Why don't I know any sluts?

currentissuesofme · 2017-01-16T22:25:52+00:00

do sluts mostly hang out with other sluty type people?

Essentially, this. Birds of feather. People tend to hang out with people very similar to themselves, not just sexually but in general. Most of my friends, myself included, are fairly "slutty"; we like sex and get along better with people who are comfortable with sex so there ya go. A similarly illustrative example: I am aware from commercials/seeing people wearing jerseys ect that sports are quite popular. However, I literally cannot recall a time when there was a sports conversation at one of my parties/a party I attended.

EGOtyst · 2017-01-16T22:17:22+00:00

You said it yourself. The women you know are all women you don't know well. If they don't want to fuck you, why would they tell you about their sexual history? You are NOT sex material, so the topic of sex never comes up with you.

psycho-logical · 2017-01-16T22:56:02+00:00

I wouldn't call them sluts, but promiscuous women are pretty damn common in the Western World.

You don't need 'sluts' in your circles to be aware of their existence. You must have some sort of blinders on (which maybe partly explains the incel thing).

What is your thesis anyway? That single women are only having sex in LTRs?

The women I talk to generally express not having sex for even 3 months as a drought. Moderately attractive women are not living as female incels.

Women don't have difficulty getting sex. Their concern is much more about being safe and getting good sex.

disposable_pants · 2017-01-17T10:39:23+00:00

Every female person I get to know beyond common courtesy standard, has had at most 1-3 boyfriends and is married or in ltr or single.

Most posters in this thread are commenting about how what you've been told about these women's sexual histories is probably not true, and they're right. You almost certainly aren't getting the full picture, if you aren't being outright lied to in many cases.

Take a hypothetical 30-year-old woman named Ann. Ann is engaged to a wonderful guy, Dave. She's had three relationships with men she's called her boyfriend before she met Dave -- guys she'd be with for a year or more at a time, who'd meet her friends and her parents, and who'd sleep over at her place regularly (if she wasn't sleeping at theirs). Maybe one guy in high school, one in college, and one in her mid-20s.

She's also:

Casually dated, say, 5 other guys who didn't quite become "boyfriend" material. These are guys she saw for maybe 1-3 months, who slept over at her place sometimes (as she slept over at his), who might have met some of her friends, but who didn't meet all of them and absolutely didn't meet her parents. Maybe one she met right away when she went to college, one she met as a senior in college after her and her serious college boyfriend broke up, one she met right after moving to a new city after college, and the other two were right before and after her last serious relationship before meeting Dave.
Slept with, say, 4 other guys who she can't say she even casually dated. Sure, maybe they went out on a date or two (or went to a formal in college), but they just wound up sleeping together a couple of times and then for whatever reason just drifted apart -- it wasn't all that special to either one of them. One was again when she was a senior in college, and the other three were guys she met wherever she's living now as she spent various parts of the last eight years as a young, single woman.
Had one night stands with, say, 3 more guys. Don't get me wrong, she's Not That Kind of Girl -- it's just that she's been sexually active for 12-15 years by age 30 and, well, they just kind of happened. One was in France that summer she studied abroad in college, one was with a really hot guy she met at a friend's birthday while still settling in to her new post-college city, and the other was that time she went out and got super drunk after she and her last serious boyfriend broke up.

Now, who is soon-to-be-married Ann going to talk about to anyone outside of her closest friends? Obviously she'll talk about her fiance, and maybe over time she'll be telling a story and make a passing reference to some (but possibly not all!) of her serious boyfriends -- how could she not, if they met her friends and parents? But is she going to talk a bunch about those guys she slept with for two months and nothing came of it? What about those guys who she slept with just three or four times, who even her best friend simply may never have heard about? Obviously she's not going to talk about one night stands with mere acquaintances, right?

The point isn't that Ann is or isn't a slut. The point is that a woman can say she's had only 3 boyfriends by age 30 (and mean it -- she's not really lying, and certainly doesn't think of herself as lying) but actually have a partner count well into the double digits. That's not even one new guy every six months.

voteGOPk · 2017-01-16T22:20:04+00:00

Well, let's look at the evidence.

You're 30, an age where most western women are starting to 'settle down', so to speak, and start families. Most people at this stage (in your circle of influence) are in ltrs, so that's the kind of people you'll be introduced to. People in relationships tend to be friends with other people in relationships. You have a small circle of friends that you probably don't venture out of, leaving you with the impression that they are the be and end all.

People who have casual sex go out more (clubs, bars, downtown, etc), they have larger friend groups and know more people in general.

You could try to find people down for casual sex through a variety of different forms: Tinder, OkCupid, Fetlife, Craigslist, clubs, bars, or alternatively, you could hire an escort.

SkinnySweaty · 2017-01-16T22:43:40+00:00

Username checks out.

DashneDK2 · 2017-01-17T02:25:24+00:00

"How could Nixon have won? Nobody I know voted for him."

You're a 30yo intel, and you wonder where all the sluts are at... Yes the sluts mainly hang out not with incels.

anitapk · 2017-01-17T05:05:25+00:00

Because unless women want to fuck you they won't let you know they're promiscuous because it's none of your business, and you might want a piece too. Or they're keeping their act clean in an effort to preserve their image.

prodigy2throw · 2017-01-16T23:21:41+00:00

Women act different around different men. Ie. they will act prudish around incels and slutty around Chads, more or less

Entropy-7 · 2017-01-16T23:07:06+00:00

According to this, which is getting a bit dated, about a third of women 25 to 35 have had less than 3 sex partners, another third have had 3-6 and another third more than six, with about 13% having 15 or more. It is a subset of the latter, so 5% to 10% of women, who are the really slutty ones or the party animals in college. They just seem more prevalent than they are.

And roughly half are married or cohabitating (ie. in an LTR) so it is not strikingly unusual for the OP to observe this in his social circle.

Plus they could be lying about their n-count so all of them claim to have <3

OncleJulian · 2017-01-17T08:01:08+00:00

every girl I know is a ''slut'' with counts of 20+ before they are 25, easily. And that's the chicks with low N counts. I have one friend who at the age of 30 fucks thirty guys a year, without counting the mere hookups without sex, just blowjobs or handjobs or whatever. She's also very particular about her tastes in men. She's a barbie doll that only fucks black men, not even dudes with mixed blood. Only pure black men haha.

I met these girls either back in college, high school, or by hanging out with chads. Sluts are like the Earth: the revolve around the sun.

The sun being chads. Since you are an incel I'm pretty sure you don't hang out with chads. Why would you know any sluts, then? I don't get it tho. Women are very open with their sexuality with me. I talk with them for a few minutes and soon after they're telling me about the guys they fucked and what they did with them.

They've been doing this since I was a kid. maybe you are socially inept? Do you come across as shy and awkward?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-01-16T23:11:11+00:00

If you know any women you know some sluts

drok007 · 2017-01-16T22:17:19+00:00

Yeah you would have to go to parties, or events, or something. You need to meet people to become a slut, so you would have to out at places where people meet people.

BiggerDthanYou · 2017-01-16T22:25:44+00:00

do sluts mostly hang out with other sluty type people?

Yes.

Sluts hate not-slutty people. They want to be able to talk about giving strangers blowjobs without some shocked prudes around.

They either become alternative so that they can easily find more open and accepting people or they just learn how to hide it better and only talk to their bestest friend about it.

Do chicks like that, that, that, that, that or that exist in your social circle? (not saying all those women are sluts, but that women that are open about beings sluts tend to look like that (especially the tongue piercing))

You won't find many that are open about their sexuality if you hang out with modestly dressed, cute, shy, introverted chicks. Normal women just don't talk about sex all that much and don't live that sexually open lifestyle.

But if you start hanging out with less socially adjusted women you will be able to find women that are more open about it. Just go to more bars and night clubs.

Go talk to the chicks that drink beer in the park and hang out with the stoner chicks that smoke next to the river. They won't all be sluts, but among those people it's no problem to talk about sex so sluts will be steering towards those people to be friends with.

LewisCross · 2017-01-16T22:40:17+00:00

About me: incel aged 30, small circle of friends, went to state school, never "partied" in cliche fashion.

Every female person I get to know beyond common courtesy standard, has had at most 1-3 boyfriends and is married or in ltr or single. Can they be "slutting" it up without me knowing, probably, but let's just say it doesn't seem that way.

Yes, they probably are slutting up without you knowing. The women you know are never going to talk to you, a self described incel, about their sex lives. You'll never hear about their ONSs or that one time they got blasted drunk and fucked that minor league baseball player whose name they don't remember. Because youre just not the kind of guy they will talk to about that.

Where are all these sluts? are they even real? do sluts mostly hang out with other sluty type people?

Most women are or were sluts. Yes, they're real. Sluts are everywhere. They hang out with sluts and non sluts; they work jobs and are mostly pretty good at their jobs. Sluts are nice people most of the time.

[deleted] · 2017-01-16T23:03:34+00:00

Lots of 'em are hanging out on tinder:

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/dating/as-many-sexual-partners-as-they-can-get-dating-apps-fuelling-rise-in-casual-sex/news-story/7bb94ffbf5ddec69fd5a114aabed54db

allmen · 2017-01-17T00:04:49+00:00

Try going to burning man, it will AWAKEN your soul man!

Heres a punny site for you as well : https://burners.me/2013/04/16/10-ways-to-get-laid-at-burning-man/

squidracer · 2017-01-17T00:20:30+00:00

Where I have met sluts

Bars, online, church, bike nights, outside while riding, parties.. they seem to be every where

ppdthrowawai · 2017-01-17T01:53:01+00:00

Sluts are everywhere. They're just not particularly out in the open all the time and especially not for a low value man.

Looks can be deceiving though dude and as has been said here before, it's easy to be a slut. I remember hooking up with some girl I met online once. She was cute, awkward, and recently divorced to the only man she'd ever been with a few months back. JUST got back into dating. So I'm somewhere around number 2 or 3 or something, right? Nahhh, I was number 10 if I remember correctly. She'd only been with one man before then went on a hard bender. Fucking 9 dudes in a two short months was easy.

Can you imagine yourself doing the same? How realistically difficult would it be to fuck 9 different girls in 2 months?

sse23 · 2017-01-17T09:10:18+00:00

Because they don't tell you and why would they? Unless you actually ask or talk with them more intimately about sex you won't know the truth.

The innocent looking ones are often those who fuck around the most.

quicklogaccount · 2017-01-17T11:57:17+00:00

Why would them let you know of their sexual history? It serves them no purpose.
It doesn't matter that you ask. Most people don't think giving a false number for n-count counts as lying. "If you don't have the right to know, it doesn't matter that I deny you the information or give you a false one, the effect is the same."

Start going out, hit clubs and the alikes. You'll see some women are extremely comfortable receiving attention, while you'll see some others looking uneasy and dislocated.

5th_Law_of_Robotics · 2017-01-17T16:45:04+00:00

It's entirely possible you do but they aren't talking to you about their sexual history.

salami_inferno · 2017-01-18T08:20:08+00:00

You're a self identified incel who never really partied or hung out with the popular crowd. It makes sense you wouldn't experience many of these things. It's like the popular kids saying they don't have many experiences hanging out with anxious socially awkward people. Totally different circles of social class.

future_space_boobs · 2017-01-16T23:00:07+00:00

You probably roll with-- for lack of better terminology-- higher class people. I definitely knew more "sluts" back in my hometown, which was largely working class, than I do now. When I was growing up everyone slept around as a matter of course and then, for the most part, settled down by their mid-twenties.

That normalization of casual sex seems to be alien to people who grew up UMC/upper class. that's not to say they didn't have their scandals or teen pregnancies or blowjob queens, but it was just that: scandalous. the rich kids (which I use as a relative term: they were richer than us but by no means upper class) I've known have been exclusively monogamous and were all, without exception, raised in intact families with the expectation of marriage. compare that to my friends who grew up almost exclusively in broken homes and you can see why they didn't jump at the opportunity for monogamy. why bother?

Falkner1992 · 2017-01-16T22:39:32+00:00

Sluts don't exist, dude. Women don't give out sex for free.

Candy_Kittens · 2017-01-17T02:37:20+00:00

I wish i knew some sluts.

Xander_DB · 2017-01-17T09:23:07+00:00

If you don't know any sluts, you're either full of shit, never went to college or had a social life, or you grew up a Mormon in Utah.

nemma88 · 2017-01-17T09:31:30+00:00

incel aged 30, small circle of friends, went to state school, never "partied" in cliche fashion.

You've not hung around on the slut scene, it's not too common to find them outside their natural habitat. I don't suggest going out to find the 'AWALT' world, TRP doesn't sell it very well tbh.

Or something like that. Personally I'm in the UK and struggle to relate to a lot of what TRP says, it has been suggested before much of it isn't the same across the pond. So if your not in America it may not resonate the same..

winterrider · 2017-01-17T17:15:33+00:00

You know at least a few sluts but they aren't talking to you about their sexual history. Some of the girls you talk to have in actuality only slept with a few guys. Other girls you know have slept with tons of guys but lie about their sexual history. I remember many years ago, shortly after escaping my incel phase and perhaps a year after losing my virginity, I started dating this girl I met at church. My parents and my immediate social circle all thought of this girl as a low n-count good girl. Long story short, it turned out the chick was a total and utter slut, who, at the age of 24 had had sex with over 100 men. What is so funny about this story is the way she kept her reputation is she was the good girl for the Christian guys she was around and dated but unbeknownst to all of us, she was gang bang barbie for practically any non-Christian man who wasn't in our circle.

sunkindonut149 · 2017-01-17T18:59:16+00:00

Sluts loiter in bars. You will find them lurking in dive bars everyday.

-sick_sad_world- · 2017-01-20T15:59:50+00:00

Where are all these sluts? are they even real? do sluts mostly hang out with other slutty type people?

I don't know what you mean by "sluts", but it seems you are referring to real, normal, genuine women who have things their way. One reason you might not know any is because we are generally not interested in people filled with so much insecurity that they have to go around calling us "sluts".

AutoModerator · 2017-01-16T22:12:44+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair, just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Title	Why don't I know any sluts?
Author	voteGOPk
Upvotes	4
Comments	135
Date	January 16, 2017 10:12 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5odwba/why_dont_i_know_any_sluts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-dont-i-know-any-sluts.270601 https://theredarchive.com/post/270601

Comments