How to deal with the fact that my stbxw is going to be sleeping with other people

cactuscharlie · 2023-09-19T23:03:19+00:00

One thing that helps is the old Hollywood line "Show me a beautiful girl and I'll show you someone who's tired of fucking her".

cactuscharlie · 2023-09-19T22:57:39+00:00

It sucks. That's all there is to talk about. Anyone can get laid, but yeah, sorry my wife is super hot and does everything in bed. So yeah I'm jealous that some dude gets to fuck my wife.

This bugged the hell out of me at first. It just sucks. But there's nothing to do about that fact. Just accept it. That's the only way out.

It's happening or it's going to happen. There is literally nothing you can do about it. It just is what it is. Accept it. You will drive yourself crazy otherwise.

Flashy_Yam967 · 2023-09-19T22:35:44+00:00

Hit the dating scene yourself or go to a strip club and get used to thinking about other women again

DocHolliday80 · 2023-09-20T00:27:01+00:00

She belongs to the streets now, you have to let her go

mcw33 · 2023-09-19T22:38:00+00:00

Just process it as best as you can really, keep busy, do gym, see friends etc.

My boats a bit different we separated over 2 months ago but I’ve found out she’s been going out and fucking guys behind my back, anywhere really, in my house, at work, at their houses etc.

Just need to give it time, sort out your mental state, keep busy and move on from her. It’s going to suck and there’s no real cure at least that I’ve found.

You’ll eventually find someone new yourself and you’ll be mentally ok as that attachment phase will pass.

techrmd3 · 2023-09-19T23:11:44+00:00

women practice the following advice at some point "best way to get over a man is to get under a new one"

I have to admit the sleeping with thing didn't get me as much as the obvious hysterical bonding to new dude my ex did. I mean she actually said to me "I've shared more with new luv BF in 2 months than I did in 20 years with you".

I remember getting serious with a girlfriend and after sexy time lying awake looking at the ceiling thinking "gee I'm not really feeling the feelings for ex anymore after good sexy time with new woman... wonder if that's the reason she got over me quick"

Metallicatica · 2023-09-19T23:26:58+00:00

It's trite and it's overused but it still rings true : The best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody.

Apprehensive-Cost496 · 2023-09-19T23:49:37+00:00

Get out there and start knocking boots with another woman or women. Works both ways my man!

FairCar7137 · 2023-09-20T00:23:18+00:00

Try negative imaging, think about her fucking dude 10x better than you in every way until you get tired of picturing it. Sucks in the process but I will help in the long run.

hazalo9 · 2023-09-20T00:54:33+00:00

Go NO CONTACT. It's hard at first but you will get used to not caring about it.

iamnotyoutoday · 2023-09-19T23:42:44+00:00

take some comfort in knowing that no many how many men she hooks up with ... she will never have a 15 year long relationship.

aquatone61 · 2023-09-19T23:47:51+00:00

Me personally, I could care less. If she can find somebody to put up with her dumb ass, they can have her.

12amrdr · 2023-09-20T00:15:33+00:00

To get over her get under another chic. Stop holding sex on a pedestal. She ain't yours anymore. Don't sulk in it or it will eat you up. Fuck some sluts and buy that race care you always wanted.

rookiepatchaut · 2023-09-20T00:00:18+00:00

I’m assuming she wasn’t a virgin when she met you (correct me if I’m wrong).

Just remember then that she slept with guys before you, and now your just one of the guys she’s slept with before the current guy.

I read this recently here, but we like to think our ex had a unique set of physical features, but they’re actually pretty standard on all models.

Hang in there buddy. You’re not alone. We’ve all gone through it. But time does heal. It just takes time, is what sucks, so try to pack your calendar and stay busy. Fly to Southeast Asia or Eastern Europe if you can, and just have a blast. You’re older now, so prob have more disposable income to let loose abroad.

thro281 · 2023-09-20T00:02:00+00:00

I’m 5 months in and we still live together. I’ve spoken to women but no sex yet. I found out she was dating someone else. I prepped myself for this moment and I initiated the end of the marriage but it still sucks. However, just realize you will have sex again and once you do it will be a far trade. She will eventually feel empty the more guys she sleeps with because sex isn’t important to the majority of women and you will feel fulfilled because sex is important to us.

MiniJunkie · 2023-09-19T23:21:04+00:00

It’s gotta be brutally hard, but I imagine the best way to get past it is get out there yourself and get some.

Jonger1150 · 2023-09-20T00:06:49+00:00

Hey OP.

My ex-wife was on a BDSM hookup site, and I found her profile based on just enough info to know where to look.

Nude pics and all her kinks were listed. Anal, threesomes, leash play......etc.

Guess what? I don't give a shit today. It gets better.

Accomplished-Toe5220 · 2023-09-20T00:31:27+00:00

Why aren't you sleeping with other people. In today's society you will never have a wife or girlfriend... You only rent the girl for a little time not unlike a common whore in the days of old.

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2023-09-20T00:45:03+00:00

Get some mental help for your anxiety.

Or go and sleep with a bunch of hotter, sexier, women who are better in bed than your ex. You will soon not give a fuck about who fucks.

antREDcoe · 2023-09-20T00:51:23+00:00

Not sure this helps, but she most likely did already did it, probably while you were still married. So it is all done and dusted. She’s gone.

blearowl · 2023-09-20T00:55:21+00:00

The more you can go no contact with her and not see the more you can start to heal.

SuperConfused40 · 2023-09-20T01:10:26+00:00

It hurts a lot, but you have to move on. It doesn't matter what she does anymore.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-09-20T01:21:40+00:00

Not as many as you.

Similar-Guitar-6 · 2023-09-20T01:41:55+00:00

My wife and i are separated 3 years. She left for greener grass. Last year I started seeing pics and clips of her and her new boyfriend on FB, so I deleted FB. Excellent move.

It's been very hard. Maybe because of my ego. Maybe because I guess she really didn't love me enough to keep her vows.

There is a line in the song 'I'll Be Around,' by the Spinners: You made your choice, and now it's up to me, to bow out gracefully. That's hard, but the right thing to do. Live and let live.

There's a saying: Sometimes our greatest blessings are unanswered prayers. Even though we can't see it at the moment.

Feelalonedepressed · 2023-09-20T01:43:20+00:00

This may not seem like any consolation but odds are very good your ex is going to find out the grass isn’t greener on the other side. The dating pool is kind of a shitshow for “older” divorced women but it’s fantastic for good men. She may have some fun at the start but that’s going to get old really quick and she’s going to find out the hard way that good men in the older dating pool are rare. Most likely she’s going to end up miserable but you’ll move on to someone great that appreciates you and in the end that will put her in the same spot you’re in now. I know that might not help you feel better at this moment but it really is kind of a long game for men after divorce, and the odds are definitely in your favor.

Lumpy-Prior3261 · 2023-09-20T01:51:55+00:00

Well so will you unless your going underground or something you talk like you will just curl up in a ball and do nothing I can tell you life goes in remarried and lost my second wife to cancer at 36 years old now I'm with another woman and have been for 13 years I'm now 54. The world doesn't stop spinning because your getting divorced .if you both weren't happy it's better to cut it out now

JD-Anderson · 2023-09-20T02:00:16+00:00

My ex slutted out for close to a decade before someone decided to wife her up again. I’ve had the best sex post divorce. Women in their 30’s and 40’s really can be fun.

tdwriter2003 · 2023-09-20T02:04:43+00:00

You have to accept the unacceptable to survive.

probebeta · 2023-09-20T07:41:10+00:00

It's not easy to deal with it, but quite frankly I know I can do better than her. Focus on you now, do the work, be the best version of you. Good things will come, I promise you.

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