How do I compete (and win) taller and better-looking guys without getting hopeless?

Captain_w00t · 2024-02-09T17:08:31+00:00

You got several good advices from members of this community, this topic is recurrent, so let’s break it down:

Game and social skills can be learned. A redditor used the metaphor of “learning to walk”, which required a lot of falls but also a lot of fixes to your muscles, posture and movements. Don’t waste time and energy on blaming yourself, use those failures as learning opportunities.
You must compete with yourself, not with others. You need to win against your insecurities. Other people is out of your control, but you can control yourself.
You’ll always have people trying to roast you in some way. Same as above, you don’t need to care about them. That’s the core of inner game.

toliveistocherish · 2024-02-09T13:36:50+00:00

you got some inner game problems boy.

you need to deal with that first. change your mindset you dont need to compete.

you just need to be the best version of yourself. be the person you want to date and remember ‘we attract what we are not what we want’.

you have so much to learn the game(seduction) is a long road there are no shortcuts.

fix your mindset and attitude.

BurnItDownSR · 2024-02-09T13:22:06+00:00

By stopping yourself from looking at blackpill content.

Height and looks are factors in attraction but there are certain people who blow the significance of those things waaaay out of proportion.

There are so many other things within your power that you can improve on that can even get you to the point of being able completely outclass those guys who are taller and better looking than you.

Nugatorysurplusage · 2024-02-09T14:37:18+00:00

I see your post history my young friend.

I used to think I was ugly too, as a kid. I realized, looking back, I wasn’t, and as I grew older (I’m 42 now), I’ve gotten better and better looking to a long where now….I’m the best me I’ve ever been.

In the longterm: Please obtain and maintain some perspective, my man. We are our own harshest critic.

In the shortterm: keep trying, keep hopeful and do things , little things that will build confidence. Baby steps. It took me years, but I’m here , and thank god I never went too far down that dark path.

saulisdating · 2024-02-09T14:53:47+00:00

Ok so let's break it all down:

First of all, looks aren't the most important thing in seduction. All they do is help you get your foot in the door much easier. And create many more opportunities to meet women, as well as help you a lot with first impressions.

However, it's ultimately all about how you can make women FEEL when they're around you. Which doesn't have much to do with your looks, unless the girl is specifically looking to hook up with a hot guy and doesn't give a shit about him at all otherwise.

Point is, there are male models who look amazing but absolutely SUCK with women. They can't get girlfriends or lovers to stick around, if they have shit game and the personality of a brick wall.

Like you said, you've seen tall good looking guys succeed with women. Bust just as you suspect, it's not because of their looks alone. They're most likely confident, have great frame control, are assertive, can spike women's emotions reliably, etc.

That's why it DOESN'T MATTER how ripped you are or what things you have going on in your life. Because those things are just bonuses. They don't really make women feel much in terms of emotions. That's what most guys don't realize.

I know plenty of guys who are fat slobs and have shitty jobs but sleep around with many different women, consistently. So you need to learn game, change your mindsets and focus on the things that really matter in seduction, if you wanna get laid a lot. And stop focusing on how ripped and how tall you are, since that's largely irrelevant.

Second - you TRIED to approach girls without much success, and then you GAVE UP. Well, that's the source of your failure. You gave up without learning this skill.

When you were a baby and you started learning how to walk, did you just give up after falling down hundreds of times those first days? Of course not, that's how you eventually learned how to walk. So you could run, later.

Apply the same logic to learning how to approach and seduce girls. If you give up too soon, no wonder you have no fucking clue what you're doing and have bad results. You gave up. So that's entirely on you.

Third - Bullying sucks and hearing that you'll never get a girlfriend because you're too ugly sucks. But you're not a little boy anymore. Fuck the haters - the only opinion of you that matters to you should be your own. That's maturity. So take responsibility for your life, set a goal to learn this and go fucking approach as many women as it takes to learn.

You DO NOT have an issue of competing against "taller and more good looking guys." The only issue you have is lack of game. Lack of social and seduction skills. AND YOU CAN LEARN THAT.

I'm 178cm (5.84') and I'm pretty average looking. Yet I lost count after sleeping with over 500 women, even though I had to compete with lots of handsome and tall guys. Guess how I did that? Because I decided to dedicate my time to learning all this.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-02-09T13:18:41+00:00

Your attitude is piss poor. I'm hot but never the hottest in the room. More like 3 or 4th. But I ALWAYS get the girl. Because most of these dudes are fucking lame as fuck.

You are lame asf. That's your problem.

I had some issues with bullying and people making me believe "I'd never get a gf" because "I'm too ugly for that" (tried going to therapy but they didn't say anything helpful about it).

Toughen up bruh. You sound like a wimp cry baby. Girls hate this whole paragraph here. The reasons you have issues with bullying is the same reasons you struggle with women.

12_lead · 2024-02-09T16:39:06+00:00

Start thinking of yourself as the prize. What do you/can you bring the table another guy can't?

If a girl doesn't want you it's not your loss it's THEIR loss. That's the mindset you gotta have

blitzik · 2024-02-09T15:36:00+00:00

I mean, are you out there to think about guys, or are you out there to think about girls?

The best, and probably only thing you can do that will get you any success at this point is to just forget about what other guys are doing, or how easy they have it and focus on yourself, those around you, and what you want out of your own life. You're spending so much energy looking at someone else's bowl that you're not able to fill your own.

I'm 5'5, and I never had it easy. Instead of focusing on figuring out how to make girls like me, I went ahead and figured out how to like myself. Got some cool hobbies that I liked and thought were cool.. figured out(decided) where I wanted to actually go in my life and started heading for that.. and everything just clicked itself into place. Get yourself to a place where you can look at yourself in the mirror and say "Yeah, I like that.. I don't really want to trade who I am with anyone else". That's where confidence comes from.

The last girl I hooked up with is practically a head taller than me, and she treats me like a king.

Shaafi18 · 2024-02-09T13:28:00+00:00

Internalise that how you look means nothing. There’s benefits but the guy who has better personality (not just humour, masculine personality like confidence etc) always wins. Work to build positive beliefs about urself and keep approaching different girls no matter how many times you get rejected

DaSlowMotionPimpSlap · 2024-02-09T13:43:41+00:00

time to school and business max, money and the life style u can provide is the answer, granted the women u get from this method don't love you but the lifestyle u can provide. other wise get comfortable in your own skin keep trying and you'll eventually find a regular girl that will like u.

cryengineP · 2024-02-09T16:55:23+00:00

Don’t compete with them by not aiming for super models. probably you’re trying to get the hottest girls ever just to prove yourself worthy, don’t aim for hookup either it’s not for everyone especially in your case (you’ve never had a gf ).

You think yeah I want to have as much girl as I can to prove that I’m likable by girls but one good girl can change alot so aim for that.

As for looks I can’t see your face to judge but from what I observe every person have an initial look threshold to consider you as a potential partner or not and you can’t change that except at long term run, even though girls are far less physical than guys when they search for relationships appearance still matter.

My last point is hookup depends heavily on certain features mostly physical but other characteristics such as charisma, confidence, being funny..etc. Given the vibes I get from you I think you lack confidence and even if you have one of the distinguishing characteristics you won’t be able to show because of lack of confidence as for physical appearance I would say getting rejected doesn’t mean you are ugly at does mean you’re average and that’s fine most people are average. as for beginning I would say aim for someone you are familiar with this will take a lot of pressure of you try to be flirty with them without being too direct show them that you care and try to build confidence that depend on what you achieve not how many girls you score.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-02-09T20:14:14+00:00

By focusing on what women consider high value.

The superficial stuff is what MENs minds consider high value.

A strong internal core that can't be swayed in the face of beauty or duress is what women consider high value.

The woman will choose the guy she feels safest with and the most charmed by 1000% of the time regardless of all other variables.

HoneydewOne48 · 2024-02-10T11:05:34+00:00

ACTUALS :

Be the most charming, fun, assertive, attractive 5'9" Guy out there. If you think you're ugly, it's fine. Chances are that you are. And you can't do anything about it. We're born with what we are born with. But if you strip down Brad Pitt off his grooming and hair and makeup, dude looks like a monkey. Don't believe me? Search 1902 Europe, USA, UK, Spain etc people on google. Back then styling and grooming were not that advanced, people barely took a bath in days, and that's what we're more or less supposed to look. If still not convinced search for Indian people 1902. And then search Bollywood celebrity 2024. You'll be shocked it's the same race. You're just not in sync with what style works for you.

My advice to you is, drop the game of beauty(not style) and height all together. Don't play the game you can't win. For example whenever there's Tom Cruise, the actor, let's take the, younger more famous Tom Cruise at his peak popularity, I can bet at that time 99℅ people in whatever social gathering they interacted with him, didn't discard him regardless what they thought of his height and nose and teeth. They were just happy to be around TOM CRUISE. Who wouldn't wanna hang out with THE guy.

Now I know it's Hollywood, the celebrity thing and all that. Well you can be the local group celebrity who's always doing cool things and really fun to hang out with. The best dressed, the best speaking and sounding, great swimmers physique, well read, smart, with his own mission which is going well. Who wouldn't like to be in that guys circle? Work on the things you can control.

Another example. Look at 'The Beatles' individually, except for George Harrison no one was as such pretty. Ringo was ugly as hell. But when you are doing well and don't care about other people's opinion about you, people find there own reasons to like you. Don't do their job of finding you unattractive, you are not them, you are you. You can only do one thing, that is to be more attractive. So do that.

PSYCHOLOGY :

Now another problem is that you might start it, but you'll always look for whether people are noticing it or not. So I must tell you that you are doing it for wrong reasons which kinda backfires in the longs run. Remember what I told you above, don't play the losing game. Doing it for others to notice, will make you lose. Why? Cause you can't control others. So what do you do? You do it for yourself because you only have an obligation towards yourself. You consider yourself to be that elite guy, so you do all of those elite guy attractive things. You dress like one. You talk like one. You behave like one. Why? Because you are one. There's no 'i'll do this and that', and then I'll be considered attractive. NO.

SELF ESTEEM AND PHILOSOPHY :

The way to think about this is that you are prince, who got lost in his childhood, so no one told him how to behave like a prince. But the prince now knows and he while already being the prince is just learning what he missed during childhood. And even if he learns it now, he still is the prince without needing anyones approval. Others can't tell him why he's less of a prince cause he still doesn't behave like one, they don't matter, their opinions don't matter to the prince. And even if they try to remind the prince that he is behaving not like a prince, He doesn't care. Why? Cause they're a bunch of commonors. They don't matter. You're still a prince, who has to rule. The Prince wants to behave more elite because? That's what a prince does. Which is to behave like a prince.

Leave your pages which you follow on body dismorphia, ugly people pages. They're just bad reminders of the era when you were lost and didn't know that you were a prince, right? It's the commonors collective. But you are going back to the palace and you have plans for the kingdom. Need to learn how to behave in the court. To give orders and make choices and wonder about why all these girls want me, who cares I'm a prince, let me focus on the princely things a prince should think of and do, maybe I'll pick a chick later when I feel like.

Go ahead young prince. You have an obligation to be the best version of you. Not for the people to recognize and validate but because you were kept out of what you anyway should have been. Take it back cause that's your true identity.

CONCLUSION/TLDR :

Others don't matter, be it other men with height and pretty faces or your circle and women reminding you that you lack. You are the center of your thought. Others, untill they are adding any value to your life can't effect you much by their opinions. They will still try but you don't care. Why cause they're others. And you are you. All you can do is thrive to be the best version of you cause YOU want it. If someone can't see it? Their loss.

MagnificentPandas · 2024-02-09T12:58:13+00:00

I’m 6’4” and if I had a dollar for every below average height guy who has beat me out for a woman (hint - they love guys who can make consistent eye contact at their level) I would be retired to a palace on an ocean cliff

The average woman is 5’4” in France. You are perfect size for them. I’m incompatible size in most of their eyes.

The height thing is way, way, way overplayed. It’s a disadvantage with most women. There’s a few tall chasers out there.

HarpertFredje · 2024-02-09T14:30:04+00:00

Date shorter girls. Or stop giving a shit. My female cousin's boyfriend is 10 cm shorter than her and they're together for 3 years now.

ExpensiveGrave · 2024-02-09T14:57:06+00:00

Probably a good candidate for reading Models by Mark Manson. It’s a quick read and you can find the PDF for it online rather easily even if you don’t wanna go to the library.

Looks are a very important factor these days but you need to find ways to get yourself near a demographic that is into you. To some extent, there is a “like attracts like” mentality. As long as you think women only go for XYZ, you’ll magically only interact with those women. It’s not entirely true but you’ll often look at interactions in such a way or say and do things that will be ever so slightly push away women who are fine with who you are.

Guys who are better looking than you definitely have it easier on average. No one should deny that… If they do then they’re lying to themselves and to you. But just cause someone has it easier doesn’t mean you can’t have some success yourself. I’d read the book tbh, you’re the perfect age and candidate for it afaict.

MagnificentPandas · 2024-02-09T12:53:09+00:00

I’m 6’4” and if I had a dollar for every below average height guy who has beat me out for a woman (hint - they love guys who can make consistent eye contact at their level) I would be retired to a palace on an ocean cliff

The height thing is way, way, way overplayed. It’s a disadvantage with most women. There’s a few tall chasers out there

mr-Hi-T · 2024-02-10T18:30:06+00:00

Contrary to popular belief a lot of tall guys are invisible because they don't display attractive mannerisms.

JackSquirts · 2024-02-09T15:29:33+00:00

Confidence and charm.

6372818949 · 2024-02-09T22:22:52+00:00

Visualize success and it will come. You're limiting yourself by your beliefs.

footballnotsoccerbro · 2024-02-10T02:17:04+00:00

You stop worrying about competition, hold your head high with self esteem, and automatically become more attractive

jafropuff · 2024-02-10T12:05:13+00:00

I’m 6’5 and my 5’7 friend gets more girls than me. Hope that helps

Fuzzy-Bottle-4138 · 2024-02-09T16:20:18+00:00

Start putting miracle gro in your shoes asap

StriveForGreat1017 · 2024-02-09T22:42:38+00:00

The dudes who I know who get the most ass in my friend group are both 5’8” , I swear to you these dudes smash some of the baddest women simply because they have GAME! They know how to make a woman feel good , which in actuality all she really wants . Yes height may help but it isn’t everything dude , especially if your freaking personality sucks . Work with what you got

omanisherin · 2024-02-10T00:01:38+00:00

Lead social events. Have fun things rotating around you constantly. DJing, running social events etc... If you are competing on physical attributes alone you are only using half the tools in the tool box.

zuperfly · 2024-02-13T10:27:17+00:00

Meditation

Miguell7 · 2024-02-09T15:37:27+00:00

By developing charisma, social skills and your personality.

bert_cj · 2024-02-09T15:47:28+00:00

What are you doing in France?

TRTGymBro · 2024-02-09T16:09:48+00:00

What would it take for you to start liking yourself and having confidence and feeling sexy?

Charge36 · 2024-02-09T16:19:10+00:00

Gotta let go of the things you can't change and work on the things you can. 5'9" is a pretty solidly average height for a a man. Really no reason to be insecure about it

thiswontlastlongv · 2024-02-09T16:51:43+00:00

You have to find your type… then find out what your type likes that is closest to what you can be

For example, if you like white girls… you gotta figure out what white girls like Latino guys and what do they do… for example white girl’s that post sports for example (I dunno just an example) if they like Latino guys… what kind? Do the like the family guy or the bad boy? Then become that

hoangkelvin · 2024-02-09T18:42:03+00:00

I think any guy can become attractive! Just need to clean up and stay lean.

Samuraibeb0p · 2024-02-09T19:32:12+00:00

Be the fun funny guy.

Pedro_Moona · 2024-02-09T22:35:16+00:00

Get a great career! Go for the hardest and most prestigious jobs and work your way down starting with med school. Then tell girls your plans and they will give you credit if your on the path.

Being 5'9" means get tall shoes and still put 6ft on dating profiles.

devilkingx2 · 2024-02-10T02:19:40+00:00

I know some better looking guys that me that aren't confident enough or extroverted enough to approach as much as I do

As a result I know more of the attractive women in the circles we share.

Realistically the person who dates those women will be the guy who is very attractive and also extroverted enough to approach, but if she has to choose between one of those traits the guy who actually approached her wins.

BraveOcelot1824 · 2024-02-10T02:47:26+00:00

platform converse bro and trash your ego and get a new one lmaooo

PapiG7758 · 2024-02-10T02:56:29+00:00

Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses

Bigscorpionn · 2024-02-10T03:47:13+00:00

Just be authentic aka just be yourself

SteveJabbaUK · 2024-02-10T10:37:53+00:00

Yes better looking men have it easier, but that's just a fact of life. Don't focus on it and work on yourself.

Gym
Skin
Game (go out and approach women, monitor, keep a journal, seek feedback)
Avoid places where you're liable to bump into better looking guys hunting for women (such as nightclubs)
Build a healthy and balanced sense of entitlement. How? By working on yourself, building confidence, and if you can, by travelling to other countries and discovering how much hotter the women are and who they date.

The first time I stepped foot in Eastern Europe my already developed sense of entitlement went through the roof!

zhantoo · 2024-02-10T12:15:27+00:00

Attractiveness isn't static.

What is hot to me might not be hot to you.

Even though that there are traits that more people seem to find attractive, there are people who find fat, skinny, short, tall, confident, shy, bulky, average, "hot" people attractive.

Some like celebrities, others despise them.

You can be insecure from being tall and feeling out of place.

So whatever combination you are, there are some who will be into you. A big part of game is tuning in to who those are.

Title	How do I compete (and win) taller and better-looking guys without getting hopeless?
Author	Powerlifting1234
Upvotes	79
Comments	94
Date	February 9, 2024 12:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1amn5yn/how_do_i_compete_and_win_taller_and_betterlooking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-compete-and-win-taller-and-better-looking.1427758 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427758

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