A huge chunk of women find it sexy to feel vulnerable in relationships with explains the appeal of bad boys as well as the appeal of large men

Fan_Service_3703 · 2024-03-21T08:51:44+00:00

Every woman I've known who likes "bad boys" has had a dominant, stoic, authoritarian, emotionally-closed-off father.

Because those are the male traits they were exposed to in early childhood/puberty years, those are the male traits they tend to gravitate towards.

DXBrigade · 2024-03-21T09:11:50+00:00

As a woman, I disagree. I cannot feel vulnerable with bad boys because they aren't secure. Women who seek bad boys typically seek excitment or they have a dominance kink.

RubyDiscus · 2024-03-21T12:46:42+00:00

Dominance is hot but not criminals or "bad boys".

They don't have to be a bad boy or criminal to be dominant 🤦‍♀️

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-03-21T14:06:52+00:00

Flirty men are more fun and interesting than men who read as asexual. That doesn’t mean they are bad, also doesn’t mean that meek men are necessarily good.

But it does mean that certain men regard flirting and sexual intended as bad boy behavior, when it’s literally prosocial behavior for typical adults.

emorizoti · 2024-03-21T09:24:50+00:00

Actually no. Bad boys are better at seducing. They chase their target and lovebomb her until she gets the bait. But they also flirt and build up sexual tension. Then the games begin and do whatever they want. People often ignore the first part and love to glorify the other part where women have a soft spot for bad guys.

What the modern nice guys lack is that they never build tension, make sex happen, cross boundaries to chase the girl because those are seen as bad and disrespectful. They think love happens only because of the nice things, personality and being caring.

There are lots of psychological tricks and mind games going on, but bad boys actually are nice, romantic, soft at the early stage. It's not because women are attracted to bad boys by default. A girl can be attracted to many types of guys, but will fall for the one that makes her feel wanted. Bad boys target everyone, but often go for women they see that have internal and parental issues, childhood trauma and other problems.

wouldbepandananny · 2024-03-21T11:35:58+00:00

Actually I would posit the opposite-

It CAN be arousing to allow yourself to be vulnerable in a relationship, but this type of vulnerability can only be found with a partner who you trust with your life. Not a "bad boy" and not a "nice guy™️" -but a GOOD, genuine, earnest man (since we are focusing on straight women).

The way in which women are vulnerable to bad dudes as mentioned in the original post isn't arousing- it's scary.

Soul_vaccine · 2024-03-21T19:13:22+00:00

I find that plausible deniability in flirting is a way “good guys” can exploit this preference. Never say she’s hot but compliment her outfit and then say the dress (with the plunging neckline) “suits her” with a sly smile. Use double entendre and innuendo but never directly say anything about her body or features. Touch her as soon as possible in some harmless way, and proceed to more intimate touches if she plays along.

It may be obvious to some but to me growing up I was like I will not sexualize any girl because I don’t want to make her feel vulnerable or uncomfortable. Little did I know that that feeling is kinda important to building attraction.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-03-21T12:43:35+00:00

This isn't it. It isn't about being 'vulnerable' really.

Liking bad boys, liking to be dominated in bed, and even liking tall guys do share some common causation, but are not entirely driven by the same things.

The 'women like assholes' is especially complex if you deep dive into it.

throwaway164_3 · 2024-03-21T14:48:03+00:00

I mean, you’re pretending this is a choice/thought out

It’s just a manifestation of alpha fucks/beta bucks that has been shaped by evolution and sexual selection

Younger women ligh rough sex, sleeping around with tall, hot, dominant men. And then when their looks begin to fade, they settle for a less attractive but nice guy to raise the kids.

Alpha seed/beta need, r/k selection, cads vs dads call it what you want

I just feel for the poor simp she settles for and isn’t attracted to. What a sad and pathetic life

Direct-Alternative70 · 2024-03-21T10:17:53+00:00

I would agree. Especially when the idea of someone who is “bad” is then being good to you. It makes someone feel special like they’re the chosen one.

Also these bad boys have a very masculine energy that has a charm to it bringing out this feminine energy that most women love. Both in and out of the bedroom. His actions show this with how he treats life

However yes like you said this type is not a marriage or fatherly type. Many realize this too late unfortunately

wolfloveyes · 2024-03-21T10:45:45+00:00

My belief is badboys are traumatized pretty early in life, they are bad boys not because they are strong. They all are weak inside.

They seduce woman, get with her and make her feel desired and loved at least initially but then they learn more about her and figure out she's also just the same kind of woman who traumatized him then the toxic pattern of resentment, disappointment etc... starts

Women get hooked to this roller coaster of feelings.

Both women and badboy are living through their traumas.

Eventually, one of both of them will grow out of it and relationship will end.

nonplussedminus · 2024-03-21T09:31:30+00:00

No, the bad boy simply boosts their ego. "He's a dick to everyone else but nice to ME!" There's also a certain thrill to being with a man who might flip and hurt you, like petting a lion or putting a venomous insect on your face.

wtknight · 2024-03-21T12:20:20+00:00

I think that it’s more the idea that they like to feel protected by large bad boy men, and they like the feeling of power that they have the they can attract and “tame” this kind of man (although often they really haven’t tamed him). I think that everything needs to be looked at from a lens of power.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-03-21T13:46:37+00:00

Isn't the whole argument usually that these men make the women who like them feel protected and safe? That's the opposite of vulnerable.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-03-21T15:10:59+00:00

Do you have even one single credible source for any of the nonsense you’re spouting?

Numerous-Fig-7278 · 2024-03-21T16:27:01+00:00

There is nothing complicated about the reason women get into sh*t relationships. The big myth is men think with their dicks and turn their brains off when it comes to sex. Whereas women are completely rational.

In reality women are just as dumb as men. The moment a guy gets them wet, the brain shutsdown and they will tolerate anything from that guy.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-03-21T08:22:45+00:00

It's not feeling vulnerable. It's the feeling they can let off the wheel and the car isn't going to jump down the cliff.

Confident guys that have answers an that can control situations are sexy.

wolfloveyes · 2024-03-21T09:10:14+00:00

Women need strong man in their life.

When left to their own agency, women make terrible decisions. And they are lost. Many women will not admit it but they can think through their own mind and arrive at a similar conclusion.

I have had success with women since high school. After that I came to reddit, I read these ND women's suggestions and literally overnight I started failing with women all of a sudden. Asking for consent BS, letting girl follow her mind and sleep with other guys BS.

Don't be a cuck, don't be weak. Say exactly what you want, how you want.

First of all, you need to be a guy who is ready to walk away and will never take less than, what he truly wants. If you settle for less than you truly want you'll develop resentment for her and you'll not be able to love her anymore.

I absolutely, unapologetically ask women what exactly I want: https://i.imgur.com/1t0zPjM.jpeg

I lead women and express my preference openly. Women have changed the way they dress, changed their habits to suit me.

If you cannot lead her, you cannot put her mind at ease, you cannot make her desire you. She wants your validation, attention and it makes her feel special, it creates desire in her mind. She wants to please you.

You don't have to be badboy. You need to be a man who is strong enough to say what he wants, and isn't gonna backdown because some guy or girl tells him that's not "politically correct". Fuck the political correctness, I want to be happy and I keep you happy only when I am happy at first.

AutoModerator · 2024-03-21T08:18:53+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-03-21T08:18:53+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

apresonly · 2024-03-21T18:43:47+00:00

there is no such think as love without vulnerability

there is no such thing as authenticity without vulnerability

not sure what kind of relationship would be worth being in where you can't be yourself and aren't loved.

John-Nada_ · 2024-03-21T09:46:50+00:00

Good guys™️ don’t get any, and live in a world of scarcity, they settle for they can get, and don’t go for what they want, so they convince themselves that their fucking skills are special and should be appreciated, but that puts a girl in charge to perform in a certain way. Honestly, girls want to be bad girls too.

TRTGymBro · 2024-03-21T14:13:50+00:00

The sexiest thing a man can tell a woman is "I got this". How many goody two shoes nice guys can confidently utter those words and have women trust them that they can get the job done. It's really as simple as this.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-03-21T14:43:26+00:00

I don't care for the why and you shouldn't have to explain yourself the why either. Just like I shouldn't have to explain why I don't want a promiscuous woman. It's just what people want, and other people need to stop complaining about it.

Safinated · 2024-03-21T15:53:27+00:00

Sure, when you’re in your 20s. Then most of us grow up

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-03-21T09:17:17+00:00

I can’t help but this your projecting this from your mother.
Woman that tend to go for “bad boys” usually have a terrible upbringing combined with mental health issues, pretty much the same as men who go for the “crazy gf” they both like the thrill but can’t cope the realities of they themselves having issues and not having a stable partner to rely on.

Like most people when they finally grow up, they start to recognise the real traits that bring them real happiness, but if you’ve had a difficult upbringing it can take longer than others

Title	A huge chunk of women find it sexy to feel vulnerable in relationships with explains the appeal of bad boys as well as the appeal of large men
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	18
Comments	85
Date	March 21, 2024 8:18 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bk1kbs/a_huge_chunk_of_women_find_it_sexy_to_feel/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-huge-chunk-of-women-find-it-sexy-to-feel.1513135 https://theredarchive.com/post/1513135

Comments