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[–]AlmostEasy89 85 points86 points87 points 3 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link
Definitely don't use that line. I'd use some tact here. A big rule of texting is to not fuck it up. That line is fairly corny. That's what dudes want to hear and think, not women.
"Naw I gave that up for lent this year"
Or better yet, you get ahead of it so they can't even put you in that position. It is a common one to hear for anyone. It is not rude at all, you're a fucking internet stranger. Stop looking at shit tests as a personal offense and look at them as a survival mechanism. There are fucking crazy people out there who small women are completely defenseless against. If a guy responds like a psycho to that they can avoid that situation completely by shit testing. If a girl doesn't shit test you ever, I might be actually wary of that person.
"Ok we can meet at x,y,z location.. but just to be sure you're not gonna steal my liver for the black market are you?"
Having a good response is one thing, but flipping the script before they can put that power play on you is a 2+2=7 kind of situation. Your power never even dips there.
[–]reaprofsouls 21 points22 points23 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Instead of posing "just to be sure you're not going to steal my kidneys?" as a question, I prefer to infer it outright.
For example, "Let's meet at "bills bar", it has a relaxed atmosphere and they know me there incase you try any funny business". It asserts more confidence, public acceptance and safety.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]reaprofsouls 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A lot of posts on this subreddit are pretty bad and I was very pleasantly surprised by your comment. Im not well educated on pick up or seduction. I crafted my approach by dating a lot and found it's what worked best for me targeting more serious/educated women.
I think you are 100% right that a more over the top response would definitely work for a fun goofy vibe. Great response.
[–]austinrose7 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
”Naw I gave that up for lent this year" ”Ok we can meet at x,y,z location.. but just to be sure you're not gonna steal my liver for the black market are you?"
”Naw I gave that up for lent this year"
”Ok we can meet at x,y,z location.. but just to be sure you're not gonna steal my liver for the black market are you?"
Do you happen to watch “Playing With Fire” on YouTube? Those are verbatim lines Alex recommends often.
[–]austinrose7 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do you really recommend it? I’m a big fan of Alex’s, really like his libertarian approach to everything (not just game).
[–]Total_Obligation_371 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha that lent line is actually pretty good.
[–]BoofBass[🍰] 34 points35 points36 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That response is fucking 🤮
[–]runaround_fruitcop 71 points72 points73 points 3 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I'm 90% sure they mean it as a joke..... That you may be taking too much to heart
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]runaround_fruitcop 39 points40 points41 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Play along. It's not a shit test. They're nervous and trying to break any tension with a joke. Over exaggerate and say that you're a regular hannibal lector or something
[–]austinrose7 10 points11 points12 points 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Yep, always default to one of two options:
A.) Agree and exaggerate (Hannibal Lector or Ted Bundy’s long-lost son joke in this case, or if you’re attuned to pop-culture, riff off something popular currently that deals with murder like “Where the Crawdads Sing”)
B.) Misinterpretation. You have to be slightly more calibrated for this, but just saying something like, “Woah woah, this is all moving a little too fast for me. Let’s get to know each other a minute first before you start inviting yourself back to my place.”
[–]flexgirl7 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I vote for B
[–]austinrose7 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I like it too, but I like taking risks, generating polarizing responses, and just saying things I find funny or amusing. You’ll often get another shit-test off of misinterpretation, and often a harsher one, like “As if I’d ever go back to your place lol”, or “Trust me, that was the last thing on my mind.”
It’s important to take that as a joke and hold your frame, just say like, “Oh good, glad we’re on the same page. My mom always told me not to go home with strangers so they don’t rob you, so I got scared there for a second”, and not get butthurt and shutdown.
[–]Total_Obligation_371 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah this is important. It's not a s*** test. Just normal tension that sometimes happens in certain social situations. Too many guys interpret completely mundane things as s*** tests.
[–]TASTY_BALLSACK_ 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Lol just say “no, you’re not gonna murder me either right?”
And that’s that.
[–]e_money1392 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"I was gonna ask you the same question"
[–]TASTY_BALLSACK_ 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah just play it off as a joke. Last date I went on we ended up walking down this very dark street and I jokingly made sure she didn’t intend on killing me. OP, just keep it lighthearted. If she had any fear that you were possibly dangerous she wouldn’t ask that, she’d get away
[–]OpBoxx 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Only got this once, and I passed it by saying:
"No I only do that on Thursdays."
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This happened to me on a date recently (she was worried about kidnapping more than murder). I think meeting a girl through cold approach tends to lead to them having understandable concerns about their safety. There’s really not much you can do about it other than do things to make them comfortable (stay in public/populated areas, ask if she’s comfortable with you driving, etc).
[–]pharm4karma 17 points18 points19 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There are times to make edgy sarcasm and times to straight defuse the situation. I'd go with the latter on this one.
Read the room. She's expressing some insecurity about meeting up.
You could try to turn it on them with something like,
"No, why? Do you have any crazy ex-boyfriends I should know about?"
But I wouldn't go much farther than that
[–]Handle-me-timber 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Depends if the police investigations cool down first.
If you go straight for a sexual joke like that you will probably come off as lacking empathy.
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Funny_Extension5610 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not until we’re married and there’s a life insurance policy involved
[–]heyitsmeinhere 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Underrated
[–]Psuedo_Pixie 8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
You seem to understand that this kind of comment comes from a place of anxiety/fear, so why does it strike you as rude? It’s not personal. Almost any woman who is alone with a man she does not know will feel uneasy and vulnerable.
Making a sexual joke in this scenario is…not good. But being funny is fine. I might just turn it around, like, “No, but wait - are you going to murder ME?” Keep it light and build trust.
[–][deleted] 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Psuedo_Pixie 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Women are uneasy around men they don’t know, regardless of race. But if that comment is representative of how you banter with women, I’m not surprised if you’re having some issues.
[–]Snoo-20788 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What they're trying to say is that fearing people because of their sex or their race is f'ing rude.
[–]Psuedo_Pixie 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m with you on race. But the reality is that women should be cautious when they are meeting up with a man they don’t know. Most people are good, but some have bad intentions or will seize an opportunity to take advantage of someone who is physically weaker.
The “you’re not going to murder me, are you?” comment that OP gets from women comes from a place of of anxiety, but is also not to be taken literally. These women are not accusing OP of being a killer, but are asking for reassurance that he is trustworthy. OP is taking this as a slight even though he says he understands where the women are coming from, and I’m not quite sure what that’s about.
[–]inaparalleluniverse1 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Do you normally go that type of guy?”
[–]baddog992 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never had this happen on a date but did have this happen on a one night stand before sex. I was upfront with her friend. She wanted to make sure I wasn't just telling her friend lies. I even showed her my driver's license to prove I was who I said I was. We ended up having sex that night. I didn't take it as a shit test. She was looking out for her friend.
[–]Total_Obligation_371 3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Absolutely do not use that line. This is my go to response, haven't gotten a negative reaction from it yet.
"Well I usually don't kill people till the third date, so you're good for now". Obviously say this in a jokey, lighthearted way. And then the girl either just laughs or continues with the joke and you can riff on that. Typical agree and amplify.
Sometimes they'll be like "oh really?". And I go "yeah first date I start off with some light identity theft. Second date is kidnapping. Then third date is usually the killing part". Just make sure to make it obvious you're joking.
And I've actually had girls continue with the joke after the first date. Like leading up to second date, they'll text something like "so it's the second date, you're supposed to kidnap me right?". And I say something like "yeah I'm actually behind you right now". Every girl gets the joke. You don't need to worry about them taking it seriously and ruining things.
[–]thatoneblacknerd 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
how angry you are + that dogshit response tells me everything i need to know about you 😭
[–]appmanga 11 points12 points13 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Don't take this is an opportunity to be a wiseass. This isn't a "shit test"; it's a semi-serious attempt to judge if she can trust you, and trust is the key.
Simply say "No. You'll never have to worry about that".
[–]Handle-me-timber 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Because if I was it’d be over before you realized it.
Sorry I can’t resist it because this is such an ironic question asked un-ironically. The only true way to respond has to be sarcastic because a killer would certainly assure you they weren’t a killer, and taking it seriously would sew doubt in someone’s mind.
[–]hahahaimsosad 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No. Women ask this question out of a genuine fear for their safety, not as a test. A guy responding sarcastically makes me think I’m less safe around him than a guy who takes me seriously. Sarcastic responses to things like this show that you don’t understand how unsafe meeting people from the internet can be for women.
[–]MarwenJ 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This👆👆
[–]appmanga 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
First things first, "sow" doubt in someone's mind.
Second, as another poster pointed out, women ask this question out of a concern for their safety. While it might seem irrational, there is a seriousness to this question, which is why a guy who's looking to be with a woman who asks this shouldn't be flippant. Being flippant is to not take her concern for her safety seriously. Lots of guys have no idea how vulnerable women feel. The thing to do is reassure her that you're not dangerous and, more important, not "weird" enough to think her question is worthy of derision or sarcasm.
[–]bandsupjay 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fr lol
[–]Kundalini-Electric 4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you get that every date then maybe you need to look at yourself lol
[–]Fate-in-haze 7 points8 points9 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Just say "I haven't decided yet".
[–]cadetgusv 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well what did you have in mind?
[–]me__satan 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Never escalate on a shit test, you can exaggerate on this one or if you feel a little perplexed by the tone of this test, just use the best line "I dont know how to respond to that one, Can we talk normally?"
[–]Snoo-20788 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is one of the best answers. It's not reasonable for a woman to ask such a question. It's like a guy asking: you're not going to lie and report I raped you, right? Coz that's honestly 10x more likely to happen than murder.
[–]hermitnerd1 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I get that sometimes, I think it’s just the girl knowing that it’s a possibility in the back of her head, so I just say I was going to ask you the same thing!
[–]Broad-Ambition-4755 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
let me check my schedule
[–]focus_flow69 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh shit, you foiled my plan.
Don't worry, I'm definitely not going to murder you. I ain't the serial killer type.
[–]Alarming_Ad8005 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Girl: "you're not going to murder me, are you?
Me sharpening machete: "let's see how the night goes." Begs the question of why there's never a third date
[–]Illustrious-Cat7767 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
'No won't, I was just thinking of locking you up in the cellar'
[–]zackit 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
all I had for lunch was red wine, more red wine and Captain Crunch
[–]DrinksAreOnTheHouse 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Depends how annoying you are” lol
[–]generaltso81 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's just way too much effort and the mess is impossible to clean. Do you know how hard it is to bury a body?
[–]Starving_Vampires 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"I would but I forgot my chainsaw at home"
[–]great_account -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Depends if your kidneys are a match"
[–]_LuisFernandez_ -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
not a shit test but it’s simple: the only thing im gonna murder is our date
or your pussy if it’s sexual
[–]jbird32275 -1 points0 points1 point 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No, I'm going to keep you alive. Playful smile
[–]numotsu28 -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"you? No!! Your pussy, definitely!!!"
[–]CocoBabeNYC -2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
None of these are the right answers. If I were you, I'd be extremely offended and tell her. Ask her who does she think you are. Why would she ask you a question like this, that you feel hurt and offended and for her to take it back. You want women apologizing to you. Once they have apologized to you 10 times (for different things), then you've got them for sure.
[–]poly_nerdy_panda 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
send her your ID and just say google me if you want, you can now have a website with all these cool facts about you and fake articles ... lol jk that was on How i met your mother tho lol
[–]LifelesswithLime 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I swear to god i would never. (Send) 45 seconds later Youre not gonna murder me right??
[–]peduxe 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If the shit test is too weird I always act indifferent like I just misheard what was said and switch topic ASAP.
sometimes you don’t have to say nothing, facial expressions will tell all that needs to be said, don’t overcomplicate in giving a response.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
YES
[–]Ddcups 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah just say ‘maybe’ and grin or make a joke of it. I’d she invited you for dinner just say ‘it depends how the spaghetti (or whatever food) turns out.’
[–]opex100 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s sarcasm, you reply back with sarcasm. Maybe go with “yes, if I like you” or “I only kill the boring ones” or “I was gonna ask you the same thing!”
[–]Calamity__Bane 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Haha nah!”
[–]epimpstyle 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I guess Mystery invented this term but you as a man, you must make the difference between a "shit test" and a joke. From my point of view, maybe 99% of "shit tests" are teasing sentences, if you are in that stage where a girl is telling you a shit test, you are on the right path.
BTW.... from my point of view, it is a joke but it looks like you think it is a "shit test", can you realize that it doesn't matter what you answer? I will treat it as a joke but you as a shit test... the conclusion is the same... it doesn't matter (be happy that you are on the right path).
Cool answer, usually there is no bad thought behind such question. They are just playing around if the situation seems suspicious. I wonder why you get this every date :) You probably would like to provide her with some comfort - "Nah, I have more interesting plans in motion".
[–]NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When presented with a shit test or other absurdity from a woman amplify it and make it more absurd.
Note: sounds like you realize this, but for other dudes out there - a woman's greatest fear is being murdered by a man. Appreciate this and do your damndest to make her feel safe and you will be rewarded for your efforts.
"No... I'm already wanted by the law for exposing myself to a blind person...I don't need anymore heat right now!"
[–]Kapi19 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Only if you won't laugh from my jokes or Nah, now it's time for some holiday time or Holy shit, I'm exposed! But let's face it, I gave the performance of lifetime. or Not today. I'm in good mood or You know what? I'll let it slip
I would not play it in direct way, see how waves will align, to my bidding or not. If not, I'll quickly assume if it's worth it, worth challenging or if I really want something more or just wanted a one-shotter phrase or half-shotter phrase. And of course the confidence and right look can buy you everything (with emphasis on "can")
Really go with the flow man. The best responses to shit tests/jokes/provocations/, my best counters were instinctual and when I was relax or/and purposefully a little psycho If you're not felling it, maybe she's not suited for you for that night or some more long-term scenario, depending on your goal.
[–]Mysterious_Context27 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Regardless if they don’t find you attractive no matter what you answer they will think you’re creepy
[–]GLight3 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This one can either be a joke or come from a place of apprehension. I would diffuse by making a joke but then also comforting her after, like "but we can meet up here if you're more comfortable with that."
For God's sake don't make it sexual. You'll either sound like an actual murderer or a 13 year old.
[–]Ruizzus 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I just say I was about to ask you the same thing…then Segway into something about a serial killer documentary
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"lol no"
if she says something like "you sure" just say "yeah I gave up on killing a long time ago" or something like that. I would personally just say that I will murder her and drink her blood to scare her but I hate myself.
[–]SexxyMoeFoe 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Any idea why you get asked this so often? Are you asking women over to your place as a first date? Or maybe suggesting somewhere that you think is fine but can be seen as scary for someone who doesn't know you?
[–]Southofsouth 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“You are not a crazy hoarder cat lady are you?”
[–]GlitteringPause8 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s not really rude (nor is it a test) when it’s a genuine concern for a lot of women. Obviously no guy is going to be like “oh yeah meant to tell you that I’m a murderer” but a woman expressing an actual fear isn’t “rude”. You’re just a dick. Have some empathy.
[–]likelyilllike 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It is not written in my bio that i am hitman...
[–]cucumbersundae 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me murder you…i got low iron miss you could easily take me down /:
[–]literallyou 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just reply "why, are you planning on murdering me?"
Dont think too much, it is not a test. Also dont stress on that section or she will get nervous, just play it cool and change topic
[–]neversleeps212 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That isn’t a shit test because there’s (a). Some actual validity to it and (b). It’s easy enough to dismiss as not being applicable to you.
A shit test would be if you had a group picture in your profile and she said something like, “wow, your friends are really hot.”
[–]RepressedPotential 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I usually just say, “how do I know you aren’t the murderer 🤨”
[–]alxq1 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Say it’s your cooling-off period. All serial killers have one.
But seriously as a woman I’d ask that. If you’re gonna kill me at least lie to me nicely before. Helps with my anxiety.
The only answer to a shit test is to not feed the insecurity or ambivalence.
I've never had women ask me these types of questions, but if one did, I'd just tell her: "you know what forget it, I don't think this is going to work".
[–]kensei_ocelot 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Why? Are guys constantly trying to murder you? You must be annoying as hell"
[–]ftdrain 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I always agree and amplify in a playful tone, works everytime
[–]5_7pickup 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
no i'm just going to sell one of your kidneys
Haha I would laugh at that response- but why are they even asking that?
[–]CombatPunk88 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"No but if that's you're into then I can keep an open mind."
[–]Why_am_I_LikeThis27 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What's a shit test? Beyond stool collection for the ol Labratory.
[–]Delicatestatesmen 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
wow what a weird response
[–]WannaSeeTrustIssues 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Haven't decided yet "
?
That line is cringe as shit. Maybe youre getting that because the girl likes you but you’re too serious.
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