Are women turned off by men that dont have friends or other women interested in them ?

CandidMap · 2023-11-27T10:07:22+00:00

Women want to feel they have somebody important , and if you are not king she will not be your queen

EulenWatcher · 2023-11-27T07:09:55+00:00

A total lack of friends is concerning but it isn’t a total turn off on its own. I’d guess the reasoning behind a lack of friends has more to do with women eventually losing interest. I.e. low social skills, extreme introversion or rather social idolization and a lack of social circle, maybe being on the spectrum etc. can make it hard to find friends and even harder to find a partner.

relish5k · 2023-11-27T14:08:03+00:00

Yes it’s called “social proof.” If you are a non-drinker try to make relationships (and friendships) with other non-drinkers

thelajestic · 2023-11-27T12:34:38+00:00

If someone has no friends then their partner becomes the beginning and end of all their social interaction. It isn't healthy and will generally lead to problems. It also has the potential to end terribly if the relationship is ending/partner dies etc because suddenly the one with no friends is left completely isolated with no support for this big life change.

Purple_Cruncher_123 · 2023-11-27T07:53:03+00:00

I noticed if woman is interested in a guy but she finds out that he doesnt have friends or/ and other women arnt interested in the guy she loses interest

Most women do not want to spend 24/7 attached to their partner at the hip. So yes, they will probably lose interest. It suggests the man in question leads a very isolated lifestyle, which doesn't appeal to most people in general, let alone the women who might date him.

Why is that ? Are you gonna date the other people or the man you like ?

Speaking as a man, who has been friends with other men who have almost no other social contact besides me, it's draining. You sort of become an outlet for their social needs, while they are just one of your many social maintenances. A woman who dates a man so socially isolated will probably feel that sense of burden, especially since she's his significant other.

I dont have friends because all the people around me like clubbing and heavy drinking , and other women arnt very interested because im introverted and even if they flirt with me i cant tell

People, not just women, enjoy those who are social or at least capable of holding their own socially. It does sound like your immediate surroundings do not share your interests. I ended up moving to a big city and found a circle who are more like-minded and thrived that way. But yes, even introverts are generally expected to have some amount of mingling. I do it through D&D and guys' night for social/emotional support for example. But I also do bar nights, fantasy football, local volunteering, etc. I get my introversion fix late at night and early in the morning when the lady's asleep/while the world is quiet.

MidoriEgg · 2023-11-27T07:53:23+00:00

I personally see having no friends as a red flag in a potential partner, because it indicates an inability to maintain relationships, or that they aren’t fun/pleasant to be around in the long term. Also means you could end up being their only support system. But that’s just me.

MistyMaisel · 2023-11-27T16:43:50+00:00

It's a yellow flag and heavily dependent on the period of life.

Like, if you're in college or high school and have zero friends or anyone interested in you...yeah, that's pretty strange. Simply because you're surrounded by people and opportunities, so why don't you have anyone?

But if you're say early workforce, just moved or all your friends moved away...not so bad, right? Kind of makes sense.

mrs_seng · 2023-11-27T07:22:49+00:00

The turnoff is not because he doesn't have friends per se, but because of the same reasons behind the fact that he doesn't have friends.

Lack of social skills is a common reason behind not having friends and not having a gf.

Low self esteem is a common reason behind not having friends and not having a gf.

Being very introverted is a common reason behind not having friends and not having a gf.

Being socially awkward is a common reason behind not having friends and not having a gf.

Being constantly indoors is a common reason behind not having friends and not having a gf.

2023-11-27T08:50:30+00:00

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sweetestpineapple · 2023-11-27T07:46:55+00:00

It’s a bit strange to not even have one friend and be a complete loner. Even if it’s your cousin or something. Or coworkers that you occasionally hang out with outside of work. I get that it’s often not your fault though. People move, get into relationships and cut you off, or drift apart for other reasons. I also struggle with friendships and am not nearly as social as I’d like to be. I just think that having absolutely no one to hang out with besides me would put tons of pressure on the relationship.

It’s usually hard to tell if other women are interested in a guy because they don’t make it as obvious. Having had a few past relationships is a decent indicator. Not having friends and family be visibly disgusted when you show them his picture is another.

SameNotice4306 · 2023-11-27T10:19:57+00:00

I don’t care if no woman is interested in him. Other women don’t determine what I do.

I care if he does not have one friend he can call when he needs a bro. It’s healthy for a man to have other male friends in his life.

They don’t need to be super BFFs like me and my girls but he needs one bro out there who cares about him and understands his masculine experience in a way I can’t.

Spiritual-Agent7641 · 2023-11-27T08:46:49+00:00

I'm not sure about the friends part (do you really mean NO friends, at all?) but I can assuredly say that if I were interested in someone, I could not care less if another woman is into him or not. That's such a weird thing for a woman to care about, in my opinion.

boredom4321 · 2023-11-27T10:09:43+00:00

0 friend of any kind is one of the biggest red flags I can think of. Forget dating I wouldn't want to interact with someone like that for very long because if you don't have any kind of relationship in your life there's something you aren't doing. Being introverted doesn't mean living like a hermit.

Cool_Relative7359 · 2023-11-27T12:05:35+00:00

Whether other women like him/her is irrelevant (if it's in the find him/her romantically attractive sense) . If it's in the "don't like to be around him/her at all" yeah that's a huge red flag.

Him/her not having friends is a dealbreaker for dating as far as Im concerned.

A partner cannot take the place of a whole community and if you try you'll burn out. And many people who don't have a friendgroup start resenting your social life. I like my social life and my friends, it's not up for discussion.

And I'm not willing to do that much emotional labour (taking over the emotional support of a whole community).

Plus a lot of healthy relationship skills are the same as healthy friendship skills. Which means people without friends haven't developed them. And the learning curve is much steeper in a relationship.

(if someone doesn't have any local friends coz they just moved, or other reasons like this, thats understandable.)

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2023-11-27T10:10:18+00:00

A man who has friends but no female friends is an absolutely enormous red flag. No friends isn't actively a turn off, but it's definitely a thing to question.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-11-27T18:38:08+00:00

Yes. I don’t want to be with a guy who has no social life and has zero friends or acquaintances outside do work. I’ve always been interested in more extroverted men who have a lot of friends and are very well-liked by a number of people. That’s not to say that introverted people wouldn’t be well-liked if they got out and socialized. It’s just a personal preference for me.

philseven12 · 2023-11-27T07:16:32+00:00

generally yeah, but its not something that she should be able to pick up on easily. especially upon first meeting. if a woman does “detect” that you have low social value and no options then thats a sign of needing to make some changes.

i don’t really have friends that i run with consistently, but i can go out to a bar or club and get along with ppl easily and get included in what they got going on. free drinks, free shots, get a discount on cover charge at the door etc

this shouldn’t make or break your status with a woman if youre properly investing in your social life.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-11-27T14:06:47+00:00

I don’t care if other women are interested in him or not. How would I even know.

Not having friends is a bit of an issue. I don’t want to be his entire social outlet or support system. That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone and friendships are important.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-11-27T18:26:41+00:00

I'd find it hard to date someone without friends. Either they've done something to turn every single other person away and I expect I'll find shortly I'm not any different, or it's by choice and my lifestyle is not going to be compatible with that of a total hermit. Assuming he wants to even talk to me, and I'm not sure why I'd be special if he finds no other people worthy of conversation, being someone's entire social life is a big burden plus he presumably wouldn't be interested in attending any social activities with me. If other women aren't interested that's a green flag, means I can go right ahead and get what I want without that kind of complication.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-11-27T18:38:54+00:00

No. It's even better, I can have him all to myself.

Safinated · 2023-11-27T19:26:23+00:00

I’m not interested in men who are unlikable to people, or unable/unwilling to like people

thetruthishere_ · 2023-11-28T04:41:07+00:00

Lack of friends is suspect, at least one.

Reality most people really only have maybe a few really close friends and others are more surface level. I dont think anyone needs lots of friends.

Until his sub Ive never even thought about if other women wanted him and it was a 'thing'. Logically I could see something like this in junior high/high school and even into college but in adulthood? Maybe some?

I dont know... its do I like him or not? Another I dont know Im not not into thinking about other women hes been with, dated, other women wanting him, etc. LOL We are just all about each other and others dont matter. I personally find this all weird.

uglysaladisugly · 2023-11-29T11:09:44+00:00

1) I don't want to share every single little part of my life with my boyfriend. So if he doesn't have his own circle of friends I would think it will be difficult to find time apart.

2) I don't want to be the only emotional support, socializing opportunity of my boyfriend. Without hi own friend, who else is he gonna turn to when I'm not available?

3) I want my boyfriend to enrich my life with his experiences, his friend circle, his hobbies, etc . If he doesn't have friends, it means I will never be invited to eat or drink or play games with these other people and I will feel as if the relationship doesn't bring me much openness.

4) I want my boyfriend to have his own rich and fulfilling life outside of our couple so he can bring new energy, stories and stuff from outside in our life together. If he doesn't have friends, what is he gonna talk to me about when we see each other? How is he ever gonna have new experiences, opinions, ideas, etc. to share with me?

volleyballbeach · 2023-12-02T01:06:52+00:00

I see it as a red flag if a man has zero female friends. It makes me wonder whether he views women as “worthy” of his friendship and if not that is both the sort of man I want to date. It also makes me wonder whether he has a history of behaving in ways that cause women not to want to be friends with him.

Title	Are women turned off by men that dont have friends or other women interested in them ?
Author	ticaaaa
Upvotes	20
Comments	52
Date	November 27, 2023 7:00 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/184wz3p/are_women_turned_off_by_men_that_dont_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-women-turned-off-by-men-that-dont-have-friends.1239455 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239455

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