Just got told off by a woman for being mean to a guy who idolises/sees himself in Joaquin Phoenix's Joker

Love_Artemis · 2021-08-24T23:24:52+00:00

She probably wants you to be nice to him because she's afraid of what he'll do when called out.

Take a guess why people tend to walk on eggshells around guys like this.

Praximaros · 2021-08-24T23:37:03+00:00

Do you have to interact with this person? Not seeing how involving yourself with people like this is beneficial to you at all. Curating your experience to remove those who negatively affect your life is an act of self respect.

lilac-hiraeth · 2021-08-25T00:14:35+00:00

Be careful! I’m in a situation with a neighbour that is troublesome. He claims to have autism which, I believe but that doesn’t mean you have free reign to act violent or concerning, which according to a few of his stories; he does. He’s taken a liking to my dogs and we’d often just chat by the fence (this began pre FDS and before I was getting divorced). Well, eventually he started inviting himself over, walking by to see when I was home, coming into my yard to play with my dogs (who love him and now go bat shit crazy when they see him). Today he dropped off dinner he made me and my kids “just trying to help since (you’re getting divorced) your hands are full.” He can see my house from his and I’m 95% sure he will turn to stalking me once my kids are gone half time to my ex. I’m 7 years older than him and his friends are all online according to him.

This guy is massive in height and weight (6’3 and close to 400lbs). He could absolutely hurt me if he wanted to with ease. It’s a tricky line to walk. I feel if I ghost him he’ll ramp up just showing up, if I tell him I’m not interested in “being friends” he may get volatile. For now I bide my time since he thinks I’m dating (I’m not) and that’s been my line of defense.

If you can get away without altercation just ignore the bait. Putting men in their place is never worth the risk unless you have no other options. You aren’t his rehab. You aren’t intimately involved with him, don’t give him the satisfaction of your attention, they like it good or bad.

ETA: especially if they have that security net of using their mental illness to be abusive. Mental illness used as a way to excuse poor behavior is abusive in itself. I’m Bipolar, that doesn’t mean I get to terrorize anyone. I can express struggles that mental illness present in support groups; with my doctor, with friends but it should never come into play while defending my actions.

…he literally just walked by my house with some guy and dropped my name. Witness protection program anyone?! 💀

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-08-24T23:45:06+00:00

So appropriate how this comes after this week’s earlier posts about how neurodivergent men are given all the breaks and coddled no matter how assholish or antisocial they act. This is a perfect example; I’ve seen it happen over and over.

caytj444 · 2021-08-25T00:28:03+00:00

A few days ago, there was a Korean incelin a Joker costume following feminists with water guns and a mic at a protest. It’s clear those women felt terrorized. 😔

comet2004 · 2021-08-25T03:27:30+00:00

You know who else thought they were the joker? The creep who shot up a movie theater. Don't even care to look up his name.

Progressive_sloth · 2021-08-25T00:00:05+00:00

I have Asperger’s too. I’m a victim of severe childhood trauma too. Somehow I managed to not idolize psychopaths and instead identify with people like Bernie Sanders and Erin Brockovich. Funny how autism and trauma don’t have to fucking define what your values are. I’m so so so so so SO sick of that trope and high five to you for saying something. I hate enablers more than I hate scrotes, honestly. Well I don’t hate anyone, usually but you KWIM.

iamnotyourgirl · 2021-08-25T00:13:51+00:00

As a woman who enjoyed Joker, I’m still leery of men who did. Men seem to see it as a revenge porno for their hurt feefees and dry peepees. I almost feel like I didn’t watch the same movie as them. What happened to Arthur and his mother is a tragedy of a failed and corrupt healthcare and legal system, and and a rich old lech who was willing to throw vulnerable human beings under the bus to cover up his diddling.

Impossible_Mud_7599 · 2021-08-25T03:56:18+00:00

James Holmes, the Aurora, CO movie theater shooter, idolized the Joker, as well. There are news stories to back this up. Perhaps link her to those.

LWF3957 · 2021-08-25T08:00:35+00:00

Abusers are abusers. It has nothing to do with their pasts, their presents, or their futures. They feel entitled to certain behaviors, perks, etc. He will continue to abuse you and others until it becomes more difficult to abuse than to change.

As Lundy Bancroft says in Why Does He Do That?: "I have sometimes said to a client: “If you are so in touch with your feelings from your abusive childhood, then you should know what abuse feels like. You should be able to remember how miserable it was to be cut down to nothing, to be put in fear, to be told that the abuse is your own fault. You should be less likely to abuse a woman, not more so, from having been through it.” Once I make this point, he generally stops mentioning his terrible childhood; he only wants to draw attention to it if it’s an excuse to stay the same, not if it’s a reason to change."

Having a shitty childhood and more difficulties on top of that from being ND makes you more sympathetic and empathetic towards the plights of others, not less.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-08-25T01:44:59+00:00

These are the same guys who fail to understand satire and don't know that Tyler Durden was the personification of Ed Norton's character's mental illness...

ashcantcatchabreak · 2021-08-25T05:21:18+00:00

A lot of women are handmaidens of the patriarchy

carboncricketonice · 2021-08-25T07:31:48+00:00

I'm autistic and I volunteer to be first in line to bully these absolute nerds. These guys ain't clowns, they are the whole damn circus.

Spittens · 2021-08-24T23:48:15+00:00

Mental health issues, bad childhood, whatever caused your issues ok ..... still doesn't excuse being a horrible person. Everything is a choice, and this guy chooses to idolize the joker. What does that say about him? NOTHING GOOD. And that woman who tried to tell you to be nice is ENABLING HIS TERRIBLE CHOICES.

Any man that idolizes the joker is an instant HELL NOPE for me, and like the bull in the pasture, I will keep my eye on him at all times.

AbbyDean1985 · 2021-08-25T01:24:32+00:00

Walking on eggshells around that type of person reinforces their shitty behavior. Don't let them gaslight you into it.

FDSfollower1 · 2021-08-25T12:25:41+00:00

The famous criminologist, Stanton Samenow, write about the differences between antisocial personality disorder and autism.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/inside-the-criminal-mind/201406/autism-spectrum-disorder-or-antisocial-personality

Some of the men described on FDS seem to go beyond general male selfishness and immorality and misogyny and go more into more extreme criminal behavior. Dr. Samenow has a lot of content on his "concept of the month" which is worth reading if you are interested in criminality. When the OP in this thread said that a lot of people are autistic and they aren't psychopaths, she reminded me of what Dr. Samenow said that a lot of people had bad childhoods but they didn't turn into criminals.

Concept of the Month: http://www.samenow.com/concept.html

queen-wannabe · 2021-08-24T23:57:51+00:00

I hope you’re using a fake Facebook account, if he’s batshit crazy enough, he’ll track you down and stalk, harm or even worse, murder and rape you.

throwawayastrogirl · 2021-08-25T12:38:22+00:00

It seems to be a trend these days, men claiming to be neurodivergent to avoid consequences for their shittiness and to pin you as a bigot. PC culture to the max and all that jazz. My sister has Asperger's and has never, ever aligned herself with a female psychopath like that woman from Gone Girl. These men just want to fly under the radar while hurting as many women as they can.

Hikari3747 · 2021-08-25T17:28:50+00:00

I volunteer with alot of kids with different metal handicaps. My brother has autism and our childhood was tough but we aren't assholes.

Being neuro diverse isn't an excuse to act like a piece of shit, and neither is having a tough childhood.

just-peepin-at-u · 2021-08-25T12:51:51+00:00

People who go well into adulthood publicly idolizing fictional characters come off as immature, perhaps mentally unhinged, and always absolute idiots to me. Grown ass men in their thirties and forties posting shit about the freaking Joker constantly should never be dated.

I don’t care if someone likes comics or movies etc. I have a lot of fictional stuff I enjoy too, so no judgment. It is the total lack of social awareness with men like that which does me in. Like, they don’t don’t realize they look like a total dumbass doing this? How embarrassing to date someone like that, or God forbid, married to them!

After dating weirdos in my early years, I said no thanks. It seems men are more open about how ridiculous and childish they are than back when I was dating. When did it become acceptable to be so childish and perpetually in adolescence? If a guy likes the Joker and such, fine, but constant posting on social media and so on? No. Also, the Joker shouldn’t be someone a decent person feels a strong connection to imo, but I digress.

Ladies, it is beyond ok to not date men who embarrass the crap out of you with their weird cringe. You should feel proud of the men you date/marry, not have to sit there and be humiliated because a grown man won’t stfu about an anime or something stupid.

firenest · 2021-08-25T12:29:00+00:00

Please tell me you were making fun of him by referencing DA JOKER BABY.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-08-25T21:14:32+00:00

a guy who idolises/sees himself in Joaquin Phoenix's Joker

Please let me have a this moment 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Title	Just got told off by a woman for being mean to a guy who idolises/sees himself in Joaquin Phoenix's Joker
Author	thenotoriousaep
Upvotes	339
Comments	54
Date	August 24, 2021 11:19 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/payuan/just_got_told_off_by_a_woman_for_being_mean_to_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/just-got-told-off-by-a-woman-for-being-mean-to-a.1064901 https://theredarchive.com/post/1064901

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