What hobby to choose in order to meet women organically?

Carloverguy20 · 2023-02-21T19:31:44+00:00

If you are solely joining things to meet women, your gonna have a bad time lol.

xvszero · 2023-02-21T18:15:42+00:00

Well, if you actually want to challenge yourself to get into new things, your question is fine. One thing I would say is it isn't JUST about the hobby but about the specific group as well. For instance, in my experience anime meet-ups have a wide range... sometimes they're 95% male, sometimes roughly 50/50, hard to say until you get there. Just because one specific group is male dominated doesn't mean they all will be.

If you're trying to just choose a hobby solely to meet girls though, you're going to come off as a creep, because everyone there will be able to tell you have no real interest in the hobby and are spending all of your time and energy trying to meet girls instead.

sunny_side_egg · 2023-02-21T19:50:18+00:00

Board games events tend to be a bit less male dominated than chess. A lot of women do crossfit and it tends to have a social side. Most volunteer groups that aren't just doing math tutoring have quite a lot of women in them. Is there anything you wanna learn? Go do a night class in that thing. And try not to fixate on meeting a woman, enjoy the activity, make some friends. That way it doesn't feel like a total waste if you don't meet someone, and you'll have more chance of meeting someone indirectly

Newbie1955 · 2023-02-22T00:53:32+00:00

I'd recommend getting more involved in the hobbies you enjoy, in real-life social applications. Debating online isn't very helpful to the going-outside-and-interacting-with-people goal, but perhaps there is a feminist-centric book club you could look into joining? Or a men's group? So longas it's irl and not online.

Having hobbies that are mostly male-dominated is fine. You'll meet men there, and you will make friends with men. Those men have their own social circles, and will invite you to events and gatherings where even more people, including women, are. Most people have met their current partner irl, but very often it was through a mutual friend. That's how I met my husband. The idea is to go out and be social, because that leads to opportunities to be more social. Does that make sense? SO go and do more of the things that you enjoy and that make you more of the authentic you that you are...just do it in real life.

liisathorir · 2023-02-21T19:53:02+00:00

Honestly, any hobby you join specifically to find women for a purpose not related to the hobby is usually unattractive and disheartening for a lot of women. A lot of women can tell the difference of a guy being into a hobby and connecting over that versus a guy joining a hobby so he can meet women.

I say this not to discourage you in finding a partner, but so you can maybe see from a woman’s perspective how it would feel to find a space you feel comfortable in talking about a hobby being infiltrated by men who don’t really have an interest in said hobby and have other intentions with you (innocent intentions or not). It’s really upsetting to be honest, and it makes it harder for women to feel comfortable to be in male dominated spaces.

Ever since Queens Gambit came out a lot of women have been feeling more confident joining chess, could you not do something to help teach women chess but don’t think of it as a way to meet women. Treat it as a way to help your hobby grow and be more accepting and safe for women. If women have a male advocate to help them they will be more likely to stick around and more women will join. Soon enough you may meet someone, or you might not. You may have made some great friends who you normally wouldn’t interact with and that is a step in the right direction.

I would avoid picking women up at the gym even if you really like the look of someone. Most women don’t want to be interrupted or hit on while going through their workout. It’s something they want to do before they have to go home or go grocery shopping.

Competitive programming I don’t have enough experience in the field to comment, but I do know it’s a male dominated field.

A suggestion is what qualities do you want in your partner? Are there any “if she is interested in this thing I think that’s a good start on compatibility!” hobbies? I would go from there.

Do you enjoy food? Maybe you can join a cooking class. Do you like a tv show or a movie or a band? See if there are any clubs or forums and join one and see where that can take you. Are you religious? Go to events. Do you like animals? Maybe volunteer at the animal shelter once every couple weeks to socialize the dogs and cats.

Like I could tell you to take up knitting, because there are a ton of women who knit. But they care more about yarn, patterns and techniques than what you may be looking for and I could see that being really frustrating for you.

I do hope you find someone who you like who is compatible for you, but don’t join a hobby just for the sake of meeting women.

DaftWarror181 · 2023-02-21T20:53:52+00:00

My hobbies are chess, competitive programming, debating gender on Reddit, weightlifting, volunteering as a math tutor.

I would try to lose this specific hobby. As a man, I know that what gender another person chooses to express has no bearing on my identity and poses no discernable harm to others. What's in it for you to debate gender? Why even make it an issue? I think you are not totally out of TRP and possibly have an overly competitive nature or need to showcase your intelligence. Addressing these possibilities could help your social relationships.

As a man myself, if there's another guy who seems preoccupied with other people's gender expressions and acts like an argumentative "debate-me" type, it's annoying AF and is a red flag. It could potentially mean that A.) you have ego problems and feel the need to pick fights and "win" to enhance your self-esteem, B.) you are insecure with your own masculinity and may treat me poorly if I deviate from narrow masculine rules/expectations and C.) you are intolerant and feel threatened by "outsiders" (which goes hand-in-hand with authoritarianism).

For women this could be a red flag that you A.) do not see them as equals, B.) may expect them to adhere to femininity without actually valuing it yourself, C.) you may be invalidating or condescending in a relationship. Ego problems and being insecure about things like masculinity and intelligence are not appealing to anyone and will hurt you socially in many domains.

anthonyrecenello · 2023-02-21T17:19:43+00:00

Your question is a red pill question. Your answer is: The hobbies you love.

If you want to be strategic, first start with what you already enjoy.

Then, after you’ve tried several communities, just frequent the ones where you get along most with the other people.

Then, pick the one that you also make the most connections with women.

Habs1989 · 2023-02-21T22:55:12+00:00

My hobbies are [...] debating gender on Reddit,

Please don't tell people in real life that this is one of your hobbies. You will seem bizarre and unhinged.

Inareskai · 2023-02-21T15:57:37+00:00

Choirs. They're usually a nice bunch of people and they're often looking for lower voices and have a lot of women. You can also look for choirs which have a good range of ages - I'm in one that's specifically for 18-35 year olds so am meeting lots of people who would be within my dating range (I am married, so I am not doing that, but I have made a lot of friends). If they also go to the pub/go for a quick drink afterwards (you do not have to have alcohol, you do not have to get wasted - I never do after choir and it's perfectly fine).

Co-ed sports are another option, although I don't have much experience of them myself.

fathergoose77 · 2023-02-21T18:07:32+00:00

We don’t know what available in your area. Have you done any research to see what’s even available to you?

Make a big list of all the different things available in your area that seem a little intriguing, write their dates/times of meeting, and try our the ones you’re most interested in that seem the most feasible.

KEEP YOUR PURPOSE IN MIND: Remember you are going to understand how organic connections with people are made, you are going to be practicing your conversation skills with people, and you are going to get to know women as individual people to understand them better instead instead of thinking of them as opportunities for your own desires (talk to men AND women, make new friends). You will feel uncomfortable at times and it won’t always be smooth and that’s okay. That’s part of the process you are learning. Consistency is also important. You won’t get to know people after seeing them one or two times, you get to know people better by being a consistent member of the group. This is why it’s important to actually enjoy what the group does.

Be aware that your current understanding of women and those social interactions in general are lacking and limited, therefore view this as a learning process and not a mission to find a date. You need a more realistic understanding of women before getting into the relationship/romantic parts -hence the “go out and talk to women/touch grass” comments. Be open minded and realize all humans are individuals with their own differences, preferences, and goals. And keep in mind some people join hobby groups purely for the hobby and not for the social aspect, so don’t expect everyone to be receptive to conversations and friendship.

How realistic is this for you? Are there any challenges that you are anticipating facing?

Disasterid · 2023-02-21T18:53:01+00:00

I mean if you enjoy going to the gym, you may enjoy going to a weighted reformer Pilates class. It’s more weight training as opposed to mat Pilates but the demographic is still predominantly women. In my experience it’s a very social community as well and even if you can’t find someone you mesh with, you’re at least getting a fantastic ab (and everything else) workout.

FireIzHot · 2023-02-22T03:01:23+00:00

What the fuck kind of hobby is debating gender on Reddit? Fr bro? That can’t be a real hobby. I’d humbly suggest replacing that hobby with something else.

WWhiMM · 2023-02-21T18:47:07+00:00

I think you should join a book club. I don't expect you'll pick up a girlfriend directly from that club, but your hobbies are lacking in the humanities and exploring different perspectives on the human condition is going to make you a more likable person in general (though, of course, I'm sure you're already delightful).

cvntcvntcvnt · 2023-02-21T18:29:37+00:00

What’s worked for me was joining whatever groups or shit you’re interested in regardless of women being around, and getting a dating app where you advertise how well put together your life is and using the hobbies/groups as indicators that you’re a cool guy.

If you’re just in a group to fuck girls, they’ll notice that shit miles away.

You sound pretty well put together tbh and there are girls out there who will automatically say yes to a date with you ALREADY, so just put yourself out there and get to rejection quickly.

This is what I did at least and I have a girlfriend now so yeah. It took a few months of doing this of course, but time isn’t that big an issue because you’re doing things you like anyway. The secret is there is no secret honestly.

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tinyhermione · 2023-02-21T23:24:18+00:00

Climbing is popular where I live, also among women. And it skews young. Try a climbing course?

Hiking if there's a younger hiking group.

Pub quizes are popular where I live too.

Try to join hobbies with the goal of just expanding your social circle and getting new experiences. If you make a new male friend, he might invite you to something where you'd meet other people. Or, even if you don't make a friend, you'll have something fun to talk about on dates. Getting a social life where you'll meet women takes time.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2023-02-21T23:47:57+00:00

Two hobbies: Going out with friends and going to parties.

impressablenomad38 · 2023-02-22T02:24:20+00:00

Sewing! You can see yourself some awesome suits tailored to you, and make friends 😁

oneofamike · 2023-02-21T16:19:40+00:00

Art class, play the guitar on Instagram.

difficultconcept · 2023-02-21T16:15:17+00:00

Tango. They constantly need help finding enough guys.

ManWazo · 2023-02-21T16:13:40+00:00

Bdsm, orgies, esports and sports (watching and/or playing), ... Among many.

WillyDanflous · 2023-02-21T20:31:02+00:00

Crazy that in all these comments nobody actually awnsered your question. Thats crazy.

Friendly_Long_2983 · 2023-02-22T08:10:59+00:00

step 1. DITCH THE BLUE PILL AND JOIN THE REDPILL

step 2. watch hamza

step 3. stop typing a bullshit excuse/insult/ect.

step 4. stop being a bitch

no_user_ID_found · 2023-02-22T09:55:34+00:00

Learn to play the guitar or start singing about your broken heart. start a male dominated band. Woman will be organically all over you in no-time.

Just make sure you’re somewhat good at what you’re doing, just good enough to get people to like your music, but not become so very famous you become unreachable.

PlantHag · 2023-02-22T11:42:17+00:00

Start taking classes in a foreign language. I've learned several secondary languages as an adult and almost all of my classes were +80% women. Plus the teachers force you to have many (jilted and clumsy) practice conversations in the target language, so any awkwardness can be accounted for as part of the learning process.

AceArguments · 2023-02-22T17:08:36+00:00

I think tutoring and volunteer is your best way to organically meet women.

Widen your tutoring subjects, you'll be more likely to meet tutoring women from different subjects. But more importantly volunteer at a kids or children's program for tutoring. Women volunteer to places with children and kids more often than men. So a lot of these environments are female dominated.

Camps for kids that run during the summer are filled with women volunteers. Library programs would be second to that. Museums and galleries may be the hardest to get into just because they only ever take a few volunteers at a time.

Also, if you enter these female dominated spaces I suggest you put on a learning hat and ask lots of questions and for help. Women are very nice and if you ask for help, they will like you more because it shows that you listen, take input, and are willing to learn.

I don't know if you like to volunteer and do odd jobs but there are community centres that look for volunteers to help people. This varies city to city. You might help fix a roof one day, babysit some kids at the park the second day, and help a teenager write a resume the third day. But these community outreach/mentoring programs are usually provided through schools or community centres. Often times you work in groups of people and many of those volunteers are often women.

AnonymousCoward79 · 2023-02-23T08:10:59+00:00

Debating gender on Reddit is not a hobby. Not one that nakes you attractive, anyway.

If your hobbies are mostly male-dominated, I'd try other things. - Dating apps are not bad. - Anything to do with music: live bands, concerts - Socializing: there are apps and websites for people to get together without a specific hobby, for example walks, talks, events (art show, galleries) - Start with public events. Then as you make more friends you'll start getting invited to private events like barbecues, birthday parties, weekend hangouts at the pub. You'll met your friends' friends and their friends. There'll be single women in there, they do the same thing to meet people. - Push outside your comfort zone. Sorry, you just gotta do that. Just gotta go out and meet people.

-AlwaysBored- · 2023-02-23T19:53:47+00:00

Going by your other post/comments, you're not exredpill. You're still stuck in this mindset. Start with that.

Life_Quail6617 · 2023-02-27T14:08:55+00:00

Bit late to the party, but I'd recommend rock climbing (indoor climbing to start). As a woman I've met two past partners through that sport. It's a great sport in general as it teaches problem solving, body strength, communication etc. It also has a great social life/vibe attached to it. I'd particularly recommend bouldering because you can turn up to a bouldering center on your own and don't need a climbing partner or knowledge about belaying/ropes. It's a great way to meet people because climbers frequently get chatting about the bouldering routes and swap tips. I met one partner through a climbing club and the second at a bouldering center. I also take dates bouldering because, as someone on the spectrum, I find it easier to shift the focus on something other than myself. I find it difficult to sit and talk face-to-face and climbing offers a way to bond and get to know each other in a chilled, non-person-centric way.

I think it's important to keep in mind that if you're going there solely to pick up women, women will probably intuitively know that and won't appreciate it. They're there to do their hobby. I'd suggest approaching it with the mindset of 'I'm going to try something new and I might meet someone in the process'.

Title	What hobby to choose in order to meet women organically?
Author	DetermineAssurance
Upvotes	1
Comments	96
Date	February 21, 2023 3:38 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1186eeb/what_hobby_to_choose_in_order_to_meet_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-hobby-to-choose-in-order-to-meet-women.1153021 https://theredarchive.com/post/1153021

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