the SHOCKING reason you're not getting any dates

Can you guess the number one reason countless men struggle to attract women into their lives?

No, it’s not physical attractiveness.

It’s not material wealth.

It’s something that never gets talked about.

These men have a static mindset.

What Is A Static Mindset?

A static mindset is the belief that failure is a reflection of who you are as a person.

If a man with a static mindset were to ask his crush out on a date, but she rejected him, he’d think things like:

• “She rejected me because I’m too short.”
• “She rejected me because I’m an introvert.”
• “She rejected me because I am (Indian/Asian/White/Black/Etc.).”

By rationalizing your rejection in this way, you’re telling yourself women don’t like you because of static traits that you cannot change.

As soon as you believe that your lack of success with women results from something outside of your control (like your height), you have no reason to try to meet new girls.

A guy with a static mindset might see a beautiful girl walking down the street, but he’ll think, “Eh, she won’t like me because I’m too short.” Naturally, he won’t approach her.

Once you adopt a static mindset about your attractiveness to women, your dating life will become a self-fulfilling prophecy:

You believe that women will reject you if you ask them out, so you don’t bother asking any women out.

Ultimately, you prove your belief that girls don’t like you because you stop trying to attract them in the first place.

You stop playing the game, and you tell yourself, “See, I’m not getting any girls. I must not be attractive.”

I know all about what it means to believe you are unappealing to women. I used to have a static mindset. I thought that something was “wrong” with my personality and that girls didn’t see me as a sexually viable option.

And because I was fundamentally unattractive to women, I never asked a single girl out in high school.

Looking back, women flirted with me, sometimes blatantly. But I was blind to it because I had a static mindset.

Once, I was at a new year’s party with my high-school crush, and she leaned in to kiss me. I was shocked. But instead of acting like a normal person, I literally dodged her kiss and ran away from her without saying a word. I kid you not.

I thought this girl was leaning in to kiss me as a prank. I didn’t think it was possible that she actually liked me. So, to avoid getting rejected by her, I rejected myself.

Most of my self-rejection wasn’t that blatant. Still, when I was younger, I had hundreds of interactions with girls that I liked, but I never made any kind of move because I assumed I would get rejected.

The sad truth is that most men miss countless opportunities with women because they assume they’ll get rejected.

Identifying A Static Mindset

This all begs the question, how do you know whether you have a static mindset in regards to dating?

To know, all you have to do is answer one simple question honestly:

Am I regularly getting rejected by women?

Unless you’re gay or are in a committed relationship, you should be getting rejected often.

Sexual relationships are one of the most important aspects of our lives. So, if you’re not actively pursuing women, you must believe (consciously or subconsciously) that you would fail if you were to approach girls and ask them out.

If you want to attract beautiful women, you must replace your static beliefs with more empowering beliefs.

The Power of A Growth Mindset

A growth mindset is the belief that failure is a learning experience. If a man with a growth mindset were to get rejected by a girl, he would think things like:

• “She probably rejected me because I was too nervous. I need to keep meeting women until I get more confident.”
• “She probably rejected me because I did or said something that turned her off. I should look up advice about how to attract women so I can do better in the future.”
• “She might have rejected me because I’m not her type, but that’s okay; there are thousands of other great women I can meet. Besides, each time I get rejected, I become less afraid of rejection.”

Having a growth mindset doesn’t mean you believe that every girl will like you. It means you embrace rejection because you know that it’s a stepping stone towards success.

Most men who lack confidence around beautiful women don’t get rejected by attractive women.

Conversely, men who are confident with beautiful women have all been rejected countless times.

You might see a friend of yours with a beautiful girlfriend and think that he has it easy, that women just throw themselves at him. But I can guarantee he has been rejected by women time and again. He was just able to embrace those rejections and grow from them.

I understand this might be hard to believe. The idea that your mindset is the root cause of your success (or lack of success) in dating is a tough pill to swallow.

It’s easy to think that the guys who are good with women are just better looking or wealthier than you. But the harsh truth is that no matter who you are, you could be dating amazing girls if you put yourself out there and learned from your mistakes.

And unless you’ve been rejected many times, you don’t really know whether it’s something outside your control (like your appearance) that’s holding you back or if you just haven’t tried enough. Would you go to the gym three times and decide that your genetics aren’t good for building muscle because you didn’t notice any change? I hope not. The same applies to dating.

Keep in mind that girls will rarely make the first move—they might hint that they’re interested, but they will almost never do something that could get them rejected. If you’re not asking women out, you have no idea whether they find you attractive.

Let’s be 100% clear. Having a growth mindset doesn’t mean you should be delusional and assume everything is entirely under your control. Yeah, being good-looking is an advantage, and so is being wealthy.

Having a growth mindset means you believe in learning from your mistakes and focusing on the factors under your control before jumping to the conclusion that you’re a victim of circumstance.

Sure, if you’re short and bald, a higher percentage of women are going to reject you than if you’re tall and handsome.

But a man with a growth mindset believes he can overcome his disadvantages. He knows that he can become so confident that he can attract women despite his appearance. He knows that he can improve his personality to make women respond to him the way he wants them to.

He doesn’t think he can get every single girl, but he believes that he can date beautiful women if he puts himself out there and grows from his failures and successes.

How To Cultivate A Growth Mindset

So, how do you transform a static mindset into a growth mindset?

There’s only one way, it worked for me, and I’ve seen it work for many other guys:

Start throwing yourself out there and getting rejected.

This might mean approaching girls at bars and clubs, approaching girls on your university campus, or asking girls out on dating apps.

Each method has pros and cons, but if you’re not doing something that actively risks rejection, you’re not really taking action.

Hanging out with a girl you’ve had a crush on for three months isn’t taking action unless you ask her out on a date. Going to a party with your coworkers isn’t taking action unless you approach women and ask for their numbers.

I’m hammering this point in so hard because as a dating coach, I’ve had hundreds of men reach out to me and tell me they want to improve their dating lives. I ask these guys, “When is the last time you asked a girl on a date.”

Nine times out of ten, they say it’s been months (if not years).

I’ve seen the same pattern play out with my friends. A guy will complain that he can’t get any dates, but he hasn’t asked a girl on a date in months!

Fortunately, when you start throwing out there and asking girls out, some women will respond positively. You’ll see that some girls do like you. You’ll see that some girls are happy to give you their number or to even go on a date with you.

Most girls won’t respond that way, but some will. And as you start getting positive reactions, your mindset will shift. You’ll realize that many women will reject you, but not all of them will. And you’ll see that if you meet enough women, you’ll be able to find whatever kind of relationship it is you want.

This is easier than done. But if the strategy you’ve used up to this point hasn’t gotten the results you want, so what do you have to lose by trying something different?

Your ego might get bruised from facing rejection. You’ll have to deal with the stress and anxiety that comes with approaching women. But what’s worse, enduring some rejections and anxiety, or not being able to attract the kind of women you want in your life?

I know what I would answer.

The moment you accept that you can succeed with women if you take enough action is the moment that you change the course of your life. That’s the moment when you start on a path towards confidence and dating success.

Both a static mindset and a growth mindset create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whichever belief system you adopt, you’ll prove yourself right.