Is it possible to turn down sex with a woman and not lose a fan

Inside-Lynx-5032 · 2022-09-05T11:46:25+00:00

I think you will be better off if you state it as a boundaries or situational preference vs a personal preference.

Saying that "I have a strict no dating coworkers policy" or " I don't shit where I eat." will go over better than any reason that gets more personal . Eg " I am sorry, you are not my type."

_revelationary · 2022-09-05T11:40:41+00:00

What did you say right after they asked?

I’ve been turned down by men - not for sex, but for dating. Sure, I was hurt and I kept my distance for a while, but ultimately I thought no less of them. If they were colleagues I’m sure it would’ve felt weird for a while but ultimately I would have recovered. I think you can explain in a professional and kind way that shouldn’t burn bridges unless they’re unreasonable. Nobody owes anyone sex.

stoic4343 · 2022-09-05T12:14:13+00:00

I have done both. Some women can not handle rejection. Had a nurse do this in the er. She flipped out when I said I don't date women with kids. I ended up at a new er.

MAGA-Latino · 2022-09-05T12:23:48+00:00

It's kinda a tough choice. Because if you have sex with her and then things turn sour she'll be even more upset. To be honest in today's corporate world where a woman just has to make any complaint and you're fired, it just isn't worth the risk.

I once found myself in a similar situation where I was involved with a coworker. To make a long story short I kinda let her dump me. I figured she wouldn't be mad that way. It worked out and I didn't get fired.

Naru4odo · 2022-09-05T14:48:51+00:00

Also report these happenings to HR, as this will protect you in the event one of these women decide that their hurt ego is worth ruining your life over.

rurunoa · 2022-09-05T13:33:04+00:00

set your own boundaries, if u dont want to have sex then dont

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-09-05T12:20:15+00:00

Stop socialising with them.

If this goes to HR they'll say it's your fault either way and fire you because you are a man.

LotBuilder · 2022-09-05T16:12:04+00:00

You are playing a very stupid game. Stop flirting at work and tell them you don’t date coworkers. Women don’t take rejection well and it can easily cost you your career. If you need your ego stroked by women a few notches below you then do it with strangers on tinder or bumble. Better yet, find a new hobby.

Willow-girl · 2022-09-05T12:50:41+00:00

Well, women are raised to treat their vaginas like precious jewels and "hold out," so when one goes against common practice and actually propositions you and then gets shot down, I imagine that's rather unsettling. Ever hear the phrase, "Hell hath no fury like a scorned woman"?

I think the key to avoiding this situation lies in the phrase

but when drunk they will take the leap

If you want to go on being flirtatious at work, you probably need to make sure to leave the party before one of your co-workers imbibes enough "Dutch courage" to fling herself at you.

kblkbl165 · 2022-09-05T15:27:01+00:00

Just leave it open ended, if you don’t make a move they’ll get it at some point.

Setting boundaries is cool and all but not everyone is reasonable, just don’t escalate anything.

EnteFetz · 2022-09-05T22:41:01+00:00

Wow, that is ridiculous. How hot are you? There are only few men I this world who just get said for sex by their female coworkers. Won't happen to 99% of men.

2022-09-06T03:32:01+00:00

Some start to straight up dislike you. Its weird.

AndyBrown65 · 2022-09-05T13:27:31+00:00

NO.

Women assume that when they offer sex, men will accept 100% of the time. When men decline the offer, there must be something wrong with them, right?

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-09-05T13:42:28+00:00

You just got to make it perfectly clear to them that you're not interested in them like that. You like being friends and that's it. Now is very dangerous to have sex with a drunk woman because she can turn around and say that you raped her. Although women can say that even if the whole encounter happen when she was sober from the start. Women friend zone men all the time so you can do that to them as well. It's also good to avoid anything beyond their friendship with coworkers because anything can happen if you take it past being friends. The thing about rejection is that women hate being rejected. They don't care about men getting rejected but when it comes to men and women, women have way more options than men so they're not used to getting turned down and they can't handle getting rejected I'm not saying that that's all women but it's more than half. When women getting drunk and then asking you for sex you just turn them down and say no. Simple as that, Anything else is not your problem. It's dangerous for you to have sex with a drunk woman because that's still classified as rape. She wasn't sober so even if she asked you with the bullshit being the way that it is today with laws you still have to get her consent and she can't consent because she was intoxicated. In order for her to give consent she has to be in her right mind she has to be sober and that's not the case. You also said that you have a few smv points higher so I know attraction is also a key factor in you turning her down. Just like how women shouldn't sleep with men they don't want to sleep with men should never have have to sleep with women they don't want to sleep with especially drunk women.

Lisavela · 2022-09-05T16:17:07+00:00

Don’t sleep with them and avoid them

TedHynes · 2022-09-05T12:39:39+00:00

collectively, women's entitlement has ballooned to incredible volumes - she DESERVES your fuck and if you don't give it to her, you're a gay incel

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2022-09-05T17:29:10+00:00

"Sorry for phrasing it so crudely but I don't crap where I eat. It is a principle of mine because I need to eat and have a home."

social_mule · 2022-09-05T22:55:24+00:00

because it’s work, the innuendo is very sparse but when drunk they will take the leap and just ask if I want to have sex.

r/holup

You're getting drunk at work? Does HR know about this?

Someone somewhere else in the thread gave the best answer. Say no in a way that makes it about professional boundaries and not her personally.

2022-09-06T03:37:13+00:00

If they only want sex from you or can’t take “no” for an answer, their friendship isn’t worth regaining.

King-SAMO · 2022-09-05T13:59:59+00:00

Have you ever tried pretending to be gay? Got me out of so many uncomfortable situations where women mistook my winsome dimpled smile, relaxed wit, and eye contact for flirting/a whole ass relationship in her head.

Mouse1701 · 2022-09-05T14:22:01+00:00

Honestly dude unless a woman is related or it's pertaining to business,job, sales or going to college like professor to to student just don't engage in any behavior with them. Quit wasting your time effort, energy, money , validation, attention on them. Don't look at them don't talk with them. It certainly clears things up. Don't make eye contact with them. Don't smile at them.I don't want advice from them I don't want money from them ,I don't want help from them. Half the time I don't want sex from them. Once you take away their looks and sex from them you certainly don't have a lot now do you. I have given up trying to wife one up find a mother for my children or being a good homemaker. Try to findone that will just make u a sandwich is difficult enough unless she has a low smv.

EatMyFleshSon · 2022-09-05T15:20:50+00:00

Tell them you have a girlfriend

Or build into your little show/bit/whatever you do, build into it a comment of "now ladies I do wanna let you know, I know I'm pretty, I know you love me, I love yall too, but this is my job and lots of you have men at home so let's keep this fun and professional! So let's all keep to keep our hands to ourselves and our hotek room keys in our pockets or purses, and let's have a good time!"

Or if you're at a bar you can have a sign up that says like "please don't seduce the bartenders, this is their job, we know they're great, just admire"

You could even make it themed, bitches loved themed shit. Make it like a zoo display and put fake plants and parrots around

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boyatrest · 2022-09-05T17:35:20+00:00

What eww. Men dont have that problem

carritotaquito · 2022-09-05T20:18:27+00:00

I’m pretty good at handling romantic rejection. I learned to not take it personal many years ago.

Complex-Glass-8539 · 2022-09-05T23:23:51+00:00

If you figure it out bud, you let me know. I’ve had it happen once where she was still cool with me, but she propositioned me knowing that may be the case and put no pressure on me….every other woman I denied did not like me after.

One broke the back window of my car the next day with a brick, she was a dime piece I flirted with since high school, but a bit of a thug lover, her bf was going to prison for a while as a full on gun toting drug dealer and she wanted consistent dick while he was away and assumed my slutty ass would provide, I would have too if she was actually single, or at least had a bf I could take on, that dude was a dangerous psychopath.

Only thing that could help, I was always awkward, and too blunt with my denials, because it’s a damn awkward situation. I wasn’t mean or rude, just a bit too matter of fact giving a clear “no”…..that is probably not the right way to do things with most women. They want the excuse and the “I would….but” to give them an out with their ego.

It’s a woman culture thing, just watch how women turn the other down for hanging out, no one says “I don’t feel like it” they all make up some excuse.

Adventurous_Health93 · 2022-09-06T00:58:45+00:00

No. There isn't. If a woman can't handle being turned down, they more than likely have some issues that need to be dealt with.

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-09-06T01:26:08+00:00

The women you believe admire you probably aren’t admiring you they’re just being friendly because it’s a workplace.

Title	Is it possible to turn down sex with a woman and not lose a fan
Author	edjohn88
Upvotes	48
Comments	139
Date	September 5, 2022 11:29 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/x6dvtg/is_it_possible_to_turn_down_sex_with_a_woman_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-possible-to-turn-down-sex-with-a-woman-and.1208862 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208862

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