I was going out with this man who showed lots of bare minimum green flags which are fair enough in the early parts of dating someone to me because we all fear love bombing. But he also showed some red flags (or rather, a singular red flag in increasing levels of intensity).

Blood orange: he mentioned that he has a gym partner and that the partner is a she. They go to the gym thrice weekly. Very subtle and my eyebrows were raised from the first date. I decided to see how far this would go.

Louboutin Red: he told me that his gym partner would only return his clothes if they spent time together. I told him that he should take his gym partner out the next day instead of me and he started getting all defensive and said "you don't know me like I know her"/"she's just a friend"/"I'm not interested in her in that way and I don't think she is either". Rude. Alarm bells starting to scream.

Ben Ambridge's "The Reddest Red": I decided to straight up ask him if he slept with her. He said yes. Blocked and deleted.

This is such a MESSY situation to dissect. So she's just a friend, he doesn't want anything to do with her romantically, yet he sleeps with her, and she wears his gym clothes apparently even when she was previously in a relationship with another man? Both of these people are terrible at setting boundaries and in my opinion and personal experience, people who are lousy at setting boundaries are also terrible at attaching in a healthy manner. Been there, done that, and thankfully no longer there.

Ladies, do NOT interact with people who are lousy at setting boundaries for themselves or people who are friends with people who are lousy at setting boundaries for themselves. They will literally suck the life out of you. It may be a man triangulating a FeMaLe BeStIe with you, or it may be a pickmeisha who cannot stop pining and whining over the fkboi who will never love her back. In this particular case, ESCAPE!!! at any sign of a female bestie. It is not worth the sleuthing to find out more about the situation because your gut feeling is never wrong!

I would like to also mention that his man showed "high value traits" - driving an hour to meet me, paying for me, is technically politically aligned with me, cares about sustainability and supporting small businesses, etc. Alas he has still fallen to the trope of the dreaded scrote as most men I have met eventually reveal themselves to be.

Other FDS principles with this man that ring true:

  1. Male projection: mentioned that I have a very good friend who is gay and was inspired to take up the same course of study as me. He immediately quipped "are you really sure he's gay?" (translation: I know that men go the extra mile for FeMaLe BeStIeS because they're into [f*cking] them and I am exactly this type of man so I need to ascertain whether or not he is the same)
  2. That leftist man who thinks that he is very leftist but is actually not leftist at all: this man can tell me that he doesn't support strip clubs or child actors all he wants but it means nothing when he's apparently into p0rno moves like being caught in the act in public 💀

Needless to say, this scrote was mad about me getting rid of him. I am pleased to have the highest honour of being the biggest bitch he has ever encountered in his life, given how all the other women he has met have let him slip and slide harder than a water park ride. It's high time we started crushing men's unchecked egos.

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[My prediction for the rest of this case: this man will tell his friends that I am not suitable for him because I am "insecure"/"jealous"/"crazy" and then also proceed to get together with his gym partner. I will continue on my trajectory to being the rich hot aunt who plays tennis competitively at age 50 - unbothered, moisturised, and protected from the sun.]