I'm All For Feminism, But It's Kinda Making It Harder To Date

Aardwolfington · 2022-07-20T10:07:08+00:00

I've never read something so close getting how fucked up things are yet so full of denial as to fail to take that final step over the line.

Like the fucking door thing. Most men, I know I do, hold the door for anyone, man or women alike, so do most women. It's just common fucking courtesy. Getting any feminist thoughts here is just plain wrong, period. There is no excuse, having these thoughts are just wrong to have, period, and this is just one example. If you get upset, even a little bit, if someone holds the door open for you, you are fundamentally broken, and incapable of looking at the opposite sex without bias and have a lot to work out before you should be dating anybody.

elebrin · 2022-07-20T13:23:26+00:00

Look, I'm fine with a strong woman, in fact I prefer women who are independent thinkers because that makes them more interesting people in general.

However, if every single thing I do is wrong or offensive (which it is for some women) then forget it. I often feel like I should be walking on eggshells with some women but I absolutely refuse to. If you are offended by something I do or say, then you can sit there and be offended and I do not care. If that is going to be your entire personality, then prepare to just always be offended by everyone around you.

NutsLikeMelons · 2022-07-20T10:29:22+00:00

I literally do not talk to feminists any more. There is no upside and the worst case scenario is getting cancelled or fired. And I’m already married so my risk factor is lower than single guys (theoretically).

Every point she raised which was a problem caused by feminism immediately became a problem men had to solve or get over. Zero accountability.

MGTOW is going to explode not as a movement or a club but as a growing proportion of individual men doing a cost benefit analysis and just saying “no thanks”.

And feminists hate MGTOW more than anything because the idea of it scares the shit out of them deep down in places they can’t talk about.

Emet22 · 2022-07-20T16:30:12+00:00

Reading the article: "Feminism is the best thing to happen to this world since sliced bread"

Wow, lol

veedub447 · 2022-07-20T16:35:18+00:00

Ok so this somewhat attractive white woman living in the West believes she is part of an oppressed class. She 's stated that she is a radical feminist, and has written extensively on the subject, she's stated that she's offended by the slightest sexist remark and now she wonders why guys won't date her. No man in his right mind would waste his time with her.

bottleblank · 2022-07-20T11:37:59+00:00

It doesn’t take much for me to overanalyze a guy’s intentions nowadays.

You said it right there, overanalyze. You're inventing reasons to think they're bad.

I’m starting to get a bit of a stand-offish vibe from guys, like they’re afraid to make a move, and I think it’s because they think that we don’t need them anymore.

Well, gee, Jenny, whyever could that possibly be? Nothing at all to do with fish and bicycles, nothing to do with "strong independent women", nothing to do with telling men that any approach is harassment?

THE BEST DATING/RELATIONSHIPS ADVICE ON THE WEB – SPONSORED

The third advert in this "article", offering no insight and merely funnelling people into a service.

I instantly write guys off if they aren’t “woke” to the current social mindset towards gender politics and can’t let it go.

If that's all you ever talk or think about, I think you've got your answer. Try "being in the moment" and giving people the benefit of the doubt, not being some arbiter of acceptability.

However, women still like to be pursued (at least I do) and it’s unfortunate that by finally standing up for our rights and demanding respect, we’re totally scaring men away.

Sending the message that any unwanted attention is harassment will do that. It's not about not wanting women to get rights or respect, it's about wanting those things back and being treated like human beings, not subhuman criminals.

I think I’ve almost trained my brain to assume ALL men are here to try to put me down and dominate me when that’s far from the truth. I’ve made it kind of an automatic reflex at this point, though.

I suggest therapy. No, seriously.

However, due to the recent boost in feminism, a guy paying the bill could be seen as anti-feminist and no guy wants to be considered a misogynist in this day and age.

I'm sorry, are you suggesting that a substantial amount of dates fail because the man wanted to pay but the woman took it as an insult? Because I'm going to need a citation on that.

Feminism is something I’m passionate about, but I also know how guys can get insecure when I talk about it.

Yes, "insecure", that's what it is. Nothing to do with you being offensively aggressive towards their entire gender or indicating that you're likely to be controlling or constantly nagging in a relationship. No, obviously not.

I’m just pointing out that we’re currently in a sort of “us against them” mentality and it’s gonna take a while until it all smooths out.

Whose fault is that? It isn't mine. I'm not the one putting up posters telling everybody that the entirety of one gender is unable to understand why they shouldn't commit physical or sexual violence or suggesting that if members of that gender should so much as look at a woman they may be criminals and should be ashamed.

I think we’ll need to find a new way to be in relationships without falling into any sort of forced gender roles.

What if we want to assume those gender roles? If we don't, what's the alternative? How should I behave as a man in this brave new world of "woke" dating?

I guess guys are afraid that the way they approach women might offend us or give us the wrong impression. I guess this is a good thing in a way because now guys have to wrack their brain and kinda figure out how to treat women with respect and see us as whole people.

I always saw women as "whole people", but what you've caused me to do is "wrack [my] brain" to think about how stupid this situation is and who's causing it. You're not making men think harder about what women are, you're making them think about the value proposition of approaching you, which seems to be rapidly diminishing under threat of punishment.

A QUIZ THAT TELLS YOU WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK IN LOVE

Another ad. Four ads and a shitload of pointless ignorant blind unthinking fluff.

Jolly good show. Best of luck with your dating life.

Yoramus · 2022-07-20T13:52:50+00:00

Really an IQ killer, this article

mikesteane · 2022-07-20T10:14:17+00:00

"I consider myself a feminist, but I can’t lie"

She's implying that if she can't lie, she might not actually be a feminist. But actually she can lie. The whole piece is a masterpiece of self-deception, even if few other people would be deceived by it.

"Let’s just say I’ve gone on A LOT of first dates that never go anywhere." So sad, but so funny!

shit-zen-giggles · 2022-07-20T11:55:20+00:00

There's no date on this article, but it's old. I remember reading it multiple years ago.

Update: yup, oldest archive is from 2017:

https://web.archive.org/web/20171117135218/https://www.bolde.com/im-feminism-kinda-making-harder-date/

Angryasfk · 2022-07-20T12:23:06+00:00

Love the article: “Things are terrible, and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened!” And hopefully guys will find someway of doing what they’ve always done but somehow not not upset all these feminist tripwires I’ve set up. Even where she admits she overanalyses and that the feminist feed she gets has brainwashed her, it’s apparently men who are going to somehow solve HER problems caused by indulging in feminist theory.

It’s ridiculous, but hopefully she’ll eventually see what’s wrong with the ideology she’s been sold before it’s too late.

One thing though: “progressivists” keep insisting that “wokeness” is only some right wing (indeed “alt right”) conspiracy theory. Yet here she is specifically using the term an writing off anyone who isn’t “sufficiently woke” under the current feminist paradigm which she confuses with society as a whole. Most of what today calls itself “left wing politics” falls into this.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2022-07-20T11:27:56+00:00

That entire article is an ad. But I'm sure that radical feminists have a hard time dating. I shit test women on dates to see if they are radical feminists. I ask that if women use way more health care, shouldn't they pay more for insurance. I don't think so but hearing their answer gives me the information I need. Only one women in the last year has considered this question logically.

Because logically women should pay more for health care insurance. But we have empathy and don't want women to suffer.

2022-07-20T12:58:05+00:00

This is hilarious to me. As a 5’7 guy with a below average face, these “complaints” sound ridiculously spoiled and entitled. Women clearly do not have sympathy for the dating issues of men like me, so I certainly have no sympathy for their “issues.”

dw87190 · 2022-07-20T18:19:03+00:00

All I'm reading here is a narcissist carefully wording her disdain towards her targets not being a source of narcissistic supply for her. Some feminists just profile themselves for us

Baifomet · 2022-07-20T19:08:08+00:00

"Im all for feminism." There is the mistake right at the begining.

NoCommunication5976 · 2022-07-20T22:20:27+00:00

Feminism makes it hard to date because it portrays men as sexist and women as stone cold business women who have to manage 5 companies at once and don’t need no man. Ultimately, it creates a divide, because love is not a competition sport. It is about bonding. When a man and a woman are dating in a competition style fashion, it blocks out any bonding.

BastaHR · 2022-07-20T12:37:32+00:00

This is the stupidest article I've read in a long time. Šhe'd like to have a cake and eat it.

odysseytree · 2022-07-20T10:17:34+00:00

Why don't date male feminists then? Lol, because they are ugly.

TAPriceCTR · 2022-07-20T15:10:19+00:00

Good. Don't date. You're a strong independent woman who don't need no man. I know if I thought all women were malignant I wouldn't want to date them. Just knowing the ones who are get social and government support in their malignancy is nearly enough to make me go MGTOW. thankfully I married a woman who MOSTLY knows feminism is full of shit.

shadowwalker989 · 2022-07-20T20:11:12+00:00

I think it's most women want to be treated like how men treat each other but then also want a night in shining armour when it suits them. Fact is most women want everything their way no compromise regardless of what they say until it comes to a time in their lives when they are ready to settle down and in todays world that's labelled as a "modern women" but if a guy does this he's toxic.

Ciaran1819 · 2022-07-20T21:34:45+00:00

‘Guys starting to think we don’t need them anymore’ well you’ve all spent enough time making it as clear as humanly possible you don’t, but guess what neither do we

bilgediver · 2022-07-20T17:09:34+00:00

What bothers me is the rhetoric is purely about a way for them to justify being toxic people.

Insufferable, emotionally unstable = "Strong" "You can't handle me"

McFeely_Smackup · 2022-07-20T18:11:07+00:00

4 ONE LITTLE ANTI-FEMINIST COMMENT CAN COMPLETELY TURN ME OFF.

5 IT’S LIKE GUYS ARE WALKING ON EGGSHELLS AROUND US.

6 I’VE BEEN BRAINWASHED TO ASSUME THE WORST IN MEN.

11 I SWEAR GUYS ARE APPROACHING ME LESS.

I mean, Jesus Christ...you couldn't make a fictional character this lacking in self awareness. she's literally writing it down, and yet she's not comprehending her own words.

Starrk71 · 2022-07-21T01:58:38+00:00

I am not a fan of "strong women" that just translates to them having a bad attitude and someone I don't want to associate with. I can be civil but they are in no way someone I would date. Hell I wouldn't want to sleep with those kinds of women.

Why would I bother busting my ass to make a good living and deal with shitty people in work to come home to a shitty woman.

Angryasfk · 2022-07-20T13:08:17+00:00

They're getting what they've been asking for. Nothing happens in a vacuum. Specially not something as drastic is redefining society as a whole. I feel no sympathy her her.

fwoomer · 2022-07-20T12:59:38+00:00

One word, besides that it’s an ad, describes this whole thing:

Vapid.

wowelysiumthrowaway · 2022-07-20T15:36:21+00:00

Make sure to have ublock origin enabled!

2022-07-20T16:35:37+00:00

Sounds like she's up a tree without a paddle.

ebonyudders · 2022-07-20T18:22:01+00:00

The extremes that they perpetuate make no sense now a days and more and more of society is getting tired of it because usually at least being objective they just don't make sense I fully believe women shouldn't be marginalized but the feminazi ideals will die out

QnsConcrete · 2022-07-21T01:15:54+00:00

You realize this is a spam site, right? It just exists as clickbait so they can get ads to their product that's embedded in the text.

The "articles" written by this Jennifer Lee person span years of clickbait titles that don't make sense. She has articles saying how she hasn't dated anyone for 5 years, and then a few articles before that saying how she has a boyfriend.

The article in question here has a line that reads:

2. Guys are started to think we don’t need them anymore.

My point is: this is clickbait content written simply for the purpose of generating money. It might not even be written by a real person. Ignore it and move on with your life.

hudibrastic · 2022-07-21T06:04:04+00:00

TL;DR: Feminism fucked up dating, women most affected

2022-07-20T19:15:02+00:00

I'm completely against feminism

online-wanderer · 2022-07-20T17:14:12+00:00

Overall I think there's a minority of woman who want all the benefits of anti sexism moments.

Whilst keeping the benefits from sexism.

I'm probs not explaining it well but this is a minority of woman and tbh they make the world a much more frustrating place

RagGnarRocky · 2022-07-20T17:43:49+00:00

100% an advert. Just because they call it a shameless plug doesn't absolve the writer of the shame earned lol

Manux005 · 2022-07-20T22:28:57+00:00

When did holding open the door become rude? It's basic manners to hold open the door to anyone who's close behind you, regardless of gender. If I see someone a meter behind me I hold open the door for him/her because it's polite to do so. Why do feminists have to make everything a sexist thing.

gastmania933 · 2022-07-21T04:18:45+00:00

Another pathetic writing full of self victimization

DemocratsDoNothing · 2022-07-21T06:38:59+00:00

I’VE BEEN BRAINWASHED TO ASSUME THE WORST IN MEN - ONE LITTLE ANTI-FEMINIST COMMENT CAN COMPLETELY TURN ME OFF

Then

IT’S MADE US MORE SEPARATE FROM EACH OTHER THAN EVER BEFORE - I SWEAR GUYS ARE APPROACHING ME LESS

Quite a few pot/kettle accusations from an article that seems to answer the question to it's supposed problem, but something tells me the author won't figure that one out.

Angryasfk · 2022-07-20T16:09:45+00:00

This article is clickbait trash and the author constantly contradicts herself. I find myself agreeing with her observations throughout, only to vehemently disagree with the mental gymnastics she goes through right after. What a dingus.

It does feel like men are walking on eggshells around me and I hate that. It’s a major reason I don’t date anymore. One guy actually asked me for consent to kiss me at the end of our date. I immediately lost all interest. Wtf have we done?

Electronic_Demand_61 · 2022-07-20T16:59:50+00:00

If things don't work with my fiancé, there's a little old Pakistani lady at my job who keeps offering her 22 y/o granddaughter up for an arranged marriage and I'd seriously consider it at this point, because I'm tired of constantly being told masculinity is bad and " not being an ally to feminism" and that poor women wants to get out of Pakistan so bad.

ErenYDidNothingWrong · 2022-07-20T19:13:07+00:00

rabel111 · 2022-07-20T23:10:27+00:00

Feminists are universally obscessed with their resentment of men. Thus, the self confessed "hyper awareness" of potential sexism in even the most innocent of behaviours of men, and total lack of her own extremely sexist behaviours.

Why would this woman consider that attractive to anyone other than another feminist? The fall off in men approaching this maniac sounds more like natural selection.

EnglishPaulson · 2022-07-20T23:25:29+00:00

Fake article with trad thottery and bullshit for men to read, while every sentence is plugging advertising.

Fake news by a fake writer lying their ass off.

innibinni · 2022-07-20T23:31:41+00:00

Tl:dr -Why won’t guys talk to me? -If you’re not woke this is over. -Why won’t guys chase me? -We should do away with gender roles because they’re sexist. -But men should pay for dates. This one sure has her thoughts in order. /s

TheEndTrend · 2022-07-21T02:54:27+00:00

Those plugs should be "shameful" there so damn many of them, lol

Ceruleanknight1 · 2022-07-21T06:06:13+00:00

The thing is, I’m starting to get a bit of a stand-offish vibe from guys, like they’re afraid to make a move, and I think it’s because they think that we don’t need them anymore. I’m not gonna go and cry a river for them because that’s something they’re gonna have to figure out within their own psyches. It’s just something I’ve noticed and it’s a bit of a shame.

Wow... we know women needs men, we also know that we take a 50/50 bet to either have a complaint on our back OR have to give them a free meal cause tyrone was busy that evening.

Whitified · 2022-07-21T07:18:34+00:00

"Feminism wreaks havoc, women most hurt!"

sanem48 · 2022-07-21T09:09:38+00:00

Then just stop calling it dating, call it "hanging out". I never call it dating, I just ask the girl if she wants to hang out "as friends". It's the exact same thing, but because it's framed differently it suddenly doesn't count as a date so the guy isn't expected to pay or whatever.

zoupzip · 2022-07-21T12:06:28+00:00

I’VE BEEN BRAINWASHED TO ASSUME THE WORST IN MEN. All it takes is one quick scroll down my newsfeed and I have enough feminist rants to last me several winters. I think I’ve almost trained my brain to assume ALL men are here to try to put me down and dominate me when that’s far from the truth. I’ve made it kind of an automatic reflex at this point, though.🤡

RandyRenegade · 2022-07-21T20:23:01+00:00

"Any anti-feminist remark is a huge turn-off"

"I am programmed to assume the worst from men"

"I swear, I'm getting approached less by men"

I think if you put these quotes together you get a good picture of the mindset of this person.

Forcetobereckonedwit · 2022-07-20T16:40:27+00:00

Spam laden feminist crap.

Drougen · 2022-07-20T17:30:35+00:00

Yeah dating sucks. I've only ever done it with a stranger like once in my life.

Sad_Chair8797 · 2022-07-20T17:17:38+00:00

Islam already does this and I'm over it . If I have a valid criticism of your philosophy I will not cede the linguistic territory to it's followers and preface every valid critique with a "not all" "or " im completely supportive\ambivalent of X or Y, but ...

It's the same tactic repeated over and over because it works . Islam, feminism, BLM, its always the same.

But Islam is the religion of peace .. Bigot. Phobe. Shame. Shun . Deserved violence.

But feminism is just about equality .. Sexist . Shame. Shun. Predator. Incel.

You are disagreeing with Black lives Matter, so you don't believe that Black lives matter? Racist. Privilege. Inherent evil. Deserves racism. Deserves violence. Shun. Shame .

You don't think 'men' can get pregnant? That invalidates the existence of the molecules and atoms that constitutes their existence and you just caused hypothetical suicides. Blah . Blah .blah .

My point is that when you start the debate by using their language and stifling your own they already win. They control you . And if they don't control you they unperson you and attack your identity rather than an argument they can't dispute. Feminism and any other philosophy that *once* did undeniable good or was imperative for human advancement does not have carte blanche to wreak havock *now*

AyWhatITIS · 2022-07-20T17:12:38+00:00

You get what you pay for.

Beneficial_Comment7 · 2022-07-20T20:46:17+00:00

Standard.

newyorkloser45 · 2022-07-20T21:00:16+00:00

I don't hold open doors for anyone for more than a second or two unless they are a young child, elderly, or handicapped.

herefortheparty01 · 2022-07-20T23:19:24+00:00

According to mens lib it’s the only way to be!

windsquid1993 · 2022-07-20T23:52:33+00:00

I've never seen an article with so much self reflection but so fucking entitled at the same time.

manwhoreproblems · 2022-07-21T00:47:06+00:00

Dear god I read the whole thing. I have cancer now.

Ace_W · 2022-07-21T03:35:19+00:00

Wuht... like really lady?

The answer is there, but you're not seeing it

Onion_Guy · 2022-07-21T08:01:38+00:00

This is the dumbest possible take

PatternActual7535 · 2022-07-21T09:51:21+00:00

This sounds like a problem with their mentality, especially with our actions being deemed as sexist. They seem to have alot of ego and an inflated view of themselves...

Its harder to date because men are fed up and anxious to make any move on most woman due to the current climate of things

When everything we do is seen as predatory, or sexist, Or many woman we have dated have simply seen us as expendable assets, Of course we have have been put off dating woman for the majority!

Im all for independence, but wheres the equality?

NtsParadize · 2022-07-21T16:58:39+00:00

I'm not racist, but...

No-Satisfaction-2320 · 2022-07-22T15:02:57+00:00

Yea I'm not dating anyone who considers herself a feminist.

femmeboyrules · 2022-07-20T22:21:19+00:00

Ugh women 🙄

Catch-the-Rabbit · 2022-07-20T16:36:18+00:00

This is much more of a HER issue than a YOU issue imo.

I believe it is basic human civility to hold a door open for someone.

I would say I'm a feminist I support women doing whatever they want. If she wants to be a stay at home mom, kudos, if she wants to be a lady who never married, kudos, it's your life

Feminism should go back to it's roots in base line equality, as in assuming superiority is becoming what we so detest.

We need to stop making it an us vs them, like the innies vs the outties. We don't like it...so duh, men won't either. It's like...to some degree there is this assumption that men aren't capable of self actualization.

Which is why I follow this sub, I need to see and understand your perspective

Please hold open doors, please continue to be polite and courteous. Don't let someone else's world perspective poop on yours.

Manux005 · 2022-07-20T22:35:40+00:00

Feminism is the best thing to happen to humanity since sliced bread? Is this women kidding me? The first feminism was good. When they fought for their right to vote. Now they just want to be handed everything without taking on the responsibilities to get it. Men had and still have to fight for their right to vote. They have to sign a document that say's they will defend the country if neccessary, if they want a drivers liscense or want to vote. Women are just handed their right to vote.

Manux005 · 2022-07-20T22:49:52+00:00

There are still places in the world where women have very little rights, and where they would be right to complain, and here she is complaining about people holding the door open for her.

7010248389 · 2022-07-21T10:02:24+00:00

I'm call boy

Angelmistfit · 2022-07-21T00:47:52+00:00

Theres feminist and then there's toxic feminism that make the sane feminist look bad

domnulsta · 2022-07-20T21:59:25+00:00

If you think the feminist movement is making it hard to date, you’re part of the problem. Period. Full stop.

I’ve had great success treating women like equals. - who ever gets to the door first, holds it open. - first date? Pay for yourself if it’s anything more than a coffee date. Alternate paying after that. - respect boundaries - BE A DECENT FUCKING PERSON

No-Knowledge-8867 · 2022-07-20T09:58:33+00:00

Men, I don't think we should let ourselves become this. We should always set ourselves to be better than this standard. Let's lead by example.

Biffgasm · 2022-07-20T23:27:55+00:00

Don't let these people change the way you walk through this world, just let them be miserable.

Dominanceismykink · 2022-07-21T00:47:40+00:00

Honestly, any woman who would give me a tough time for holding a door open for her has saved me a lot of time. I’m all for feminism but crazy bitches that are hyper focused on any microaggression that we all used to call chivalry can fuck right off. I will treat any potential date like a lady - hold doors open, pay for dinner, drive to pick her up, and even buy her flowers. This isn’t chauvinist. It also doesn’t presume women can’t do all these things themselves. But it’s what gentlemen do. And if that’s offensive, I’m not for you.

littebee · 2022-07-21T04:26:45+00:00

I relate to the egg shells. Hit hard.

reverbiscrap · 2022-07-21T12:17:27+00:00

I refuse to believe this isn't a satire article.

401kisfun · 2022-07-22T04:05:01+00:00

The mental gymnastics this writer makes is astounding. She keeps confusing a ‘you’ problem, for ‘we’ problem.

Title	I'm All For Feminism, But It's Kinda Making It Harder To Date
Author	No-Knowledge-8867
Upvotes	267
Comments	267
Date	July 20, 2022 9:55 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/w3ifug/im_all_for_feminism_but_its_kinda_making_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-all-for-feminism-but-its-kinda-making-it-harder.1124572 https://theredarchive.com/post/1124572

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