33M, 5’8”, fit, visual abs, decent style with help from my ex and female friends. I’ve had solid success in dating before — many relationships from cold approach. All cold approach that led to date, slept with them on the first date and continued dating. In general I’m very confident in dating skills / game.

Currently have 2 on-going stable casuals for the past 4 months and I'm pretty happy with the connection we have and we're open and honest that we both are looking for something causal.
When I was in a foreign country a few weeks back, all dates led to the second-third until I had to leave

All night game led to dates

Dating App Breakdown [ SF ONLY ] :

  • App: Hinge (mostly) bumble seems like a waste of time
  • Dates in last 7 months: ~20+
  • Matches per week 12-15
  • % of women I wasn’t into: ~20%
    • Still some girls are texting me asking to come over
  • % that ended after first date ~70%
    • All feedback has been the usual no romantic connection text, one girl said she didn't like the race of my ex, even though she was that race.
  • % that ended after first date (even with kissing back at my place): ~10%
  • Second dates from Hinge in the 7 months: 0
  • % of women I would consider a LTR with 0%

The very first Hinge date I went on post-relationship actually went great — we slept together on the first night, but she was leaving the country so it didn’t continue.

I’ve tried adjusting my texting, logistics, and date structure. Still, none of my Hinge matches go anywhere, I'm following the same sequence I've been using on cold approach or night game

I'm not here to complain. I genuinely want to figure out what I’m doing wrong so I can improve or pivot my approach.

Some theories I’m exploring:

  • I don’t spike enough tension in the first 10 minutes
  • I come off “too polished”
  • My energy doesn’t transfer well over apps
  • Hinge girls have different expectations than cold approach girls
  • I never escalate unless I feel the vibe is right, many of these women have seem to have no experience dating, some seemed to not want to hold hands until a few dates later ( to me this is wild )
  • I actually didn't find any of the women I met that attractive, my ex had modeled and the girl before that was very attractive
  • I'm not tall enough for the more attractive women

What I’d Love to Hear:

  • Has anyone else experienced this app vs real life mismatch?
  • Do you have any theories on what’s going wrong?
  • What changes actually helped you break through the “first date wall”?
  • Some dates I've done a post date feedback call as I want to learn

Appreciate the insights in advance. Not in a bad headspace — just done wasting time and ready to upgrade. Please be honest as possible, I'm not insecure about my looks or seduction skills but there has to be something I'm missing