Eye contact is incredibly important.

frogma · 2012-03-11T07:42:04+00:00

What you'll notice with guys is they'll almost always look away immediately (unless they're the type of guy who's doing the same shit you're doing). Whereas with girls, they naturally tend to hold eye contact longer- it's like they instinctively know you're gonna look away first, so they don't have to worry about their own eye contact being seen as "weird."

That is, until you come along and hold the eye contact. Some girls will do the same as guys- kinda smirk, then look down and to the side. But then other girls will hold it with you indefinitely. They're so comfortable holding it in the first place, they don't even realize you've both been staring at each other for like 10 seconds. Then you give them a little smile, and they give it back (or sometimes they'll laugh a little awkward laugh), bada bing bada boom. Just approach.

I was getting some alcohol at Walmart earlier today- lady in front of me (decent-looking, but like 50 years old) turned around to glance at me, and I just held the eye contact with her. We literally looked at each other for like 3 seconds, then she finally averted her gaze, looked down at my liquor, and asked if I was going to be making a certain drink (which was cool as shit, because it's a lesser-known drink, but not only did she know its name, she was able to guess it based on the 3 things I was buying). So we talked about that for a bit, then talked about partying and shit in general, and ended up walking out together before separating.

That kind of shit happens constantly, and it's all because of little things like eye contact. Just the other day- I have a teacher who's pretty hot, same thing: I held eye contact while she was talking, and did that thing where you "smile with the eyes" (like don't smile with your mouth, but think of something funny/sexy and your eyes will contort just slightly in a way that shows you're happy). She ended up looking at me way more than anyone else, ended up specifically asking me questions, and being the manwhore I am, I started teasing her a bit and making some jokes throughout the class (she's a pretty cool teacher, so it wasn't out-of-line or anything). I could literally feel the sexual tension, and it all started because of that eye contact. I fully plan on building it up some more.

Edit: It's funny that I drunkenly made this comment (and a few others) last night, kinda assuming this post wouldn't get many views. And now, this is one of my highest-voted comments. Shit dude, I could give some more "insight" on eye contact if you want.

Gazeekoo · 2012-03-11T11:24:40+00:00

I come from a background of never making eye contact, but when talking to a woman, making eye contact and showing that you are 100% in the moment and there listening to them just creates just such a sincere connection, powerful yet it's so subtle.

I do this thing where I'm kind of shoot the shit a little, just any random stuff. Like "how's your day so far. oh ya... I just got off too. Ya... maybe some day computers will never crash". then make shy eye contact at first, kind of like testing the waters to see how she responds. then if it's ok, i make good longer eye contact.

I think one reason why people dislike eye contact is that when you are doing it, it's impossible to mask your intent. if you are an awesome person, they will see it in your eyes. if you are shy, they will see it. if you have a hidden agenda, they will see it. what I like to do, is for every woman, I imagine that at one point in time, they were just a girl who had dreams in life and wanted to grow up and be a good person. That was then, this is now, but I see that girl inside, and I try to have an overwhelming sense of love for the world and for her. I think this shows through. Oh, and on top of that, I do a slight james bond face =). U know the face I'm talking about.

thr_pkc · 2012-03-11T07:44:50+00:00

I use to have trouble with eye contact. I personally made two rules: 1. When I walk halls I always look every person I walk past in the eye and smile whether they look back or not. 2. Always look the person in the eye when talking unless they look towards something.

It's helped a lot and now I don't have too much trouble looking people in the eye.

SpiderFan · 2012-03-11T07:56:02+00:00

Guys, learn from my mistake. When they say strong eye contact, they mean with the other persons eyes, not there genitals.

Do wonder my last job interview went so badly.

vtecaddict · 2012-03-11T12:37:40+00:00

You'd be surprised at how this translates into the professional world. Especially coworkers, they will respect you, and view you as a confident/hold your ground type of person. Strong eye contact generally means the person is sure of him/herself. When you give off that aura through eye contact, there's nothing that can really get in your way.

Also, very important when you're talking to female co-workers. They can sense that you're not a pushover simply from the strong eye contact you make while listening/talking to that person.

sikat · 2012-03-11T19:47:30+00:00

Just my input on the topic. I had the same issue with eye contact a while ago and it was affecting EVERYTHING. Home, family, social life but where i noticed it was work. Holding eye contact is a dominance thing - at least for me in the work environment. I felt i could not push through an idea or subject if i did not hold eye contact, and for a short period i was failing badly. I did some research and came across a simple yet brilliant method to both hold eye contact and seem "impartial" while doing it - count how many times the other person blinks. With this i took the focus off keeping eye contact and gave it a purpose. After i while, it became natural and i stopped counting while elevating my game ;)

kahonee · 2012-03-11T07:41:45+00:00

How do you avoid looking like a creeper, though? I know eye contact is super important and I'm making a conscious effort to do it more, but when people are talking to me, I feel like I'm staring back at them. It just kinda feels awkward. I've tried the whole "look at one eye, then the other, then at her nose" and the staring at her eyebrows thing, but they don't help a lot.

When I talk, I usually look at them for a bit, then away at something else, then back at them, so on and so forth. Is this a viable method?

Any tips?

ladner · 2012-03-11T07:43:43+00:00

when I make eye contact I tend to focus on one eye, is that normal?

TheoreticalFunk · 2012-03-11T09:13:59+00:00

Even if it doesn't 'work' and you don't use it to 'close sets' you still feel pretty awesome for being the one to not break contact.

shogun21 · 2012-03-11T10:18:33+00:00

How do you go about maintaining eye-contact if the other person isn't doing so? (Either looking away or looking down.)

faahaaap · 2012-03-11T18:14:25+00:00

I can't focus on the conversation when holding eye contact...

Sugar_Honey_Iced_Tea · 2012-03-11T18:31:31+00:00

I find whenever I try to make eye contact while walking in malls or stores the girls look away very quickly. What's wrong? I mean I don't think I am going around looking like burglar/rapist but maybe I am =/ Nor do I think I am good looking enough for them to be shy cause a good looking Ryan Gosling guy is looking at them. Any thoughts?

s0beit · 2012-03-12T13:49:32+00:00

I can make eye contact fine, most of the time, but one question I do have:
Suppose you're talking to two people at once (telling a story or something) and they're both looking at you, how do you resolve this conflict of eye contact etiquette? It has always bugged the hell out of me. I end up switching back and forth and I'm sure I look like a tool, but it's confusing man.

scurvebeard · 2012-03-11T08:23:22+00:00

This is probably one of my few strengths, and I've actually had closer female friends bring it up to me before. And the reactions were all pretty positive.

oreopimp · 2012-03-11T10:04:05+00:00

Duh. And I mean that in the sincerest way possible.

petesler · 2012-03-12T22:09:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

hexag1 · 2012-03-11T06:26:55+00:00

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arturodrsf · 2022-07-29T12:15:31+00:00

I agree. I’m an introvert so looking at people’s eyes is not really comfortable for me. But when I tried it, it happened to work!

Although my story is, I started to get comfortable with talking to girls online first before I went on pick up girls at bars. I am not really that confident so I had to build it up through online dating.

I tried out all of the other popular dating apps and I've had the most luck on Tinder and POF for relationships and Adult Friend Finder for finding hookups.

2012-03-11T12:47:52+00:00

Dont you fucking eyeball me dude unless you want to fight

TheAverageRedditUser · 2012-03-11T07:23:13+00:00

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one__________ · 2012-03-11T15:42:23+00:00

dont force anything, just reciprocate eye contact!!!!!! but dont stare. you can look at each other until you get bored and you dont feel like looking back anymore if she keeps looking at u

homework

edit: the next time i see a 1000 word paragraph about something that you should instinctively know i am going to ADUOSADSDHB&Q@E&@E!Y(@&@!@!V!E@!@&* edit2: DOWNVOTERS EDIT3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR9GiA7Hg_A

McMurphyCrazy · 2012-03-11T10:32:38+00:00

OMG

Eye contact is important! WOW! What are you going to tell us next?

Title	Eye contact is incredibly important.
Author	petesler
Upvotes	258
Comments	130
Date	March 11, 2012 5:40 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qr80p/eye_contact_is_incredibly_important/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/eye-contact-is-incredibly-important.1329707 https://theredarchive.com/post/1329707

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