Straight from the horses mouth.

partypancakesbacon · 2021-03-04T04:22:05+00:00

Once we’ve achieved career success and home ownership it’s us who are weary about a partner moving in. I don’t want to play house with anyone. Just want to love and be loved.

Platipus6 · 2021-03-04T03:14:29+00:00

it’s going to be WELL ITS MY HOUSE!!

These types learned from their horrible father this type of power, control and domination. "Under my house, my rules" kind of shit, and he's been seething ever since.

They don't know how to love and never learned how to love.

Owning, possessing and controlling is power. Loving, giving and sharing is 'weak'.

MinervaBitchcraft · 2021-03-04T05:43:22+00:00

"Do not put faith in these ‘playing house’ relationships."

Especially when the house is YOURS! Make sure you pack his shit, toss it outside and change the locks BEFORE he starts banging on YOUR door. Nothing pisses me off more than women wondering how to get rid of a hobosexual scrote. We can't Erase/ Rewind.

Block, delete and obliterate.

helppleasekk · 2021-03-04T08:29:33+00:00

I had a coworker/friend who was in a terrible marriage with a lazy piece of shit and had 4 kids with him. She would drive all 4 kids to their sports practices and competitions, they all played sports so this was a regular thing, there was always something going on with them. Her husband never drove them or even attended their events. But he was okay with his wife driving this run down piece of shit car that could barely start and would break down often. He wouldn't financially help her fix it or help her buy a new one (she was a caregiver in assisted living so her income was next to nothing)

She saved up enough money overtime to buy a brand new SUV, her dream car. She put her name on it and didn't consult him in any way about it. HE FLIPPED. HIS. SHIT. He could not believe that she had the audacity to buy her own car with her own money and not put his name on it.

nymphaetamine · 2021-03-04T09:38:16+00:00

Yup, this is exactly why I have my own shit. I will never give up my bank account, my fuck-off fund, move in without a ring and my name on the lease, or let a man buy me anything more than a modest gift.

I definitely learned this lesson the hard way though. I let an ex buy me a car about 5 years ago. The fact that it was an oil-burning cash lot junker should have been a red flag but at the time, I thought it was a gift from the heart and a sign of his commitment to the relationship. Lol, nope. His justification for every terrible thing he ever did from the moment I drove it home was "How can you possibly think I don't care about you? I bought you a car!" He held that car over my head for months until I traded it in.

CandidKick · 2021-03-04T07:26:05+00:00

And you just know she is going to decorate, cook and clean the place. She’ll probably pay for half of everything while being his babysitter and pickme in bed.

Then, one day, he’ll kick her out one day for not agreeing with him one time. Only then will it become apparent how much she sacrificed, how much money and time and work she put in, only for him to come out on top.

Make your own money, buy your own house and add value to yourself. Don’t fall for their scams that deprive you of all of your money, time, emotional well-being and feelings of self-worth.

You are worth way too much to allow someone to steal yourself away from you.

girludontbringhome · 2021-03-04T04:23:59+00:00

Somewhat controversial: I think it’s reasonable if the couple is unmarried, and the guy is paying all the mortgage, then yes it wouldn’t make sense to have the gf’s name on the mortgage.

That’s👏why👏you👏don’t👏pick-out/buy👏a👏house👏with👏someone👏you’re👏not👏married👏to👏

She shouldn’t pay a dime on furniture and decorating the place if she does follow through with this dumb plan. But of course she will 🤡

randomgirlimok · 2021-03-04T05:19:11+00:00

If your name is not on the deed, don’t help pay off his mortgage. That’s like paying his car payment because you ride passenger in his car. He’s going to have that mortgage whether she lives there or not.

Turbulent_Gazelle · 2021-03-04T07:30:56+00:00

Men like to talk a big game until the woman makes her presence known. I'm sure it's a whole other story behind closed doors. I bet she will walk if he tries this.

2021IsOurYearToShine · 2021-03-04T14:08:05+00:00

I played house once.

Bought most of the furniture, decked out all the kitchen appliances (expensive as hell!), decorated into making it our home.

One day I was cooking him dinner, the next I was homeless. Literally homeless. Despite having put all my money into it.

Never, ever again.

drunkenwithlust · 2021-03-04T08:01:18+00:00

Like she's some pretty little piece of furniture or an ornament? Disgusting. I hate it.

I wish she sees this post and puts some thought into her life choices rather than staking up with a toilet seat of a human. Then again toilet seats are useful

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-03-04T09:53:45+00:00

"You can't hire a nanny because you are too stressed, you should be able to do this all alone while you also work part-time, btw it's my money and I decide what i do with it, even though you want to pay the nanny with your own money. But oh, I 'll be pissed if you don't have any money left for the grocery shopping you always have to do out of your own pocket and I won't give you any extra money for that. You are the reason we starve! Oh and if you want nice things or a trip to New Zealand, you can't have it, you don't work and contribute nothing, even though you do all the child rearing, household and bring money home from your part time job. Why would I care, my precious ass cannot use the money from your job because it now goes to a nanny because you are a useless mom."

This would be one of the bad outcomes if you choose to stay with a selfish man. A partner will consider every person he chose to live with. A selfish person shouldn't have a partner if they cannot get their shit together.

chainsawbobcat · 2021-03-04T12:38:01+00:00

YUP! what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine.

In other news I just accepted a job at 40k more than I was making and will be buying my own house in the very best future for me and my daughter 🧡

OrangeyPanda · 2021-03-04T17:12:41+00:00

This is why women are more likely to end up homeless and in poverty after divorce. Don't fall for it and don't trust. Always put your best interests first.

whadyamacallit · 2021-03-04T17:12:51+00:00

I own my home. My mum instilled in me quite young that I should be self-sufficient. But sometimes I look at my friend's relationships and get jealous that they have built things up together like buying property. Reading this story, however, reminds me that I've not missed out on anything other than the huge risk that one day a guy could turn round and tell me to get out of 'his' house. Fuck. That. Noise.

MissouriBlue · 2021-03-04T10:11:39+00:00

I’ve not only lost two houses in marriage (yeahhhhh), but now the house is in my name solely. At best, he has tenants rights...

ComfortableHead3 · 2021-03-04T10:36:06+00:00

And if in his name, you have zero credit buildup in yours so when things end as they often do, you have financial devastation in addition to emotional.

Low-Potential666 · 2021-03-04T08:11:34+00:00

Yup. Been there. My mom, my younger sister and I had all moved in together with my moms boyfriend. He wanted a place closer to his parents (even though we spend way more time with my moms parents and they help out more). So we packed our backs to the next town over and he bought a place in his name. Well they had an argument and split up a year later. We had three days to move all of our crap 23-25 minutes away back into our old house. My mom owned almost every single piece of furniture in that house. Luckily my older sister was still living at our old house and my mom didn’t sell it otherwise we’d have nowhere to go. She even tried reasoning with him to trade houses since her house was worth more anyways and we already transferred schools and didn’t want to transfer back. It was just so much more work moving out and back home and yet he didn’t want the more expensive house. He just wanted to be a pain in the butt. But then my mom and him got back together again a few months later and guess where I’m staying at again? His house

Yellowsunflowerlover · 2021-03-04T14:43:25+00:00

A trait that was learned by their father most likely, especially if mom was a SAHM.

Innanaspeaks · 2021-03-04T10:56:54+00:00

Edited

Euphoric-11 · 2021-03-04T13:27:10+00:00

Not to mention that anything she contributes with time or money will go to pay HIS mortgage.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-03-04T18:55:12+00:00

It's straight up dangerous to live with someone who has sole ownership of the home. This is asking for instant homelessness should he get bored and decide to "trade up". Ask me how I know.

thewetdog_ · 2021-03-04T13:37:48+00:00

I am wondering maybe someone can clarify: can you be on the deed without being on the mortgage?

Like he takes a loan to pay for it, and him, you (on the paid off part) and the bank (on the rest) are on the deed as owning the house or impossible? Just curious

MrsJohnMarston__ · 2021-03-04T09:48:27+00:00

Yeah that’s trash.

I live with my partner who owns his house outright because it’s an inheritance, but I said from early on this isn’t where I want to live long term, we need somewhere bigger, but seeing as I’ve inherited some money, I want my name on the mortgage.

The most important thing in my situation is that me and our daughter are on his will, but then I live in the U.K. and it’s not a super litigious society so if you can prove financial dependency, it often finds in your favour in those circumstances.

I’d never consider moving into a house which wasn’t owned out right, without being on the lease or the mortgage (in fact, when you take out a mortgage here you have to state whether there’s someone living in the property dependent on you anyway, so it seems pointless not just to co-sign anyway).

abstractsadgurl · 2021-03-05T05:03:20+00:00

This is kind of my situation at the moment except a lot of money that was put into the house he bought was from inheritance. It's honestly risky. I have a lot of money saved in case something does happen so I won't worry about that thankfully so I'm in a different position and I put a timelimit to how long I will stay in this relationship. However in most cases I would say this is a dangerous and risky situation to be in and my mom even cautioned me early on

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