Is cold approach worth it?

Deffective_Paragon · 2025-06-30T01:33:16+00:00

Attractive girls being bombarded by texts on social media may seem to be the ones who rule the game but actually a guy that is good at cold approaching is at the top of the dating game food chain lol

Rhino3750ss · 2025-06-30T01:37:40+00:00

Get "cold approach" out of your vocabulary. It's the p.u.a. terminology itself that puts u in "try hard" energy and makes womens safety senses go off, which is why "approaching" gets a bad rap.

I am convinced that there is no limit to how far you can get with a woman by way of regular conversations; talking in your default state like you would with any type of person in any normal interaction because it actually is a normal interaction. Talk to everyone the same and the girls will sense your congruence and lack of urgency and know they have the space they need to chase you and often initiate physical touch and/or sexual banter, at which point you know you can escalate.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-06-30T01:39:57+00:00

Let me translate what your friend is actually saying underneath those words:

"I am actually insecure, i think women would reject me if i did that, and i want to tell myself that they would reject you too to feel good about myself, however if you tried to do cold approach and found any success, no matter how small it is, that would make me uncomfortable because it would force me to maybe having to dare doing it to see if i can also get some success and if i don't get it, then i'd be forced to acknowledge that maybe you are more attractive than me, if i don't get that success which would make me feel lesser than you and i can't handle that.

"So i will convince you not to do it, because it's not enough for me that i don't do it, i need you to also not try it at all. In order to do so, i will search videos of women complaining about being approached to reanfirm my point, whlist choosing to not show you videos from women who complain they never get approach because that wouldn't fit my narrative"

Don't think for one second that your "friend" is telling you this because he is worried about your well being or anything cuz it ain't about that. He would be massively annoyed if you started approaching women, and even got numbers and dates. He wouldn't be happy that you did that, because he'd be jealous, and he would tell you that you were just lucky and that you have to stop.

Also, there is no such thing as "most women don't like this" or "most women like this"... What a woman says she likes and what she actually does don't necessarily correlate. It also depends on who does the cold approach, how he does it exactly which requires skills, which many guys don't have, and social intelligence.

When a woman says "i don't like bieng approached" she is imagining a disrespectful guy with an agenda catcalling her, objectifying her, who doesn't ask for consent, trapping her with no way out, who doesn't take no for an answer and harrases her permanently, creeping the hell out of her".

They are not imagining a guy who is respectful, charming, funny, authentic, relatable guy who respects her bouundaries, can take no without being wierd about it, and can make the conversation feel comfortable instantly...

Their mind is thinking of the worst type of guy doing the worst type of approach, so of course they say "No i don't like guys who approach me" as if all guys were the kind of exxagerated parody version they imagined in their head..

The kind of videos he shows you are guys who probably suck at approaching women and then women immiediately assume every guy is gonna be just as aweful as that guy. But we are all individuals, we all have different social skills, personalities and social intelligence.

I have approached countless women and most women have responded positively, there are a few here and there, who reacted uncomfortable and when that happened it was usually when i was a begginer and i didn't know how to do it properly.

Because the fact is most begginers suck at cold approaching and that's why they might create bad experiences for some women. But its not the act of approaching it's how inexperienced they are that's the issue. Begginers need to train.

So yeah don't assume your "buddy" is some kind of guy who speaks for every woman on earrth or that he has your interest in mind, he is only worried about his ego, that's it.

morphinetango · 2025-06-30T04:35:37+00:00

Nuance is key. For some, "cold approach" is when some sweaty drunk guy comes out of nowhere and starts hitting on the girl and won't take a hint. For others, "cold approach" is simply just saying "hi," making polite conversation--and based on the girl's response--deciding where to take it from there. You could say "hi" to the same girl on two entirely different days using the same lines and get completely different responses. Whether or not the cold approaching works on women has more to do with right time and right place.

In my experience, yes, cold approaching does work if you exude confidence in a sexy way (and not a douchey way). The women I have cold approached have commented that they find the directness to be very attractive.

witblacktype · 2025-06-30T03:16:15+00:00

Just try having pleasant conversations with any women that pique your interest. I would suggest by not even trying to get their number or see them again initially. Just get comfortable talking to women from scratch. Some will just straight up give you their number. For the rest, try to learn the signals that indicate her interest before you start asking women for their numbers or to meet up.

Effective_Flower_214 · 2025-06-30T15:49:57+00:00

Cord approach is not easy, nor efficient. Yet it gets results. That's guaranteed. For some it may take 10 approaches to find a girl that likes them, for others it may take 100 or 200. It all develops are you grow used to talk to new people.

BurnItDownSR · 2025-06-30T18:54:19+00:00

Artificial, desperate, and manufactured?

And what, dating apps are natural? 🤣

Women don't like being approached in a SHITTY way.

The unfortunate thing about this situation is that if you're bad at cold approach, you have no way to prove your friend wrong.

But I'll tell you, as a guy who stopped being bad at cold approach way back in 2015, women absolutely love being cold approached when its done well. Not even just from a dating or sexual satisfaction standpoint, even just from having a good day standpoint. Like, I've cold approached married women who didn't want to go on a date or give me their numbers but they still had a blast while they were talking to me.

Last week I approached a married woman who wasn't interested and walked away from that wishing I had recorded it so I could show all the doomers here what the real world is actually like, because we were laughing and high fiving and we parted ways with her saying, "That was great."

99% of the time, women will be rude when rejecting you only if you did something wrong. Its only 1% of the time when you meet an actual bitch. It's just that the 1% gets way more engagement on the internet and it skews everyone's perspective.

I wish you would get good at cold approach, because you really have no idea how awesome it can be when you are.

Edit: Well what do you know, I just asked ChatGPT to look for official psychological studies on cold approach and the research pretty much backs up what I'm saying:

Women’s attitudes toward cold approaches are not uniformly negative, but they’re highly sensitive to context, delivery, and perceived intent. Research supports that when done confidently, respectfully, and situationally appropriately, cold approaches can result in positive outcomes. However, when intrusive, persistent, or poorly timed, they are often perceived as creepy or disrespectful.

DeadDog_N_Space · 2025-06-30T02:37:23+00:00

Here is a conversation that I had with a girl last night.

Me: Most of the time I approach with the intention of getting a smile and bringing good energy.

Leave her feeling better than before she knew me. This may sound crazy, but a lot of the time she will ask for my phone number before I have a chance to ask for hers.

Her: Then you’re doing something right! That’s a great way to approach women in general. High chance of success I think. Coming from a woman’s perspective.

Me: I feel like most women are open to being approached as long as it's not in a creepy way.

Her: You would be correct!

epimpstyle · 2025-06-30T11:05:04+00:00

a buddy who says cold approach is artificial, desperate, and manufactured.

Yes, at some level, it looks desperate. However, talking with a woman because you're friendly and then building from there doesn't come off as desperate. Exactly for this reason, Mystery suggested talking with a woman over the shoulder (when you're sitting down) and acting like you want to leave. This gives the impression you're not hitting on her, but that you just happened to meet her and are talking to her because you're social.

most women said they don't wanna be approached.

Right! They aren't always in their best form and they give all sorts of signs they want to be alone, but guess what? The modern advice you'll find on this sub or on YouTube and TikTok is: 'Don't give a f**k, just go and shoot your shot!' and later they laugh about their own silliness and actually they even say: "It doesn't matter just have fun" - this is the modern way of seduction. In reality, any sane person who reads social cues won't be so delusional, it is not always to shoot your shot.

I think if you're above avg in looks, you stand a better chance.

The irony is that the entire seduction philosophy is created for guys who are below average in looks. The moment you look good, I don't even know what you're hoping to find in such forums (maybe just bragging?) because you are on a different level, the advice you give to someone who looks below average will not work! That's how I see "just say whatever you want, bro, it doesn't matter your opener", while anyone knows that a good opener will make things easier to continue. You're already disadvantaged by your looks, and now if you start with a creepy opener... what can be the result? It might work for a handsome guy but not if the guy is below average looking.

It's certainly better than the apps.

Right! I have no chance on dating apps because of my looks and age, but guess what? IRL, everything changes. I'm 47, and sometimes I date women in their 20s (though only once this year). I was more active last year, but now I don't like the energy of talking with ladies in their 20s. I'd rather prefer someone in her 30s because we have many more common topics to talk about, and everything gets easier.

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-06-30T02:39:45+00:00

Yes it works I do it all the time. In in alberta used to live on the island and did it lots. It works ur buddy is an idiot lol

dobbs1997 · 2025-06-30T03:52:30+00:00

lol yes, it’s worth it if you believe it is…if you don’t believe it’s worth it then it’s not worth it….so if you wanna do it then just do it….its LITERALLY just simply going up to engage a woman in conversation, simply going up, opening your mouth, expressing why you went over and then letting the chips fall where they may..thats it , the people that tend to overcomplicate are the ones that have never done it, they just watch videos talking about why it’s not worth it, or how it’s desperate….It’s just…talking, literally lmao…try your best to see that.

GroundbreakingTea102 · 2025-06-30T07:01:55+00:00

If you are wearing expensive clothes, watch and some gold it will be 100% worth it. Also if you come with a fancy car and throw around some lies you will be the "man". Otherwise - NO

bafun13 · 2025-06-30T08:29:02+00:00

New_Banana3858 · 2025-06-30T10:23:30+00:00

yes having great looks will be an asset too flirting with girls.

flirting is a skill, so is talking and the more you use it.
The better you become with adapting new path ways in your brain.

2025-06-30T18:01:18+00:00

Look, cold approach isn’t just about ‘hitting on strangers’, it’s a training ground for mastering ambiguity and owning your energy. Most guys choke because they want a guaranteed result, but life and attraction doesn’t work that way. You learn to thrive in the unknown, to hold your frame when the outcome’s uncertain.

That’s where real growth happens.

Beyond the technique, it’s a mindset game. Notice those negative thoughts creeping in? Flip them. Replace doubt with belief. Build your internal power. Only then can you “just be yourself” and that real self? It’s calm, grounded, magnetic.

Trying to be “yourself” when you’re anxious and distracted is like trying to sell a car covered in dogshit no one’s buying that.

So yeah, cold approach is artificial at first, but it’s the crucible that forges authentic confidence. No app or easy shortcut can give you that.

destroyallpotatoes · 2025-06-30T18:04:04+00:00

If woman don’t prefer it, you do it, is what I have learnt. You approaching a woman and doing it well is the best part of her day, Hands down.

Woman who say they don’t prefer it actually confuse excitement with anxiety, making the interaction overwhelming for them. You have to slow down with the anxious ones.

Don’t start the conversation with an outcome in mind and just keep telling yourself “I’ll ask this question and let see where it goes” and you will be surprised.

2025-06-30T20:06:49+00:00

Compared to what?

FT-COLINS · 2025-07-01T04:05:29+00:00

lf u want to know if its worth it, talk to some guys who done it. not online, real guys. you can see them around in busy areas like yaletown, stanley park, gastown, who knows, even metrotown. when you see pick up artists on the street, ask them about their results. this will allow you to know whether it;s worth it without having to do it

Royal-Extension-1312 · 2025-07-01T12:03:34+00:00

If you think women know what they want, I have some potentially upsetting news for you 😂

It's a pretty well established fact that women love outgoing, confident, masculine men, and you cold approaching ticks all these boxes.

witblacktype · 2025-07-02T09:19:59+00:00

Don’t be unemployed or in a halfway house. Work on yourself before trying to meet someone. Stable job, good hygiene, no drug addictions. Put yourself in a woman’s shoes. Why would she want someone with that much baggage who has so little to offer?

Also, stop with all this “cold approach” nonsense that PUA have sold you. Just talk to people. If you do, it’s inevitable that some of the women you talk to will show interest.

ArmitageShanks69 · 2025-07-03T21:09:10+00:00

Only if the girl you're approaching already finds you attractive. If not then you're just a creep harassing her.

rmbarnes · 2025-07-06T12:27:00+00:00

“ Also, on my city's (Vancouver) subreddit, most women said they don't wanna be approached.”

And most people would say they’d never buy anything from an online ad, yet online ads generate many billions in sales every year.

davidbasil · 2025-11-25T13:45:31+00:00

It's the most effective strategy when done right but requires years of experience. The better looking and well groomed you are, the more women will either give you that "look" or it will be reflected in their facial micro-expressions. Then you can stop them, say hello, what's up and so on. But again, you have to spend many many years roaming urban streets to understand that "energy".

GOVERNORSUIT · 2025-06-30T04:03:39+00:00

l asked myself the same question a few years ago, so l started talking to pua, and all of them told me they don;t get any calls back. l also observed a few of them in action, and alot of females responded well to it, but not well enough to keep in touch with these guys. l would also notice alot of the same pua out there day in and day out, and l;m thinking if it worked, they wouldnt be out there still. l remember one time, a pua was doing a cold aproach. this guy had to have done thousands cause l always see him doing it. and this female flags me, and one of my associates, and basically she wanted to talk to us so she didnt have to talk to the pua, and she said that the pua was wak, and called him out. funny thing is, my associate ended up asking her out, and she also turned him down too

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-06-30T01:50:31+00:00

Yes I'm a huge proponent of cold approaching as a medium to meet women, especially if you're not in the top 10% of men in terms of conventional attractiveness (tall, white, fit, and very facially handsome). For these guys, they can sit on their ass at home and just have the matches flood in on a dating app since pretty much every chick wants that guy.

For the rest of us more "normal" guys, you have a much better chance of getting dates via cold approach vs dating apps. Basically if you're a solid 6 or 7, you should focus on that as your primary method. If you're an 8+ (and have all 4 of the above physical traits), online dating might be a more efficient use of time.

If you're not at least a 6, you're pretty much invisible to most women especially the ones who are remotely attractive themselves.

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-06-30T13:10:37+00:00

Had an argument with a buddy who says cold approach is artificial, desperate, and manufactured.

He missed the entire point...day game/night game is just what it is, a game.

If you see that that way, you won't ever come across as being "desperate or needy."

Atibana · 2025-06-30T01:44:52+00:00

Almost every romcom or romance movie is some kind of cold approach. They don’t usually meet through mutual friends lol. Women want them you just have to be good looking or at least good at it.

Yes it’s good do it. I would say it’s easiest in heavily social contexts. Bar, party, club, local event, etc.

Them reading a book sitting in a park or in line waiting for a coffee is much harder and I have some reservations about. People just wanting their own space.

southparkslope · 2025-06-30T06:30:39+00:00

Bad mindset. Friends got a trash mindset too.

Title	Is cold approach worth it?
Author	Tyler020
Upvotes	18
Comments	89
Date	June 30, 2025 1:17 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lnuzdb/is_cold_approach_worth_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-cold-approach-worth-it.1555937 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555937

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