Gendered differences in "crazy"

lollygagyo · 2017-01-07T08:33:59+00:00

There's a difference between slutty and over-emotional, tbh, that I don't think RP makes often enough. I am absolutely ''crazy'' (in the clinical sense) -- but my kind of crazy is not what RPers seem to be talking about from what I've picked up.

I'm cold and distant rather than overly-emotional. Under-emotional rather than fiery, with a tendency to disappear when it comes to relationships due to commitment issues.

Tbh, a lot of this behaviour is classic ''masculine'' crazy -- commitment issues, overly distant, workaholic, values ''freedom'' too much to pay proper attention to partner etc I find that many of the ''slutty'' women I encounter are much like me.

bonerdude420 · 2017-01-07T09:30:59+00:00

i wouldnt recommend a woman date a drug addict, drunk, violet or criminal man. Whats the problem?

Both men and women have rights to screen or reject people for whatever reasons we want, 'fair' or not.

dragoness_leclerq · 2017-01-07T11:58:41+00:00

Well, the manosphere isn't ever really going to address this because most things you'll find in that arena are pushing a "men are wonderful" narrative (supposedly to counteract feminism but that's a different topic for another day) rather than anything "fair and balanced".

kunlangeta · 2017-01-07T14:50:30+00:00

Few things.

First, what do men have to do with anything? TRP is for men, who pursue women. Therefore, it is not concerned with avoiding bad male partners for romantic relationships.

Second, all those women who are called crazy, but aren't by your definition, know how to behave. "Crazy" doesn't come at first date, or anything near it. It comes out later, when she got her hooks in a man and feels more comfortable. It is, more often than not, bait and switch.

Third, those "overly emotional" women treat "alphas" really great. Now, since hitting the gym and changing my behavior, I had women drive me around (cause I was drunk/high) or buy me beer (even though I make more than them), which was honestly something I never experienced earlier.

And finally, when woman is "overly emotional" people call her crazy cause she acts insane. No amount of logical reasoning will convince her, much better thing to do is ignore her and feed her or change her emotional state somehow. Call it however you want, but a lot of men aren't equipped to deal with that behavior (and honestly, with equal, rational human being, you shouldn't have to deal with that shit) and that is why they are called crazy.

DrunkGirl69 · 2017-01-07T13:22:26+00:00

I just think many men have decided they don't like or want to deal with women, so they just exaggerate a normal woman's emotions and call her "insane", when actually she is just an average woman with average unstable hormones and they have very low patience or tolerance for it because ultimately they just don't like women and don't want to deal with them.

Do you have any idea how sexist this is?

I've been involved with female mentally ill relatives and friends for a long time, And the sad fact is, IMO, if they don't face their issues with drugs/therapy, if they don't start being honest with themselves, they do end up alone. Whether we want them to or not.

25 year old men want the challenge and glory of being the guy that heals their attractive 25 year old mentally ill girlfriend. 45 year old men don't - they just want to relax and move on from the craziness of youth.

There's a huge problem in the mentally ill female community of telling each other that they are actually just normal women who had the bad luck of being born into intolerant families who can't handle normal female emotion. It's denial.

TRP_Hoplite · 2017-01-07T10:31:37+00:00

When men give relationship advice to other men they tend to focus on negative female traits simply because that is the target audience.. there is plenty of female advice outlets that tell women all about what kind of men to avoid.

As a man that had to call the police 6 times on one ex, and almost was shot over the next one, I find myself cautious of girls that are to crazy

lollygagyo · 2017-01-07T13:55:21+00:00

Hey for what it's worth I love crazy girls, they're my kryptonite.

borisisacat · 2017-01-07T19:24:51+00:00

"Crazy" gets tossed around way too easily. In my honest opinion, it's an excuse for dudes who can't hold their own in a relationship to deflect the blame onto their partner/ex-partner.

exit_sandman · 2017-01-07T12:36:29+00:00

Men are far more likely to be drug addicts, drunks, fatally violent, or criminals.

How about women not dating these guys (or just rewarding their behavior by spreading their legs for them)? From one of my favorite blogposts of all time...

I will have to use virginity statistics as a proxy for the harder-to-measure romancelessness statistics, but these are bad enough. In high school each extra IQ point above average increases chances of male virginity by about 3%. 35% of MIT grad students have never had sex, compared to only 20% of average nineteen year old men. Compared with virgins, men with more sexual experience are likely to drink more alcohol, attend church less, and have a criminal history. A Dr. Beaver (nominative determinism again!) was able to predict number of sexual partners pretty well using a scale with such delightful items as “have you been in a gang”, “have you used a weapon in a fight”, et cetera. An analysis of the psychometric Big Five consistently find that high levels of disagreeableness predict high sexual success in both men and women.

If you’re smart, don’t drink much, stay out of fights, display a friendly personality, and have no criminal history – then you are the population most at risk of being miserable and alone. “At risk” doesn’t mean “for sure”, any more than every single smoker gets lung cancer and every single nonsmoker lives to a ripe old age – but your odds get worse. In other words, everything that “nice guys” complain of is pretty darned accurate. But that shouldn’t be too hard to guess…

Whoops.

You know what's a fairly good draw for TRP? The fact that this doesn't happen. That you have guys who have cultivated the "stable & dependable nice guy"-persona, which included what Scott mentioned above ("if you’re smart, don’t drink much, stay out of fights, display a friendly personality, and have no criminal history"), i.e. they're what men - according to women - should be like, yet their love life consists of a long string of failures.

Believe me, I women really agreed on a dating/sex boycott for guys like that and also pulled that through, and broadcast their opinion far and wide, I would really like that.

Carkudo · 2017-01-07T09:49:36+00:00

there is a portion of men who think overly emotional women (which are a lot of women..) are somehow awful and need to be shunned and remain single forever?

I think you're conflating an unwillingness to date someone with a wish that that someone should remain single forever.

planejane · 2017-01-07T11:05:10+00:00

Men are far more likely to be drug addicts, drunks, fatally violent, or criminals.

Uh when it comes to drunks women are almost as likely to be so. And criminally, women have a higher rate of going to prison than that of men and about damn time too.

I find this is a bit sexist that the manosphere won't acknowledge that a woman simply being an emotional person does not equal "damaged", "unstable", or unfit for a relationship.

Because there's a point where one is too emotional and such is "damaged" or unstable to considered dating.

when actually she is just an average woman with average unstable hormones

I do like how you call the manosphere sexist and you make a sexist remark yourself.

ppdthrowawai · 2017-01-07T13:34:30+00:00

Mental illness is statistically gendered. Specific illnesses plague each gender at different rates.

NalkaNalka · 2017-01-07T14:55:09+00:00

Depends what kind of emotional Some kinds are OK for a relationship. Other kinds of crazy you don't want to touch with a teen foot pole.

It also depends how much you have to lose. If you are a prole with a criminal record and a dead end job you can have the luxury of getting with crazy emotional women. On the other hand if you have a creer, a business and a UMC lifestyle you simply can't afford do get involved with an overly emotional woman these days because she could bring your whole carefully constructed life down in one moment of emotional rage.

[deleted] · 2017-01-07T18:35:45+00:00

Anyone without tempered virtue is crazy. Both genders should select for eternal positives like loyalty, honor, bravery, strength, restraint, hope, joy and humility. No one will possess all at once but the more the better.

italkiesomuch · 2017-01-08T09:30:44+00:00

From what I've gathered, it's a matter of personal responsibility and how one allows the "crazy" to affect others, especially their partner.

There's a huge difference between a woman who recognizes she is being over-emotional and is simply dealing with it versus a woman who feels others should simply have to deal with that because "if you can't handle me at my worst..."

For example, I have a good friend from freshman year of college who deals with anxiety as I do (and has similar symptoms, such as major panic attacks). She does terrible in relationships because she identifies this anxiety as part of her personality, so if someone loves her, in her view they have to deal with her anxiety as much as she does. This also makes her less proactive in dealing with her anxiety. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like my SO has never dealt with me panicking, but I also don't make it his issue to deal with, and I make sure that I am capable of handling these things myself if need be.

TRP unfortunately fails to make distinctions a lot of the time which makes them sound like they paint women with the same brush more-or-less. And some do perhaps! But I think nearly every man at TRP would agree that a woman who proactively addresses her emotional issues is far different than one who does not, even if they both are "overly emotional."

SexyMcSexington · 2017-01-07T08:31:53+00:00

I’m not a manospherian. (Is that even a word? Let’s make it a word!) But all I can say is: yeah…so what’s your point?

dottywine · 2017-01-08T02:04:35+00:00

When they say "crazy" they just mean "My emotional intelligence is that of a goldfish and my SO is very inconvenient for me"

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drok007 · 2017-01-07T16:21:02+00:00

There are plenty of reasons men don't want to date women. Slutty, fat, and crazy are all reasons, you need to get over that and work on yourself.

Candy_Kittens · 2017-01-07T11:43:51+00:00

The word crazy can mean a lot of things.

DucksCanDance · 2017-01-07T15:20:18+00:00

I'll give a woman a couple passes on emotionality a month

Hell there's typically one or two days per month where my girlfriend is a total mess, I am okay with that, that's what women do, I've learned to handle it

wtknight · 2017-01-07T15:23:58+00:00

It can be tough for some men to deal with women and it can be tough for some women to deal with men. That's why you see so many men calling women crazy and why you see so many women staying away from duller, more stable men, sleeping with bad boys, or getting married to men who they think are a good fit and filing for divorce eventually. I don't think either gender is inherently better than the other when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex, and some men and women are just better at doing it than other men and women.

Subway_Bernie_Goetz · 2017-01-07T18:15:35+00:00

Don't know if this is true but the consensus seems to be that women are more likely to have cluster B personality disorders than men, especially borderline p.d. Men are more likely to have dark triad traits, which doesn't really seem "crazy" as much as just evil. Not having a conscience doesn't make you insane.

[deleted] · 2017-01-07T18:54:54+00:00

Seems like men seem to love to point out crazy women and how "unstable"/ "slutty" women are unfit for relationships.

What? What do you mean men love to point out crazy women and how bad slutty women are for relationships? Who says that? Only the old rpers, and those dudes are mormon, boring, irritating, exasperating(you know who you are, dude) and want to go back to the age before feminism.

Nah, brah. I'm good.

Relationships are by design boring. There's nothing in it except fucking the same girl and listening to her prattle about her day and about jennie from the block is a total bitch, and there you are looking at the chick you are dating, noding your head from time to time wondering to yourself when is she going to finally shut her pie hole up so you can go back to playing 60 more hours in a row of Doom. Really, who wants that?

Party girls 😍

Slutty girls 😍

Party girls that are slutty 😍

Sluts!

That's what we want, lol.

Well, let's look at male instability. Men are far more likely to be drug addicts

Guilty of charge https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSdBLAMbpzdvfOMm4VZxd0xYZ5MjndmujAKHUT6hpBATLDDYJH7bw

I drink so much I wonder when they are going to start calling alcoholism my birth name, lolol. Drugs make my life a lot easier to bare.

, fatally violent,

I am hyper-aggressive but only torwards other men. I like to get into bar fights just to see if I can get guys to try and kill me lololol. I also drive my friend's car while drunk, and I like to get into completely dark places with the hope that someone will try to mug me and kill me.

et there is a portion of men who think overly emotional women (which are a lot of women..) are somehow awful and need to be shunned and remain single forever? Odd.

No, the fat, ugly crazy chicks. The hot ones can be sent my way ;D

I find this is a bit sexist

Its a man's world, get used to it LOL

that a woman simply being an emotional person does not equal "damaged", "unstable", or unfit for a relationship

No, it doesn't make her damaged. It just makes her a brat. And I don't put up with brats unless they are so hot my hand gets burned touching that ass!

I just think many men have decided they don't like or want to deal with women,

lol, tell me about it. I really don't like to deal with women. The whole process of getting to know a girl, building something, or simply just trying to fuck a girl is so endlessly exhausting, bothersome and boring. Like, put out or don't talk to me, what's the point?

when actually she is just an average woman with average unstable hormones

See, that's not my problem. The fuck I care that she's pmi'sing? She treated me like shit, so why should I bother with her ever again?

and they have very low patience or tolerance for it because ultimately they just don't like women and don't want to deal with them.

Oh, I like women, alright. I just have very low patience or tolerance to deal with women because I see my friends who can be complete douchebags to women and not only do they get that pussy instantly, but girls don't make shit for them to deal.

Whereas, this dude >OncleJulian< has dealt with emotional nuclear warheads from chicks who were having a meltdown, either because their dad used to beat them up as kids, or because they lost their fucking grandma. So... gonna fuck me or not? Lol, when I was young(15-22) I would put up with this shit, even if I wasn't fucking the girl because you know.. guys go through a lot of inane crap to get the pussy or to keep getting the pussy.

Complete waste of emotions, energy, and effort.

Sure. I love women. But guess the fuck what.

I love drugs and booze more than I love women, and drugs have never rejected me or said, ''not tonight I am on my period''

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rbm6GXllBiw

HAHA

trpobserver · 2017-01-08T03:55:10+00:00

Men are far more likely to be drug addicts, drunks, fatally violent, or criminals

For the most part, these are relatively quiet, silent, depressive behaviors that occasionally result in explosive violence and noise.

Men just don't have the "screetchy" crazy that girls have, with the exception of very effeminate men. Men are just typically more calm and quiet. I mean, what do they always say about male serial killers and mass shooters? "He was quiet, mostly kept to himself".

woman simply being an emotional person

I agree, they aren't crazy, they're just being emotional women. I'm surprised you don't consider yourself sexist for thinking so.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2017-01-08T06:18:48+00:00

I find this is a bit sexist that the manosphere won't acknowledge that a woman simply being an emotional person does not equal "damaged", "unstable", or unfit for a relationship. I just think many men have decided they don't like or want to deal with women, so they just exaggerate a normal woman's emotions and call her "insane", when actually she is just an average woman with average unstable hormones and they have very low patience or tolerance for it because ultimately they just don't like women and don't want to deal with them.

And I find that statement abysmally sexist against both men and women.

Basically, you're saying that women are naturally irrationally emotional, and that this is inherent to femininity. And thus any man who does not want to spend his entire life catering to and soothing hysteria is a misogynist. You're presuming men have a duty to be a woman's "rock" and do so without complaint; you're demanding men fit into the role of parent-protector for a giant child.

This worldview is straight out of Carol Gilligan and Cultural Feminism. Its gender essentialist and sexist to the core. You are both misogynist and misandrist for reducing women to hysterical children and commanding men to live up to those traditional gender roles feminists claim to oppose.

I bet you probably criticize TRP for believing that women are "the most responsible teenager in the house," yet your argument explicitly endorses the TRP viewpoint that women are emotionally unstable and need men to protect them.

Of course merely having emotions doesn't render a woman insane, damaged, unstable or unfit for relationships. But some men actually want a relationship with a woman as opposed to one with a little girl and despite what certain fetish sites or (ironically enough) TRP will claim, not all men want to be your Daddy. There is a point where "having emotions" becomes "being a rampant emotionalist who demands all of reality change to accomodate one's feelings."

As many feminists argue, hating "toxic masculinity" doesn't make one a misandrist. I may be an opponent of Radical, Cultural and Third Wave feminism, but I agree with this. By the same token, hating the "toxic femininity" of emotionalism doesn't make one a misogynist.

despisedlove2 · 2017-01-08T08:01:52+00:00

No one likes to deal with instability. Not even women.

It is a different matter that they love drama.

As to unstable men, they would get shunted out of the human race quite quickly but many are alphas, the most prized men as far as women are concerned.

darksoldierk · 2017-01-08T20:21:37+00:00

Except, men who are drug addicts, drunks, fatally violent or criminals are shunned. Women aren't going around saying that men with these qualities are fit for relationships. If anything, women are doing the opposite. They are not only treating extreme negative behaviours like these as an indicator of a "damaged" man, but are also treating completely normal masculine behaviour as behaviour that is unfit for relationships (ie. "toxic masculinity").

Men and women are different. Their version of "crazy" is different. A man who is overly violent or a drug addict or whatever is likely using those types of behaviours as a means of burying their problems. The idea that men need to bury their problems was, I would argue, created by women. Women are unattractive to men who talk about their feelings or talk about their problems. They see men who ask for help as weak. They say they don't, but actions speak louder than words. Men show that they want "strength" every step of the way. They want confidence (which can be a form of strength) since they require men to approach. They want financial strength since they require men to pay for dates. I can go on and on and on. But essentially they want men who solve their problems and who know how to deal with those emotions. Except, there are problems that can't be solved easily. People often feel trapped between a rock and a hard place. Men are expected to move the rock or the hard place on their own, but often, men aren't emotionally strong enough to move them, so, instead, they accept being trapped and try to forget about it via drugs/violence or other negative behaviours (eg. playing video games 24/7).

Men go through similar problems that women go through, but they are expected to not be emotional. They are expected to keep their mouths shut and either fix the problem or live with it without complaining. Therefore, when a woman is emotional, and when she behaves illogically, men notice it and point it out. Let me give you an example. One time, we went to this friend's birthday party. A guy and his girlfriend came, and the girlfriend decided that she wanted to order 10 appetisers for everyone. No one wanted those appetisers, but she ordered them anyway. Most of them ended up not being touched. When the bill came, she turned to her boyfriend and said "hey, can you pay?". He looked at her and said "babe, I don't have a job right now and money is a little tight. You are working, and you ordered the appetisers, so doesn't it make sense for you to cover it? I'll pay for my and your drinks, but you get the aps, I'll make it up to you later". Her response was "oh, don't worry, I looked at your credit card balance, you have like $200 available, just use that card". We were all watching this happen and looked at each other like "fuck, this bitch is crazy". You see, a man in that position, would not have ordered the appetisers, or if he did, he would have paid for it himself as opposed to forcing his unemployed girlfriend to pay for it.

DashneDK2 · 2017-01-07T08:54:46+00:00

Unstable men are (or at least ought to have been) sorted out from relationships by female hypergamy. Go for the man with a good job, not the drug addicts, drunks or criminals.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-01-07T08:39:14+00:00

Why are you pointing out "instability" in males if the post is about crazy people? That's 2 different topics

Most men call women crazy in a very specific situation. That situation is when she is looking for a certain thing out of paranoia and twists little things to fit that view. Like you say a literal, simple statement and she finds a way to complicate what you say as if there is some hidden meaning to it.

I like real crazy girls(most of us do), but not the kind that men often refer to as crazy

I'm actually dealing with a coworker who is one of these people right now, she is on another fucking level. It feels like she actually changes the definition of the words we use to fit whatever she wants. Like I told her that im not interested in a gf at all, she kept bothering me so I decided to fuckzone her and told her that we couldn't be friends because im horny and if we hang out I would try to fuck her. I was thinking this is a win-win, either I got a new fling OR I scare her off and don't have to deal with her anymore. Somehow she twisted this and said she wanted to be my FWB(but said she was gonna bring pepper spray with her??? are u dumb?), I thought in my head "ok but were not actually friends" but w/e. Next thing I know shes tlaking about meeting up at red fucking lobster and i'm like ???. She just uses the word fuck buddy to try and plan a date, as if I would go anywhere with her that didn't have a bed. I swear everything I say to this girl is 100% direct and clear, she not only tries to swing everything to her own desire but she confuses her self and has to ask me all these stupid ass hypotheticals as a result

Men complain about women being overly emotional, but we are complaining because those specific emotional changes aren't based in reality. They are a result of paranoia and overthinking. No man(hopefully) is complaining about emotions that have legitimate reasoning behind them. Men just want women to understand that we do not think about shit, there are no hidden meanings in our sentences, do not jump to any conclusions, all were thinking about is pussy(general pussy, not your best friends pussy) and our next meal

I'm not saying men don't lie, but there's a big difference between looking for lies and taking everything a person says and treating it like it has multiple meanings behind it

Title	Gendered differences in "crazy"
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	292
Date	January 7, 2017 8:27 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5mjj7y/gendered_differences_in_crazy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/gendered-differences-in-crazy.270782 https://theredarchive.com/post/270782

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