00:00

Can't see the video because not in US, but from what you described girls suck for that one. It's sad and I hope they are raised in a way that will make them unlearn this shit.

On the other hand this tendency probably makes them less likely to kill someone who pisses them off, but whetevs

GridReXX · 2024-10-20T22:30:46+00:00

You make assumptions I don’t agree with here.

You assume the girls are doing it because they’re “submissive” or “afraid”? Or at least that’s what I’m gathering from your OP and your replies to others.

To determine if it’s behavior showcasing “thoughtfulness” or “consideration” or “compassion” (aka what people mean when they say “empathy”) we need to investigate the motivations behind why the girls did what they did.

If the girls are doing it because they’re afraid or scared or submissive then I agree with you, but if it’s the bolded I stated, then I disagree with you. If it’s those things, that is in fact “considering the feelings and perspectives of others” which is more empathic 🤷‍♀️

Maybe they explain the motivations in the video? I’m in spotty service so can’t watch yet. I imagine these researchers aren’t idiots and what I bolded is the basis of their methodology and measurement of empathy?

TLDR: Empathy is about considering the perspectives and feelings of others into your decision-making.

S0yslut · 2024-10-21T00:18:43+00:00

I’d praise my kid for being honest. I don’t plan on raising sheeple afraid to speak their minds because Wokies think everything offends them.

Title	This is the wrong way to teach about empathy.
Author	babazuki
Upvotes	52
Comments	100
Date	October 20, 2024 5:21 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1g83vig/this_is_the_wrong_way_to_teach_about_empathy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/this-is-the-wrong-way-to-teach-about-empathy.1533059 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533059

Comments