[deleted by user]

AelfredRex · 2021-09-15T21:41:19+00:00

19? Your adult life has just started. Get a decent job, your own place, don't be a jerk to the ladies and you're bound to do alright romantically.

jayserve · 2021-09-16T00:05:55+00:00

Jesus Christ of course there’s hope. Do you know how much you could change in 6 months? 12? 24? In 2 years you’d only be 21. That’s more than enough time to workout to look good, develop a personality, develop your social skills , etc… my guy, if you just stay focused, I promise you can achieve all of that and more

donnybdonnyb · 2021-09-15T23:46:43+00:00

Bro 6”3 and black?? If you lose weight and build muscle you basically can’t have a more desired look among women. Black women in particular

gangweedsavedme · 2021-09-15T22:24:43+00:00

The best advice I can give you is to go out to places where socializing is the side effect, try learn, step out of your comfort zone every day, over time you’ll gain confidence and know how.

jarviez · 2021-09-15T22:33:09+00:00

Start counting calaries man.

Get a digital kitchen scale and start weighing all your food.

Get a calarie counting app on your phone, set a calarie "budget" and log EVERY damn thing you eat.

Loose the weight for yourself and your heath, if nothing else.

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-09-15T22:37:56+00:00

Others have spoken if except use or diet, which is great advice. For mindset, Suggest you go to you tube and search for Patrice O'Neal, the American stand-up comedian, and listen to everything he ever spoke. He was a not so handsome, overweight black man who apparently did very well with women.

tnpersona · 2021-09-15T22:06:12+00:00

A few things that should happens

Work on your confidence. This can be done in many ways. Personally, I got into style and fragrances. Sometimes a change in attire is that boost you need. Check out my bio if interested in learning more about the topic.
Start working-out. Find something you enjoy doing. Like with me, I have two fitness games on the Nintendo Switch and I go on long walks. As part of that try being a bit more aware of what you eat. You don’t have to go overboard with it though.
Find your passion. Whether it’s designing websites or writing a blog. Find something your really good at and enjoy. That way you won’t feel down from not getting dates. To answer your question, there’s a ton of hope for you. I didn’t really break out of my shell until I was 22, and since then I have been learning through mistakes. Right now, I wouldn’t worry about girls. Just focus on you. You’re the man, and soon everyone will see that 😎

conker1264 · 2021-09-15T23:42:20+00:00

I lost mine at 20, my first kiss wasn't even until I was 19. You're fine.

totallychillside · 2021-09-16T00:07:48+00:00

first things first, you gotta fix your biochemistry. start supplementing with zinc and vitamins b6, c, and d. that should lower your everyday anxiety. of course, the rest isn’t a quick fix. keep things simple, find 3 skills- one that makes money, one that makes you sweat, and one that stimulates creativity. move out of your parents home. THEN last but not least, walk up to a girl and say “hey this is random but you’re really cute, im ________” do that every day for a month

File-Complex · 2021-09-15T23:03:51+00:00

Put your African genetics to good use. Hit the gym and take care of yourself, you’ll get jacked in a year

mrcloso · 2021-09-15T23:23:51+00:00

Can't Hurt Me, by David Goggins.

2021-09-16T00:05:52+00:00

don't focus on that too much. enjoy your life man

hangovernut · 2021-09-16T02:41:14+00:00

I’m 25m virgin. Still haven’t lost hope. But at your age, I was feeling shitty like you too.

I’m 5’5, Indian, was really fat, and had no interesting things going on in my life since I was always watching porn and wallowing in self pity.

Now, I lost 20kgs, have quite an interesting life and been on a few dates. Still have my virginity but I’m working to improve myself. Maybe I will lose it soon.

TheRealCatch · 2021-09-15T21:40:14+00:00

I’m on the same boat, man. Girls seem to only ever like fit guys who exercise so I’ve been trying to get into that, but it’s hard. Or good looking guys like we can control our genetic looks. Try playing hard to get like you don’t care about her. And be funny.

AverageMug · 2021-09-16T00:53:59+00:00

Dude when I was 19 I hadn’t even ever had a bj, and now I like to think I’m doing pretty well. The main change was how I viewed myself. If you want people to like you, you need to like yourself. So my advice is work on yourself to be the person you want to be. The big change for me was that I started perusing what I wanted to do and stopped perusing what I thought was expected of me

useles-converter-bot · 2021-09-16T01:22:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ARGUS_99 · 2021-09-16T06:18:53+00:00

The most I have ever gotten are some bjs from a girl who was a grade above me in school.

Youre already ahead of most men at that age

i wouldnt worry too much, if you improve yourself im sure your time will come

marygboo · 2021-09-15T23:22:01+00:00

You’re 19, there’s plenty of time left. Also, there’s definitely a market for big guys.

Every body type has people who talk shit about them, so don’t let it take away from your worth. Just because you’ve had people make comments about the way you look in a negative way doesn’t mean that it’s the opinion of everyone who sees you.

oakstar1day · 2021-09-16T02:23:12+00:00

Hey there. I’m really sorry to hear about your experiences. People can be really brutal and hurtful. Those hurtful words never come from a place of happiness, security, or true confidence. Just remember that. My advice would be to first allow yourself to grieve those bad past experiences, then to also allow yourself to let them go and to realize you are not bound to or defined by those experiences. They are hurtful, but they are not defining and true of you. YOU decide who YOU are. Nobody else. Period. It’s okay to live with your parents, that’s smart to do as a college student and don’t let that be a mental block for you. I know you probably think no girl has ever liked you, but we don’t know who has and hasn’t liked us. That mentality is bringing you down, even if you feel you need to lose weight or change certain things that does not make you unlikable. It makes you human. You sounds like you have a lot of things going for you- height, intelligence, working towards a future, saving money, parents that are willing to support you with a place to stay, etc. Just because you have not received interest from women in the past does not have to decide whether you will in the future. You are transitioning Into a new part of your life and it’s a clean slate if you allow it to be one and start fresh. Begin doing things that make you feel confident and build that foundation for you. If you’d like to lose weight, start researching and making a true effort to believe in yourself and make that happen. Avoid using these negative labels that others have tried to put on you. Think of yourself the way you would like to be seen and respected as. Do not fear for being alone, fear holds you back and closes you off from so many opportunities, including those for relationships. There is more than hope. There is beyond hope for you. Cherish the years you have ahead of you and prepare yourself to create a life that you’d love, starting with you. Maybe take some time to write down a plan, just some things you’d like to accomplish in the next 5-10 years and see what happens. See where your mind goes. You can do this! I would love to see an update months from now of you doing well. I hope you can believe in yourself and make it happen. Best of luck, coming from someone that felt like giving up years ago 🙂

CandleLess · 2021-09-16T03:59:58+00:00

Real talk dude, as someone who's 6'2 and pretty average looking, if you get in shape, you're going to be just fine. I didn't lose my V card until 18 so I feel you. How much do you weigh now?

ken_black · 2021-09-16T06:39:45+00:00

First you gotta lose the negative self pitying attitude 🤷🏻‍♂️

Void_Being · 2021-09-15T23:32:50+00:00

Hope is not real, just move forward step by step that is all matters.

You already have some ideas on what you can work currently. It's just how badly you want proportional to amount of efforts you put into.

KingoftheNorth412 · 2021-09-16T00:22:43+00:00

Go to the gym

ImmortallTear · 2021-09-16T00:51:46+00:00

Start running and fasting

SebastianPatel · 2021-09-16T00:57:58+00:00

I would say just focus on improving yourself always regardless if its about women or not. You want to lose the weight for your own health. As for women, attraction is usually not all about looks for them as much as it is for guys. Women like personality, style, intelligence, presence, and a lot of things. Just always have the forever improvement mindset and the girls will come on their own. You are only 19 so you will have plenty of opportunities if you just focus on your own personal growth and not on any one person's immature comments (which are common at that age).

SilentButDeadly23 · 2021-09-16T01:03:54+00:00

I lost my v-card at 20 and have been have been doing alright since. You'll be okay my friend!

baijones1 · 2021-09-16T01:29:11+00:00

I fully subscribe to the look good, feel good method. People enjoy seeing someone cares for their health and body. This is not to say there is not someone for everyone. But when you feel good about yourself you carry yourself differently, confidence is noticeable. Do, or work on things that make you feel confident in both your body and personality and you will attract the right person.

Also you’re 19, you have so much time!

2021-09-16T01:32:13+00:00

cmplgnt · 2021-09-16T01:39:21+00:00

I imagine you’ve developed some habits that you may not like about yourself (just like everyone else). Focus on 2, and try to break them. Once you do this you will gain a bit of confidence. After that it will be easier to get yourself to create more healthy habits such as working out, eating better, better sleep, etc.

Interesting_You_6832 · 2021-09-16T01:39:28+00:00

Leave the house and start doing things you love and maybe you’ll find a girl to bone lol but staying inside and being non social shall never get you laid, my tip is don’t go on dating apps them bins been ran through or crazy or both. Just legit do things you love in your community and find chicks that way I don’t worry about girls no more tho tbh boned around 10 and that’s good for me invested in a pocket pussy lmfao and I just worry about improving myself and when I am straight got my body in shape and life figured out my woman will come.

Lust9897 · 2021-09-16T02:05:41+00:00

I was 22 when I lost my virginity. Not a skinny person. Trust me, there’s hope.

AstronautMaleficent9 · 2021-09-16T02:09:44+00:00

Sweetie, you are 19 years old. You have time to get yourself in a position where you can feel good about yourself. Don’t look for validation. I know we need it because it feels good but look for that within you. There is hope, you need to work for it. I’m positive you’re a beautiful person, don’t let the negative thoughts get to you. Ex: I felt ugly one day; the next day I do my hair. You got this, you’ll get laid. -(F26)

krispykreme01 · 2021-09-16T02:11:20+00:00

Get with a sick tight crew and go all out.

Ok so males 18-21 are the most useless people in the United States that’s why we go too war. We are broke in college trying to find and build ourselves it’s a process. Women will be with older men at this point it’s tuff but that’s life compete.

*Gym

*Mental health- meditation, stoic practice etc you have low self esteem need to work on that.

*DO NOT fuck up college. Especially if your parents are helping you out with it, It’s a huge opportunity.

*Get friends go out have fun catch some L’s but talk to women that’s the way to get better. Go out by yourself talk to ppl guys girls whatever learn how to communicate with people.

Try to find a mentor

gmacc21 · 2021-09-16T02:16:51+00:00

Aight 3 major keys my guy. 1. Stop watching porn. 2. Go to the gym, many gym goers are nerdy. It takes brain to learn all about lifting and diet. 3. Go to therapy or get counseling. Just pay someone so you can talk to them about this and they will help you out and give you professional advice while also knowing exactly how to deal with these childhood traumas. Also a real woman will respect you for working through childhood traumas and attachment problems and stuff… obviously save that for when you get to know her well.

Bonus: meditate. Checkout plum village app for free

LLL3peat · 2021-09-16T02:17:57+00:00

So you got women who were interested and got oral. Cool. Your ahead of many. Aim to be a little more active and lose some weight. I’m sure your more or less asexual due to being overweight. Usually overweight means you have more free estrogen and your libido goes with it. Go from Less porn, less playing with yourself to more walks and lift some weights that give you resistance. Little by little your transform. Good luck man. You have it in you and some success, but you don’t believe in yourself. Good luck and your self esteem will come in time.

agaren · 2021-09-16T02:24:21+00:00

Of course there’s hope, you’re very young! Focus on college and getting a career. If you have time, start going to the gym. Find your favorite hobbies and do them often. Keep your head high and you’ll find someone!

Hey_Kids32 · 2021-09-16T02:24:49+00:00

You’re technically still a teenager. You’re going to be fine. Take showers often, care about how you look and treat others well. It’ll work out for you my dude.

benn700 · 2021-09-16T02:30:32+00:00

First and foremost focus on the fact that you are 19 and enjoy that s***, second take time out of your schedule to just meet new people experience life a little bit Through The Eyes of a 19 year old take your time literally just be in the moment most importantly get to a healthy weight and if you have cousins go to the coolest cousin you have and Shadow that cousin, everything else will come in time

ScalpelLifter · 2021-09-16T02:37:20+00:00

I've been in worse and got through it. Work on your physique. Find a girl who doesn't live with their parents or move out or pay for a hotel. Go out with anyone you match with on online dating

rmarden · 2021-09-16T02:49:27+00:00

You got a BJ at that age? Shit, that's more than I was doing at that age. I was fantasizing about being with girls at my college and put every woman on a pedestal. I also thought my life was just about over, but that's another story for another day.

At 19, you a half-baked product. Shit, you haven't even been formed to go into the oven, so to speak. So much road ahead of you. But you need to play your cards right. Build yourself up into the man you want to be.

Go to the gym and lift heavy weights. Get this book. It will change your life.

Learn how to speak to people in general. I'd recommend going to Toastmasters. It will help you get rid of your fear of public speaking (a fear which many people have by default).

Stop masturbating and watching porn. Trust me.

Learn about basic personal finance. r/personalfinance is a good place to start.

Read The Power of Your Subconscious Mind, No Excuses by Brian Tracy, and Way of the Superior Man by David Deida, and Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins. Your life will change.

Do these things and you will be a completely new man by 24 or even earlier. But you need to put in the work.

OwYouHitMeInMyWienew · 2021-09-16T02:50:30+00:00

I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 24 lmao. I hadn’t even kissed anyone until I was 22.

mceatalot · 2021-09-16T02:50:46+00:00

You’re only 19. Life hasn’t even started for you. Focus on other things that interest you besides sex. Work on yourself and everything will come to you, including the ladies.

mustafarian · 2021-09-16T02:54:12+00:00

Get fit. Pick a style you like. Work on your confidence bro you gonna start slaying in a year or two then your twenties will be your playground. You are already appealing to a specific group of ppl once you work on those few things mentioned above you gonna be able to choose who u want

Zeethos · 2021-09-16T03:08:45+00:00

Join clubs at your school that are majority women or are a good mix. Learn to socialize and it’ll come naturally.

For example the rock climbing club at my Uni, tons of gorgeous laid back girls and you have the best ice breaker in the world “can you help me with this beta”

beguntheclonewarhas · 2021-09-16T03:09:42+00:00

HughBeaumont500 · 2021-09-16T03:35:30+00:00

There's hope

Hit the gym fatty. Develop better (healthy) eating habits.

Don't think about it - journal about it - blog about it - ect... BE ABOUT IT! Do it!

And in 2 weeks when you're body is sore and you want those Doritos and you don't see any improvement, ...read this carefully: Do NOT quit your program. Stick to it. Like consistently.

You will notice your confidence increasing

Nobody can do it for you. You gotta' put in the work and stick to it.

In your spare time read - articles of general interest. Read on many different topics. It'll help you in conversations later on. Not as a know it all - but as someone who is interesting to talk to.

Ok? Last thing: Start tomorrow. ASAP.

All the best to ya'

You can do whatever it is you believe you are capable of

MagicGnome97 · 2021-09-16T03:42:52+00:00

work hard on your studies/career, get in shape (exercise and clean up your diet) and when you feel comfortable to do so pick up some kind of hobby/activity where you can meet people if you want, apparently this is a really good way to get out of your shell.

mate I'm in similar situation and I'm 23 (a little overweight but not that overweight, still gotta get into shape tho) but I'm not worrying or complaining about it, I know what I have to do (but sometimes starting things can be the hardest part).

blackanese27 · 2021-09-16T03:45:55+00:00

One of my best friends was 6'4 and around 330 our freshman year of college. He started working out in our college's gym a lot, was on the elliptical frequently and lost about 90 pounds in 18 months.

You're still young as fuck! You'll be fine.

Dude is a chick magnet and pulls more women than anyone I know. YOU CAN DO THIS.

lildudefromXdastreet · 2021-09-16T04:15:46+00:00

Alright, you remind me VERY much of my younger brother, so I'm going to be very blunt with you the same way I was with him a few years ago when he was in a similar spot. You are 19, it's not over yet, stop crying and do something.

"I’m black, 6,3, but pretty fat and need to lose weight."

Lose the goddamn weight. You're 6'3. You're literally in the top 1ish percent of males in a very important metric, Do you have any idea how many men would literally kill to be as genetically blessed as you? Stop wasting your gift. Get in the gym, get ripped, and stop being a shapeless fat fuck.

Not only will you look better but chances are it'll help with your confidence.

"I live with my parents and I’m doing college online so I don’t go to campus. I barely leave the house"

This needs to change ASAP. Listen man, you're in college. You will NEVER be in any situation where things are set up so easily for you to get laid. Living on campus you're surrounded by young, broke, attractive girls 24/7. You will never get this chance again. Stop taking online classes as soon as you can, and get on campus. Go out there and meet people. Even if you're not able to move out or live on campus, join clubs, be active, go to campus regularly and meet people.

"I’m not very social and no girl has ever liked me.I’m pretty much a black nerd."

Social skills aren't something you're just automatically born with. You have to develop them just like any other skill, so what makes you think jacking off at home 24/7 is going to help you develop them? If you continue to stay at home 24/7 you're setting yourself up for failure. Join clubs, pick up a intramural sport, volunteer, do something for fucks sake. MEET PEOPLE.

"I’ve never gotten interest from women.
The most I have ever gotten are some bjs from a girl who was a grade above me in school."

You got head from an older girl....yet you still believe no woman has ever been interested in you? Bruh

"I’ve been made fun of for my looks a lot of times"

Nearly every person has been called unattractive by somebody whether they know it or not. It's just a fact of life, not everyone is going to find you attractive. Does that mean you should get down on yourself and give up? No, you depressed cunt. Focus on what you can control. Like I said, get in the gym, learn to dress, get a good haircut (if you're a black man, you should have some type of fade full stop), start socializing, and the girls will come eventually.

So in short, no it's not over for you. There IS hope, but you have to do something if you want to realize it. You need to focus on improving yourself and your confidence. In all honesty, that's probably your biggest issue. How do you expect women to like you if you don't even fucking like yourself?

friends_fan_402 · 2021-09-16T04:19:48+00:00

If you want it you have to get out and act like it. Sitting at home feeling bad about yourself is not going to get you anywhere. I used to believe that guys were just going to show up on my doorstep, but I’ve now figured out it doesn’t actually work like that. Start by working out to lose weight, figure out what you like to do (we all have something) and go OUT and do it to make friends that have similar interests then when you aren’t expecting it, it will happen!

Now I just need to take my own advice. Lol

SpiritOfAnAngie · 2021-09-16T04:29:29+00:00

Once you get out of your house and live life these thoughts of whatever happened in high school or before will QUICKLY fade from view..

You got this kid.

Whenever that voice in your head tells you not to go for what you want, just notice it it. Once you notice it start telling it to FUCK OFF!

You deserve whatever else it is that we all currently have (and more if you want!)

Start putting the fear Away.. we need it to survive yes, but to live? No thing, not more than that.

You got this!✌️

MentalCelOmega · 2021-09-16T04:32:39+00:00

I'm afraid it is over for you. But then again, it never began for people like us.

Mad-Draper · 2021-09-16T04:35:30+00:00

Bruh I wouldn’t worry about ‘making it’.

You’ve got a life ahead of you, focus on self improvement before you focus on women.

Some of the happiest married guys I know didn’t have sex till their late 20s

MrMacDoctor · 2021-09-16T04:40:32+00:00

Patrice O'Neal didn't start getting puss til his mid thirties.

If you don't know who that is, YouTube the black Phillips show

Nofapdeity · 2021-09-16T04:41:53+00:00

Bro the sooner you can get on campus and hit the bars the better. I used to be just like you, I finally got to campus this year & made some good friends and have talked to many women.

I haven’t gotten with any girls yet, but probably soon.

KneedHelpQuicc · 2021-09-16T05:03:51+00:00

stopped reading at 6’3

bobbiesbunions · 2021-09-16T05:21:56+00:00

Dude you’re still young and eventually, you gotta stop feeling sorry for yourself and take life by the balls.

If you aren’t satisfied with your body, hit the gym. It’s great for you mentally aswell, if you stay consistent i guarantee you’ll notice a difference.

If you aren’t satisfied with your social skills then work on them, put yourself out there, even if it’s uncomfortable because that’s how you grow.

I empathize with you because I feel the same in a lot of ways, but I’ve worked on myself these past couple years and It shows. What you put in is what you get out

salbo85 · 2021-09-16T05:33:49+00:00

Yea there is. Stop thinking about the past . Move forward with a chin up. And hope for the best. Your not always gonna be liked and that's ok. Shoot ur shot. And be happy

ProCatMasseuse · 2021-09-16T05:54:05+00:00

Dude relax. Im 27 and have only had sex 3 times and haven't even busted due to nerves and a desensitized penis do to over masturbation. My top to you is to forget about chicks right now. Focus on losing weight. That is the most powerful thing you can do at the moment. Once you get into shape you'll feel a lot more confident because you had to work hard to get to where you are. You'll see a direct connection to working hard towards a goal and success. That is actually more attractive to a girl than being in shape. Once you're in good shape start building a social life. Learn how to talk to people and learn how to smoothly steer conversations in a direction you want. Then learn how to talk and interact with women. This whole process can take years but having a confident and fulfilling sex life at 24 isnt bad. Right now I'm shooting for 30. Dont waste your time. You are the only one that has the power to change your life. Dont let life determine who you are.

andrei_89 · 2021-09-16T05:56:13+00:00

Improve what you can (ex: lose weight, improve social skills), take care of yourself. Don't expect good things to come to you without putting in effort.

Also forget what happened in X grade. Kids are mean, and you also changed in the meantime. it is not relevant anymore and you don't need to dwell on that.

SnooFoxes6304 · 2021-09-16T06:13:07+00:00

R/theredpil is your place

External_Lifeguard49 · 2021-09-16T06:13:27+00:00

Of course. I lose my virginity at 19 bro. Just work on your game, confidence, social skills and appearance and you will get girls.

Nimius88 · 2021-09-16T06:33:44+00:00

Buddy what you need to do is to read the book "Can't Hurt Me" from David Goggins... Trust me just read it your life will change after that...

AlinaAllure · 2021-09-16T07:03:25+00:00

Black nerd chick here 👋🏽 I’m an old millennial (30) and I would like to add that USUALLY it’s your attitude more than looks.

You sound like a teddy bear and women love that.

It’s about hygiene and personality. No woman wants to be with a whining or complaining man. You have to believe you’re worth the best, and live accordingly.

tehrealdirtydan · 2021-09-16T07:03:41+00:00

I was 23 til I lost mine. Don't lose hope. I felt so much better once I lost it and it was off my chest. People kept saying "it's just sex", people who had had it. Yes it is, but once you've done it, you'll feel better

curvedbymykind · 2021-09-16T17:35:27+00:00

Just jerk off bro

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	95
Comments	108
Date	September 15, 2021 9:32 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pozhm3/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1276051 https://theredarchive.com/post/1276051

Comments