Dont chase girls they will come

GlobalArachnid · 2019-04-15T13:40:36+00:00

As a computer science student, girls ain't coming anytime soon

Dilpil01 · 2019-04-15T14:42:12+00:00

As a man, you should be looking for opportunities to approach new girls, start up a conversation, show them your worth and begin seducing them. Create an abundance mentality at all times.

However you should never be groveling to them or going out of your way to chase them, especially online. If you've done your job in the real world, that should be enough to get the ball rolling.

Hmurie · 2019-04-15T13:17:45+00:00

Approaching and chasing are two different things

You have to approach, you don’t have to chase.

thecabelredrockets · 2019-04-15T09:28:25+00:00

Fuckin oath, I'm so sick of people telling me this. "oh there's someone perfect out there for you" or "just stop looking and she'll turn up". Fuck off, nothing happens unless you go out and get it, well said OP

-lighght- · 2019-04-15T15:21:49+00:00

Go after girls? Yes. Chase girls? No.

Just the other day me and some friends were on the roof of their (college) rental playing pong and having a good time. Across the street a group 5-6 good looking girls came out of their place and said "is this the first time you guys have gone up there? How did you even get up there!?" We answered and then one of the girls said something like "you'll have to show us how to get on ours." Dead serious before she even completely finished that sentence, two of my friends were already sprinting to the edge to get down to help them.

I get that they were coming from excitement about these cute ass girls and wanting to get to know them, but you gotta take a step back and think about it. Most girls arent attracted to over eager dudes. Notice how most of the time the asshole gets the girl? Sometimes you gotta act like you dont really care. Play your cards right 🙏

krimpenrik · 2019-04-15T08:15:28+00:00

It is no BS.. just another form of seduction. For example, travelled to HK for last couple of days. Met some people at the hostel and we formed a group pretty quickly, when you establish yourself as a fun outgoing and leqder type of person your smv maybe the highest of the group. And girls notice and they notice other girls notice. And they come naturally for asking attention and validation.

IMHO it is a great strategy if you dont care if you get laid or not, because it doesnt always work ect. But it is relax and stress free.

recyclablebanthas · 2019-04-16T04:03:35+00:00

Some people will say dont focus on girls they will come

dont approach girls they will come.

"Don't approach girls," is shit advice, agreed.

But the idea of "not chasing girls," is not the same thing.

Not chasing refers to the very non-controversial concept of being a try hard. It's referring to guys who TRY to be a certain thing to make girls want them.

It's bad advice to tell guys to plan for girls to just come to them. Some might, but it's not enough to go around expecting it all the time. But it certainly is valid to advise guys to stop trying so hard to "make" the girls attracted, since girls who are interested, will certainly meet a guy half-way if he initiates.

pat_nafs · 2019-04-15T14:44:10+00:00

^true and i am saying this based on a personal experience. no matter what they say about changing gender norms, guys are expected to make a move .... i was indifferent for too long, and it did not work out

shinn497 · 2019-04-15T16:38:11+00:00

This really means that if you have a life you will be more interesting to women if you happen to meet them.

But i you are just walking on the street or soemthing it won't help you. If you are in a new club where you are unfamiliar it won't help you.

Basically this is just saying to have social circle game, but it only works in your social circle.

People that recommend this are imagining guys that are popualr and are assuming they get lots of women, maybe they do, but they also have to ride subways, get groceries, chill at home and watch netflix, and do something in between chilling with friends. During those times no one will come.

And ALSO, social circle game is limiting in that you only interact with women that join your social circle. if your social circle is mostly dudes, it doesn't help. And if you date someone in your social circle you need to be worried about rumors.

This advice lowkey pisses me off since it isn't empathetic to men and sort of views us in a limited way without thinking how we feel.

</rant>

2019-04-15T12:58:06+00:00

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Geodude07 · 2019-04-15T17:19:12+00:00

Some people are misunderstanding the basic advice behind 'don't chase girls'.

It doesn't mean you passively sit around like a Disney princess hoping your girl is going to show up to fulfill your fantasies. It means that you shouldn't chase after them once you've begun your seduction.

Once you've talked a bit, made her laugh, done whatever...then you let her come after you a bit. You make her wait for you to respond and you make it clear she's not the only thing going on in your life.

Of course you shouldn't turn her away if she seems really eager to meet again, but bending over backwards and letting her schedule things anytime she wants will generally fail. The theory being that she'll detect that you're willing to do anything for her and that is unattractive because you don't know her and it says you are low value.

Once you stop 'chasing' they will see you are actually interesting and have options. When they see you have options you suddenly seem more interesting because now you're a guy with value. Now you're a guy she wants to spend time with because other people are also interested and thus....there must be a reason. Then you get the chance to actually get to know each other and she'll feel good about it.

chicos240 · 2019-04-15T19:54:30+00:00

I think what this means is...

you meet a girl, girl is not interested, dont chase her.

Another girl will come,

alecgood17 · 2019-04-15T21:41:52+00:00

If you look like you are a guys that is just looking to have sex they will not come. If you look like a guy that is just trying to have a good time and has a good time wherever he goes, they will come.

Pfeil · 2019-04-15T21:44:12+00:00

Don’t chase girls is good advice. Focusing on girls is detrimental. As long as you are living your life and taking care of business whatever that may be opportunities will present themselves. The trick is to know when to capitalize on those opportunities. Someone I consider an older brother once told me “if a girl wants it to happen, she’ll make it happen” in regards to relationships/dates/hookups unless you reject her. Persistence is not bad but chicks can smell desperation a mile away which will leave you alone with Jim and the twins 100% of the time unless the chick is desperate herself.

TheGuyWhoLovesInk · 2019-04-15T11:54:22+00:00

I won't lie,

💯 honesty here, when a girl chases you it's actually better, you have control, then the other way round, I'd prefer a girl chase me

It helps me not waste time on them, and instead in that time period , I improve myself, which will benefit me more in the long run!
Chasing is fun only till you don't have her, once you have her, it kind of becomes boring!

getyourlifeplease · 2019-04-15T10:53:30+00:00

It is something we've all been forced to tell each other to make the pain go away and to keep up hope. But...it is a LIE. Sadly there are people in this world (men and women) that will never find a match (for numerous reasons) and there are also people who actually have to put the work in and put forth effort to meet someone - where others have it easy and do not have to do anything. Constantly chasing women is not cool and does make a guy look desperate. But a guy that actually works on his approach and makes a strategic move to ask a woman out is how it should be!

clit_obliterator · 2019-04-15T15:05:48+00:00

After enough rejections, you just stop caring. It has been 6 months since I ever stepped out of my house, except for work. Couldn’t care lesser about a relationship.

LogicalOlive · 2019-04-15T15:21:56+00:00

It depends on your personality. I’m high energy person by myself and I enjoy life. People flock to me because of this. If you’re not doing anything but being a bore they won’t come. If you live life by your own interesting beat they will come.

Aka don’t be boring. Have fun. Work out.

PolesWithGoals · 2019-04-15T15:43:32+00:00

It's true if you're attractive

BreakYourCrayons · 2019-04-15T17:15:15+00:00

Yes they will. Focus on yourself and making yourself a better person. Girls and people in general will naturally be attracted to a man that's individualistic and has his feet firmly planted into the ground. I'm not saying don't approach women and don't go after women, but also don't make them your primary focus in life just because you want one.

gangstatr · 2019-04-15T17:34:39+00:00

Another dumb thing people say is

Dont focus on women

focus money and women will come

BULL SHIT !!!!

There are very rich incels so explain that ?

Also so many rich millionares.

rentmypie · 2019-04-15T17:47:20+00:00

i think the real meaning behind is “don’t be needy and desperate for pussy.” . Just vibe and hold a solid frame in a social circle of high value and then show intent but not be needy when you start vibing with a chick

dtothetwo · 2019-04-15T10:21:27+00:00

I'm not a great looking guy lol I really do have to chase

2019-04-15T14:01:11+00:00

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Lord_Augastus · 2019-04-15T09:56:44+00:00

lol someone still hasnt got passed the level of progress. Stuck there. Girls do come, you have value, learn t show it, and own yourself. Be confident in you direction and go after what you want. Women will come. Also you should go after women, but they will not come back if you are still stuck on the fake it till you make it. (The secret is we never make it, we always be chasing something)

Dernuld_Trumpet · 2019-04-15T12:15:15+00:00

If you don't ask you don't get simple as that

2019-04-15T14:40:52+00:00

I'm sick of people when they till this same speech. t gets old as fuck.

raptorman181 · 2019-04-15T14:57:36+00:00

You still gotta throw the bait as they say. I think the point of this saying is not let having or not having a girl consume your life.

deathtone · 2019-04-15T14:59:49+00:00

I get the concept with the statement, but you're right. You have to already have girls you've chased a bit, and when you act uninterested or too busy to see them they'll start to chase you. They won't come out of thin air.

drutyper · 2019-04-15T15:56:20+00:00

I've always heard it as, " Chase girls, lose money. Chase money, girl's will chase you." lol

LetsGoAllTheWhey · 2019-04-15T16:10:19+00:00

"You'll find someone when you're not looking for them." I stopped looking five years ago and so far nobody has showed up.

DajuanKev · 2019-04-15T16:16:44+00:00

FACT OF THE ** DAY!

Also, the chance of never seeing the girl again is extremely highly likely. Me and one of my bros even discussed it.

Realistic_Status · 2019-04-15T16:17:47+00:00

if you think about it, that only exists in the women world because men come to women not women come to men. So they give you this hope that doesnt exist around mens reality. I Also never believed in this because i was single for too long and i still am ( 4 years single). I know to get friends and to make Gfs you do have to take action to get what you want. nothing is free in the mens world.

sh1ftyswar · 2019-04-15T16:20:42+00:00

I believe what they are referring to are the guys who "try to hard"

alielknight · 2019-04-15T16:28:10+00:00

I can relate to this. But to add to it, I think that that saying should be upgraded to " you should take the girls that come" meaning forget the ones that don't want anything, and you'll see the law of abundance take over.

talknerdytome98 · 2019-04-15T17:03:26+00:00

I like a man who knows what he wants a chases it with class

ibrown39 · 2019-04-15T17:14:53+00:00

I agree that the way it’s said is annoying but you gotta take it as just be yourself and you’ll gain confidence, making everything flowing as if they just came to you. It’s like a best friend. Did you actively seek them out? Probably not. You sought people out and connected with an individual.

zincSF · 2019-04-15T17:27:24+00:00

The truth is the vast majority of men only score with a woman (or mate with a woman) through pretty much random chance. Also, they tend to GRAB AHOLD FAST AND HARD to the first woman that engages with them, usually resulting in a bad break up years later or divorce.

Work on skills with women, and ability to open and attract women, make your reality an abundance of women. It does take WORK and sustained effort. With an abundance, you can learn, evaluate, have fun, and if you want it, eventually pick out a top quality person to mate with. Instead of the first one that comes along and fucks you.

Note that by just learning effective approach/opening, you are instantly separating yourself qualitatively from 98% of the men on the planet.

Tw15t3d_Jordan · 2019-04-15T17:51:18+00:00

I don't think they mean avoid girls though. When people say, "don't chase..." i think they're leaving out an important detail. They want you to focus on yourself, like actually put effort into yourself and the things you find value in/enjoy. When your life revolves around you and not around trying to find a girl, women actually find it more attractive. Because they find independent, self-reliant men much more attractive, they'll "come to you."

They won't necessarily come to you in the sense that they'll swarm all over you, but rather they'll be more open to you and more opportunities will show up; you still have to take what you want like you said when the opportunity shows up. But if you're constantly chasing women like you don't have your own value, they'll percieve you as such.

gangstatr · 2019-04-15T18:44:41+00:00

Wow thank you so much for making this post go viral !

cross share this post in reddit

spread the message

Whalers7997 · 2019-04-15T19:09:44+00:00

It's a balance.

karlbernadel1 · 2019-04-15T21:34:45+00:00

Facts

hikeNshoot · 2019-04-15T21:37:08+00:00

That is a phase we all hear often. At times I feel it's a comfort statement for those individuals who are genuinely ill content with their situations but are fearful of the consequences if they take the leap.

This concept doesn't apply to only women. In this life, nothing is going to be handed over to you and placed directly in your possession. You can pray, wish, day dream about that dream girl, desired job/career, or any parts of your life that you want to accomplish, but at the end of the day as you lay in bed, you'll be haunted knowing that you're holding yourself back by living in the fear that you've created within yourself.

What this statement truly means is to work on yourself, chase your dreams and desires, not just your job! Work on finding your purpose daily. Because by doing so, you'll notice that all your development cascades into other aspects of your life. A person on a mission with passion attracts people. That's the reality of it. This places you into a more favorable position and opens you to pursue the women you want, especially if they have grown interested in what your passion is. You're not going to be blinded by beauty and attention because you're already self-sustaining. You can filter the undesirables and focus on those that can match your level organically.

The bumass mentality is thinking everything will be handed to you without any effort on your behalf. You are in no position to make demands, just wishful pity thinking.

Want to be a pro athlete but sits around all day with no practice? No position to make demands.
Want a better job but doesn't learn skills to make self marketable? No position to make demands.
Want a good woman in your life but doesn't approach when the opportunity comes? No position to make demands.

The opportunities are always there! You gotta notice it, break the fear, and grab it before it passes you by. You definitely don't want to be lingering on that thought on how you missed it later that night while in bed.

Savageseeks · 2019-04-15T21:46:37+00:00

Don't CHASE girls. Approach them. That's it.

bachaterothuf · 2019-04-15T21:51:59+00:00

I know from personal experience, girl won't chase a guy unless he's a 10/10. I don't chase girls either,they want to me to chase them,but I don't chase them.

peeaches · 2019-04-15T22:09:57+00:00

Non-serious theory: They tell us "Don't chase women, they'll come to you" so that they can chase the women with less competition.

mattliamjack · 2019-04-15T22:26:29+00:00

It’s like sales you can’t chase you have to win people over. It makes sense don’t chase or be needy

Kaimaniiii · 2019-04-15T22:36:27+00:00

The same thing can be said that learning a language will come

MysteryLiezer · 2019-04-15T22:43:41+00:00

If you’ve ever had a girlfriend, you know that you didn’t do much, if anything at all, to attract her into your life

vegas092609 · 2019-04-16T00:11:58+00:00

You can ask someone out or express interest without chasing, per se

The way to approach a woman: - be polite - be straightforward - talk to her like a human and listen when she talks - be considerate

Women think of “chasing” as the stuff below: - continuing to ask out a woman after she’s told you no already - following a woman in any way after she says she’s not interested. Don’t like her social media posts. Don’t turn up where you know she’ll be. And don’t think you can change her mind. - making grand, romantic gestures like the ones that happen in movies.

Everything above is creepy and stalkerish. Just don’t, under any circumstances, except for the grand gesture is appropriate if you’re already in a relationship or it’s prom or something.

If you don’t do anything to even go near a girl, you won’t ever get anything. You have to talk to us and try to be as normal as possible. That doesn’t mean the the biggest geek in school can get a date with the head cheerleader just by walking up to her. But if he knew her in a class, or outside of school, he could get to know her and then be interested.

I’m a middle-aged woman who has given you the secret to women. You still won’t believe it, though.

vegas092609 · 2019-04-16T00:15:08+00:00

I should also state the obvious: shower, wear deodorant and clean clothes, brush your teeth, wash and comb your hair, don’t pick your nose or your ass or your balls in front of the object of your affection, don’t cough, sneeze, burp or fart without covering your mouth or saying excuse me. Try not to fart.

Also, talk about things she likes, not just about you and your stuff.

cammilo96 · 2019-04-16T00:25:07+00:00

I'm used to wait for girls to approach, decent looks help, though right now i'm absolutely not getting the pussy i want and deserve

TeapotTheDog · 2019-04-16T00:25:52+00:00

Yeah, but there's definitely a line. If you go after them too hard, that's off putting. Put in no effort you won't get any. The best thing is don't chase too hard, always know there's another one out there etc.

wolfbee16 · 2019-04-16T00:41:47+00:00

When they say don’t chase it doesn’t mean not to go for girls, but to have an abundant mindset. The moment you give them 100% attention and do everything to try and make her happy you lose her. Go for girls, but don’t put them on a pedestal

GraveyardZombie · 2019-04-16T00:59:25+00:00

Hide your wives cuz Rico Suave is in da house!

crazymonkey8 · 2019-04-16T01:00:12+00:00

I think the 'don't chase girls, they'll come' concept doesn't mean don't go out and get it or don't take action; it's simply pointing at a shift in mentality. If you see seduction as 'chasing' or 'hunting' you're coming from a needy place and probably come across as such. If you see seduction as just putting yourself in situations/environments where there are women and make friends, be fun and at ease, chat with people, ask a hot girl out when there's mutual interest, then, women really do tend to come to you.

ComplexProjection · 2019-04-15T11:09:23+00:00

The problem on internet is the echo chamber. It exaggerate everything.

Don't focus on girl is totally right, do things for you, improve yourself in ways that matter to you.

But do approach, you are the hunter.

FilthyStylish · 2019-04-15T15:52:53+00:00

Not chasing girls doesn’t mean leading a miserable life while living in your mom’s basement and expecting a girl to miraculously appear and start jerking you off. That’s fucking ridiculous and nobody said that.

Don’t chase means don’t blown up her phone, don’t keep asking her out even after she brushed you off hundred times, don’t be her tampon etc. But even for this to happen you still have to go out and meet her and ask her out. You done your part so you leave it at that. Don’t chase AFTER DOING YOUR PART. Not before.

misterglister880 · 2019-04-15T22:25:41+00:00

It's a mixture of both. Definitely work on your social skills and definitely approach women, but don't go out of your way to impress anyone. If you're being your best self, you will radiate qualities that will attract people to you, and you can easily have your pick of the (almost certainly much higher quality) litter at that point.

Shadow__Account · 2019-04-15T08:35:06+00:00

I think its true though, but i think it can be a pretty far advanced stage in your journey depending on where you start and i think most if us first have to "conquer" a lot of girls before we get to that level where we are so confident in getting girls that we radiate it and they pick up on it and will come after you.

coolvirginman · 2019-04-15T15:04:36+00:00

I disagree they do come if you take care of your self i have girls hit on me all the time.

petark7 · 2019-04-15T12:37:40+00:00

The point of that message is not to sit and do nothing and girls will come to you, it means that you should NOT be looking for girl to date or hook up intentionally. All you need to do is go out and have fun. Don't look at girls as a potential to date or fuck, look at them as people who you like to hang out with. If they are interested in something more, you WILL now. It's that simple.

TallDarkandFilipino · 2019-04-15T17:12:58+00:00

"You lose a lot of money chasing women... but you'll never lose women chasing money." - Mr. Landis

gangstatr · 2019-04-15T17:45:31+00:00

wow 130 up votes ! this shit is going viral !!!!

share this !

itsover4000 · 2019-04-15T20:13:54+00:00

I've been 'focusing on myself, my careers and my interests' for 24 years and the last time I had a prolonged conversation with a girl was in around 2007

Literally 100% bullshit advice

reaprofsouls · 2019-04-15T20:52:16+00:00

I see a lot of comments regarding money or owning your own business. These things will not get you laid out right. I have a very successful Amazon business and engineering career. I play competitive mixed club ultimate. In most regards I'm very successful.

MOST WOMEN DON'T CARE. I check off some nice boxes, but ultimately none of them are ever interested in the things that I spend 90% of my time doing.

They would rather me draw them pictures, cook together, read books together etc. Women value more social skills that money and success will not bring you.

By no means do I have troubles dating but money and bring in shape aren't necessary. Cultivate your social skills and work on being fun to be around.

ArmitageShanks69 · 2019-04-15T22:02:12+00:00

There are 2 types of guys in this world:

Those who women are attracted to.
Those who women are not attracted to.

For the guys who women are attracted to, women will come when they are not focusing on them.

For the guys who women are not attracted to, women will not come no matter what.

gangstatr · 2019-04-15T22:10:37+00:00

wow i ve gone.viral

huntdog49 · 2019-04-16T00:52:46+00:00

Right.Just stay home,try to write music,use your left hand,and they will cum. I made a prank phone call.At first,this child was doing exactly as I told her.Just as she was putting her hand over her thing,I heard the familiar door slam.Mom was back.That night,I got the obscene return call;from Mom. 'If you want to,'She said.The next Saturday,around 10:00 AM,I was introduced to Ann.All that she had was nipples.That was enough.

nylostandfound · 2019-04-15T13:42:18+00:00

I dress like a model, I have good posture, alpha eye contact (from the videos I watched) I'm 5'10", I don't have women approaching me in supermarkets.

Title	Dont chase girls they will come
Author	gangstatr
Upvotes	337
Comments	165
Date	April 15, 2019 8:07 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/bddgmj/dont_chase_girls_they_will_come/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dont-chase-girls-they-will-come.1466515 https://theredarchive.com/post/1466515

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