Why Being Called "Wife Material" or "Girlfriend Material" Isn't Always a Compliment, Especially If It's Said To You By An LVM - A lot of the times, they are projecting qualities like unwarranted excessive deference, humility, obedience, bangmaid duties onto their "ideal" wife or girlfriend

_cnz_ · 2021-11-03T20:18:16+00:00

West African women give the best advice i swear

Technusgirl · 2021-11-03T18:31:52+00:00

I've never in my life been called this, maybe that's a good thing, lol

dembar126 · 2021-11-03T18:57:35+00:00

I always wondered why my LV ex's never called me "wife material" despite me always believing I was. It took me most of my 20s to realize that the qualities I consider to be "wife material", men don't agree with.

Most of us have been through that phase with a man where we can sense that they don't have as many feelings for us as we do for them, so we begin brainstorming ways to "prove" ourselves.

I went through it with most of my ex's. I couldn't understand why they didn't see me for the person I clearly was, who all my female friends told me I was. An educated, funny, witty, independent, strong-willed person that's a pleasure to be around. Like how can all the women & gay men in my life point out these qualities I have, but the men I date never see them?

It took me years to realize that it doesn't matter how much I try to prove myself to men, because most of the time they do see the type of person I am. They just don't value the qualities I think they should value.

thepsychopathhunter · 2021-11-03T17:55:09+00:00

The video left out the watermark for some reason when I downloaded it, but wanted to credit the source: efplange_gh on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@efplange\_gh

Softrito · 2021-11-03T20:40:49+00:00

I was called wife material when all I did was sit there being absolutely nervous and uncomfortable. I gave them such a revolted face.

Meadow97 · 2021-11-03T21:33:00+00:00

She spoke Twi at the end (I'm Ghanaian and I guess she is too).

What she said meant 'continue' or 'keep on' - I'm guessing she means keep doing what you're doing to make these men say you aren't wife material. The gesture at the end, well, it could mean a lot of things 😂 us Ghanaians love to gesture!

crapeescape · 2021-11-03T18:42:49+00:00

They all say that about me until I open my mouth and have have opposing opinions…

Defiant_Marsupial123 · 2021-11-03T18:21:55+00:00

They don't even like the women who ARE "wife material."

They just envy the men who own them, and want to similarly abuse them. There are very few men who are "husband" material out there - most of them will ignore you at best, or neg or attack you at worst.

You wanna be wife material for that?

powerful_ope · 2021-11-03T19:28:29+00:00

My lvm ex that cheated on my while I was in the hospital said that I wasn’t “wife material” when he broke up with me. I was devastated at the time, but looking back I am so grateful I’m not “wife material” for a man like that. My husband is a hvm and would have never said or done that bs.

BansOffBobaTea · 2021-11-03T18:40:24+00:00

In response to me sharing that I enjoy cooking and cook all my own meals, as a compliment, an LVM said to me, "How domesticated you are!". Didn't talk to him after that night.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-11-04T00:05:36+00:00

Long before I got married, I had been cast as wife material. But like the Procrustean bed, when it turns out I don't really fit the trope, they would try to cut off the parts of me that didn't fit.

Basically, hell hath no fury like douche with no imagination whose stereotypes are disappointed. I put two men in jail. How's that for "wife material"? 😈

Edit: misspelled Procrustean. 🤓

toothfairyyx · 2021-11-03T18:05:52+00:00

COMPLETELY agree. It’s not a compliment and it’s actually quite objectifying.

It echoes the Madonna-whore complex also. Either we’re placed in the “fuckable but not dateable” box or we’re categorized as a “good girl” who will be subservient to her man’s “needs.”

akashyaboa · 2021-11-04T09:45:37+00:00

An ex once told me "you're not like other girls, you're less annoying". I felt so insulted even tho, I guess, he meant it as a compliment. I was feeling very down after that wondering "why am I not like other girls ? I want to be like them tho" lmao. And still got cheated on and ghosted so yeah, not a compliment

jupitarianrise · 2021-11-03T22:07:59+00:00

Facts. When I assert my boundaries, low-value men run away

Sometimes they shit test you. A man I was talking to started mocking me. It made him laugh, I didn’t pretend to find him funny. I looked at him in silence, until he stopped laughing, and I said he was funny with a straight face and a monotone voice.

He found me terrifying (his words)

This is all it takes for scrotes to be intimidated by you, ladies. They’re really out there looking for doormats lmao. I don’t want to date and love a man who wants to be in a relationship with a vulnerable, innocent woman with low self esteem. That’s a predator, not a normal person.

miaumiaoumicheese · 2021-11-03T19:10:41+00:00

Knowing what most of men look for in wife I wouldn’t want to be considered wife material

PicoPicoMio · 2021-11-03T20:46:13+00:00

Idk what that final gesture meant, but I felt that.

spiderunderweb · 2021-11-03T21:55:41+00:00

So true! Also her accent and speech cadence is so gorgeous, she speaks with so much eloquence 😍

Jay-Qualin · 2021-11-03T18:55:38+00:00

I have never liked the term "wife material" It gave off the feeling that the woman is a machine, an object to be evaluated for her bangmaid qualities. It puts the woman in the judged position. I would be fine with using such term only as long as there was an equivalent being used on men "husband/boyfriend material"

Parle_a_ma_main · 2021-11-03T20:54:38+00:00

Guys please help. I’m trying to find a tiktok that was posted here last winter with a woman saying “you don’t like women who listen to Meghan Thee Stallion, you don’t like women who like makeup? Don’t like. Go like men.” Or something of the sort. If anyone has a link to this post it would make my day💖

to_learn_to_fly · 2021-11-03T21:08:55+00:00

Not only isn't it a compliment, it's an insult for me that my LV exes deemed me wife material or even girlfriend material! LOL

Now I know it's because I was in my pickme mindset back then and shrinked myself to be low-maintenance, indiscriminate, docile and conflict-avoidant.

I don't want to ever be wife material again, only the opposite.

bluemexicanblanket · 2021-11-03T22:31:28+00:00

this woman is so so gorgeous wow

Ok-Yogurtcloset3467 · 2021-11-03T18:20:58+00:00

Shes 100% correct

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