How do I finally drop the soft nice guy personality and become a bad boy?

seduction-ModTeam · 2024-04-10T23:06:38+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

-REXIA- · 2024-04-10T18:24:56+00:00

It’s not about being nice but being a good person, girls like bad boys because of certain traits of a bad boy they like, dominated and not taking crap from anyone etc. key is not to be nice but be a good person, be nice but to have boundaries. Most importantly is be nice because YOU want to be and not because you’re desperate to get something from her or them in general.

Miguell7 · 2024-04-10T18:09:50+00:00

Learn to be more authentic and honest. Both with yourself and others.

If you take authenticity and honesty seriously, there is no way you can behave like a wimp.

mafiargenta · 2024-04-10T18:32:59+00:00

Buy half a kilo amd start selling on the gram, there is no going back after that

Kobe_curry24 · 2024-04-10T18:54:16+00:00

This the last time I’m giving advice on this lmaooo, it’s not that your “nice” it’s that first of all you lack experience with women and 2nd you put yourself into covert contracts . You need to set boundaries with women and stick to them . Aja Cortes on Twitter wrote about this but also buy the book no Mr.nice guy you don’t need to read it all just mainly the covert contracts

MDoc84 · 2024-04-10T18:46:06+00:00

The book, "No more Mr. Nice Guy" is a good study.

Lee-Dest-Roy · 2024-04-10T20:40:49+00:00

Don’t be a bad boy it’s not who you are. Be a nice guy with edge. Get good at something be charming be well mannered be polite. Leave a good impression. Take pride in your appearance. Trying to be a bad boy will just result in you being a douche

Terminator2a · 2024-04-10T21:15:31+00:00

"nice guy" is being a people pleaser. You need to understand what that means (basically giving something valuable of yourself like your time, to someone that didn't earned it), then notice when you do it ("oh shit" I did it again) then notice just before you do it.

That's all, there is no "bad boy". Basically it's kind of the power to be able to say "no" to an attractive woman, because you have boundaries that need to be respected.

DaygameCode · 2024-04-10T19:14:11+00:00

There is generally speaking two types of guys

While things are not always black or white, and some guys might share qualities of the other type, we can generally observe that there are two type of guys.

1 - The ones who get friendzone more often than now are those who seek affection, are collaborative, not assertive, submissive, timid, cautious, nurturing, dependent, hesitant, indecisive, sexually repressed and restrained, rational and civilised with women, risk-averse, sensitive, reserved, focus on being romantic more than sexual, and they tend to be somewhat insecure with women.

2 - The ones who get more romantic/sexual success are dominant, independent, competitive, assertive, bold, daring, shameless, decisive, thick-skinned, outgoing, risk-takers, emotional, primal or primitive with women, adventurous, sexually uninhibited, sexually expressive,they focus on being sexual more than romantic and they tend to be confident with women.

Yes, this is a simplification of human complexity, as i am aware that you may have traits from either group, but those who tend to have more traits from the first group may see this as helpful in analysing what they might be doing wrong.

As you can see it’s not really so much about being nice guy vs bad boy. It’s more about masculine men vs feminine men.

Charm1X · 2024-04-10T19:16:44+00:00

Be yourself. Being a “bad boy” attracts unstable and toxic women. Most women who want peace and stability are going to seek the “good guys”.

sxyWatermelon · 2024-04-10T19:28:42+00:00

Every girl is different soft nice guys are highly desired just not doormats or ones without backbone. Many girls want a nice guy, it’s just that the self proclaimed nice guys are not as nice as they seem 🤷‍♂️

Double-Classic8251 · 2024-04-10T19:13:23+00:00

Its all about being a gentlemen bro without having ay expectation from others... Being nice and kind is the minimum thing that we can do for a human being. Remove all the toxicity from ur mind and think wise. Be yourself you dont need to change to anything.

KingLeoricSword · 2024-04-10T20:00:44+00:00

It's good to respect people, be generous, be kind, have empathy, at the same time be honest, have confidence, have passion, have principles/boundaries.

Wunder_dunder · 2024-04-10T22:21:00+00:00

39 year old man from Texas here….Stop trying to be a boy and be a man. A man knows when to be polite and kind and generous but also know whens to do draw the line and put your foot down. Some people have taken my generosity and mistaken it for weakness. They learned a valuable lesson. Become a man and stop focusing on being a boy.

rockdude625 · 2024-04-10T22:23:39+00:00

Get a leather jacket, it worked wonders for me

conor1927 · 2024-04-10T18:19:12+00:00

Start a martial art and commit to getting good at it. You can’t act your way into being hard. You have to be it

notathr0waway1 · 2024-04-10T19:57:40+00:00

I can't believe some of the comments here trying to argue about whether women like bad boys or Nice guys.

The key here is to be authentically yourself and understand who your target audience is.

Myself, I'm definitely a niche taste, but I am like Kryptonite to the small percentage of women that are attracted to me.

Sure, I work on being more comfortable and confident and grooming myself properly and so on, but I'm not going to change who I fundamentally am because I might get more pussy. THAT is a bitch move: losing yourself to get laid.

And yes, women are attracted to folks who stand up for what's right and are kind to weaker animals and humans. Helping somebody who can't help you is the ultimate power move. It shows that you have such an abundance of energy and resources that you can afford to give away your kindness and assistance for free.

Blitted_Master · 2024-04-10T19:03:16+00:00

Stop caring and prioritize yourself.

Cautious-Routine-902 · 2024-04-10T21:19:40+00:00

I can be “nice” I grew up in a time and place where as kids and teens we were always getting into fights, keger parties and weed and drugs galore it’s not about nice it’s about swagger and not being a fucking jerk in a world of simps show your balks brother!

Dward16 · 2024-04-10T21:26:59+00:00

Its a combination of self-amusement, boldness, and unashamedness. It is not about smoking, driving motorcycles, wearing a leather jacket etc.

"I want you but I don’t need you" - lets the girl know you have choices, allows her the opportunity to experience chasing
Untamable - you’re exciting, adventurous, spontaneous, she will never feel bored around you
Unwavering - no fidgeting, strong eye contact, no swaying, talk slowly and deliberately
Self-Amusement - be a net exporter of fun, able to have fun regardless of the mood of others around you

Conscious_Daikon_246 · 2024-04-10T21:35:17+00:00

Its not about having a bad boy persona. Dont be that guy. Its about the confidence, for me that came from experience of travelling,great guy AND girl friends, being fat as fuck and owning it, hitting the gym when i WANTED to because it was a challenge between me and my roomate. Ended up losing 60lb, my sister changed my style and haircut, and suddenly i was still the same me inside but the outside changed incredibly. I always had the idgaf attitude (im not asshole, im just direct for example one time, we were planning an expensive trip but friends of friends were just joining left and right , my core group was terrified of offending anyone, i waited and waited, everyone was uncomfortable but no was doing anything about it, i woke up from my nap, called the extra people and said sorry u cant come, not everyone’s comfortable with it, it may not be big big but to the girls in groupd, it was the hottest thing ever cuz no had the balls to do it) its being direct and confident. Once the outside appearance changed , it just gave me more confidence and girls were just receptive to that shit. I had a motorcycle when i was fat and i still have it now. Im still the same person that goes out to have fun for myself, not meet girls but they just gravitate towards u when you’re having fun.

burncushlikewood · 2024-04-10T22:40:17+00:00

For short term relationships women may find bad boys attractive, but for marriage they will choose nice men. There's a difference between being nice and being a pushover, it's not like being a criminal will get you laid, don't be a doormat and stand your ground and be firm, dont simp and worship her, make her chase you!

mredge73 · 2024-04-10T19:51:54+00:00

Don't try to imitate a bad boy. Be you, but a more confident version of you. She is a person just like you, not a mystical creature. She wants what you want. She has a life, you should have one too. She doesn't need a protector or provider. Don't be desperate, clingy, or needy. Show intent and flirt.

Her feelings are 10x stronger than yours, a single negative feeling or red flag can kill all emotional attraction. Don't ask deep questions, stay light and fun. Contribute glimpses of your life instead of asking questions.

safestuff987 · 2024-04-10T19:00:28+00:00

The key is acting putting honesty and authenticity first. Choose your actions and words more based on what you truly think and feel, instead of basing them on what you think others want to see from you.

The pitfall most nice guys have is that they're nice to the point that they will be nice even when it's dishonest to be so, mostly to themselves.

A trap that a lot of nice guys trying to drop the nice guy personality is they start acting like jackasses just for the sake of being jackasses. Be careful not to fall into that trap.

Basically just act true to yourself and accept that no matter what you do, someone is going to call you an asshole for it. You can't please everyone.

Be nice when you believe that it's warranted, and stand up for yourself when you feel like your boundaries are being crossed.

Fearless_Progress_49 · 2024-04-10T18:02:41+00:00

You don’t. Being nice is the ultimate strength with women!

ChicoBrillo · 2024-04-10T18:31:11+00:00

You don’t have to be a bad boy per se. Maybe just more bold. Not just in dating but in life. Like boldly take risks towards doing what you actually want to do. People respect it

JLifts780 · 2024-04-10T19:19:38+00:00

Join an mma gym+class and spar to toughen yourself up (hard to let shit bother you after taking a few punches to the face or rolling)

At the same time learn to stand up for your morals and beliefs (meditation, therapy, journaling)

What you shouldn’t do is act like a douchebag to people for the sake of being a “bad boy”.

AlMightyTOBIAS · 2024-04-10T21:44:41+00:00

Be the one who gives dick, not gets pussy or receives pussy. You GIVE IT. Everything you do coming from the heart but as an unconditional gift without expectation of return or reciprocation. Their instincts sense insecurity/fear instantaneously. So,

Learn self regulation mastery, be good at being a wall. A Boulder in her ocean waves. & Men are designed to give women correction when being disrespected. Many men have been brainwashed out of this healthy response.

a healthy masculine man will have higher standards for her than she has for herself. And he will lead her to meet them.

Men don't need to share their feelings the way a woman does. They need to master their feelings and they do that by leading. Master not putting her above any of your priorities you do daily.

ThroatFinal5732 · 2024-04-10T22:06:17+00:00

Being a good person can be attractive. Think about the princes in Disney fairy tales, or the male love interests in dramas. They portrayed as heroic figures, not jerks.

Being a bad person (a.k.a. jerk) can be unattractive. Seriously, have you ever heard woman say she had a crush in Jeffrey Dahmer or Hitler?

Problem is people often confuse being nice with being weak.

‘Nice’ guys are often too selfless, this results in them being: - Pushovers: due to having a “turn the other cheek” attitude. - Shy/Timid: due to not wanting to be annoying. - Not adventurous: due to having other priorities rather than living their life to the fullest. - Boring: due to being afraid to cross a line with humor that might be offensive.

‘Bad Boys’, in contrast, are often, selfish: - Not afraid to stand up for themselves: their own pride and well being is above all else. - Outgoing: due to not giving a fuck about what others think. - Adventurous: due to having a desire to indulge themselves and live a great life. - Funny: due to not being afraid of engaging in banter and hurt someone’s feelings.

But make no mistake. It’s the confidence, the fun, the adventure, that’s attractive, not the “badness”.

Badness in and on itself it’s a detriment, but it’s not enough to make someone unattractive. (Would you pass sleeping with a beautiful woman, if she were a jerk?).

And goodness, is a plus, BUT it’s NOT enough to create attraction. (Would you sleep with a morbidly obese woman just because she was nice?).

shortyman920 · 2024-04-10T22:44:05+00:00

You don’t. You discover your own values and beliefs, learn to accept yourself and your flaws and strengths. You grow them, become a better version of yourself, and over time people and women will see you differently because you’ll be more confident, authentic, and self-assured. And that’s badass.

Anything else is just pretending and acting out. Focus on your long term gains brothers and it’ll pay off

SaltoDaKid · 2024-04-10T22:46:11+00:00

It’s about being assertive not bad. You shouldn’t do nice guys hoping you get something out of it. Just be forward and open on that you want. Stop settling for someone who doesn’t want to give you that respect.

Significant_Mousse53 · 2024-04-10T22:47:57+00:00

Bite the head off a guinea pig.

coolwater85 · 2024-04-10T19:28:07+00:00

I got some piercings.

I bought a motorcycle.

Then I realized that it’s possible to be decent to other people without coming across as a softy, or having to turn into a “bad boy”.

Because pretending to be something that you aren’t is a bigger turnoff to the opposite sex than actually being a decent human being. And that confidence in being who you are is more attractive than pretending to be a “bad boy”.

Specialist-Source-18 · 2024-04-10T19:52:05+00:00

Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. Remain a good man who is honest with his intentions, but cultivate solid steel boundaries and don't tolerate bullshittery

PrinceDestin · 2024-04-10T20:03:33+00:00

That bad boy shit lame, you can be a nice guy you just have to know how to turn the girl on

Robpol86 · 2024-04-10T18:09:35+00:00

https://youtu.be/vM0D-BKjFe8?si=UlmW0mUPugi2mJC1

Ok_Wrangler_26 · 2024-04-10T18:33:44+00:00

Stop doing things only to please someone else, focus on yourself. Self investment is the best thing you got. Have your own goals and rules, live life by your own choice. Simple

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2024-04-10T18:37:09+00:00

Its not about being a “bad boy”. Its more about not putting women (or people in general) on a pedestal.

If your meeting girls at a bar, alot of gurls like the back and forth banter. Dont look at this girl as a potential future romance, look wt her like someoneyou will likely never see again so why are you not taking risks?

You dont have to disrespect her, but girls at bars like anchallenge. They are there for a good time out and to act like they did in college. They arent there for a BF, if you are giving Bf vibes then thats a problem. They have plenty of guys in their lives who give bf vibes, the club or bar isnt the scnee for that.

epimpstyle · 2024-04-10T18:58:27+00:00

Why do you want to be a bad boy? Just curious, how do you imagine being a bad boy?

LustfulLoveQuest · 2024-04-10T19:15:06+00:00

Women want a good guy with balls.

Also, read No More Mr. Nice Guy

Just_Party96 · 2024-04-10T19:23:23+00:00

You just gotta be one of them real ass ninjas about that real chit and not be one of those bish ass lames.

gr3nade · 2024-04-10T19:25:12+00:00

Start doing things that scare the absolute piss out of you every day. Do it over and over. Since it's in this sub, it's specifically talking to women and directly flirting with them. No beating around the bush. But do that with any area of your life you can think of where you're held back by fear. Do it long enough and you'll realize that you are the guy that does the shit that scares you and eventually, you'll drop the ultra nice guy stuff and stop caring so much what other people think.

They say respect has to be earned. This is doubly true for self respect. You feel like a nice guy and not a badass because you don't respect yourself because you are living out of alignment with something that you want to do most likely out of fear. If you start living in alignment with what you want and face your fears, soon enough you'll have earned your own respect and the nice guyness will go away.

Ghost_of_Chrisanova · 2024-04-10T19:52:39+00:00

Stop caring that much

bahadurJoe · 2024-04-10T20:06:12+00:00

Do what you think is right, not what is approved.

tunnelblick · 2024-04-10T18:15:27+00:00

You just need to practice how to tease and banter with women. You can still be nice. In fact, when you can do both, you are highly attractive!

Also: Try not to please the woman. Stay a bit aloof and fun.

trifling-pickle · 2024-04-10T18:55:50+00:00

Buy a motorcycle and start smoking ciggies.

LogicalChart3205 · 2024-04-10T19:12:46+00:00

Sell drugs

Epiphanic_Eros · 2024-04-10T19:28:39+00:00

Start by being kind, not nice. That is to say, help people because you want to see them with less pain and more joy, not because of some social obligation or calculated return on investment

Then, start practicing expressing your desire. If you’re interested in a woman, don’t hide it. Flirt and show her you want her (but not with outright sex talk, etc. boundary-testing subtlety is seductive).

It’s essential to always have her consent. But rather than asking for consent all the time, which many women do not like, learn to pay close attention to her facial excitations, tone of voice, and body language. You’ll almost always need to make the first move, at each step. But keep each step fairly small and incremental, and observe closely to see whether you should continue slowly, or withdraw and recollect.

If she’s not giving you the wet pussy vibes, leave her alone and go find a woman who does

vtribal · 2024-04-10T20:38:36+00:00

focus on what you want

you were not put on this planet to please others

FreeBowlPack · 2024-04-10T19:31:53+00:00

Lose some self respect, don’t have hobbies, and do a lot of drugs. Simple really

ironrobojock · 2024-04-10T19:52:23+00:00

Motorcycle…put an obnoxious exhaust on it…can do the same with a car in a pinch 😄

LDM123 · 2024-04-10T20:03:08+00:00

Cringe

ErrorLoadingUsername · 2024-04-10T19:48:46+00:00

Watch this and your set: https://youtu.be/xfeys7Jfnx8?si=RXo_va_Sha6WJdpq

Title	How do I finally drop the soft nice guy personality and become a bad boy?
Author	Different-Minute-310
Upvotes	71
Comments	103
Date	April 10, 2024 5:51 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1c0rsem/how_do_i_finally_drop_the_soft_nice_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-finally-drop-the-soft-nice-guy.1514653 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514653

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