genuine question but how do you personally treat women you’re not attracted to?

CrimsonPompadour · 2022-07-24T22:15:17+00:00

I usually would kind of act like, talk to them like another guy. Except without typical guy to guy mannerism. Just polite, friendly, avoid unnecessary/inappropriate conversation topics.

Electric_kundalini · 2022-07-24T21:24:08+00:00

Being friendly?

Just because I’m not attracted to said person doesn’t mean they don’t deserve respect. If a Woman treated you like shit because she’s not into you I’m sure you’d have a problem.

ParticularAmazing112 · 2022-07-24T22:30:16+00:00

Believe or not, better. I treat women I’m not attracted to better because I don’t have any agenda toward them. You do the same to a woman you’re attracted to and you end up in the zone that’s not to be mentioned lol

appmanga · 2022-07-24T21:01:23+00:00

All of that is sad. I've never categorized people in this way and I believe everyone is worthy of respect until they prove they're not.

TheBlindBard16 · 2022-07-25T00:52:42+00:00

I’d say most of that was true but women do the same thing to men. I used to be 40 pounds heavier and dressed in usually black clothes to make it less obvious. Women would earnestly look in a different direction if I looked their way or simply wouldn’t regard me at all, conversation was quick/neutral/emotionless, they’d lock their car doors and switch to the other side of the street if they saw me coming, etc.

I lost the weight, they now keep eye contact with me/smile/wave/try to have conversation with me and generally treat me positively and like I exist. I imagine the slightly excessive claims you listed probably stem from women having a higher expectation of the opposite sex approaching or being friendly to them bc that’s how it works from their perspective.

Not a gender behavior, it’s just people.

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-24T22:18:33+00:00

The difference between charisma and charm:

Charisma is more than the words that are said. It involves voice modulation, cadence, and body language. Effective charisma can express a variety of emotions and intensity without losing the ability to be a likable person and hold attention.

Charm is the specific implementation of charisma in a given scenario.

If you aren't attracted to a girl, you don't charm her. It's that simple. You can still be charismatic.

2022-07-24T21:50:41+00:00

Treat them like I want to be treated. As a human being having a human experience. I don't treat people bad or worse, but I will be honest and say we can be friends.

Mo3 · 2022-07-24T22:57:09+00:00

… like any other human being? I’m not even gonna start on these claims

Magn1ficentUn1corn · 2022-07-25T02:32:35+00:00

I treat them like they're human beings

StevePreston__ · 2022-07-25T05:22:33+00:00

Oh, so basically how most women treat most men all the time.

great_account · 2022-07-24T22:43:42+00:00

Be nice. Women are human beings. I personally find the average woman regardless of physical attractiveness more engaging than men. Most men are really boring to talk to. So just talk to them like anyone else.

Franz_McN · 2022-07-24T22:37:07+00:00

Just treat them as any other person. I don't assume anything until they say something explicitly, even if the hints are not subtle anymore, I just keep my cool and keep being myself around them, it is not their fault they have such bad taste in men so I don't treat them harshly because of it.

pdcGhost · 2022-07-24T23:17:56+00:00

I am respectful toward women I am not attracted to. I would help them if they need help or hold open the door. I mostly do the friendzone thing. I do agree with some of the things on the post, I would definitely give a cold shoulder or not being flirtacious toward girls I am not attracted to that also attempt to flirt with me. I generally want a woman who looks average weight or thinner and I don't think that is out of my league. Not picky with Hair Color but I do find Redheads my favorite (but understand that will be rare) I don't think a chubbier woman is out of the question, but they would have to have some other qualities that would be desirable.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2022-07-24T20:56:16+00:00

I treat women I am not attracted to with chivalry, I am polite and well mannered and respectful because I have no agenda, so I treat them good. Since even below average girls have that internet generated sense of entitlement and think they are hotter than they actually are, treating them well turns them off just as much as the very attractive women, so I'm more or less repelling them on purpose.

viru69 · 2022-07-25T00:41:49+00:00

My coworker is unattractive girl (really that bad) with insecurities, first impression I was nice and offered her a cup of tea and I was ordering breakfast so I politely asked if she wants too, she refused politely and I didn't insist so I dont look like a creep. Anyway, the next day I got near her to grap something related to work, she jumped out from the chair like I'm threatening her or she is freaked out by me and every time I get near her act like that, so i eventually stopped care and started treating her somehow bad ( like ordering food for myself not care if she wants some, making myself a coffee..) now I guess she is getting more comfortable? She started to open up conversation and stuff. From being nice to being bad she gets attracted to it. Smh

tlthang · 2022-07-24T21:18:14+00:00

Uhm let say that unattractive person is your mom, how would you like your mom to be treated by strangers. And treat that person as how a stranger would treat your mom.

Sapper501 · 2022-07-24T22:54:51+00:00

With kindness and respect. Build a working relationship because before you burn that bridge, think about what good things might come across it.

fakingglory · 2022-07-25T01:24:34+00:00

As friends.

rudebwoy100 · 2022-07-25T04:22:35+00:00

I'm definitely not stopping my car to fix a tyre for a fat woman but i definitely will hold a door for one as it's just common courtesy where i'm from.

h7hh77 · 2022-07-25T04:50:10+00:00

I just try to be nice. No flirting though, so they won't get any ideas, I don't look them in the eyes as long as I would, don't stand too close, less physical contact. Other than that, pretty much the same.

2022-07-25T06:52:04+00:00

I think most men that have some sense of culture would treat them more or less like any other human, excluding any effort for romantic interest. They would pay less attention to them, don't make much effort to please them or hold conversation, it is perfectly normal to invest most of your resources towards a girl you like the most in social circumstances. Imagine that men are receiving close to none attention, and even often contempt from women if they are not among the best males around, that's law of the jungle in animal world, it can't be helped.

Horror_Replacement39 · 2022-07-25T09:04:06+00:00

I’d say it’s mostly true although I personally try to be pleasant and polite with everyone.

Attractiveness is a form of value that applies to all humans.

If you have less value to offer then you’ll be treated as less valuable.

It works both ways regarding men too.

It’s just how the world works.

surfershane25 · 2022-07-25T14:36:54+00:00

Like people, having women you’re not attracted to as friends have been some of the best wingmen I’ve ever had. Just the fact that you have female friends validates you as being much less likely of being a creep or weird or misogynistic etc.

Spetsnaz1776 · 2022-07-24T20:52:26+00:00

be careful sometimes treating them like shit makes them like you more

SuaveFuck · 2022-07-24T22:45:57+00:00

i treat objects like women.

2022-07-25T00:16:04+00:00

I am friendly to all individuals regardless of their level of attraction.

Be a good human, treat others well, and smile every time you lock eyes with someone. The world we live in is rough these days, you never know what’s going on in a stranger’s life and one simple smile or kind act might just change their day.

Tannerite2 · 2022-07-24T21:23:08+00:00

I feel like this is a post by an unnactrive woman who's annoyed at being treated like a normal person instead of a hot girl.

Generally, I try to treat everyone the same except flirting with women I'm attracted to.

Some men definitely cater to attractive women, but I think that most don't treat unattractive women much differently than they do men.

2022-07-24T21:03:43+00:00

You treat anyone like you would want to be treated. Btw- That unattractive woman might have attractive looking friends.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-24T20:34:35+00:00

Like shit, they are subhuman scum anyway.

2022-07-24T23:23:29+00:00

Treat then very well. Why treat them like any less ?

If I'm worried about someone catching feelings for me, I'll still treat them nicely and with respect. I'll just distance myself and won't be too invested in them.

You want to treat other women as respectfully and as compassionately as possible. Referrals are a thing. Women will hook you up with their friends if they know you're a stand up guy

Disturbed_Aidan · 2022-07-24T23:48:00+00:00

I don’t tend to treat them differently or any worse than the average person though I’m more attentive to an attractive woman because it feels good to interact with them.

whoischigozie · 2022-07-25T00:07:37+00:00

With respect

aidsjohnson · 2022-07-25T00:10:38+00:00

I can honestly say that I am generally at the same level of niceness to everyone. Am I more attracted to an "8/10 blonde girl"? Yes, of course. But I think it's so obvious if you're more nice to someone just for attraction reasons. Super cheesy, I wouldn't do that lol.

dr_tel · 2022-07-25T00:18:15+00:00

Like they're dudes

Jsmooveprov · 2022-07-25T00:33:53+00:00

I abstain from flirting and anything that’d suggest I’d like to be more than friends, but I treat them like a human being.

2022-07-25T00:44:38+00:00

Men should always be civil at the bare minimum I think.

But just because one man doesn't find you attractive doesn't mean all men won't.
Men have some very diverse and weird and kinky fetishes and may find the look attractive.

When a guy sleeps around a lot, he will have hooked up with a lot of different girls all over the inclusion and diversity department.

bytheninedivines · 2022-07-25T00:55:04+00:00

I treat them, and all girls, the same as I would treat anyone else. But because of all the simps, girls think I'm being toxic when I don't put them on a pedestal. (Which ironically they love)

SuggarTitsJones · 2022-07-25T01:29:52+00:00

Well.

Treat them well.

Not only because it's good to be nice to people, but also, for entirely self serving reasons - People talk - Women talk to each other and have eyes and empathy. If you get a reputation as someone who treats undesirable qomen as 'less than' you will be seen as a dick.

Injured_Fox · 2022-07-25T02:18:39+00:00

Like any other person.

I Hold doors for everyone within about 15 feet away. I’ve changed 3 flats for women I’ve seen on side of road. 18 30s 60s we’re about ages. Once helped a 70 year old couple push there car off the highway to a safer spot. I don’t believe in leagues.

So disagree for me personally, with a caveat of yeah some guys do do that

Jimmyw34g · 2022-07-25T02:25:12+00:00

Like shit lmao

DontTakePeopleSrsly · 2022-07-25T02:27:04+00:00

You treat all of them with dignity & respect, because they’re always watching; especially when you think they aren’t.

ahillbilly97 · 2022-07-25T03:28:35+00:00

Gotta be nice.

Unselfish reason: be a good person

Selfish reason: so being nice to the baddies isn’t unnatural for you

olgnolgnall · 2022-07-25T03:30:00+00:00

I treat them exactly as if they are male

nourmallysalty · 2022-07-25T03:45:55+00:00

like a human being tf

Mundane-Currency5088 · 2022-07-25T03:47:53+00:00

Um.like a human being. I realize how hard it is to treat someone like they have thoughts and feelings like you do when you do not actually feel it after you hurt them. Weird right? It's almost like you need to treat everyone like they matter just in case they matter to your personal gain

MattsFace · 2022-07-25T04:03:45+00:00

They are humans and I treat mostly all humans with the same respect!

marcusdj813 · 2022-07-25T04:17:12+00:00

I just treat them like I would anyone else. I end up having to interact with women I'm not attracted to and I still treat them with respect. Anything less than that will bite you in the ass.

2022-07-25T05:03:51+00:00

Well the thing is that men tend to supplication to attractive women. Not just men but society in general. Women notice this happening to them after they lose wieght and not before or they notice that it happens to thier attractive friends but not them. So they assume that anything other than supplication is being treated badly. In reality they are just being treated how the average man treated instead of getting special treatment.

parasitius · 2022-07-25T05:45:02+00:00

i treat them like men...

and that's not even true because there is no special treatment for men, it is literally one unified category of people I'm not attracted to or not supposed to be attracted to (includes friend's wives, my female doctor who is checking my penis for an STD, somebody who is doing their job and there is a long line, female police, etc.)

NastyMonkeyKing · 2022-07-25T05:46:05+00:00

It's called pretty privilege, at least what I call it.

Your whole life gets different and everyone treats you differently. Even when I was mentally unstable after a rough experience. But I lost 40 pounds so far and life is already easier. Girls approach me, not all the time but it was never before. And girls will compliment our mention my style, which again never happened before.

People like and treat attractive good looking people better. Consciously and sub consciously.

It's kinda fucked up since everyone always talks about personality, but that's the cold hard truth of our world.

A great quote that helps me stay motivated and realistic: if you don't want to be judged on your appearance. Then you should change your appearance.

goonsquad1149 · 2022-07-25T06:28:56+00:00

Personally, I’m more comfortable around women I don’t find attractive. Always down to make another friend, and beautiful women make me nervous

Tuki2ki2 · 2022-07-25T06:43:22+00:00

Talk/ treat them how I would like to be. Simples.

2022-07-25T07:22:31+00:00

everyone has something to offer...

akihonj · 2022-07-25T07:38:31+00:00

I treat them as they treat me, simple as that.

Most men do the same, data shows that the women men aren't attracted to are either treated the same as any other friend, acquaintance.

In most cases women who are complaining that us men are cold to them is perception, they perceive that we are cold to them, don't open doors for them etc but have a total lack of self awareness.

Why would I open a door for any woman I'm not directly attracted to, haven't women been saying for generations now they an open their own doors.

Why would I show a woman any more warmth than I'd show any other man, again haven't women been asking to be treated as an equal.

This is where many women fall over themselves, asking for one thing but expecting something else. It doesn't work, you can either expect help from men and by extension ask for men to take responsibility or reject traditional roles, in which case you then lose the right to expect anything from men.

You also lose the right to expect better treatment from men because of your own lack of attraction, you're treated indifferently, just as men are treated in general.

You then have what you've asked for.

andr386 · 2022-07-25T07:39:00+00:00

I disagree as I tend to treat everybody the same way in a social situation. Maybe because I am a good person, but also because the girls I am interested in will obviously notice any kind of shallowness.

Also I believe in the social circle effect. So joking with the children and the grandparents or whomever makes the situation interesting is only a good thing for me and increases my value.

I think that most of the people I know actually behave that way. Usually when I feel discriminated and think it's my appearance ... it is not.
It's often a different kind of snobism. Some girls only talks or befriends musicians, and so on.

OreOscar1232 · 2022-07-25T07:43:39+00:00

I agree, it’s noted in psychology that men base most of their attraction based on looks (generalization but a useful one none the less), where as women look for maturity, confidence, ability, reliability, and of course looks still play a part.

That’s why it’s usually very uncommon to see a man who’s skinny, timid, and poor with a highly attractive woman, but seeing a man who is physically repulsive with a gorgeous woman is common. That’s why old rich men date really young women, it’s a literal biological match.

Now I would be lying if I said that I’m attracted to women who are fatter, I’d also be lying if I said that looks don’t matter. Ultimately they do on both sides. I agree with the sentiment because it lines up with evolutionary biological fact.

I don’t personally care whether you are fat or ugly, being respectful is a matter of code. A code you live by, if you can’t put your tribal sex addicted monkey brain behind respect and treat anyone the same as you would anyone else that’s your issue. So yes I agree, and yes I understand it can be demeaning, but yes, it’s completely normal and to be expected.

If you have a problem with what I’ve said, actually think back to your previous partners, previous lovers, one night stands, short term and long term, and really tell me I’m wrong.

Ultimately all of us are trying to do the same thing, meeting someone that we can love entirely. The differences between us, however, are obvious and if we focus on just being healthy, just being the best version of ourselves, all the rest comes naturally.

bandsupjay · 2022-07-25T07:53:21+00:00

Normal

VNF420 · 2022-07-25T08:34:47+00:00

I try my best to treat them like other women I'm not attracted to, so I'm kind and fun with them but I make sure they don't get the wrong idea.

vespa85 · 2022-07-25T08:54:33+00:00

Do you sometimes feel when you are in company or two women, that by flirting with attractive woman while just being friendly to the unattractive one you are sort of desrespecting the unattractive one? Somehow I feel like I'm being mean to the unattractive woman in that situation, even though it doesn't make complete sense.

Any ideas why is that, or how I should act to not feel that way?

DestroyerOfNuts95 · 2022-07-25T08:57:16+00:00

As a old saying goes "treat others with respect and respect shall be given to you" is a way of mine to treat anyone I don't find appealing or attractive. Or just say I'm just polite and friendly but never indifferent to anyone because all human beings deserve some minimal respect to their being.

Raiders2112 · 2022-07-25T09:56:36+00:00

I was raised to treat a lady with respect no matter what, and that's what I do. I am not going to treat someone different just because I'm not attracted to them.

1Dragon_ · 2022-07-25T10:01:24+00:00

Women are harsh to men they don't like and men are cold to women they don't like.

It's from both genders.

Amikatey · 2022-07-25T10:34:14+00:00

I think its true. The way you treat them is to just treat them good and don't escalate its the ESCALATION that makes the difference

marekforst · 2022-07-25T10:43:53+00:00

People tend to treat better looking people better. That's just fact. Even when they don't want to they still do it subconsciously. I personally try to treat everyone same. Being friendly and polite. So "no shit Sherlock". It is what it is. Deal with it.

MysticYounger · 2022-07-25T11:26:10+00:00

people do not open doors for them

they could be carrying something heavy or need help with a flat tire and no one would stop and help, unless she was an attractive woman

Sounds about right unless I see them hanging girl I fancy. But she has a bf then I go back to the first 2 points

says that guys would literally spend all their attention on their attractive friend while ignoring them completely

It's good to bring your friend to keep the shit one occupied. But I've learnt the hard way you need to treat to the ugly friend nice if you want the good one.

joeyggg · 2022-07-25T11:38:07+00:00

You can be nice to them and attractive to them even if you’re not interested in them. It’s not leading them on unless you go too far like exchanging numbers and talking dirty etc. plus if you have a lot of women interested in you it’s a really good thing that will help you get noticed.

slicklol · 2022-07-25T13:07:17+00:00

I for sure treat women I am attracted to worse than women I am not attracted to. Probably because I am a bit of a contrarian and that definitely helps with projecting a non-needy posture.

tudorcj · 2022-07-25T13:37:43+00:00

Nah, it’s all wrong. If a guy won’t even do common courtesy around an “unattractive woman” it’s almost always because she gives off a bad vibe and she seems clingy; I wouldn’t change a woman’s car tire regardless of her attractiveness, if I get the feeling that she’ll misinterpret things. “Attractive” people are usually more confident though and there’s no risk of misinterpreting things like this.

But what if she likes him? It’s exactly the same story for the guys: not all the girls that we like actually like us back. You just have to accept that and focus on the ones that will reciprocate.

Gnostromo · 2022-07-25T14:08:13+00:00

This is basically the same for guys that are not 6ft tall or over

I treat them "Friend zone" if I like them for lack of a better term but the other women are in civil acquaintance zone.

And yes when I say I can't get a girlfriend that means I can't get a girlfriend in a certain number range . Guess what? If youre not finding them attractive then they are not your girlfriend.

LoopyMercutio · 2022-07-25T14:27:00+00:00

I treat them exactly the same as everyone else- that means I’m polite, friendly, will hold the door for them (I do that for everyone anyway, unless I don’t like you), and I’ll help out if needed.

No reason not to, and every reason to simply be decent. It’s good karma.

scientist_1990 · 2022-07-25T14:35:21+00:00

With respect.

Title	genuine question but how do you personally treat women you’re not attracted to?
Author	millscuzimhot
Upvotes	98
Comments	100
Date	July 24, 2022 8:33 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w756or/genuine_question_but_how_do_you_personally_treat/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/genuine-question-but-how-do-you-personally-treat.1253654 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253654

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