"Women like assholes" is a projection. Men are the ones deliberately putting up with "asshole women".

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-10-05T19:24:04+00:00

Average people like hot people and hot people scoff at average people is all y’all mean to say

stats135 · 2022-10-05T19:34:07+00:00

Is this the apex fallacy again?

The average man doesn't actually have what you call a lot of options, and just fucks what he can get. Average men aren't choosing anything because they don't have much choice to begin with.

When you see men choosing Stacie, what you are seeing are only the men that have options to choose from in the first place. Surprise surprise, men with options only go for Stacie, and don't care about their long term traits such as personality because they know they can just turn around and find another Stacy to fuck.

prettymuchredpilled · 2022-10-05T20:24:00+00:00

I don't think men go for asshole women on purpose. I can't speak for all men, but I strongly prefer agreeable and compassionate women. I think the issue is that men go for very attractive women, and these very attractive women have much more leeway to be assholes due to their good looks.

Normal_Red_Sky · 2022-10-05T21:16:51+00:00

Look at the story of Jeremy Meeks and tell me women aren't attracted to bad boys.

No-Rough-7390 · 2022-10-05T19:48:07+00:00

The space exists because most young dudes grow up being misled about what a relationship should look like in the first place. Whether you wanna place the blame on the guy, the woman, the narrative, whatever, that’s why it’s even a thing.

The fact you say “doormat women” proves the point. If you teach guys that it’s odd for a woman to please you, do things you want to do, and make your life better as well as that a argumentative woman is normal, well big ole surprise that’s what people are gonna do until they wake up.

Mydragonurdungeon · 2022-10-05T19:32:58+00:00

Men don't have the luxury of being picky

LetSuitable5665 · 2022-10-05T19:44:46+00:00

Men don’t like asshole women, we put up with them because we think we have no options. This is usually the case. Women get with assholes because assholes don’t give af, and assholes are more likely to talk to more women with no shame. They have more options so they get away with more.

FlyV89 · 2022-10-06T01:10:50+00:00

No.

Virgin dudes swear women love assholes because they hear about those "assholes" from the women who chase them.

"Assholes" are, usually, not "assholes" at all. They are normal men, probably even as nice as the virgin dude who's figuring all this shit on his head and imagining a monster while they hear their girl friends aka "crushes" crying about how this "asshole piece of shit she was KINDA dating lied to her to get sex and then she found out how he was dating around and had other girls sliding into his DM" and what not.

Now, the truth.

When you are 6.3' and jacked and have some money on your pocket, you ride a nice bike (women love bikes more than cars, don't let them fool you) and you have some fun social life like, lets say, you're the guitar player in a rock/metal band (checked) it's easy to hook up with different women, and we all know that when you hook up with a girl in her head = dating. Now I know lots of women are going to come up with bullshit like "well women can enjoy non strings attached sex too just like men" bullshit, I don't believe you, may be you have a friend of a friend that is a whore and doesn't care, but 99% of women do care about the men they have sex with, so quit that bullshit.

So what happens when girls "figure out" you date other women?

Well, it's not like women DON'T KNOW already. They know. They just don't want to ask, and I'm not going to tell them "hey you know, we fuck and all but... I'm also dating other women". Why should I do that? I'm a good looking lad, it's IMPLIED I'm banging women left and right I mean, it's written all over my six pack, so stop too with that bullshit of "you should be more strightforward with your intentions" too, just quit it, women ABSOLUTELY know, and that's also why they never bring "exclusiveness" during our pillow talks. They want to play "the last girl standing" or something like that, I'm just letting them figure out things by their own.

Somewhere down the road, they get some kind of "confirmation" that this is how it is, and then you have two kinds of women:

The ones that freak out and get butt hurt and start calling you an asshole motherfucker piece of shit, throw you some stuff, break up with you and storm off... only to get back some days after, and
The ones that play it cool, say "hey that's good, I'm seeing other dudes too" with a huge, fake grim and pretend it's all right while they stay around and try to change you (news: they are going to get tired soon, start calling you an asshole motherfucker piece of shit to all their friends, throw you some stuff, storm off... And call you back a few days later)

Now, I really like women. I do. I mean, my life proves it.

It's just that I like women so much that I can't stop liking a different one every day.

I'm not a "douchebag" or an asshole to these girls. We have a wonderful time together, we go to the movies, we cook, we watch our favourite series while we cuddle in the couch, we listen to rock/metal/country music, go to shows and festivals, go on trips here and there, and have long, deep and very private conversations about pretty much whatever topic we feel like talking about til very late in night.

BUT... I'm an asshole, acording to my exes. All of them.

It doesn't make a difference that a few of them told me they are ready to break up with their respective partners (like, right now) to be with me if I just "make up my mind and get my shit together".

Fact, one of them told me "you are such a moroon" when I declined her offer. Like, come on girl, you have a kid already.

Why am I an asshole? Because despite doing all right with these girls, I'm not giving them the ONLY thing they crave the most, which is commitment. And I know, it sucks for them, but I'm not an asshole only because I can't stop banging other women.

So here is the problem...

When these girls guy friends hear about me, they only hear half of the story. Just one bell. The bell that rings "I'm a fucking asshole motherfucker piece of shit". And the dude is always like "oh my Queen, I wouldn't do that to you, you want me to kill him? I would do anything for you".

Yeah fucker, keep your honorable tinny dick in your pants, she wasn't too much worried about me being an asshole when I was balls deep in her just last week.

Actually I had some troubles because of women like that, just last month. A guy actually wanted to fight me over an "offense" I made to her "girl friend". I swear, it was so lame. Like, dude I'm 6.3' and 210 pounds jacked, you ain't no fucking chance here bro GTFO.

I swear, I fucking SWEAR he was the living embodiement of "listen to me, I really really need to put my dick in her, tonight if possible, so could you slam my face on the ground once and we can move on with the night? Please be kind". It made me sick to my stomach. I face-slapped him because he actually spat on my neck when I turned my back on him. And HE CRIED.

Can you fucking believe this shit. I know, the guy was drunk and probably his girl friend started bitching about me and making a scene when she saw me entering the bar, he thought he could bring some justice...

Now here comes the funny part. She left the place in a cab after the fight. ALONE. The guy just went to sit somewhere, shitfaced (by alcohol and my hand also) so I went with him, apologized, bought him a beer and we did some small chat. He left the place with me, some of my pals and girl friends and we went together to a show, I even bought him a ticket as a way to show I sincerely regreted what happened. We ended the night like two good friends. The guy even told me "don't worry, I'm drunk and what I did was stupid, you are a cool guy actually and I deserved it. What you have with Tatiana is between you and her and it doesn't concerns me."

I'm a cool man, see that? Tatiana is a bitch. Yes, you Tatiana. Good ass thou.

That same night, when I got home, I got a message from this same girl saying I'm a piece of shit (for the 100 time) for "hitting Juani". I explained to her that was just a slap, that he spat on my back, that I actually apologized about the slap and the guy said it was all cool, whatever. We engaged in a convo that ended twenty minutes later with HER asking "want to come over"?. I was tired and drunk so passed.

And that's the fucking moral of the story.

Assholes are not assholes. They are actually cool dudes.
Women don't love assholes. They love good looking men, and get hurt when other women love them too.
Juani got what he deserved for buying some shitty story line and put his nose where he didn't. Juani could spend his free time chasing single women who like him back but instead spends his days begging for sex to a woman who sucks off other men. Juani is stupid, lame and pathetic. Don't be like Juani.
WOMEN are the real assholes.
And last, but not least, Tatiana has a good ass but a shitty personality, and that's why I'm banging her and not dating her.

Edit: the offense was to refuse to take her back to her place in the middle of the night, just for the record. Yeah, she called HIM, and he thought I was uncosiderate of my part because "streets are dangerous for women" and what not. Little she told him about the pitty party she throwed at my place when I refused to atend her grandpearents wedding aniversary.

NegotiationNo717 · 2022-10-06T02:41:28+00:00

They will absolutely put up with bad behavior for a beautiful woman. And they fell on themselves too. Crying about the friendzone and being used and being an orbiter. You mean to tell me you’re ok simping and chasing and cosplaying friendship after a person you know is a user, just for sex? They seem to be able to tell women are bad, but seem to think they’re nothing wrong with them for chasing them. Same with gold diggers. How do gold diggers exist? Because men are willing to pay and put up with them because they’re hot. Yet the term seems to victimize the poor man using his money to attract women who would have zero interest in him otherwise. They do the same shit the accuse women of doing.

Anecdotal of course, but I’ve also found men to suddenly really want to be nice and chase and treat you well when you are apathetic and cold to them. The same shit they accuse women of.

gastongang · 2022-10-06T05:39:18+00:00

personal experience but I think a lot of girls like the instability and the chaotic emotional rollercoaster asshole men provide, that push-pull treatment, a toxic asshole may treat her like shit sometimes, but at least she isn't bored, in fact, she has a great time riding the emotional rollercoaster, from happy to sad and whatnot. An asshole man who cheats on them, and treats them badly, provides these women with the excitement and high-octane drama, they crave, a toxic man switching from total neglect to love bombing keeps them on their toes, excited for what he is going to do next.

they are fucking addicted to the drama and chaos because it riles them up and stimulates their emotions

Ok-Limes-5094 · 2022-10-05T20:37:19+00:00

After browsing this subreddit for some time and seeing all the generalizations people make about both genders, I realized these CMV posts are mostly a false dichotomy.

To address your CMV, there are guys who genuinely value the good girls (I exclusively date within my church and am only attracted to religious girls for relationships), while there are other guys who want something in the middle, and then there are the guys who value the "bad" slutty girl who swears and does cocaine.

Generally, I would say people value others who are similar to them. Those who value "bad" girls/guys eventually realize it wasn't what they expected and then try to go for the good girls/guys. I know a lot of formally promiscuous men and women who come to church to try to snag a religious Christian partner because they want marriage and commitment. If they're attractive, they can usually find someone, but if not, it's an uphill battle.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-10-05T19:52:34+00:00

Some of it is projection sure, if a guy is just miserable to be around 24/7, that's going to be annoying to anybody, but a lot of times when a guy is an asshole he usually has an attitude of not giving a fuck, being confident almost to the point of cockiness which usually means he might have at least something he's accomplished or something to be proud of, and a guy who is an asshole is less likely to put his woman on a pedestal than a guy who is a simp, and if you're talking about both ends of the extreme in regards to that, women get attention from guys all the time so when you have a guy who is in a physically attractive package who doesn't Fawn all over her like she's a queen, that's probably going to work in his favor, fellas let your woman know that she's the only choice you have sexually and watch how much her respect for you plummets lol, so for reasons along those lines I say the whole idea of women liking assholes ( or at least what these guys are calling assholes, because a lot of men do get jealous and start spouting off dumb shit) is 75% valid

dottywine · 2022-10-05T20:15:22+00:00

I agree with you somewhat.

“Spicy Latina” is the name of a really common fetish but when I discuss this with guys, I have to use that term for them to understand what I’m saying.

ohheyhi99 · 2022-10-05T22:45:54+00:00

It’s not true that all women like assholes, but do you think all doormat women are turned on by doormat men?

Sunnymood_Today · 2022-10-06T01:47:06+00:00

One fact they often tend to forget : everyone is responsible for their choices. But if people pick their crushes from a pool "outside of their league", or are seeking standards they don't reach themselves, they shouldn't be too surprised of the hearthaches.

ElrondsQuailSauce · 2022-10-06T04:55:40+00:00

women just like men who are more in tune with nature and natural hierarchies. civilization itself is a fallacy, alpha males tend to just remind women of the state of freedom in the wild.

newrunner29 · 2022-10-06T14:05:25+00:00

Someone standing up for themselves and caring confidently about their interests will be perceived as an asshole by losers.

Get called asshole all the time on Reddit, it's because the average person on this site is a big loser

Wank_Wank1 · 2022-10-06T14:45:15+00:00

Men don't purposefully go for bad women, when we find out it's usually too late.

Banestar66 · 2022-10-06T23:01:00+00:00

No, you’re wrong. I used to think this until I kept seeing no matter the group/area/community and no matter how otherwise nice the woman is putting up with asshole behavior. Comparatively when dudes do date assholes, women friends of the guy think it’s obvious the gf sucked and can’t believe he didn’t pick up on it.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-10-06T04:37:27+00:00

"women like assholes" is most definitely not a projection it's very true a lot of women do like assholes. A lot of assholes are just far more sexually attractive and sexually arousing than a nice guys. But yes men deliberately put up with asshole women The question would probably be why do men go for bad women. The reality is that men are very easily manipulated by a woman's sex appeal and they allow women to control them with sex and their looks/bodies. They don't realize or discern at first that a woman is bad because they are instantly booty blinded by an attractive woman. Women have weaponized their sex appeal and their sexuality against men. Really weak men because most men are beta males. So really a woman's only power over a man is if she is found to be sexually attractive and she will use that to bend a man to her will. If a man is with a gorgeous woman he will endure a lot of abuse from her as long as she's giving him sex. The thing with Stacy's is that by definition Stacies or just gorgeous hoes and it's very easy for them to manipulate men. Stacy's are not wife material and not girlfriend material they are at best Just Friends with benefits material. An average Joe schmo Joe average dude will see Stacy with a fat ass and big titties and a pretty face and a fantastic figure and easily become whipped and henpecked.

ruboyuri · 2022-10-05T20:28:54+00:00

It’s not “women like assholes”

It’s “women are willing to be sexless and single”

risdeveau · 2022-10-05T19:29:15+00:00

Women who like assholes also seek out assholes

geometersbane · 2022-10-05T20:24:54+00:00

Why wouldn't we go for the more fun chicks? Virgins are excruciatingly boring and timid to a fault. The "Stacy" fucks better, is more enthusiastic, and is kinkier.

Neither are worthy of commitment though.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2022-10-05T21:35:04+00:00

Being beautiful is the ultimate determining factor. Being a bitch comes second.

Is she beautiful? Yes? Okay I’ll put up with bitchiness to a certain degree

Is she beautiful? No? Okay I won’t put up with any bitchiness to any degree

Do you understand? It’s literally that straight forward. Men are not complicated

darkvalleys · 2022-10-05T23:51:58+00:00

Men just think “not finding a willing partner” is oppression/an injustice that society must do something about

caption291 · 2022-10-05T20:28:47+00:00

The fact that you think Johnny Depp is representative of men as a group is very telling. You should take your complaints to the men you're actually talking about.

hydrogen_sulfate · 2022-10-05T19:43:27+00:00

All women within my age group are like that to me because I’m ugly and look Indian. women can show many faces depending on how attractive you are

mc2594 · 2022-10-05T19:44:09+00:00

Who's Stacy?

throw77498 · 2022-10-05T20:02:34+00:00

Men put up with it. If they're lonely (most are). Women seek out bad behavior, which is coincidentally often tied to confidence and masculinity.

Robotemist · 2022-10-05T20:43:59+00:00

Most men don't have never had the opportunity to be heartbroken by Stacy.

And it's not that men don't like doormats or go after bad women. A woman being attractive and put on a pedestal her entire life makes her develop a complex which makes her a Stacy, and men go after attractive women. On the flip side women who aren't that attractive are more likely to be a doormat to attractive men because submissions is natural from women to men they value.

An attractive doormat is just as holy grail and rare to a man as an attractive, rich, alpha simp.

AutoModerator · 2022-10-05T19:20:59+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

NorthernTaste · 2022-10-05T20:36:31+00:00

There’s plenty of women who put up with or seek out assholes

If that’s the kind of person you wanna date.

warramite · 2022-10-05T21:59:30+00:00

Women like attractive/high value men.. Women date these guys because the benefits in her own perception are higher than the drawbacks

With rich guys its obvious why they still there.. If he's poor its because she's too attached to leave him/believe she can change him

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-10-06T03:55:31+00:00

Going to disagree, OP.

Some of us don't tolerate bad behavior out of princess, no matter how pretty she thinks she is.

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-10-06T17:18:40+00:00

Some study showed that men find borderline personality disorder traits attractive and select for those. However I don’t think it’s the toxic part but the bubbly, loving, empathethic, caring, attached part. And maybe the increased sex.

tonyrehmatdemir · 2022-10-06T17:40:50+00:00

In this day and age where even an average women has lot of options for sex AS WELL AS relationship doesn't seem to reflect the claim that men only run for Stacies.

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-10-06T19:17:52+00:00

I’m an asshole of a woman and so I like asshole men. We understand each other.

Title	"Women like assholes" is a projection. Men are the ones deliberately putting up with "asshole women".
Author	sadbitch55
Upvotes	5
Comments	113
Date	October 5, 2022 7:20 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xwjntv/women_like_assholes_is_a_projection_men_are_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-like-assholes-is-a-projection-men-are-the.1134962 https://theredarchive.com/post/1134962

Comments