Gave my LTR an ultimatum

redpillschool · 2018-03-20T13:27:49+00:00

An ultimatum only demonstrates a position of weakness.

As Rian says in another comment- you are attempting to negotiate attraction.

First of all, these battles should have been fought much earlier on, when they were small battles. And you don't explicitly fight them with words such as "either you do x or do y."

When a woman does what's right in a relationship, you reward her with your time, attention, affection, etc. When she does something she knows she should not do, you remove said attention and affection.

That doesn't mean you'd have trained her over the past two years. But it does mean she'd have either shaped up or you'd have had the last year and a half to yourself without the dead weight.

That form of training conveys a position of strength. You reward only those who merit reward because you are high status.

Instead you spent 2 years telegraphing your low status. No wonder she gave you attitude at the end there. You don't call the shots in this relationship.

Keep an eye out for the light-switch effect which is undoubtedly coming. Make a clean break or suffer.

Kinbaku_enthusiast · 2018-03-17T20:23:33+00:00

Why do you monogamously date a girl for two years if she has good contact with a toxic family? She is choosing toxicity in her life. Ergo, she is toxic. What a waste of your time and emotional energy.

Next time you want to give an ultimatum understand that the moment anyone wants to give an ultimatum, they've already lost the war three steps before.

You have a lot to learn. At least you're taking action now and that's a step in the right direction. Good for you.

anymouse22334455 · 2018-03-17T22:54:28+00:00

Break up with her. An ultimatum is just confirmation she doesnt meet standards. She wont rise to the occasion. find a woman who conforms voluntarily not by force. If she respected you an ultimatum wouldnt be neccesary. Respect from a woman is a greater asset than love. Walk away now or live in regret forever.

anon35201 · 2018-03-17T20:26:53+00:00

talking about he's going to shoot me

Normally when redpill says "you dodged a bullet" we're being hyperbolic and figurative to make you feel better about getting out of a bad situation.

In this case the usage of the phrase could be said literally. When she comes crawling back offering hot make up sex, summon all the power of the universe to ignore. Cut off contact, no visits, no phone calls, no talking, no texts, no emails, no anything. You can do a LOT better. Plus it'll do wonders for your ego.

If she's choosing to side with people who are dancing on thin ice when it comes to threats of murder then she's doesn't have her priorities straight. You don't just marry her, you marry the family. Find a girl with a family you can get along with, you'll need everyone you can to help raise the kids. Planning to start the foot-race off with one leg missing is stupid. Cut off all contact, no more speaking. If she insists or gets up in your business with tears and offers for make up sex. Don't even say no, just ignore.

Rian_Stone · 2018-03-17T21:13:32+00:00

And ultimatum is an admission of being powerless and making a manipulative hail Mary.

Negotiated attraction at best give obligated compliance.

GayLubeOil · 2018-03-17T22:45:03+00:00

She sounds like an energy drain. Take that energy and start a business lift and create an amazing body, read and create an amazing mind.

In 10 years those OvenTier people will be wallowing in their own excrement as they are now.

WholesomeAwesome · 2018-03-17T20:30:35+00:00

Man your ultimatum really hit me as a a surprise leading up!

Why would you LTR with someone that has a shit family and is so shit themselves they stick around?

''she beat the shit out of me everyday'' ''so yesterday I gave her an ultimatum to not use a stick bigger than 1 foot.''

Today I called her and asked her what she's going to do.

you could also just wait and see. lol

Unlockyourmindplease · 2018-03-17T21:27:06+00:00

There is a huge difference between giving an ultimatum and attempting to control someone. Ultimatums are an extreme sign of weakness and insecurity on your part. You should have just hard nexted her without even telling her. She would have gotten the message.

My question: Why didn't you hard next at the FIRST sign of disrespect from her family without her sticking up for you?

atticusfinch1973 · 2018-03-17T21:35:42+00:00

Couple of things jump out. They wouldn't just randomly start disrespecting you for no reason. Either you said something/did something or she did in order for them to have a low value opinion of you. Then by not attending family events and showing you're butthurt about it you allow them to add wood to the fire that you're a douche.

You didn't even give any example about how they are a bad influence on her in your opinion.

Second, why even resort to an ultimatum and forcing her to choose her family over you? She's not going to disown her family or not attend events because her two year boyfriend is whining about being disrespected.

It sounds like most of the fault from this comes from you and she should dump you.

CrispyDeetz · 2018-03-18T05:31:17+00:00

Gave her the ultimatum or broke it off? If shes got people whispering shit in her ear all day long she WILL believe it. Hopefully your abundance has you prepared for this moment.

chauncy_popperstein · 2018-03-17T21:31:18+00:00

"Today I called her and asked her what she's going to do. She had a real bad attitude and basically acted like I'm not shit and she doesn't need me and all that. This is a new side to her that I've never seen before."

I would go no contact. I would also never be monogamous with this chick again. She would be demoted to a plate at best. But I'm a 34 year old guy and no longer play these games. She would be left wondering where the hell I went...

TLDR just move on. She isn't worth the drama and if this is the kind of family dynamic she is used to then spending time with her sounds like hell.

theologyofthebody · 2018-03-17T22:33:35+00:00

Hey man, you did a good job.

The point where you screwed up was when you called her asking for her decision. I'm guessing you were anxious about it, and that's why you called, as opposed to just disinterestedly getting info and checking in with a little support. So, to disguise your anxiety you pressured her, and she saw you were too invested.

She took you seriously it seems when you gave her the lowdown, and I bet she was legitimately considering which option to take and respected what you did. But you lost frame and she saw she was still in charge.

You had the right idea, you just weren't confident enough that you did the right thing. -J

poohbear1025 · Sat Mar 17 22:43:05 2018 UTC

Break up with her! My husband would never tolerate this, I would pick him every time over anyone.

[deleted] · 2018-03-17T23:45:55+00:00

Why do you even care. Break up and move on. Its easy unless you have kids.

Your essentially saying you want to go waste your time with a bunch of pricks who hate you, all over a girl. Why would you even bother

[deleted] · 2018-03-17T20:20:49+00:00

She has 300 guys on tinder waiting for her.

Thumbs up!

zyqkvx · 2018-03-17T22:47:57+00:00

Keep busy eating clean and working out, no idle time, awhile the shitstorm of feelings pass over you over the next few weeks. It's like breaking an addiction, an addiction of malformed emotional bonds.

Make a list in your phone of all the shit things she does that are completely unacceptable. Look back at the list when you feel the gravity of wanting to return to her; it will snap you the fuck out of it.

It's horrible timing to let your SMV to lower after a breakup. It corners your mind into thinking you are shit. Conversely, raising your SMV during the 2-12 weeks after a breakup is the cure.

CulturalWishbone · 2018-03-18T00:09:36+00:00

Once women feel comfortable with the relationship, they take it for granted and treat you like shit. Don't let them get comfortable.

DigitalMining · 2018-03-17T22:40:34+00:00

She has 400 guys waiting for her on Tinder. Let her go!

tteabag2591 · 2018-03-17T22:44:45+00:00

Why men bother telling women not to do things is beyond me. When you tell them not to do things, you give them the ammo to claim victim. Just take it as the sign it is that they're not as good as you thought. They want to do shitty things. Accept it. Don't fight it. Just punish/reward accordingly.

PatsFever · 2018-03-17T23:08:53+00:00

Anyone who chills with violent thugs and talks casually about shooting family/friends is someone you should not associate with, forget start a LTR with. She’s a low quality person who associates without the same and from your post it sounds like you could do better.

Ibanezguitarrocks · 2018-03-18T00:37:25+00:00

She's trying to get you to break up with her because she doesn't want to feel guilty for dumping you.

That's why she doesn't defend you when they talk shit about you behind your back. It's also why she keeps telling you about it.

Give her what she wants...

Copidosoma · 2018-03-17T22:00:07+00:00

"when she tells me the bad stuff her family says about me, she never mentions what she says to stick up for me."

Frankly, she is going to pick family over you unless you are pretty fucking fantastic. It has nothing to do with respect. It is unrealistic to expect her to do anything besides what she did. You probably wouldn't be any different if a girl wanted you to ditch your family because she didn't get along with them.

[deleted] · 2018-03-17T22:24:04+00:00

Next. Plenty of fish without mental health issues/bad families.

kellykebab · 2018-03-17T22:56:03+00:00

There are exceptions to every rule, but I think most people are pretty similar to the families they come from. If the family is a mess, the chances are very low that they are completely put together and worth your time.

Matthias_Foley35 · 2018-03-17T23:12:53+00:00

Pop smoke. Exfil. She ain’t worth it.

sunbro29 · 2018-03-18T00:48:25+00:00

This

She had a real bad attitude and basically acted like I'm not shit and she doesn't need me and all that

and this

I was not too happy in the relationship and had been contemplating a break up

Is all you need to justify a break-up and go through with it, which pretty much makes the rest of the post irrelevant (no offense though).

aga080 · 2018-03-18T01:04:26+00:00

oh dude... let me tell you, ultimatums with trashy girls DO NOT WORK. they simply do not care, they are so goddamn trashy they know they can just jump on some thug cock if you stop giving a fuck. trashy bitches are NOT WORTH THE TIME AND EFFORT break up with her immediately..seriously.

NullIsUndefined · 2018-03-18T02:12:19+00:00

Fucking next that shit. 2 years is a sunk cost. Move on

djthiago1 · 2018-03-18T13:16:08+00:00

Being with someone toxic will make better at finding a good person, you'll notice your radar will be extremellysharp at detecting bad girls, and noticing good qualities in the future.

2 years is a bit too much though, my toxic relationship only lasted 2 months.

ozaku7 · 2018-03-18T22:52:15+00:00

Slowly you start to realize that it's not the women that's the problem, but the men that allow themselves to be walked over by women.

Loss of self-respect is answered with loss of respect.

Thotwrecker · 2018-03-17T23:26:10+00:00

You haven't yet realized that women derive their concept of who they are externally. Her toxic family = her concept of who she is and where she stands. Which means she isn't going to just choose you over them because you said so. She doesn't respect you. And why should she, you presented these options like a bitch - women don't respond well to options and decisions and "your actions have consequences!" type logic.

That logic is literally masculine logic, it's if/then autistic programmer logic but into verbal statements. (If you do X, then I will Y, if you do A, I will B, if you do X and A, then I do...) it doesn't fucking make sense to her. Women listen to simple commands. State what you are going to do. "Yo your family is a bunch of dickheads. It's your family, but I am not going to do shit with them."

Or honestly I'd just say "Look there's no point to a relationship where you're going to participate in this "shit talk the BF" game with your family. Decide what you're going to do about them, let me know, and then I'll decide where we should go from there. Bye"

Obviously the better answer is not to LTR a girl that doesn't have healthy separations from her family. Seriously, like if a girl talks to her parents like 2x a week as a grown woman and asks their advice on like dating and friends and career shit all the time, and overshares with them, then she's immediately and irrevocably plate status. I ain't trying to date your family or your friends, and I think girls who don't have healthy separations and thus their own identity aren't real people yet. There's nothing there - girls from toxic friend groups or families - even "positive toxic families" - often have nothing of their own inside their head, their just actually amalgamations of the 5 people they spend the most time with.

This girl should never have been more than a plate. But if you were already LTR'd, then you have to understand - you don't give her OPTIONS. Tell her what to do, if she does what you want, you reward her, if she doesn't do what you want, you withdraw attention and end the relationship.

PossiblePattern · 2018-03-17T21:38:41+00:00

Cut all contact, ghost. If she calls your bluff you'll seem week.

drallcom3 · 2018-03-18T01:35:42+00:00

You can't get rid of family. Her family is a part of her. You choose her plus her family or you choose to leave.

OhPeaYeti · 2018-03-17T23:07:15+00:00

She's shit testing you. I honestly wonder if the family is even talking shit about you. She could very well just he making it up to see how you react. And no offense, you are way over reacting here. Who gives a shit if they are? They aren't worth your time to even think about. If those are the kind of people she WANTS to spend time with, I shouldn't need to tell you what to do. Judge women by their actions, not their words. Her actions are telling a much different story than her words are right now.

You failed the shit tests by reacting the way you did instead of holding an idgaf attitude. Regardless, that many shit tests is absurd. I would have left a long time ago. You are using sunk cost fallacy to justify not leaving now. Doesn't matter if she was a plate, or your wife of twenty years. That behavior is unacceptable. Time to plate or ditch. But, you already knew that before you even posted. Didn't you?

RedPimpin · 2018-03-17T23:15:48+00:00

ultimatums come from a place of weakness, you're making a fool out of yourself

this should be marked as a blue pill example

Paydenwayne · 2018-03-17T23:38:16+00:00

There is no hope for this relationship, there is a small amount of hope for you to save some of your pride and take it with you into a different relationship, hopefully with a new woman who will build ur pride instead of tearing it down. Grab what’s left of ur manhood and go, no more texts, no more calls, don’t look at any more pictures of her, nothing. Be gone, absolutely

redpilledguy · 2018-03-18T00:50:14+00:00

Most of the important points have been hit and acknowledged by OP. But in everyone’s fire and fury, they’re going overboard. No need to make a scene or react like a bitch.

Apply the sidebar. In this case, HumanSockPuppet’s guide to managing your bitches. It’s simple. Demote her. After the observed infractions, make her a plate, and she can never rise from that level. If she fucks up or fucks off, that’s up to her, then she’s done. You need to be fine with either one, but there’s no reason to deprive yourself of possible side piece, especially when pst girlfriends can make such depraved and willing plates.

abdout77 · 2018-03-18T03:38:21+00:00

Dude, the simple fact that she tells you this was an indicator of her Low self esteem.

Girls with Low Self-esteem are the ones who shittest the most. No normal person would tell their LTR that their family talk shit about them. Every time she did she just wanted to have a reaction, which you managed not to give. That's why she showed another aspect of her personality to you when you got mad.

But her family can't hate you for no reason. I think they didn't like you Because you SHE was talking she about you to her family, they obviously won't dislike you for no reason, specially if you learn all the TRP knowledge that learn us how to behave in society and therefore be at least appreciated.

That's another red flag, but a pretty hard one to notice.

captainzoomer · 2018-03-18T03:49:25+00:00

I'd wager that she is the one that complains about you the most to her family. They're just hearing her side of the story. Get as far away from this chick as you can!

frolgath · 2018-03-18T04:55:44+00:00

Multiple times my girl has told me about them talking shit about me.

Do you have any other evidence that they don't like you, or is just what she has told you?

Also, even if she is telling the truth, you have to consider why she is telling it. If somebody I know talks shit about somebody else I don't immediately go to tell that person, unless I want to stir up trouble.

There have been holidays that I didn't get to spend with my LTR because she was spending them with her family and I do not interact with them at all.

How do you know she was with her family at all? Seems a good excuse for her to spend the holidays doing whatever (and whomever) she likes.

coin_pwr · 2018-03-18T06:10:18+00:00

Life's too short to be with someone that under values you. Go where you're celebrated, not tolerated.

Scandinavianredpill · 2018-03-18T07:29:22+00:00

Your problem is that you accept to spend time in a situation like that. I would never call a girl with a family like that my girlfriend.

SovereignSoul76 · 2018-03-18T10:26:06+00:00

Ghost! Ghost! Ghost! Ghost!

Sir_Distic · 2018-03-18T12:10:30+00:00

You sound very young. I'm guessing between 16-22.

Life lesson: You CANNOT make a girl choose between her family and you. You'll lose every time unless she's a horrible person or her family is trash.

If your girl says: >"I'm going to Vegas for the week with my girlfriends. It's going to be so much fun."

What would you do? "I forbid you from going to Vegas! FORBID IT WOMAN!" lol. She'll laugh and go. She'll get as much dick as she can while she's there and KNOW you'll be right there waiting on her when she gets back.

Here's the solution. Decide, as a man and not a little spoiled child, what you're willing to accept. "I don't like the idea of a bunch of girls going to Vegas to get drunk and have a girl's night out. Now I can't tell you what to do. You can decide on your own. Just know that IF you decide to go to Vegas I won't be here when you get back. Simple as that." You set a line in the sand and wait for her to either cross it or respect it.

In your case all you can really do is accept what she does with you. You can decide "If you're going to be around your family who disapproves of me, the least you can do is stand up for me. Assuming you respect me. You do respect me, don't you?" and watch her reaction. No matter what she says watch her reaction. If she laughs and says "of course" you now know she doesn't.

"All I'm going to say on the matter is that if your family or friends disrespect me in front of you I expect you to stand up for me. That's what I would do if my family or friends tried to disrespect you." And if she fails to do that just take a deep breath and say "This no longer works for me. I wish you the best." and move on.

Her family isn't the issue. She isn't the issue. YOU ARE THE FUCKING ISSUE. Your insecurities and lack of boundaries are the issue. Don't try to negotiate with her. Set your rules. If she breaks a serious enough one, like disrespect be willing to walk away. That's HARD to do. But if you respect yourself enough you WILL do it.

Simple as that.

oldslut · 2018-03-18T13:04:29+00:00

ultimatums come from a place of weakness. it is your last card to play. thing is, if you make one, you must carry through with it. sounds like this ltr is now over, and for the best for you. good luck.

4ktx · 2018-03-18T19:11:04+00:00

You care about the opinions of people who you apparently do not care about. Stop contradicting yourself. Calm your hamster and focus on real problems...

hudsonbuddy · 2018-03-18T22:52:00+00:00

Marry a girl, marry her family

WallyHotvedt · 2018-03-19T09:43:40+00:00

so much talking, so little action, so much loss of frame

0kool74 · 2018-03-19T13:58:59+00:00

Is this what this sub has been reduced to? Really??? I mean, I know we've had some shitdicks in here with post and commentary that are deranged and out in left field. But DAYUM........this sub has turned into XXChromosomes on steroids!

runfrompms · 2018-03-17T20:22:14+00:00

I would just be foward with her, sit on this for about three days, and if your feelings about the situation do not change then just move on and start the transition phase.

Basically what anymouse said stands true.

Sir_Distic · 2018-03-17T21:25:57+00:00

This is a new side to her that I've never seen before

Welcome to Behind the Mask, man.

Flee as fast as you can, and never look back — as a song puts it.

In case you (wrongly) consider your tribulations exceptional: no. They are par for the course. Indeed you can make a girl choose you over her family... if that is her choice. She will choose what she chooses, in other words, and there'll be no "uncertainty" and "compromises" and this and that. If you have those things, it's because she doesn't want to leave her family/husband/work/anything.

Even if she chose to leave everything for you, the Cycle of Interest will run its course, and the time of Mask Slippage, where she'll behave with you as the real her (as she behaves with people she has no use for) will still come.

So, yes: Look at they act with people they don't care about/don't have a personal gain from treating decently: that's who they really are, and that's the behaviour they'll default to once the NRE phase is over (or her plans to exploit you are abandoned). "Red flags" are lapses where the Mask slips.

P.S.: You wasted waaaayyyy too long a time on her, and you're lucky she released you.

SoSconed · 2018-03-17T21:41:53+00:00

Have you ever considered the reasoning for her families toxic nature towards you?

-How did you initialise the relationship with them her family? -What was your first impression and on going frame?

-Did you act like a push over? -Were you indirect and failed to speak your mind?

There is most likely an underlying reason for the way things are. Sure with a lot of hard persistent balls to the wall work you could scrape back an ounce of respect from them. But is it worth it?

Nah

PurpleVeteran · 2018-03-18T01:26:34+00:00

So let me get this straight...

Her family has been telling her you're an asshole for a while.
You get insecure about how they talk about you, but...
You don't bother to go to family events to demonstrate otherwise.
You give her an ultimatum, "me or them", and she chose them.

Well, someone clearly dodged a bullet here.

long-lostfriend · 2018-03-17T21:03:29+00:00

Just stopped in to LOL at a guy insisting that he accompany his girl to a baby shower!

TheAC997 · 2018-03-18T03:12:07+00:00

Bad feelings like that are contagious. If your family are like the mini devil sitting on your shoulder and whispering in your ear, you need to get rid of them.

BeeBopJoe · 2018-03-18T04:53:45+00:00

You shouldn't worry too much about other people hating you, I had issues with a girl I was seeing whose family didn't like me and I gave no fucks about it. If her family bothers you then simply don't interact with them, shes not forcing you to be around them so you have no reason to be upset at her.

fro99er · 2018-03-19T06:45:36+00:00

Lets just say wanna be thug is dumb enough to do something. Is she worth drama or worse? You be the judge.

jewishboy12 · 2018-03-19T17:05:33+00:00

Shouldn’t expect a woman to stand up for you ever. They’ll let people talk so much shit unless it’s about them. Gossip and shit talk is in their nature.

OneRedSock · 2018-03-19T17:13:04+00:00

she's not sticking up for me

Of course not. Women take the shape of their container in any setting. At home she should be conforming to your container. However, when her family is talking shit about you, she's -- at worst -- hen-pecking behind your back or, at best, she's just acting neutral. But she certainly is not confronting them about their bullshit.

And of course as women conform to the container, they're taking information from all those other people into account and it's becoming ingrained in her psyche and added to the list of "things that constitute her definition of you".

Honestly, how many times do you see a woman adamant about her position, only to be talked down almost immediately by several other women who gang up against her. It's not hard to change their mind if a group tells them to.

Ultimatums are not an indication of strength; we know this because typically women give ultimatums. They are an attempt to negotiate attraction through obligations. Tit for tat does not result in an enjoyable relationship; one where the woman actively pursues your dick and wants it in her mouth enthusiastically. Duty sex is no better than masturbating. And if she likes hanging with her family, then you're just pissing her off more. What honestly will be the end result other than shit all around?

Too many red flags. Case in point: if her sister is dating a wannabe thug then her family is straight trash. Why dumpster dive when you can find a brand new model -- there's literally billions of them on the planet.

af_007 · 2018-03-19T17:16:46+00:00

If you want her you have to accept her family, if you can't break up!

TinyManufacturer · 2018-03-19T17:49:29+00:00

She can't choose her family but she can absolutely choose how she handles how she interacts with them.

Ask yourself a very important question. Where do you see this relationship going?

You say it's a long term relationship, does that mean you plan on locking it down with her at some point? If you do, do you seriously think a wife should let anyone talk down about her man? Do you seriously think a wife would continue to talk to anyone who talks down about her man after being told not to? Do you think she would be fulfilling her role as wife?

If you have no intentions of locking it down and are just looking for some company/sexual satisfaction to shake off loneliness so you can focus on doing you then I'd say there's no problem. Keep going with how it is until one or both of you gets bored and finds greener pastures.

I don't think I'm wrong in thinking your anger answers the question for you.

Deep down, I think you know what needs to be done.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-03-19T23:22:21+00:00

I have to remind myself that I just lost a bunch of unnecessary drama and headaches.

Big Time.

First, her family is never going to get better.

Second, are you sure that a baby shower is the (metaphorical) hill that you want to die on? In 50 years, I've never been to a baby shower or a wedding shower and I can easily say that I never will.

thechaosz · 2018-03-20T05:39:05+00:00

Auto trailer trash Amirite?

Sajutsu · 2018-03-20T11:08:08+00:00

In this situation OP couldn’t tell her to stop seeing them cause they were her family right? And why can’t ask her why she didn’t stand up for him?

Not being judgemental I’m just wondering if he did that what might have happened

ArticulateSavage · 2018-03-20T11:12:03+00:00

Being married or in a LTR is hard enough without constant attempts to sabotage the relationship. Is this relationship worth it to you? It sounds as though you're trying to control your girl, her family and yourself. Pick one. (hint: it's you)

Rian_Stone · 2018-03-20T13:46:34+00:00

All I could think of what this

The relationship equivalent of changing your facebook picture to a french flag.

your ultimatum was weak btw. the reason her family punks on you is because you let them. You should be thanking her for showing this glaring character flaw in yourself

jeromeantoinecarter · 2018-03-20T15:38:19+00:00

Don't be in a LTR where the woman is close to her family and they have a big influence on her life, especially if they don't love you. They will ALWAYS choose the family over you, no matter what they say to your face. My personal experience.

yummyluckycharms · 2018-03-20T19:07:07+00:00

Dump - plain and simple. A woman who does not defend your interests (ie. your standing with the other family members) isn't worthy of your interest.

FluffDevotee · 2018-03-17T22:26:29+00:00

Why do they hate you anyway? I was once in a similar relationship once so I can relate.

WhyStayInSchool · 2018-03-18T01:13:33+00:00

and I think you chose the wrong time to put your foot down. As stupid as it all is, 'baby showers' in contemporary america are very often women-only (and, even moreso, no unmarried significant others) and she has literally no choice but to go if she wants to have any decent relationship with her family again.

You virtually said: choose me over your family forever or we're through.

another event or even a major holiday would have been a more reasonable choice but the decision was made as soon as you gave the ultimatum (unless it was a pretty atypical baby shower).

ind3lible08 · 2018-03-18T00:10:41+00:00

Nah man, you sound petty af giving your chick an ultimatum. Who cares who talks about you? Are you 12? The worst part about this whole post is that you conclude it as if you’re contributing some wise knowledge to the community when you yourself have a lot to learn. If it bothers you so much, u shouldn’t be with her.. not trying to tell her what to do as if she’s ever going to choose you over her entire family who dislikes you.

En-Zu · 2018-03-17T20:30:24+00:00

Looking at this from another perspective, I wonder what they're saying about you and why?

People don't behave that way for no reason. Are you sure she isn't telling them about episodes of abuse? If she's making that up you have a far more serious problem on your hands and you need to break up with her or her "thug" brother will eventually try to make good on his promise.

If she's not making this stuff up and you are actually abusive then you need to take another, real close look at the side bar and realize that you need to let this person go. If you are invested in a relationship and insecure enough about it to abuse that person then you need to get out of that relationship and seriously work on yourself.

Either way man, the red flags are up. Ignore them at your peril.

Title	Gave my LTR an ultimatum
Author	hennessy610
Upvotes	207
Comments	156
Date	March 17, 2018 8:09 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/856boo/gave_my_ltr_an_ultimatum/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/gave-my-ltr-an-ultimatum.49246 https://theredarchive.com/post/49246

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