Does "average people are in relationships" says anything about women's issues?

MyLastBestChance · 2023-03-03T12:58:07+00:00

The forest is doing fine. Some of the trees struggling to reach the light and thrive doesn’t mean that all is lost…unless you’re one of those trees.

Some folks can’t see the forest for the (struggling) trees. Others can’t imagine that any trees aren’t thriving when they see how big the entire forest is.

Clumsy metaphor (was way better in my head🤦‍♀️) but you get the idea.

Now I’m gonna make like a tree and leave!🤣

januaryphilosopher · 2023-03-03T12:27:50+00:00

Strangely enough, there can be problems in dating that aren't just about getting a date. There's kind of a whole relationship after that. Not to mention that women's issues are mainly not about dating and most pressure, criticism or threat they face isn't coming from people they're considering dating.

naughty-surfing · 2023-03-03T12:21:12+00:00

Are you saying that gender grievances don’t exist? And the evidence is average people are in relationships? I’m not entirely clear if you’re making a statement or you’re asking a question?

I mean, there are countries where the average couple is where a man holds all the power, including financial, political, safety, and the woman has none. You can’t use it as evidence that that is a good thing. But maybe I’m misunderstanding your point.

Fancy-Respect8729 · 2023-03-03T13:02:23+00:00

Relationships are the hardest part. Nobody talks about it hardly. The divorce rate and unhappy couples is sky high. Living together is problematic for both men and women

gate18 · 2023-03-03T16:18:49+00:00

I don't get it

For example "female beauty standards" that are supposedly "pressuring women".

What does that have to do with relationships?

"even fat people" are pressured by beauty standards. You can be in a great relationship and a tweet from Jordan Peterson can hurt you when he pretends he's the arbiter of what's normal.

"Other downsides", they say... meanwhile the average woman is in a relationship.

yes, that's the definition of that phrase, "other".

Seriously, could a gender have grievances, even widespread and noteworthy ones despite the fact that heterosexuality exists and men and women are together? How does this work?

Simple, there's way, way, way, more to life than a relationship.

You can be in a perfect relationship, then go to work, move around the world, and consume content, and all of it (apart from your relationship bubble) can make you feel like shit.

If you hurt your toe, you would forget that you are not in a relationship! The moment you hit your toe, your relationship status is irrelevant.

Many people that aren't in a relationship seem to act as if they have a toe that's constantly hurting, and asking "how can anyone care about anything else if they are so lucky as to never experience the toe hurt"?

Look at your parents. The fact that they are in a relationship doesn't shield them from anything.

eyewave · 2023-03-03T12:58:50+00:00

If a man dates a girl and begins questioning her beauty because she's not 24/24 all pampered and in lingerie, it is a problem.

If a man dates a girl and begins being resentful because she won't indulge in some dirty kink he saw in a porn, it is a problem.

If a man discusses these topics with his friends as if they were a big weight on his relationship, it is a problem.

But I think keeping those creepy thoughts to ourselves, even if they shouldn't be there in the first place, is a fit solution.

gofigure62 · 2023-03-03T15:50:22+00:00

Yes. Average people with body image insecurities and porn addictions are in relationships.

Flawed people are in relationships. Most people have flaws and shortcomings, it's normal.

bluestjuice · 2023-03-03T16:52:25+00:00

Eh, having trouble getting into a relationship is a different problem from having trouble within a relationship (and different from having gendered problems that aren’t related to relationships at all). Lots of different problems out there.

p_taradactyl · 2023-03-03T17:04:56+00:00

To address the last sentence, of course people in relationships can still have grievances - take the classic example of "short-guy syndrome". A lot of guys believe that women only want to be with taller men. They may be in a relatively happy LTR and still hold this belief/insecurity even though it does not directly manifest in their relationship.

These issues/grievances don't just magically disappear when someone enters into a relationship - the relationship may provide a "safe harbor" and indisputable proof that they are not unlovable, but most people would still carry the burden in other areas of their lives. We still seek validation from other sources - strangers, friends, family, coworkers, etc. that can bring us down and cause damage.

In conclusion, relationships don't make one immune to real or perceived subpar treatment due to real or perceived flaws.

Capeninja · 2023-03-03T17:57:39+00:00

Blue pill gaslighting just isn't consistent. If it were consistently applied then every gender-related social issue is actually just a skill issue on the part of the complainer.

DarthMemus · 2023-03-03T18:46:01+00:00

being in a relationship isn't a merit for anything

1Here4Bach · 2023-03-03T12:41:09+00:00

Average people make up most of the relationships. If you’re an average male and can’t get in a relationship then your standards are too high and you think you’re too good for the average woman.

AutoModerator · 2023-03-03T12:14:57+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

CombinationUsed7938 · 2023-03-03T12:25:17+00:00

Basically, most average people end up in a relationship.

If you're average, chances are you'll get one.

If you don't it's because you either don't want or aren't doing enough.

Again, if you're average.

szclimber · 2023-03-03T12:55:25+00:00

No. There are too many different variable too consider. Just averaging every parameter doesn't make sense.

AnarchyFortune · 2023-03-03T13:01:50+00:00

Personally I think it says that their issues are the dating equivalent of "first-world problems." In reality these "problems" are really just things that are keeping dating from being even easier than it is for women already.

Also, a lot of these beauty standards are more upheld by other women than by men. Women judge each other pretty harshly generally. Maybe the top men who are used to having women throw themselves at them might care to a degree about some physical beauty traits, but outside of those few cases they are self-imposed or imposed by other women. No man realistically expects a woman to spend $100+ getting ready for a date. And unless the guy is really attractive, she probably won't.

wtknight · 2023-03-03T13:04:30+00:00

I think everybody in a relationship or trying to have a relationship has some kind of problem related to relations between the genders, even if they are able to persist and get through these problems. No relationship is perfect.

The problems that become “issues” are usually the ones that are common and that many people complain about. Note that online just as many men seem to be complaining about women now as women about men.

obviousredflag · 2023-03-03T13:07:31+00:00

Being in a relationship doesn't get rid of having lots of negative outcomes of getting attention. It doesn't affect how women are still in intra-sex competition about hierarchy positions regarding beauty.

I don't understand your argument at all.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-03-03T13:17:56+00:00

I'm not certain what you're asking?

Chadwick18 · 2023-03-03T13:48:28+00:00

"Do" they?

BigOleGreenTrees · 2023-03-03T16:58:11+00:00

It works through low self esteem or hating yourself. If you 100% think you're disgustingly ugly and unattractive, what would you think of a person who said "I like you and I think you're hot"? Either they're blind or stupid right? Maybe they're desperate because they're a psycho?

There are tons of men and women sabotaging themselves because they have issues with self esteem, which is basically untreated mental illness that severely distorts how they perceive reality.

Safinated · 2023-03-03T17:22:48+00:00

Scarce12 · 2023-03-03T18:11:43+00:00

It's says that women's issues get worse as they get older.

For men it gets better.

cl1p5 · 2023-03-03T18:26:58+00:00

I have dated many women and I was married for seven years. I promise you they do not wear makeup for men. If that were true they would never let their husband bf see them with out it. I’ve have experienced women going days with out putting it on.

Women put make up on when they go out. Women put makeup on to compete with other women.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-03-03T20:34:25+00:00

Average people being in average relationships still fall prey to these issues. Just because they are in a relationship doesnt mean they are immune to these issues.

Lots of average looking men participate in societal ideals of female beauty standards. They feel they are settling because their partner doesnt look like that. Smart ones wont say it out loud because they know its unrealistic. Many men will mentally agree even if behavior doesnt follow. Women can mentally agree too. Heck, most people nowadays think celebrities from the 60s are plain (they arent, they wear less makeup and didnt use filters back then)

Title	Does "average people are in relationships" says anything about women's issues?
Author	FuuraKafu
Upvotes	10
Comments	56
Date	March 3, 2023 12:14 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11gz8s1/does_average_people_are_in_relationships_says/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-average-people-are-in-relationships-says.1154645 https://theredarchive.com/post/1154645

Comments