It’s not about you

Bulrog22 · 2021-05-16T13:54:18+00:00

Had a girl cancel a date when she found out I was a Sagittarius. Wtf lol

CalifNative73 · 2021-05-16T10:40:35+00:00

Timing is most important. Planting seeds may be more effective.

throwdontgo31 · 2021-05-16T13:05:49+00:00

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Tombambino00 · 2021-05-16T13:24:41+00:00

You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world but there will always be someone who doesn't like peaches.

redice326 · 2021-05-16T12:51:33+00:00

I needed this. Got dumped by a girl I was seeing for 3 months. She never gave the exact reason why. All she said was that I said something that turned her off a month ago. I asked her if everything was okay, she said yes, turns out it wasn't.

I tried looking for the convo, for what I said wrong, I just couldn't see it. I never said racist crap, never was manipulative, wasn't rude, wasn't sexist.

I kept thinking what if I'm a genuinely bad person, what's wrong with me? But maybe we just didn't click. Maybe it wasn't me. Maybe we weren't interested in the same hobbies. Maybe it was just stress from the pandemic. Maybe it was just our distance from each other.

gatreek92 · 2021-05-16T13:34:28+00:00

Or its really about you, she don’t like you, you are short/tall/fat/thin, she prefer other guys and thats fucking ok, cause you too have preferences.

FaithInStrangers94 · 2021-05-16T16:17:50+00:00

I fell into the habit of believing that I could get anyone to do anything with good enough game...I mean theoretically speaking you’ve had cult leaders convince hundreds of people to kill themselves...nearly anything is possible with the right persuasion right? Well whether or not that’s the case it’s definitely not a healthy mindset

Bergatario · 2021-05-16T19:32:39+00:00

I know that semi-incels won't believe this but as a man, I've actually rejected women that were into me and were 100% smoking hot for another girl that was still cute, not as hot, but had a 100% better disposition and compatibility and 100% less drama. You have to value yourself and only date women that will help you in your life, not drag you down, no matter how "hot" they are.

FIVE_6_MAFIA · 2021-05-16T16:49:28+00:00

Aside from all those excuses listed in the OP, it could simply be that she's not attracted to you and that's that.

Vandontgiveadamn · 2021-05-16T14:42:18+00:00

But 99 % of the time it’s either looks or money. Even if she is going through a tough time , she will never turn down a really good catch. It is YOU

2021-05-16T16:28:32+00:00

Life is for suckers

PayOk3987 · 2021-05-16T16:40:00+00:00

I been going out with this girl for 4 months and I just realized she used me for attention

blackstalk · 2021-05-16T17:42:54+00:00

The is the best thing I've read all day. Tons of cold approaches and numbers, but if they aren't on the same wave length as you, it's a guaranteed ghost.

Smile1802 · 2021-05-16T19:00:55+00:00

girl's always need something from you.. it can be money, popularity in school for example.

if you are ugly u cant date with a beautiful girl, cause she has a wide selection of beautiful boys and u cant be her priority. Being handsome gives you advantges ALWAYS.

StormSword77483 · 2021-05-16T14:58:57+00:00

I completely agree dude

ShinbrigGoku · 2021-05-16T16:46:50+00:00

Some girls will use you for attention

And thus the friendzone was invented.

EDIT: Full disclosure before someone misreads this, men and women CAN be friends the problem is more there are women (and men) who have friends of the opposite gender just for an ego boost and nothing more...what kind of mutual friendship is that?! And some women think that if a guy likes them but being friends will fix the problem, the reality is they're wrong.

jzadlv180 · 2021-05-16T20:09:46+00:00

I wasn't tall enough

banaaanaaa1 · 2021-05-16T17:34:32+00:00

There’s this guy i used to like so much. However i know he suffers with depression. He had an ugly break up with his ex-girlfriend... he would get in his head so much, he would get self conscious about me being out of his league and other little stupid things. I really wanted to be there for him and i would accept all good and bad.. there was something about him i liked so much. But at the end of the day, i could see he is on different journey as me, so the best thing was let it go.. it hurts but sometimes it’s just not meant to be. Sometimes people are at different stages of their life and they need to fight their battles and learn their lessons. If it’s meant to be it will come back to you...

MentalCelOmega · 2021-05-17T02:17:35+00:00

They're standards are just too damn high.

CalifNative73 · 2021-05-16T13:29:22+00:00

Damn! I really needed to be slapped with this today! Thanks.

zombieeyeball · 2021-05-16T14:34:01+00:00

i am ugly so haaha

Kitchen_Entertainer9 · 2021-05-16T16:31:47+00:00

Whats with this quitter talk, if its out of our control, whats the next move???

Reaver_ · 2021-05-16T17:14:24+00:00

70% Rule: 70% of the time a girl rejects you, it has nothing to actually do with you. She has a whole life outside of this relatively small interaction with you that can and is effecting how receptive she is to you approaching her. Could be any of the things OP listed. Looks for opportunities to learn and grow in rejections, but also give yourself a fuckin break once in a while my guys.

Impossible-Yam · 2021-05-16T17:15:58+00:00

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Thick_Ad_7637 · 2021-05-16T20:16:58+00:00

This is why an abundance mindset is just as essential as confidence, game, looks, etc. If your stuck in a lack mindset where you feel like each girl is the fricking one, then it don't matter how confidently you strut in gucci crocs while looking like you came straight off a magazine. You might as well be back to square one with all the 14 year olds, (honestly it's at all ages, i still catch myself doing this crap sometimes), who can't get over that one girl who told them she wasn't interested. When you have an abundance mindset, then you just don't care. Period.

Blaphrodite · 2021-05-16T20:20:21+00:00

So true. Sometimes it’s not about you. My ex pursued me, bought flowers weekly swore up and down of his love. We had one disagreement; basically I called him out on being flakey and told him how it made me feel. Next thing I’m dumped and he claimed he bought an engagement ring to boot.

Later tells me it’s nothing I did, never really says why reality turned the so called perfect relationship on its head.

It took a long time to accept it was not about me. It was not anything I did. I just happened to be perfect for love bombing and the object of his desire at the moment. He also had tons of other things going on that had nothing to do with me.

It still sucked. It still hurt.

Moist-Bill-8373 · 2021-05-16T20:30:45+00:00

Y’all think too much. Just let shit happen

2021-05-17T11:04:01+00:00

No...its about you.

ValuableCurrent89 · 2021-05-16T14:49:06+00:00

Umm...not really digging the whole “some females are just flaky” after using potential ‘excuses’ such as their fucking mom just dying...but couldn’t love the first bits of your post more!!!

As I know basically everyone in the globe can relate to this right now; this past year and a half has been absolute shit for me. I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel tho; and I gotta admit, ‘potential suitors’ went from lining up at my door to not even leaving a text. Recently, one of these gentlemen resurfaced in my life and upon catching up admitted that he was presently seeing someone, and had started doing so (initially) after I turned him down. I mean, w/ that light becoming brighter everyday, I hang on to the feeling everything turns out the way it will so no need to stay stuck in the -woulda’ coulda’ shoulda’s- but I ended up telling him as much as I legit hope it all ultimately works out for him, basically hitting me up because he was around and found out I was single for five minutes isn’t exactly a ‘starting to catch feelings’ escapade. Also, had to let him know, in full honesty-maybe something or other could have gone down between us-even just something casual-but I literally had a parent die and a long term relationship end less than a month prior to him asking me out.

Hate to break it to you guys, but most ‘females’ being flaky are truly just females with half a brain who have the maturity to realize when they need to take a minute to process things healthily-no matter how cute you are 😉

100% agree-don’t let a rejection bring you down-and (depending on the nature of that said rejection) don’t let it completely turn you off from a person either-(believe it or not 😒)-women need time to mentally process their personal shit too sometimes-most rejection has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Interesting_Rain_768 · 2021-05-16T12:42:41+00:00

Love this. So true.

FlanneryODostoevsky · 2021-05-16T15:05:00+00:00

Word up

SparklyChinito · 2021-05-17T00:51:50+00:00

I definitely needed to hear this. I sometimes feel like such a loser when all my friends are getting these hot girls, and I'm usually by myself because like 4 women have turned me down in a matter of minutes lol. But what op says it absolutely true, that the outcome is inevitable whether it's a yes, a no, a exchange in numbers, or a look of disgust.

DOC3RD · 2021-05-17T01:22:57+00:00

Sometimes we all need a slump-buster....

GlockBoa187 · 2021-05-17T10:56:30+00:00

Man spread this information to the young men coming up. Teach them the game. Fr fr. This is very good insight. Level the young men up. 💯💯

Ashido_Komaki · 2021-05-17T13:33:04+00:00

Life is RNG when playing in the field not everyone is gonna like or want you which is ok but damn it was sum fish I wanted to catch LMAO.

Bluecherrysoft · 2021-05-16T10:42:56+00:00

Chad never get excuses

mikejamesone · 2021-05-16T17:38:25+00:00

That's not true. Sometimes guys don't have any talent / skill and can't enhance beyond a certain point. If the return on the effort is low, it's often down to the guy lacking in a certain area. To say what you said is just wishful thinking and a way to absolve the guy of responsibility.

InvictaWing · 2021-05-16T21:23:40+00:00

This reads so incel-ly.

-WolfieMcq · 2021-05-16T20:22:07+00:00

Where exactly have you put yourself out there? Cell block B, levenworth?

bryann_99 · 2021-05-16T17:35:52+00:00

Does anybody think this BS works at all for anybody? Coping by using obvious platitudes does not work. It will always "be you" in all those situations therefore you always need to improve.

life_is_sadd · 2021-05-16T20:50:00+00:00

This is a lie. It's all about the 65%( looks) and 35%(Game). Truth hurts but we can't do anything about it

derpmaciaa · 2021-05-16T21:36:40+00:00

What a fucking bad deal then

JWilleAndrew · 2021-05-16T15:57:02+00:00

If she is wating till marriage then she is high class wife material ;) So if she says it go for it becuase she's a catch :D

throwdontgo31 · 2021-05-16T18:52:09+00:00

This doesn’t make me feel any better. Who cares if it’s me or them? It ain’t happening either way.

-WolfieMcq · 2021-05-16T20:19:48+00:00

While I agree that a million things control any given encounter, I howl that a woman not into sleazy 30-second grunts with cheap strangers is the broken one that can’t be fixed. So dig deep for that shallow boys. Women aren’t worth it. Your definition: hole.

Get a skin machine. It’ll never say no. And decrease your time invested to less than 30 seconds to grunt.

HorseJr12 · 2021-05-17T02:52:04+00:00

I, unfortunately often confuse kindness for interest, but I'm staring to understand that if they were interested, they'd make time, they'd text you more often, etc. I was messaging this one girl who I go to uni with, she would often text me to ask for help with homework. I tried to make small advances here and there like, "when finals are done, you wanna grab something to eat?", which she would always politely decline. It would suck that she wouldn't want to go out, but I soon found out that she's seeing someone. I'm glad to say that I really don't think about her much at all anymore, when before id just be sad and have her in my head for weeks. I'm happy to say that I'm just taking the time to study for finals, and even started lifting to look better, plus it'll give me something to do :)

Scorchyy · 2021-05-17T05:29:37+00:00

Well 80% of men are unattractive to women so most of the time looks are a big reason why you can’t get a chance with a girl, so yeah according to most women you are ugly but there’s nothing you can do about, you just gotta find the ones that think you look good

Affectionate-Can2460 · 2021-05-18T16:29:41+00:00

Love your post , should be required reading for young and old men alike.

loofyd · 2021-05-19T01:03:15+00:00

Don’t get your ego too invested in the game

Truer words have not been spoken

Theeaziz · 2021-05-20T17:10:26+00:00

😔

Adventurous-User5555 · 2021-05-22T23:37:34+00:00

Funny that most of these girls end up having way below average boyfriend.

klosog · 2021-06-01T04:14:07+00:00

Even when it's not about you about yoooou All the sudden, it's about you now, oooh

Complex-Armadillo-48 · 2021-06-12T01:50:02+00:00

Spot on don't get to uptight pay attention early because they have to be dishonest to attract you. 2nd don't pay attention to being single.Pay Attention to being single and available

Title	It’s not about you
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1329
Comments	273
Date	May 16, 2021 9:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ndkhaj/its_not_about_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/its-not-about-you.1284314 https://theredarchive.com/post/1284314

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