Reddit's system might be one of the reasons you still struggle with seduction.

demonologist4me · 2020-04-14T13:42:55+00:00

This. Also some really good advices dont get attention becasue most men have distorted views on how they should approach dating wich is caused by hollywood movies and unrealistic expectations that they created themselves. So when they see a comment written by someone that is more experienced than them that they dont agree with they downvote it

surfinfan21 · 2020-04-14T14:04:21+00:00

You are certainly right. Reddit also really tends to highlight your own personal biases. In terms of r/seduction I don't come here for the PUA lines and tactics. There isn't some magical phrase or eye contact you can do to seduce a woman. However, it is really about being in a flow state, being your best self, and just putting yourself out there.

So for me, I love hearing about other people's experience and reading field reports. A lot of times people try to extrapolate a scenario that worked for them once and use it as an end all be all. At the same time, somebody else has tried that same move and failed miserably. This is why the upvote down vote thing does get a bit funny.

If you read between the lines and see these posts as someone putting themselves out there, the how becomes less important. You begin to treat this community as more of an intergraded lifestyle. For me, I need that constant reinforcement that seduction is part of my everyday life. My internal dialog reminds me when I'm doing mundane task like running some errands at the grocery store to just be relaxed, enjoy life, and potentially run into some interesting people.

MrMemper · 2020-04-14T14:44:14+00:00

I find that a lot of upvoting on certain posts/responses comes in the form of confirmation bias such that the voter can agree with the bad advice and remain as they are.

Truth is the only obstacle in talking to women is the guy.

Tons of young dudes have shit for self esteem. They are mentally lazy, way too tapped into their emotions (and act on them), remain in an introverted lifestyle where most communication is online (safe) while playing console or pc games. Entertainment is often twitch and xvideos. Many don’t have strong fathers present or have fathers around but are just as clueless about women as the young man.

But they’re still guys who want to get laid. Some are in their 20s and never even been face to face with a pussy.

So when a post comes up where the OP is all up in his feelings about ONE girl and is emotionally attached after a session of texting, and is caking like a bitch, bc she’s not reciprocating enough tons of dudes can relate. Lots of upvotes.

Then when a muthafucka like me steps in with some schooling on how they are the problem I get pushback bc it challenges their weak, conditioned comfort zone. Not as many upvotes.

But I think what I’m doing here in this sub is working bc I’m actually getting far less downvoted and more upvotes.

SmoothPrimal · 2020-04-14T15:00:24+00:00

OP: "Reddit's upvote system gets bullshit posts the most upvotes."

Reddit: Gives OP's post lots of upvotes.

OP: "You mother******"

muuhfi · 2020-04-14T15:31:15+00:00

Yea. I was frustrated with a lot of the advices here. It doesn't feel like I'm genuinely pursuing the girl because I like her. It only feels like trying to hit the jackpot. Only repeating without even feeling the connection with the girl and hoping to 'win' the lottery.

I stopped caring about all these advices and just follow my instincts. That feels more right. I don't have anyone to ask to, just doing what my heart wants and create real connections with the girl. Can't say I haven't benefitted with the advices here though.

Goldenpanda18 · 2020-04-14T16:20:10+00:00

The problems I have with this subreddit is its very divided. Dudes talking about “systems,mindsets,Beta male alpha male, PUA strategy’s”.

I feel it’s all so over complicated, I love reading real stories of dudes who went to a bar and talked with girls and giving what they learned rather than the usual bullshit that has a link to something at the end of the post

relentless_pma · 2020-04-14T15:25:38+00:00

It might be a good idea if there's a weekly thread where everyone posts advice they liked!

tacticalassassin · 2020-04-14T17:26:11+00:00

Reddit is an echo chamber. It’s a place for like minded people to congregate in their own sections and say the things they want to hear, not necessarily what they need to hear.

PepeLePunk · 2020-04-14T14:07:56+00:00

For fun sort by Controversial.

alejandroclark · 2020-04-15T07:26:12+00:00

Yah, bruh. These subreddits are an echo chamber used mainly to get pats on the back of reassurance.

Ever go on r/anxiety or r/depression?

It's 80% posts whining about how people don't feel well but completely closed off to actually making themselves better.

learnie · 2020-04-14T18:40:16+00:00

That's why I upvote downvoted negative comments /s

MassiveFapper · 2020-04-14T15:56:32+00:00

Definitely. Unfortunately when a forum is completely free for anyone to enter. And anyone can vote of which posts are seen, and which aren't. Inevitably you end up with a forum that echoes the opinions of the masses.

In the case of a forum specifically meant for the discussion of "game", or any manner of sexual interaction with women, you can easily end up with a "blind leading the blind" scenario. Because the majority of people looking for the forum are blind. The guys who have game are less likely to look for help.

This is why i'm very quick to recommend books, instead of writing detailed help posts. People will much more readily accept the same information in book form, than they would from a random stranger on the internet. I could say what Mark Manson says in models here in my own words, and would probably get downvoted to hell for it. But most people who read his books love it.

Isa_Yilmaz · 2020-04-14T17:00:39+00:00

Can you link some of the most helpful posts in your opinion?

Sitenine · 2020-04-14T17:56:50+00:00

Reddit in general is built for retarded people. Every sub is an echo chamber and the site just assumes upvotes is enough to determine the quality of a post. And half the people get banned for arbitrary reasons, so you can't just be brutally honest with people.

feejee23 · 2020-04-14T19:25:47+00:00

Is this a feel good or helpful post? 🤔

smoothmax · 2020-04-14T19:31:42+00:00

Good advice, I always sort by New not by Hot.

I sometimes suspect that those sweeping complaints about this reddit that we see regularly ... "all you guys think you just have to manipulate women into sleeping with you" ... are usually by guys who stumbled across the reddit by accident and looked at the top 3 "hot" posts.

There still a lot of crappy posts but it doesn't take long to skim and filter them.

FallUpJV · 2020-04-14T20:08:28+00:00

"Motivational nonsense" thank God I'm not the only one who thinks that's sums up most of the stuff that gets upvoted here

Yamatoman9 · 2020-04-14T20:17:38+00:00

This is a general Reddit problem not exclusive to this sub. Look at the most upvoted answers every time a "dating" question gets asked on r/askreddit. The top answers are always things Redditors want to hear that don't challenge their egos or make them reflect at all.

throwmrwaway · 2020-04-14T21:34:20+00:00

I don't really take most advices from subs like this one, mostly because it seems like everyone approaches dating as if it's a typical rom-com movie, because of what op said

productive_guy123 · 2020-04-14T22:00:13+00:00

I miss the days when I'd get pumped up reading some field reports

TheMailmanic · 2020-04-14T22:09:45+00:00

Hey man do u have any particular posts in mind that didn't get attention but are really good? Share them!

DanJDare · 2020-04-14T23:02:09+00:00

Huh, I've seen the exact same sentiment in a few other subs, this was the last sub I expected to see it.

NeedHelpRedditSE · 2020-04-15T00:33:43+00:00

Can anyone compile a list of unpopular but helpful posts?

ChadThundagaCock · 2020-04-15T02:47:31+00:00

So true. This isn't a popularity contest.

proactive-defense · 2020-04-15T06:24:41+00:00

The metrics for success in seduction are certainly not accounted for in the prioritisation within reddit's system.

Metrics for success would need to be reported by the users of that advice, and it would be hard to isolate that advice from the other factors of the person using it.

So, then, you might find that people with authority in the area can remark, but how do you verify and pick these authorities?

It's a hard problem.

2020-04-15T06:50:30+00:00

I would probably be better if you could mark posts with what type of advice you are giving or what type of seduction you are in to.

For example, the advice you give someone who is just wanting sex with lots of different women or someone who is looking for a long term girl who could be the mother of their child is completely different. There is a bit of overlap with the two mindsets but somoene wanting a long term girlfriend should not be using their energy to spin plates imo.

BurnItDownSR · 2020-04-15T11:38:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Woujo · 2020-04-15T15:32:11+00:00

I agree with this post wholeheartedly.

I have a blog where I post about game and self-improvement: http://www.woujo.com. I have been doing this for over 4 years.

I have learned that my best content gets fewer clicks than my "junk food." By "junk food" I mean content that is meant to make the user feel good rather than actually improve them. My junk food is more superficial and often consists of tips and tricks, rather than a deep analysis that can provide lasting changes. Content that actually helps people is painful to read because it is basically telling you that something you think or feel is wrong and that you need to change yourself.

I have also noticed that junk food gets more upvotes on r/seduction as well. Here are examples of junk food:

- Cheap inspirational quotes or memes that sound good but don't actually teach you anything meaningful.

- Posts congratulating people for doing the bare minimum, even when the bare minimum is wrong. For example, talking to the McDonald's cashier is not impressive, and you should not be hitting on the McDonald's cashier.

- Posts that are making excuses for failure rather than creating a remedy for them. These posts includes one that blame women, chads, society, or apps for people's failure.

- Posts that are looking for a quick shortcut. Shit like hypnotization, routines, etc...

awwhorsefeathers · 2020-04-14T18:13:36+00:00

This is so true. I’m about over trying help fellas out.

A lot of the struggling guys have zero self accountability or are just difficult and bitter people that can run anyone off. They need help the most but wont take any input that wounds the ego, even when it’s the obvious truth. Half of these guys just want to hear “you’re fine, it’s them not you” when it’s clearly a case of “you have some work to do and should accept that you need to change a few things”

JustSkipThatQuestion · 2020-04-14T21:23:30+00:00

just because it gives you a temporary ego boost

Wait, I'm confused. Isn't a temp ego boost the reason why we all joined this sub?

2020-04-15T00:21:44+00:00

well said

Xia0mia0 · 2020-04-15T00:25:56+00:00

I've seen ridiculous "game playing" posts upvoted into oblivion and weird tacky borderline sociopath behavior posts upvoted. But legit helpful normal posts get shit on and down voted because nobody wants to admit or accept that girls aren't a puzzle box and their weird behaviors and control issues are the reason they can't meet, keep, or fuck girls.

2020-04-15T01:07:28+00:00

Just upvote me bro

2020-04-15T14:52:15+00:00

thank you for this post, really important things to consider i think

very_crazy_idiot · 2020-04-15T17:12:18+00:00

Forums in general like these are filled by majority amateur "coaches". What you should really do is read books and blogs of established professionals in self help & self development. This subreddit has its own book recommendations too, many of which answer 90% of the questions people post on here.

What I do now with this sub is, if there's a concept or idea I learn from an expert, I search this forum for further reading and discussions people have had about it.

I've been in the seduction game for over 10 years. I can tell you many of the "feel good" phrases you see are somewhat true. They are just summarized too much to no longer be of help to anyone.

For example - "be yourself". Everyone who hears this thinks they've been themselves their whole lives and it didn't get them anywhere. What they don't realize is they've been brainwashed and pushed around their whole lives by society telling them who they should be and what they should be happy about, when they should have been doing what they truly want regardless of who they offend. Anyone they do offend shouldn't be worth their time.

2020-04-14T16:26:17+00:00

Urine comes from the balls Upvote to prove ops point

ImJustSo · 2020-04-14T17:05:47+00:00

I don't necessarily disagree with a majority of your post, but there are some things I disagree with that I can't ignore.

Because what I noticed is that the most helpful posts don't typically get the most upvotes.

You don't think that perhaps posts which align with your personal beliefs and bias affects this perception you have?

so I recommend not judging posts based on the number of upvotes and maybe sort by "New" instead of the default "Hot posts" and actually take the time to read and understand what kind of impact the advice will have on you in the long term

How do you think that an inexperienced dude is going to be able to tell what is good or bad information?

The posts which are upvoted may very well be good or bad advice.

The posts which are downvoted may very well be good or bad advice.

There's no good way to distinguish between the two, so does it really matter how a particular user chooses to spend their time here? Can you say with confidence that you know what each individual needs, or would you say that only that individual could possibly know?

Wouldn't that point to only one major aspect of your post as being worthwhile to have said, which is:

take the time to read and understand what kind of impact the advice will have on you in the long term

That's the only positively true part of your post. It's the only majorly beneficial message you can share, the rest of it is mostly just personal bias and opinion.

Ironically, it's essentially the opposite of what you would like to see here. You would like to see beneficial posts that are most visible, and free of the poster's personal bias and opinions. Unless their personal bias and opinion aligns with yours, in which case....that'd be how the system is already working, there's just more people out there that "like" different posts than you do.

EternalJourney · 2020-04-14T17:29:19+00:00

Agreed brother.

revente · 2020-04-14T17:34:39+00:00

Yeah seduction and whole gender dynamics have a lot of harsh truths to it and reddit tends to upvote the most meek and wholesome stuff.

Good example is that guys that are forward and sexual have much higher chances of succes but you just phrase it badly and people accuse you of being rapey, while the fact is that in person the girls loved it.

theCmachine · 2020-04-15T02:28:28+00:00

I get what you’re saying, the motivational quotes are cool Bc if you do listen to famous motivational speakers, knowing why these quotes exist, who said them, you remember what was unique about their trying time. What champion had their back against the wall while they said this.

Though with Reddit being a “winner or loser” up down system, you’re 100% they are ra ra posts lol

I like them though, same observation, different tastes, respect.

I think the importance of knowing yourself, having self discipline and self love are more important than anything you’ll learn from any speed dating anything.

Who is your daddy and what does he do - those questions are for learning new languages.

Why do you love or hate Kanye West. That’s a first date question, and since it isn’t just no. I’ll know whether to bring up R Kelly at all.

It’s about identifying passions and avoiding mutual hatred bc misery loves company and cynicism kills revelations.

Get out of here with your sexy selves

notpahimar · 2020-04-15T07:46:44+00:00

This is one of those posts.

ArmitageShanks69 · 2020-04-14T15:06:12+00:00

You are not the judge & jury of what constitutes a helpful post. Just saying.

Mr_82 · 2020-04-15T02:00:55+00:00

Agreed, but hadn't thought about this concept in connection to dating this way. For me, personally, seeing women complain and call all/most/many/etc (they usually don't use a qualifier at all, but leave it open-ended, but imply "all" by the context) men are just human shit rapists who only want sex, are abusive, send dick pics and act like jerks all the time, acting like straight white men are automatically "angry" and the actual devil, etc, is what turned me off from dating.

But yes, this is a major problem with society in general. I often describe it as "emotional inflation due to excessive (often false) virtue-signalling:" for example, if you write a comment or post about gay people, you're expected to kiss their asses and ensure everyone you like gay people first. It's ridiculously stupid and actually dumbs down our conversations, and society's capacity for rational thought in general. And there are absolutely people doing this intentionallly, working through the media often; as you may have guessed, they're of a certain political persuasion.

Title	Reddit's system might be one of the reasons you still struggle with seduction.
Author	BurnItDownSR
Upvotes	755
Comments	99
Date	April 14, 2020 12:50 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/g14xri/reddits_system_might_be_one_of_the_reasons_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/reddits-system-might-be-one-of-the-reasons-you.1428294 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428294

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