Why Splitting the Check Isn't as Feminist As PickMes Think It Is

Bekinditsfree · 2021-11-15T05:13:48+00:00

Off topic but sis is looking EXPENSIVE in that pearl necklace 😍😍😍 👑

Ok_Passenger_5717 · 2021-11-15T15:27:36+00:00

Yeah... nobody wants a feminist except when it is time to pay. Suddenly, we should be equal.

Platipus6 · 2021-11-14T22:21:38+00:00

I'll go 50/50 on dates if he doesn't orgasm half the time 😂

AyemHerself · 2021-11-14T21:27:04+00:00

Men did a fine job of convincing us that the key to being equals was us doing more and them doing less.

FrowzyCosmogyral · 2021-11-15T00:31:59+00:00

I used to take turns paying for lunches and dinners and coffees in one of my most promising relationships. I sometimes wonder if i would have set a higher standard, if we would be together. It's hard to expect more after letting the man be a slacker in the relationship from the start, and after a while, his lack of ambition and his lack of willingness to share as much (proportionally) as I shared, made me end it (among other things, of course).

LonchuraStriata · 2021-11-14T20:58:25+00:00

I'm not American and have always been confused by this, because here it is actually the normal and polite thing that the person who uttered the invitation pays. Doesn't matter if it is a man asking a woman out or me taking my mom to dinner or hosting a business partner in a work context.

If someone says "I want to take you to dinner on Friday at X" and then expects the invited person to pay that's just unspeakably rude. It's like inviting someone to your home for tea and then asking them to reimburse you for the teabags and cookies afterwards. You are still the host, even if you are at a restaurant. Someone else cooking and serving does not mean all the other rules for being a good host are passe.

eatchickpeas · 2021-11-15T00:00:06+00:00

before the tradition was that the man pays for the meal and the woman pays him back with sex. men should pay on dates because it shows that hes serious about the date and that hes committed. men are predatory with women, most would date multiple women at the same time if they thought they could get away with it

if he pays half on each date then he can date multiple women and have his fun. for men they want everything from a woman but hes determined to give little back. they want our free labour, they demand the wage gap 'is a myth', they want our total undivided attention, they want to know every detail about our sex lives/history but how many men do chores around the house or contribute equally to relationships? its important we insist that men pay on the date, its not wrong for a woman to pay either but we have alot more to lose

Sewud · 2021-11-15T01:46:54+00:00

I think it would be feminist if men and women had exactly the same power and wealth to say that men and women equally treat each other to food EXCEPT the fact will always remain that men want to date women more than vice versa. The free market should apply to dating, if men want dates with women more than women want dates with men, the men need to make dating seem more attractive to women, not less.

That's what I've never understood about men complaining that they can't get matches on dating apps or that it's 10 men to 1 woman. And then nobody is suggesting to make dating better for women? Like here's a thought: make dating more fun for women until dating becomes as much fun for women as it is for men, then there will be as many men and women trying to date each other!

But men somehow refuse to make dating more fun for women? They continue to insist on dates that so not interest women and then continue to complain there's not enough women dating them? The whole dating culture needs to change until men and women want each other equally. Some ideas on how to make dating more fun for women: don't be a sex pest, don't make women fear they'll have to have sex with you, don't be jealous, possessive, dangerous. Make dating a fun activity where she doesn't have to pay for anything and she doesn't have to fear something awful will happen to her.

Just a thought. Maybe more women would come out.

leekykeeks · 2021-11-15T02:10:00+00:00

It's simple math and women are so dick-whipped that they actually believe behaving like a pornstar and paying for dates makes her a "cool girl". I hate this planet.

puma_sun · 2021-11-14T21:08:54+00:00

I used to a be staunch libfem and religiously split the check 50/50 because EqUaLiTy. Bullshit. Men who want to go half half on everything are just seeking to obtain personal benefits from a political movement that is systematically not meant for them. Sure, they get some benefits like gender roles being broken as a result of the movement's success, but it's not for them. It's for women. Literally, everything else in this world is made for men. Public spaces, thermostat temperatures, videogame culture, porn, uniforms, rights, workspaces, etc...

I've never had my girlfriends bring up EqUaLiTy when inviting me to dinner or spoiling me with gifts...because that's neither the time nor the place. My girlfriends pay for me or I pay for them because I care about their feelings and I want to do something nice for them. It's our personal relationship. Same reasoning should apply to men. They should be paying because they want to impress you and make sure you have a good time during the date.

sleutherino · 2021-11-14T22:13:59+00:00

If a guy asks me out, he's paying. That's not a men/women/dating thing, that's a "he invited me out so it's the polite thing to do" thing.

I'm not going to force him to, but I'll expect it. If he absolutely insists on splitting, then whatever, but he won't be hearing from me again, and I'll make that clear (after the fact of course, be safe ya'll).

I'm done being equal only when it benefits them. They don't seem to mind the inequality everywhere else, but god fucking forbid he pays for the date he initiated.

HereForTheFreeFoodOk · 2021-11-14T23:15:40+00:00

" Enjoy our relationship with them - less than them"

Tell it!

say10s-exwife · 2021-11-15T03:10:41+00:00

As a waitress, I always place the bill in front of the guy so that if he isn't the one covering it, they get embarrassed when their date reaches for it. And if a woman fights for the bill, I always hand it to the guy and tell her, "it's okay, let him get this" L M A O

Muffcakelord · 2021-11-15T19:01:50+00:00

If women want equality they should in reality refuse their partner orgasms until a 50/50 orgasm count is met, and refuse to do chores until 50/50 is met there as well etc. The last thing we should be considering is taking away things from our already raided plate. It's so simple when said plainly yet we keep pretending as if relationships are equal outside of pay - probably because we don't think we deserve love and respect.

You deserve love and respect.

thicctoria · 2021-11-15T10:44:07+00:00

Men want to have all the benefits their fathers and grandfathers had (basically having a domestic slave...) without any of the commitments or responsibilities. They use the word "feminism" to cover up just how ridiculous it is.

But also - if he's into you, he will pay. If he really sees a future with you, paying for dinner will be such a small price to pay and completely worth it.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2021-11-14T21:38:04+00:00

It’s because society / the media taught us that feminism is being equal to men in every single way. When in reality, you’re not actually showing him how “strong and independent” you are. On the most basic level, biologically, men are “providers”, women are not. So let’s not try be equal to that because that does not achieve equality. Let them provide. And that is what shows respect and investment to a woman and her worth. Spending your lower wage on… some guy doesn’t prove anything.

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-15T06:36:49+00:00

Amen. If he wanna see me, he’s paying. We put so much more efforts than them in everything, makeup, hair, outfit, OUR time we can be relaxing and we accept to go with a dude we don’t know at all. I’m not going if he isn’t treating me like i deserve

Title	Why Splitting the Check Isn't as Feminist As PickMes Think It Is
Author	thepsychopathhunter
Upvotes	1032
Comments	52
Date	November 14, 2021 8:50 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qtz4i9/why_splitting_the_check_isnt_as_feminist_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-splitting-the-check-isnt-as-feminist-as.1084076 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084076

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