Negs only work if you're funny.

dimitrije83 · 2012-11-06T16:30:56+00:00

Everything works if you are funny.

itsmevichet · 2012-11-06T15:52:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

niggalai · 2012-11-06T17:33:43+00:00

reminds me of this.

puaCurveBall · 2012-11-06T18:40:14+00:00

I think it is both logically wrong AND cast seduction as a topic in bad light by continuing to misuse the word neg as another word for "tease".

A neg, as originally defined, is pretty strict in that it is specifically used to take a girl who has demonstrated she thinks she has higher social value than you, and lower her self-appraised value. This is done by a comment which is a half-insult, which is not direct enough for her to take offense, but subtle as that makes her turn her thoughts introspective and "get in her own head" which forces a re-evaluation of her placement socially relative to yours.

Meaning that:

A: it should rarely if ever occur, because you shouldn't be coming into a situation with low-social value signals.

B: It is a shitty idea, because it focuses on bringing her value down rather than raising / maintaining your own.

To try to re-define it as a "Tease", which loses the defining characteristic that a Neg is not direct enough to be taken as an insult (a tease certainly is, it can either be recognized as teasing or as an insult directly), does a disservice to the community as it continues to associate the term with pickup, and provides a semantic link to something very negative in the minds of the communities detractors.

It also muddles the water of why people speak out against negs. I'll say all day long a neg is a pretty bad idea, even though I don't feel the same about teasing (because they are obviously two different things)

wolverine_ · 2012-11-06T18:00:50+00:00

Whether or not negging actually means teasing, it's irrelevant to what the OP is trying to say. He's simply saying that guys who aren't the type to tease women shouldn't bother doing so because it is a technique that will often backfire.

OP addresses a relevant problem because many readers of seddit have happily added the 'neg' to their bag of tricks but will often use it inappropriately. A neg is a nonessential way of generating interest and needs to be utilized properly to be effective.

Negs will be effective once you have the humorous persona and level of comfort that the OP describes. If you don't have that yet, don't bother using negs.

CitizenShips · 2012-11-06T18:30:35+00:00

So from what I'm reading in the comments, here's what this post really should be saying: If you like devaluing people and generally just being an ass, you neg. If you like teasing people, and thus force them to justify themselves to you without insulting them, you tease.

Got it. Thanks guys! Clearly the OP has no idea what he's talking about, am I right?

(In case you didn't get it, that was sarcasm. I agree with OP)

angry_dave · 2012-11-06T17:44:18+00:00

The jig's up on the negging. Too many dudes latched onto the concept and did exactly what you say (I went a bit overboard at first too but learned quick) and now girls are wise to the game. They know what a 'neg' is and can immediately identify when some idiot comes up and tries to neg. So yeah, everyone back off and just be cool for a bit, the ladies are getting pissed

Naga14 · 2012-11-07T05:10:53+00:00

Negging has nothing to do with teasing man. They shouldn't expect that you are meaning any offense at all if you are using a neg. Any effects that occur come from within the receiving person, because of how they feel about the comment, not because they care about what you feel about it.

The reason negging is misunderstood is because topics like this perpetuate it.

SwissPUA · 2012-11-06T18:24:05+00:00

I mostly use negging in order to show higher value (little sister neg = teasing). Then from time to time I use them as an IOD or as a way to tell a girl to fuck off.

"Negs only work if you're funny" doesn't apply here.

insickness · 2012-11-06T18:36:20+00:00

Negging is NOT teasing. This has been discussed so many times on Seddit, it's ridiculous.

Negging is now commonly referred to as disqualification. It's not an insult. It's not teasing. It's disqualifying yourself as a suitor. It's used with very attractive women who get guys hitting on them all the time. These women assume you're into them simply because you've started a conversation with her. When you disqualify yourself, it takes the pressure off her.

"You're trouble. I should probably stay away from you." <--Teasing

"Me and you are too different. We'd never get along." <--Negging/Disqualification

The first is funny. The second is not. The second has nothing to do with being funny. It makes her see you as a challenge and gets her to try to win you over.

LollipopVodka · 2012-11-06T22:19:33+00:00

Teasing is lighthearted, fun, and can be done back and forth. Teasing is about laughter and comfort, resulting from something that is mutually funny. Negging, is about manipulation and self-esteem. Negging is usually an insult, disguised as a joke or backhanded comment, used to find out what a person is sensitive about, and use it against a person, until that person feels that they are LOWER than the "seducer." This makes it easier for the "seducer" to take advantage of them.

---- Negging was described as a way for a person to just talk to an attractive person who is used to lots of attention, showing that they are is comfortable by throwing out a comment. Pretty much a way for "seducers," to act disinterested in a person, because they are used to high levels of attractiveness, etc. But it has changed.. Now compliments are seen as signs of weakness, and insults/negging is seen as a seduction tool.

In my opinion, negging is for the people who don't know how to use charm to seduce someone. Negging is for the people who are not equipped to handle a person with a healthy view of themselves, and feel that they must destroy this self-esteem in order to actually have a shot. Teasing is for the people who are strong enough to charm, and smart enough to make themselves, and their conversation-mates comfortable through humor.

When guys try to neg me, I find them to be very weak, even if they have a confident attitude. They apparently feel so insecure about themselves, and so intimidated by me that they have to try to "bring me down a peg", just to have a shot with me? Noo. . If you are really as confident as you say/try to be, then seduce me in a real way- make me laugh, make me comfortable, and make it clear that not only are we both awesome, but that we would be an absolutely magnificent combination..

sexypirates · 2012-11-06T17:31:13+00:00

Never matters what you say, but how you say it.

Social proof is so much more effective in the long run though.

backtothegame · 2012-11-06T22:27:05+00:00

The other vitally important thing is that you only want to neg about THINGS THAT CAN BE CHANGED. If you neg about something that is an immutable feature of someone, there is no light-hearted way to take that. It isn't their choice they ended up with that nose, there's not really anything they can do about it now. They might pass it off as a joke but you can seriously fuckup a girl with that shit.

There is a difference between teasing and negging. A neg in my opinion is a specific type of tease with a specific goal. All negs are teases but not all teases are nges.

Jumpin_Jack_Flash · 2012-11-07T04:30:44+00:00

Nice shoes, you fucking clown.

Turned on yet?

throwaway59393 · 2012-11-06T17:08:26+00:00

I think the biggest issue is this: negging only works if you're not trying to hurt the other person's feelings. Anything else and you're just a douchebag.

Afeni02 · 2012-11-06T17:25:32+00:00

Where can I find these "improv classes" and public speaking classes, are they free?

prodikl · 2012-11-06T17:39:49+00:00

hear, hear!

god, i hate seeing the word "negging" anywhere, ever. but, honestly even without the name, we can call it "teasing" or hell, just "flirting"

for those who are terribly not funny and want to know how to, watch something like

workaholics
improv

I say workaholics because they use the classic improv techniques of "Yes, and then some" and the "bait and switch"

"What are you gay or something?" "Yeah i won the regional bj contest last year"
"I was flirting with this girl and she was being such a bitch to me! i mean, just cuz she's my best friends mom doesn't mean she can talk to me like that"

TheNewHP · 2012-11-06T20:11:50+00:00

I like this. I pretty much had my suspicions that negging was more like playful teasing and flirting (even if it wasn't, that's how I'd do it). I basically just gotta balls up and do it when I talk to people instead of worrying about their feelings so much. Not saying that I should be an ass and ignore people's feelings, just..not be overly careful and too much of a nice guy loser that bends over backwards.

BloodMuffin · 2012-11-06T21:15:51+00:00

Are you made out of paper? because youre a tearable person.

Something like that? not really an insult so as much as stupid pun

WaffleSports · 2012-11-06T21:32:40+00:00

I see you're drinking 1%...

chickenshitmchammers · 2012-11-06T22:22:40+00:00

I don't know man. I'm a pretty funny guy, but negging hasn't really worked too well for me recently. Turns out I'm pretty convincing too. haha.

draconianrule · 2012-11-07T03:06:00+00:00

Negs are teasing but teasing is not always a neg. A neg is to reduced an ego in a classy fashion. This is for social lubrication. If you intend to reduce a womans ego to get with her then you are in for a bad time. This will only make you suffer with her in the long run. A one night stand? Sure. A lasting relationship? No way.

Teasing should for the most part not intended to be insulting but instead supposed to induce a sense of lightheartedness and laughter.

TeaStainsAndTobacco · 2012-11-07T04:21:03+00:00

If you demonstrate enough value and speak with confidence then you could say poo-poo coco puffs and she would laugh.

cougarclaws · 2012-11-07T04:23:38+00:00

The circlejerk of misinformation on this subreddit is astounding.

luepe · 2012-11-07T13:14:38+00:00

Yeah, I've been going overboard with this lately. My friend who's got me into the Mystery and PUA etc scene tells me I always go one step too far. He was the one that told me I gotta neg people sometimes, and now he says he created a "NEG MONSTER". I know I gotta tone it down, but I kinda lose my negging control when I get drunk. Anyone have tips for someone who just goes overboard with this?

Some highlights (or... lowlights?) of my openers:

At a Halloween party:

Oh, you're Lara Croft? Not with those boobs you aren't.
That's an awesome "low income slut" costume. (said to a girl who wasn't wearing a costume)
Congratulations, if they were giving prizes on shitiest and laziest costume, you'll be hors concours. (to a girl only wearing devil's ears)

And some other ones even worse that I don't even recall now, but my friend said he was shocked. Weird thing is... none of those were met with much disgust and it did get the conversation going. I guess I'm doing at least something right.

The weirdest one that led to making out => "I got a friend that's terrified of hooking up with a tranny by mistake. You actually kinda look like a young boy, you don't have surprises in there for me, right? Oh, but a cute young boy, like one that a closeted gay movie director would be caught with or something"

A girl sits next to me and takes her shoes off:

Man, that's gross..

(some shit I can't recall)

HER: you know, I HATE when people lick my feet in bed!
ME: oh, that's perfect! Cause I would HATE to lick your feet anywhere.

... and she just laughed at it and kept talking to me.

You know, I started my rant here thinking about asking for advice on how to tone it down, but when I got to recalling my negs, it seems to be hard as hell for me to actually do a neg so awful that would get a girl to just leave. I still think I need some calibration to do, tho.

squarehouse · 2012-11-06T17:14:00+00:00

IMO, shit advice.

Negging isn't a comedy routine, it's a form of breaking rapport. If you get the reply, "Thanks...I think" you're doing it right.

I like to do it with double meanings. If she says she loves to bake, tell her "You look like a baker." If she asks what do you mean, just say "You look like someone who is passionate about baking."

Honestly, I think negging is mostly about being able to/willing to break rapport. If you can do the latter, you don't need to neg.

ForeverAProletariat · 2012-11-06T17:53:20+00:00

Nice try, Mystery. No one uses the phrase negging anymore.

2012-11-06T22:47:59+00:00

What's a neg????

grantrice86 · 2012-11-06T23:08:52+00:00

Let's not even use this term, "neg." Your "underconfident newbies" have ruined a term that was kind of shady to begin with. Let's be normal people, call it teasing, and just throw "neg" in the trash.

fuel426 · 2012-11-08T02:04:52+00:00

Yep, check. I have my negging license.

pickup_sticks · 2012-11-06T20:20:08+00:00

Thanks for posting this. Negging is the single most misunderstood thing about pickup.

Edit: Maybe this should be linked from the glossary? Even the example given in the glossary is bit ambiguous. My preference is something like "Nice nails, but their raising a red flag for me. They just scream 'high maintenance'"

2012-11-06T23:45:30+00:00

"WELL YOURE A FUCKING WHORE"

My worse neg ever.

Title	Negs only work if you're funny.
Author	itsmevichet
Upvotes	283
Comments	90
Date	November 6, 2012 2:43 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/12qarw/negs_only_work_if_youre_funny/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/negs-only-work-if-youre-funny.1342360 https://theredarchive.com/post/1342360

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