I'm so crushed right now that I have to vent this diatribe somewhere...

Why can't a guy hardly break up anymore without some type of vicious back lashing?

I recently ended a relationship with a girl that has done nothing but destroy me in return. I don't know what to think anymore. Today I feel that I have gained a scar that will change my perspective on how the system works forever. Maybe I'm just learning something that everyone else already knows, and I've just been too naive about my approach in life.

I've been under the illusion that with commitment, honesty and communication you can make any relationship work, or at least end it in mutually non-destructive manner. And that obviously was not the case with my most recent ex.

I made the fatal mistake of dating within the workplace, despite the better counsel of my peers. We didn't just date in the workplace, we moved in with each other within months.

It wasn't long before I noticed a real deal breaker for me. She didn't return affection. Emotionally, sexually, or verbally. So I talked about it. Within the year long relationship, it was likely discussed close to 15 times. I gave her examples of how I always tell her things that I like about her, but I have no idea what she likes about me. How I actually enjoy sexuality, but seems like a chore for her.

Fast forward to the end of the relationship.

I have heard rumors around the workplace that she has been spreading about me. I warn her, that if she becomes an obstacle in the workplace, I will end the relationship.

She causes another scene at work and I follow through with my warning. I break up with her.

Two days later, I come home on my break to find her and a close friend of mine moving her stuff out. I thank him for helping her, though I thought it was strange that he didn't at least tell me he was going to. A mutual friend of ours tells me not to trust him, but I tell him, "Guilty until proven innocent."

I get in an argument with her about how she can't just move out over night without giving me time to find a room mate or giving me the opportunity to move out instead.

She moves out while I'm at work anyway, taking many of my things. I tell her she is still liable for the rent and she should return my belongings.

Later, I call my friend and ask him if he is dating my ex, and that I don't care if he is, he should just let me know to not make it awkward. He plainly states that he is not. Guilty until proven innocent.

She files a restraining order.

She states I raped her on the 8th of April... I look through my records. I had a gaming party at my place that day. She wasn't around and I had the text records and people to testify to prove it. But, I can't say it yet. I don't want her to know I can prove her lie.

In the mean time, almost everyone stops talking to me in the workplace. Everyone looks at me like a creep and a rapist. I only had a handful of people that came to me after listening to her and telling me that they know it's not true. I didn't even have to show the evidence to clear my name with them, so on the upside I learned who's got my back.

She uses the restraining order to remove herself from the lease.

Fast forward to the Restraining Order hearing.
She doesn't show. RO dismissed. I get her back on the lease with the dismisal.

I give her two letters on her car and on her desk at work telling her that she should return my things and pay me a months rent to cover the '1 month's notice' or I would pursue her in small claims. This was a bad move on my part. Should have kept it out of the workplace, but what I can I say... I'm still young and I'm still learning about all of the behavioral nuances in the real world, so bad move on my part.

She turns the letters into HR. They put me on a written warning.

She files another restraining order.

A month later. I have a new girlfriend. I'm chatting with her on our Messenger service at work (which is a required tool that allows internal and external contacts), when a message gets directed to my Ex stating "Hey, Sugar :)".

She files it as harassment with HR and they FIRE me. Great.

So, now I'm stuck with double the rent and no job. At least I can contest the restraining order with my evidence.

I go to court. She gives her testimony that I'm a rapist and invites her new boyfriend to the stand (my ex-friend that was helping her move). He gives a bogus testament that I had confided in him that I raped her and that I'm a woman hater.

I'm livid. I've got more holes in my back than I can stand.

I provide my solid evidence that we were no where near each other on the stated date of rape, and she just says that she was mistaken and it actually happened the day before.

The only evidence they have to indicate harassment is the two letters regarding the rent and my property and the stray message she received at work.

Restraining order sustained.

I'm worn thin at this point. My overall social group has been dwindled to just a few friends (some of the most solid friends ever, I might add), I'm out a ton of money, I lost my job, and now I have a restraining order against me for a year.

All I did was break up with this girl. For legitimate reasons even. If I weren't already in a great relationship, I would give up on long term relationships for good. What's a guy suppose to do anymore?

TL;DR: I broke up a girl who used the legal system to humiliate me, made me lose my job, and many mutual friends.

Edit: Damn. You guys really did cheer me up. And really great counsel. I'm really glad I posted this. As for where I'm going?

I'm going on with my life. I've got a lovely lady and some actual fuckin romance. I know what many of my friends are worth now, and gained others. Overall, I'll say net gain.

Reflecting on the matter I think my faults are:

• I did not heed the advice to not date in the workplace.
• I was a poor judge of character on two accounts.
• I moved in too quickly.
• I tried to hold a unsustainable relationship together too long.
• I shouldn't have put the legal letter on her desk (I would deem this one as my biggest mistake.)
• In all honesty, if I had somehow known that holding her to her lease would result in this fucking chaos, I would have just rather been rid of her and bit the bullet.

I don't think any of these are worthy of the treatment I've received, but that's what life dealt me. So fuck it, life goes on.