[deleted by user]

Mriconicdev · 2021-10-05T05:25:42+00:00

Dating is fun when you have an abundance mindset and your purpose/your happiness comes before anything else. You need to dive into some Patrice O’ Neal it’ll give you a different perspective on dating and women that will not make you resent them. That’s just the way the world works.

jsbach123 · 2021-10-05T08:28:57+00:00

From your post, it seems you believe the woman is the prize and your job is to convince her to like you. If this is your mindset, you're going to have a hard time dating.

The truth is, if you do a good job cultivating a good personality, live an interesting life and improve your appearance, you'll find women will take some, half or even most of the initiative. I have a girlfriend and during the dating and pre-dating process, she probably did 60% of the work.

Don't ever believe woman won't take initiative. This is 2021. Some are more aggressive than men. If you don't find girls ever take initiative towards you, you have to work on yourself and be better.

froze_gold · 2021-10-05T12:21:34+00:00

Be outcome independent, find abundance, and try to fully digest the true nature of things. That's all you can do. Being angry is counter productive

Calamity__Bane · 2021-10-05T06:35:09+00:00

I felt this way when I treated it more like work. Now it's more like play, and I'm less concerned with getting to the end goal and more concerned with how much I enjoy the process. It's really hard to get bitter if you focus mainly on enjoying each moment and leading things step by step, since the feedback you get is either positive, or being dealt with right away. If I'm not enjoying myself, something is wrong.

3Equilibrium · 2021-10-05T06:45:06+00:00

Because women want the best guys they can get and men want the best women they can get. Women are just playing the game as it is. They didn't create the game. Us men are playing the game as it is. Why get bitter at women, instead men need to work on themselves. I am successful enough at sleeping with average looking women, but I have recently hired a personal trainer every 2 weeks to get me looking less slim and bulk up.

I could have been bitter than most of the women I sleep with are less attractive that me and that I never sleep with HOT women. But instead I focus on improving myself. That mindset took a long time to develop though so understand being bitter.

wallynext · 2021-10-05T12:07:55+00:00

what you are describing it's not true, some girls can be like that, but not the ones I choose, and I put emphasis on the "I" here, because we each are responsible for surrounding ourselves with the type of people we really want to.

You will search for people that validate your beliefs and you will find them. I have some basic requirements/standards that the girls have to have for us to go any further and it's been working out great and it filters a lot of people that I don't want to hang out with. One of those is communication, to be able to express one's self and their feelings in a mature way, and be reciprocate in communicating and putting equal efforts. and let me tell you I have been meeting amazing people.

in the end you are in part responsible for the people you choose to hang out with, be mindful of that, learn to choose better

JakeMullerRE · 2021-10-05T15:09:11+00:00

You got to learn to accept that this is how the world works. I used to be a bit bitter towards women too in my early twenties because of all the reasons you mentioned. However, as I grew older, met more and more girls, had more and more success with dating and created a good life for myself, the more this bitterness and also my ego subsided and the less I was focused on resenting women for having a seemingly much easier time in dating than us men do. Today I no longer give a fuck if a girl is way more successful in dating than me or if she doesn’t need to do much simply because I am on my own purpose now, build myself and generally like myself tol. That’s one of the best places to come from not just in dating but in general and it also makes you way more magnetic because girls love a guy who has his shit at least somewhat together.

I also want to add that you should stop comparing yourself to women as it is toxic to your mental health. Focus on you, create a purpose thats more important to you than women, learn to be authentic and masculine and the success with girls comes faster.

LazyBuhdaBelly · 2021-10-05T09:42:31+00:00

Sure there are women that are hot and attractive enough that they don't need to expend effort in their romantic life to find success, but there are many women that do not have that luxury. They get nervous about dates. They have fears and insecurities. They are embarrassed about their bodies in the bedroom. They complemplate the texts messages they send. Their boyfriends dump them and their hearts break. And it turns out, those attractive "entitled bitches" also share these issues once you get to know them well enough. As the saying goes "no matter how hot a woman is, there is a man out there that is tired of her shit." Doesn't it seem a bit ridiculous to draw upon your experiences with certain women and then judge literally half the population for it?

Another thing to consider is that attractiveness isn't limited to just women. Men can be extremely good-looking too. And as it turns out, attractive people just have it better in life, generally speaking. Yet, you don't seem too concerned that a male model looking motherfucker can walk into any bar/club and leave with a woman, or date whoever they feel like.

A third thing to consider is that you mentioned wanting to get into the dating world but it seems that you already have hangups and complaints before you have even started. Not sure how old you are or how many women you have actually dated, but here's a bit of life advice: the real world is more complicated than movies and this subreddit implies. Don't enter the dating world with a chip on your shoulder. Not every woman you date is playing games or giving "shit tests". Use the knowledge here to help prepare you, but don't go into every situation expecting a battle. Not only is it a disadvantage, but it also affects your mental health.

Speaking of which, at the end of the day, why would you even give a shit about the advantages and disadvantages that exist? How does it benefit you at all to hold bitterness in your heart? Why should you, a man, be sad that some random chick has 100 matches and you only have 10? What do you gain from ruminating on the male vs female constructs that exist in our society (which btw, men are basically responsible for creating the first place)?

I know you dislike the notion of having to read a book to see success, but I sincerely recommend Models by Mark Manson. I believe it gives a good perspective on the differences between men and women and also lays a foundation for modern dating.

_JasonX_ · 2021-10-05T08:17:15+00:00

I’m glad that someone on this sub mentioned this.

This is a genuinely good question and the “sigma” gorilla brain males of this sub don’t comprehend that your hope and spirit to find a cute girl dies when you constantly keep getting rejected on what seems to be an impossible uphill battle.

The reality is, the average girl is now connected to the top 10% of men through dating apps. This has never happened to our species before and it’s made it impossible for a genuine regular guy to find a potential wife.

For us to even be on the top 10% of men, we have to meet a million standards but in the end it doesn’t really seem worth it if you’re not getting the exact result you want like finding a dime or finding a genuinely good match.

What has worked for me is to find something that you care about more than girls, excel at it, and girls will go to you. Maybe not the Instagram models you want but more than before. Also work on having a higher status social group. A girl cannot be attracted to you if you hangout with losers. I know this is not easy tho. How tf is a young man supposed to find career driven men his age if 90% of people in general are not like that.

I’m the end, find out what you care about more than girls and that path will lead you to a higher state of mind where girls will want to find you. But if you honestly can’t wait to go through this hero’s journey to wait for pussy, go abroad. Mexico has a bunch of pretty girls who will be happy to talk to you and boost your confidence. They are way prettier and waaayyy more feminine. Good luck dude, don’t give up.

2021-10-05T12:57:54+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AelfredRex · 2021-10-05T12:58:30+00:00

Sounds like you're dating the wrong women. Stop going by how hot they are to you and look for personality compatibility. If she's boring, she's boring. It's not up to you to make her exciting. You just don't mesh.

Kareem_W · 2021-10-05T14:20:07+00:00

It’s all about optimism, this year I’ve been burnt by a shawty, another one told me that she wanted me to fuck her so bad but she was in a whole relationship lying about it and sleeping with a handful of people. The other day I met up with this thick white girl, and found her only fans on Twitter 😂😂! But all in all women out here hold something between their legs and on their chest that keeps bringing me back.

ruser_void · 2021-10-05T14:59:20+00:00

Careful there. Sounds like you're edging close to black pill.

It's best to enjoy the game if you're going to play. If you don't adore women then you probably shouldn't be a player.

Check out the mystery method. I think it's considered a bit old now but it's still interesting.

Andress1 · 2021-10-05T15:13:30+00:00

Being a man has good things and bad things,as well as being a woman has them too. You are only focusing on dating. Yes women have it 20 times easier,but also have a very weak body and periods every month why are exhausting. Women also live with more fear because men want sex with them and if they want to they can get it. Also women don't like most men and have to reject most of them.

These are only a few bad things about being a woman,but if we take everything im not that resentful or jealous since they also have very big problems.

Delicious_Ad_1853 · 2021-10-05T11:56:25+00:00

Meanwhile the girl can just sit there and be pretty and still find success.

There are a lot of beautiful women that are VERY unhappy with their love lives.

Dating is hard for women too. It's just a different kind of hard that fails in a different way.

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2021-10-05T07:55:04+00:00

Well, it's important to keep things in perspective. Yes, it's easier for women to end up in a sexual relationship, but they also have to be more selective than men because they have to worry that the guy they go out with it going to rape and/or murder them (to say nothing of the risk of an unwanted pregnancy). We have rejection to fear, while women fear a man that can't handle rejection. Given the choice between being rejected by a woman and being stabbed by a man, I'll take my chances at being rejected.

Looking at your post and comment history, and you seem to be someone who needs a lot more than a date. You need friendships and a sense of meaning to connect you to this world. I'm guessing your politics lean somewhat left since you posted about Vaush, so look into joining a mutual aid group. You'll be able to meet people, form friendships, and have a sense of purpose.

sneakyjager · 2021-10-05T08:10:07+00:00

Sure I'm bitter, I will never marry anyone

cannibalstreudel · 2021-10-05T12:18:30+00:00

I can imagine dating seems super exhausting when you're working on your "game."

You feel like you have to be "on" all the time, and if you fuck up, your girl will find a better guy.

Ugh so demoralizing!

And I don't blame you for thinking this way. Most guys, after they're disillusioned with the "just be yourself and girls will love you!" mindset flip and feel like they have to be on their game all the time or girls won't like them.

This, like the "just be yourself" advice, is partially accurate but not the full picture.

The way you have fun while dating is to just have fun.

When you're with your guy friends, do you feel you have to be "on" or they'll find better friends?

Sure the dynamics are different within a monogamous relationship, or even an open one. Your friend can have other friends too and it won't take away from your friendship, while if your girlfriend dates another guy, that's cheating.

So it's not a perfect analogy... but still. Do you feel you have to be "on" for your friend to stay your friend?

With girls - especially a casual relationship, it should be the same except you add in sex.

This takes a while to get to... essentially you've gotta do the hard work of working on your emotions. Feeling like you're valuable enough. Thankfully a lot of us on this sub have done that ourselves and can spare you some of the work.

"6 Pillars of Self Esteem" is an amazing book for this!

When you work on yourself, your body, your fitness, feel attractive, and have high self worth you'll naturally not care if a particular girl ghosts you. You just think "fuck her, she's a bitch. I'll go find girls who treat me right." and you go have fun hitting on other girls.

It's simple, but it's definitely not easy. The good news is that it's like a hill... after the hard work of getting up, it's easy to stay that way.

Riioseco · 2021-10-05T13:35:30+00:00

Dating should be fun. It won’t always be, but as you date you will find your style and even more important you will start dating girls that you like and like you just by the way you are. Starting isn’t easy at all, you will find bitches along the way but you will find girls like you who also want to have a good time. It seems like a cliche but there are just 2 things you should have in mind, be yourself and don’t be an asshole.

Paltenburg · 2021-10-05T13:48:42+00:00

We have to do everything in dating, from approaching, flirting, escalating, keeping good conversation

By all means, if you don't enjoy doing these things, then it's not for you! (I don't like to pay either, but for a few drinks it's okay and I don't take someone out on diner for the 1st date).

Ironic_Resting_Face · 2021-10-05T15:29:16+00:00

Oh wow. Then perhaps you need to switch up which type of woman you are dating.

Idk how hot I am but have been told plenty. I prepare for dates, really try to put my best foot forward, I can pay for my part, make jokes, listen, laugh, share stories.

Rarely I meet these men that work so hard for dates, and only real desperate men bend over backwards for women that are acting like they are not attracted to you.

I see all my dates and a chance to get to know a new person. Lowering the expectations of the outcome would probably make you less bitter. I don’t expect to meet the man of my dreams. I would love to and I’m sure I will find love again.

agaren · 2021-10-05T15:36:15+00:00

I don’t put women up on a pedestal. Anyone I date needs to reciprocate my efforts. If I’m putting all the effort into everything I will just stop doing it. If the girl likes me enough she’ll come back but they rarely do. It’s standard for the man to approach and pay for the first date, but after that if she’s truly into you she needs to put effort in. You are the prize, not her. If you guys sleep together she got lucky, not you. Keep that mindset and you’ll feel confident in yourself!

dobbs1997 · 2021-10-05T16:11:43+00:00

why do you even care ? for real, so many men have these same issues like “why do women not have to do this or do that, they just get to sit and look pretty”, wtf no they don’t. you can put women to work, you can put the women you meet through a screening process to see if YOU, yes YOU like them, it doesn’t always have to be the other way around..you’re making it too much about the woman, just go out there, start interacting with women & enjoy the process and the growth that you’re gonna experience just from simply talking to them & along the way you’ll have some good experiences. dating is fun but you have to have the right mindset and yours is extremely serious, almost like you’re applying for a job or something, nah man, go out there & fail, succeed, learn, grow..but first you gotta change the mindset, focus on what you want from women & go get it, have some standards too for these women you meet. they will just sit there and be pretty if YOU let them…also, you don’t gotta pay for shit lmao what are you talking about.

18Mandrake_R00T5 · 2021-10-05T16:33:17+00:00

The same way women don't. We're all dicks and pussies looking for a warm place to put ourselves

vazark · 2021-10-05T18:54:35+00:00

Dude. Go change your preferences on any OLD to men. Try creating a personal connection. You’ll appreciate the women’s perspective better.

Dating is supposed to be you having fun. The girl isn’t the goal, it’s you having fun and taking her for the ride. You can find more about dating in general in this video essay.

DylanFiglewicz · 2021-10-05T19:08:38+00:00

I like to just keep my faith in God. There is divinity in every individual. You just gotta find it inside and in others regardless of gender. Because at the end of the day gender shouldn't matter and it goes bith ways. I understand you feel like it is easy but idk very many women that have found the right guy or the attentionspan now to follow it through to the end. Going through dudes or ladies doesn't really help if you are looking for love.

spicy_simba · 2021-10-05T21:01:40+00:00

Hey there buddy,

Your posts is charged with assumptions of what dating should be, what is expected and what is expected of you.

I am here to tell you that any activity you start in life can be perceived very differently depending on what kind of pre assumptions you go with about it

Example: I had assumption all my life that learning to bike is painful, that my knees will bleed and I will fall, this resulted in life long anxiety and not willing to be around bike discussions let alone invitation to learn how to bike. I genuinely thought I was born not to bike or enjoy biking.

Recently I decided to challenge my life assumptions by learning how to bike without thinking of what could happen, but rather saying "Lt me try and see what happens" just doing it and accepting all what could come, even I don't control it and trusting I will be safe, well little did I know, biking is now my hobby, and I did not fall while learning.

You probably have a lot of assumptions about dating injected in you, but these are not necessarily your thoughts and not necessarily valid thoughts.

You can be yourself while dating and I argue you should, you don't have to impress anyone, in fact dating can be perceived as "let me try and see what happens"

For me dating is about finding out if you match with a person or not, it's not about someone being better than another, it's rather about discovering if 2 people resonate with each other. In life everyone has specificities that makes him resonate with some people and not others, so it makes sense that with some people it will not work and that's okey, that's natural filtering.

My aim when dating is to have a good time, not to impress and not to be someone am not, and if it's not going well then it will make a fun story to tell my friends or at a comedy show.

I feel some people including me put dating on a pedestal as if it is the ultimate test of human value,

Its not, dating is like any other activity, like going for a walk, sometimes the weather is nice and you enjoy the walk, sometimes it's rainy so you get a bit wet and look forward to a warm bath at home, and one day you might see a rainbow. But in all cases you go home at the end, and it does not matter much in the course of a whole day,

Think-Rope-6706 · 2021-10-05T21:39:44+00:00

Best thing to do right now is to just cut yourself off from dating and focus on what you want to do. The juice ain’t worth the squeeze at the best of times and if you’re feeling like this I’ve no doubt it’s literally going to destroy most chances you have. I know because I’m literally in the same mindset as yourself LoL. I’m trying to dig out of it by gyming it and doing Muay Thai

Edit; avoid this sub, advice is good at times but reading half this shit really impacts you mentally

Available_Session770 · 2021-10-05T22:11:41+00:00

Not true. Find a woman who doesn’t have old school ideals like that. I pay my own and I hold my own. Or date a man since you seem to have something against women lol

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-05T08:34:18+00:00

What you say is true only for the top 20% of women who are young enough and good looking enough. Same is relatively true for the top 20% guys although they seem to be doing a lot better in the sex department. The sad reality is that you don't even notice 80% of women who are too old, fat or unattractive to even register on your mind. They simply do not exist for the majority of men.

The final thought is this. Women have only as much power as men give them. All that power you think pretty women have is just a bunch of men kissing their ass. They can easily take it away but they don't.

Narcan9 · 2021-10-05T07:37:45+00:00

The dating aspect doesn't bother me so much. I'm more bitter how women can glide through life just by being pretty. Seeing tick tocks when a guy does triple backflips and gets only a few hundred likes. Then a woman just does some stupid little dance and gets thousands of votes. Or seeing someone be a YouTube Star who rakes in tens of thousands a month just because she can put on makeup.

Men need real proficiency to succeed in a career. Women can just smile and have opportunities handed to them, that's if they even have to work at all.

I work hard for things in life. That's why I have zero tolerance for princesses or women with an attitude. It's a quick next, and onto someone with some heart and humility. Learning to quickly drop trash women is a skill that most young guys need to develop.

appmanga · 2021-10-05T12:47:30+00:00

And what's there to like about a bunch of entitled bitches who think they're better than you and demand you to meet a bunch of standards they don't hold for themselves.

Should I be bitter at the Mets because I wasn't good enough to be their centerfielder? Should I be bitter at Harvard Law because my LSATs weren't high enough? Should I be angry at whatever for being born too soon/too late?

No. Being angry about those things is irrational because, like me, they either make choices they feel are best for them, or it's something totally out of my control. You sound like women are the enemy, and that's part of the problem. Some people in life have advantages; that's the reality, and being bitter doesn't change that. A good life isn't based on having a transactional frame of mind.

I hope others have given you some viable and positive advice. I can see why a woman of any substance wouldn't give you the time of day. And you call them "entitled".

accrescent · 2021-10-05T06:07:10+00:00

I know what you mean! I won't go into the multiple things I find disturbing about what seems like a deteriorating dating environment. I just wish these events I joined and the places I go to meet women were actually fun. The repetitive dinky hikes, the blaring clubs sat uncomfortably at a bar, etc. are a bane. And while my interest-club meetings are highly social & interesting the women aren't there. At least with the gym I can rationalize that as strengthening my back, etc. Otherwise, it's a lot of boring wheelspinning.

Musician-Round · 2021-10-05T16:38:06+00:00

I have dedicated a majority of my adult life to focus on myself and work to develop myself instead of playing that game and it usually rewards me with interesting women coming into my life. It might sound like old and cheesy advice but just being yourself and focusing on bettering yourself is one of the best ways to attract quality individuals.

No hate on the people that dedicate their lives to playing the game, but in my personal experience, people that do that are just doing it to fill a huge void in their lives. For example, I had a friend at one time who lived his life soaked in puddles of woman juice but deep down they were deeply insecure, they couldn't take any kind of personal criticism and were such a manchild that they had to be the absolute center of attention for everything. The type that always has to outdo the other males in the room to keep on receiving attention and maintain that aura of being the most desirable.

I can't say I pumped out the numbers that guy did. But in my personal experience, I have wound up moving across the country with affluent women and had adventures, and enjoyed plenty of experiences that I otherwise wouldn't have really had an opportunity to. We're talking about women that come from affluent families who have taken me along on their adventures because they enjoyed the company that much.

After living through those kinds of experiences, I find the girls that you described pretty bland and boring. If the majority of her conversation revolves around the words um, yeah, like, I lose interest fairly quickly and just keep it moving. It's one thing to be lured in with a skin-tight dress, but its quite another to be seduced by someone who views that dress as nothing more than a tool.

Different strokes for different folks.

IamNastyJ · 2021-10-05T18:23:39+00:00

Dating is fun when you actually connect with someone, have engaging conversations and eventually passionate sex. You’re post makes you sound like a major piece of shit and 99.9% of women would run for the hills if they saw this. Try objectifying women less. They’re people that you connect with the same way you connect with your male friends.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-10-05T18:32:50+00:00

Because it’s fun for me. I like flirting, escalating, building sexual tension, and going on dates with her and having sex. Why? Because i like women and the game.

Girls have it easy to find sex? Sure.

But not necessarily finding long commutes relationships with the most attractive guys who have abundance.

And also women have it worst if they get pregnant, since the guy can just walk away easy from any responsibility, girls however are stuck. Overall it all comes down to stop seeing dating as something you are owed, which is the real problem here. You think that you are owed sex and dates easy just for existing and complain when you dont have those but the girls do.

As if that’s a girls problem and not the other guys who don’t have any standards and put those girls in pedestals.

Girls as you said don’t have to do anything therefore it’s guys who are doing it, how’s that the girls fault? If guys started imitating girls behaviour and being more picky then girls wouldn’t have it so easy and would certainly need to work harder.

So stop thinking you are owed something from girls, you are not. You are entitled to nothing. you are not owed sex or love from any girl, neither are they, but it’s not their fault that guys are fine with girls just being pretty and that’s it

2021-10-05T20:33:30+00:00

Don’t pay for anything more than a drink or coffee, a drink or coffee offered to a girl on date cool. DONT pay for dinner, cinema or anything else. Split the Bill , go Dutch.

Anguishboy · 2021-10-05T14:15:42+00:00

I really relate to this post man. I used go be an average looking chubby guy.. Now i'm model material, I have worked my ass off in the gym, become better physically and mentally. People ask me all the time if I'm a model, people assume I get laid 24/7. Truth is, although I'm now hot, I dont really have much success infact if anything it's actually harder because women are intimidated. It always requires effort. Being the prize, abundance mindset, none of this does anything unless I put in effort. On the other hand, women can just exist, dont have to have done all that self improvement, blood sweat tears and hard work and get 10x my success even if I did approach. Cant help but feel a little salty about it. Trying to focus on what I can control so i'm trying to get better but this always fucks with my mind... Idk if I've just been unlucky but the effort I need to put in is just simply not worth the prize.

Fragmented79 · 2021-10-05T11:27:28+00:00

I’m like OP. I’m new to game and attended a Bootcamp last month and am struggling just to get a conversation going. In my younger years, I certainly did resent women, but now realize they are not to blame for the current state of dating culture. It is as you say OP - all a woman has to do is exist because most men she encounters make it too easy for her and the average (overweight) woman will always have more options that a 6’ tall jacked millionaire - it sucks and is unfair, but it just is. And yes, looks help game ALOT! But the good news is that women can be turned on by how you make her feel. And like others have said, you need to adopt an abundance mindset.

truthbomb999 · 2021-10-05T13:34:58+00:00

How do you guys not get bitter towards women?

I go to other countries, states, or social circles. I also got into swinging when I was like 23 and never looked back to the traditional dating scene....fuck that...actually I did look back and laughed my ass off...

I also worked hard at my career, made money, and worked hard at my fitness and I'm attractive to a wide selection of women.

How the fuck do any of you enjoy dating? Are you in it just for the sex?

I don't enjoy dating unless it's with compatible people. Sex comes first, then dating for me.

Ryaan200 · 2021-10-05T15:39:57+00:00

Bruh Fr

anon_enuf · 2021-10-05T15:52:53+00:00

In today's society, it's safe to say 99% of the attractive woman have been corrupted by social & mass media. Toxic af.
Look for attractive personality traits. She may not be a 10 for looks, but she will be loyal & good to you. Hopefully. Good luck.

devnasty009 · 2021-10-05T18:49:03+00:00

Men scale with age. All things in balance.

Appropriate_Ad3327 · 2021-10-05T09:24:54+00:00

How tall are you?

5_7pickup · 2021-10-05T09:23:35+00:00

Its fun. Refer to my field reports.

inspector_incapablo · 2021-10-05T11:36:49+00:00

You have to turn the tables. Make them believe you are the prize. Once you've got them you have to make sure they don't want to lose you, ever. And then you can raise them to higher (normal) standards.

You could also go for normal women. A lot of my female friends would (at least) offer to pay, put in effort and other things.

squatch1601 · 2021-10-05T13:06:07+00:00

As a man you are expected to approach and escalate. On the flip side it is better because we have control the control, you can approach who you want, as opposed to waiting for the other person to approach (although it's obviously ok for the girl to approach too). Same with escalation, you can escalate when you want instead of waiting forever for the other person to do it. Also sometimes girls do escalate, like backing up on you while dancing at a party or in a club, or bringing up sexual topics in conversation.

Paying is a cultural thing and I know a lot of girls who are willing to split or get the next one. If you feel like you are being used for money, just walk away.

Keeping the conversation going and flirting is something both are supposed to do, if she isn't it's not going to work anyway (unless she is shy and needs to be made comfortable first, once you get her comfortable it should be both flirting and keeping convo going).

After the approach though it's the same for both: be attractive and not have a shit personality.

Some people are in it just for sex but they "date" and of course they get frustrated because they are spending time with someone with shit personality.

Some people date for the sake of dating and get frustrated because they are dating someone who may have a shit personality and also they are not attracted.

Basically dating is supposed to be fun when with someone attractive and a good personality (both are subjective obviously), if those conditions are not met you get bitter.

Tldr: have standards

PuroPincheGains · 2021-10-05T15:52:54+00:00

I don't pay for shit, I dont ask anyone to go steady, and in the end I'm not owed anything by anyone else. That's fine since my happiness doesn't hinge on women's approval. So what is there to really be bitter about?

External_Lifeguard49 · 2021-10-05T16:43:00+00:00

Don’t take dating seriously, every relationship comes to an end.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-10-05T18:40:33+00:00

Just date and do what you want/what you're comfortable with. You don't have to live up to anyone's expectations. You're not there to please them. You're there to have a good time and enjoy each other's company. If you can't do that because they expect more out of you, then move on and look for someone who is fine with who you are.

BradleyX · 2021-10-05T20:11:16+00:00

It’s never fun if you’re with the wrong people. It’s usually fun when with the right people. Find your people. Find people who actually like you and you’ll be rewarded. It may mean meeting tons of people and so becoming gregarious.

Fragmented79 · 2021-10-05T20:52:24+00:00

I’ll add another thing - pickup is 80% inner game (I.e. confidence) and 20% outer game. All confidence is is having your self worth not being dependent on other people’s acceptance or rejection of you. As Tyrion said early on to Jon Snow, you own being a bastard (insecurity) and make it your shield - then they can never hurt you with it. The outer game is like others have said: having fun, being socially free (not giving a fuck), and being an energy giver (raising state). I know it’s hard man, it still is for me - I’m 42, 5’8, and balding - I’m not getting any younger, so I’ve resolved myself to just fucking try. Otherwise I’m living life as a dead man who doesn’t know he’s dead yet.

prettydirtyboy · 2021-10-05T22:25:35+00:00

If you think you’re gonna be bitter then that’s just sad. You don’t even trust yourself to operate accordingly. Plus you don’t get mad at a dog for shitting on the ground, why cause it’s in the dog’s nature, same way you don’t get bitter at women for acting the way we already know they are gonna act. If you’re still gonna get bitter after having the right knowledge then that’s just a weakness in yourself

Emmanueldel124 · 2021-10-05T23:59:34+00:00

I totally agree it’s unfair, and that why you got to turn the tables. You got to go in with the mindset of ( she has to prove that she is worthy to be with me) if you ingrain this in your head you automatically become a man with high value as you are not trying to prove shit but make her prove it , and every time you meet /date/go up to a woman she will naturally sense this (THS IS AN IMPORTANT TIP, the ones that like you/ have high interest, will start to try and prove them self to you in various forms and the ones that don’t won’t even bother/won’t give you the time of day/ won’t give a damn. This makes your life now 10x easier cause now you are only dealing with chicks that like you and now you no longer got to second guess/ go through the trouble of “getting a girl to like you”) . With this mindset the power dynamic automatically switches in your favour as you now can call the cards you want.

This is also part of the reason why fuckboys, players,chads and Tyrone’s, can treat a women Like shit and the girl still falls and comes back because she is always subconsciously trying prove herself to him thus always keeping the power dynamic correct and making her keep chase his validation

And another thing , (ALWAYS DO THINGS THAT “YOU“ WANT , AND GO TO PLACE THAT “YOU” WANT TO GO WHEN IT COMES TO DATES ,NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND) this ensures that you have the most amount of FUN as you are going to to do things that YOU wanna do and plus it makes you seem more attractive because women like men that can lead and be dominant/be in control , plus it also reinforces her trying to prove herself to you as most guys do the opposites and do things the women want and not them and thus making you way more interesting and instantly setting you apart from other men.

And quick tip( : don’t do dinner dates, shits boring. do something that can get the emotions and or the body going like hiking , gym workout, bowling,etc this will also help you break that touch barrier and then sexual barrier much faster, than sitting down across from each other eating and talking about shit that you got to pretend to give a fuck about and being somewhere you don’t even want to be and at the end having to pay for all of it and wishing ,praying and thinking about the next move to break that barrier ...

But it all comes back to the mindset ( she got to prove herself to me) change that, and your interactions and experiences with women will change too

Now go and have some fun brother, peace.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	87
Comments	133
Date	October 5, 2021 5:22 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/q1o5k0/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1274940 https://theredarchive.com/post/1274940

Comments