I don’t get many dates but whenever I do, it seems that I catch girls by surprise when we finally meet in person.

MomsSpecialFriend · 2020-07-07T15:02:17+00:00

From a woman's perspective here, it is possible your online photos are off putting. Men should put a little effort to look nice and have a front facing photo (not from under your chin). The vast majority of photos I see are absolutely terrible and tell me nothing about a man's personality or lifestyle, where as I have a half dozen professional quality photos of me participating in my hobbies and interests. Sometimes I want to swipe right just so I can take the guy out and take a decent photo of him so he can find someone.

ghlibisk · 2020-07-07T15:50:48+00:00

I know if I met this chick irl I can get her!

Sounds like your time would be better spent approaching girls in real life rather than Tinder.

stapleduck112 · 2020-07-07T15:06:10+00:00

I understand this! I’m terrible at texting and my online presence! But when people meet me IRL it’s so much more easier

manonpoint_com · 2020-07-07T13:42:07+00:00

Similar to my situation. I also specifically design for this though--by choosing good, but not *too* good images, so that you can meet or exceed expectations off the bat.

YoungGucci66 · 2020-07-07T16:13:12+00:00

That's how I view it now, I know if I can get the first date I'm practically in at this point. My pictures also suck and I had the most beautiful girl I dated tell me 'I look way hotter in real life'.

My pictures are just god awful, I also look like a psycho cause I moved here for my ex gf a while back and now I don't have friends up here so I don't have any pics with friends.

iluvreddit · 2020-07-07T17:33:47+00:00

Similar experiences for the most part. God it’s a royal pain in the ass convincing an attractive lady online to meet, but after meeting I close 80%.

ComplexProjection · 2020-07-07T14:45:52+00:00

So the point you are defending here is that if a girl who is not interested in you would meet you anyway, you would be able to charm your way in, right ? If you really believe this is true, you should give up online dating and go for cold approach.

throwawaylike_shit · 2020-07-07T13:35:49+00:00

i definitely experienced this, i know that if i just meet her one time IRL it’s a wrap

John_Wick_Detroit · 2020-07-07T18:08:41+00:00

Next thing you know she likes you and is all over you. she didn’t even see it coming.

A girl knows whether or not she [would] fuck you within about 30 seconds of meeting you.

jasonof75 · 2020-07-07T14:19:11+00:00

Accidentally read "in person" as "in prison"

Gloomy-Jicama · 2020-07-07T17:29:05+00:00

Thats normal tbh. I really wouldn't think about it in terms of "winning her over" though. It puts guys in the wrong mindset. It makes them feel like they are selling themselves. In reality if a women goes on a date with you, she most likely already kind of likes you.

If a women goes out on a date with you chances are

A) She is in the right state of mind to go out on dates

B) She is also attracted to you.

If you want more dates and more options the right thing to do is to talk to more women (however you do that), improve your looks, and improve your pictures. It is NOT to "improve your openers," or anything corny like that.

2020-07-07T15:50:07+00:00

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JuanOnOne · 2020-07-07T23:52:42+00:00

It’s Tinder. If the girl agrees to meet up with you she’s already down to fuck. All you have to do is not fuck it up by being a creep. It’s not that much of an accomplishment to be honest.. now if this is true for you outside of online dating then that’s another story.

Grizzlies5003 · 2020-07-07T17:12:40+00:00

Never try to convince a woman to meet up with you. See yourself as the prize. Good job on the dates though.

Terrorinthecity1 · 2020-07-07T16:27:21+00:00

Yes I know but it’s so frustrating because I know in person it would be different. I have actually gotten a girl at the club who ignored me on OLD just to show you guys the night and day difference

aspiretobeinspired · 2020-07-07T20:11:54+00:00

What do you do on dates that lead to them being so successful?

Walripus · 2020-07-07T20:47:26+00:00

Nice, I’m the opposite. If I manage to snag a date from one of those apps, they usually realize I’m shittier in person.

ffivefootnothingg · 2020-07-07T21:04:32+00:00

From a female perspective, I can say that this is often the case with meeting guys online. It seems that a lot of men simply don’t know how to present themselves in the best light, take flattering photos (without a fish in hand) (also selfies aren’t it) or use interesting bios besides a silly office quote. AKA it’s not just you, most guys that are average online are above average in person

shiniXgami93 · 2020-07-08T01:49:56+00:00

May I ask what you usually so on a first date to leave a great impression? I have a date with a girl I really like next week and I want to make sure! Thanks

ThrowRAspicypizza · 2020-07-07T16:14:23+00:00

There’s nothing more gross than a guy KNOWING he’s got you in the bag. And as a woman, you can definitely tell when that’s the case.

Play-Mation · 2020-07-07T17:01:48+00:00

Same my pictures are bad and people tell me I’m more attractive in real life

climaxingwalrus · 2020-07-07T17:20:42+00:00

Get better pictures. Ask one of your friends whos good at photography to take a few for you.

Northren11 · 2020-07-07T19:05:36+00:00

100% relatable man wow 🏅

theosamabahama · 2020-07-07T19:28:41+00:00

I have the same experience. I don't know how to approach girls. All my dates last year have been arranged through dating apps. But once I'm in the date, I ace it. I'm very good in person once I'm in the date. And all of them have been successes. Some of the girls were surprised by me as well. I still need to learn how to approach though. I hate having to rely on apps to get a date.

RedditLocked · 2020-07-07T22:15:35+00:00

Exact same, dude. I get like one(1) match a month. My text game isn't great either. On the rare happenchance that a girl decides to give herself an okay to meet me, I know for a fact it'll go well. At first I thought this just means I'm getting super desperate girls. But recalling all my spontaneous encounters with girls(not many, am homebody), they go really well too.

For me, I think it comes down to my ethnicity, lacklustre photos, and general lack of enthusiasm in bio and texting. And frankly, I don't really care. I get to meet 1-2 new person a year, and thats good enough for me. Maybe because I'm young, so not in any hurry.

teacher1065 · 2020-07-08T06:58:43+00:00

So how did you do that? Can you provide some details? 😳

2020-07-07T15:40:11+00:00

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Dapanji206 · 2020-07-07T16:58:54+00:00

I can totally relate to this! Since when being good online is much harder than being good irl?

DevilMayCry · 2020-07-07T18:19:41+00:00

Incorrect use of impressionable.

Impressionable: easily influenced because of a lack of critical ability.

infatuating_ · 2020-07-07T18:59:25+00:00

YES! I have this same problem, I don’t have great photos and I suck at texting but let me take you out once and I promise you won’t get enough

theloosegauch · 2020-07-07T21:18:35+00:00

This is sort of how it is for me, even if I meet a girl in person, its hard for me to get the date. I've never just been on one date with a girl though. I usually end up going on at least 4 total dates if I can gef the first date.

HoosierProud · 2020-07-07T21:35:11+00:00

Man I’ve actually been dealing with the opposite problem. I get the date pretty easily and then after the date the girl isn’t super interested. I think it’s bc I come across as too nice and boring and needy. Luckily these are things I am working On, like sexually escalating And flirting better and not playing it so reserved and safe.

sikes2322 · 2020-07-08T01:24:29+00:00

Yessir! You gotta be super lame to not either make her fall for you or at least hook up because by the first date she should already be mega attracted to you through pics and all that.. unless you out here cat fishing lol

Terrorinthecity1 · 2020-07-08T01:47:45+00:00

Truuuu

friedpaco · 2020-07-08T02:49:01+00:00

Changed up my OLD profile and opening approach recently. A few fun and adventurous pics. A witty line about breaking rules. Open (hinge) with a few random emojis. A few playful messages. Grab a number, give her a call. One meetup and I can usually tell the girl is into me. But its not the same as cold approach. Cannot wait to get back to normal and do some cold approaches. But for now, this will do.

dang3r_muffin · 2020-07-08T04:30:45+00:00

Same here man. I literally just started using hinge because of this whole Covid thing. I thrive in real person interactions. I’ve been getting better at cold approaches (was used to being at college where it’s a lot easier). This whole Covid thing is really making it difficult around here.

Anyways, I’ve had hinge for 4-5 days and have been chatting with a few girls, one we seemed to be doing really well and she even asked me to show her how to slackline (one of my favorite activities) asked for her number so we could finally set something up and then boom, ghost.

I was never a fan of the dating apps because of how much work it felt like to hopefully get a few chicks but in with you 100% when I meet a girl and we hang out it’s a great time.

Torwulfer · 2020-07-08T05:21:35+00:00

Or, you can just approach them irl in the first place. And skip the whole issue of them not liking how you compare to the photoshopped model catfishes on tinder.

nukemycountry · 2020-07-08T11:19:26+00:00

Girl here. I was totally on the other side of this. Some guy was pulling out all the stops over text. He had an awesome personality and we had good chemistry. But he wasn't really my type physically. Classically handsome, but a lot thiccer than I'm used to, despite also being incredibly physically fit.

I was working weekends at the time and rapidly losing interest in online dating or the dating scene. I'd been on a lot of lame dates that month.

And then in a moment of weakness he finally managed to convince me to go out. The dude was persistent in just the right way. Not pushy or creepy. Just firm.

Anyway when we did go out I saw him walking down the road towards me, and if you can imagine love hearts coming out of my eyes that's pretty much what happened. The funny thing was that he didn't have bad photos. He looked like his photos. And he'd sent me more while texting. It was just his presence.

And it just got better from there. Girls if you've always dated skinny fit guys and do not know what it's like to cuddle a guy with a bit of chonk oh boi are you in for a pleasant surprise.

Terrorinthecity1 · 2020-07-07T16:23:21+00:00

You are %100 correct. I only realized the power of real life dating after covid so now we will all just have to be patient

sikes2322 · 2020-07-07T18:28:13+00:00

Bro I agree 100%... never had an unsuccessful first date ever lol!!

campskills21 · 2020-07-08T05:49:42+00:00

For Tinder/Bumble/Hinge once you agree to the date, meet up, all you have to do is stand up straight, act normal, have pleasant conversation, then more than half the time she'll go to your place and you'll do it that night. People like to have sex, it's the primary point of the app.

Terrorinthecity1 · 2020-07-07T13:58:56+00:00

This! I do the same thing. Literally had girl tell me I look better in person it’s a great tactic bro

Terrorinthecity1 · 2020-07-07T13:59:53+00:00

Lmao exactly bro. All you need is that one opportunity and you have there soul

Title	I don’t get many dates but whenever I do, it seems that I catch girls by surprise when we finally meet in person.
Author	Terrorinthecity1
Upvotes	519
Comments	155
Date	July 7, 2020 12:59 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hmu35o/i_dont_get_many_dates_but_whenever_i_do_it_seems/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-dont-get-many-dates-but-whenever-i-do-it-seems.1498335 https://theredarchive.com/post/1498335

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