Men being good loyal partners is bad for everyone.

hakunaa-matataa · 2025-05-20T10:19:43+00:00

Wouldn’t the same logic be applied to women, though? I’m lost on why it’s only men that should be discouraged from being monogamous.

AdmirableSignal6225 · 2025-05-20T08:56:49+00:00

First of all, being a billionaire on a deserted island sounds fucking amazing.

Second of all, you are misunderstanding the main point of self improvement and fitness- it’s for yourself. As a middle aged man I do these things because I need to, otherwise my body and mind will fail at a higher rate than they already are.

If people are in a place where they have given up for whatever reason, then yeah, their relationships are going to suffer, but your premise is wrong because health and happiness and stability are all in a feedback loop, and if you are horsing around chasing poon after a certain stage in life you look like a clown, not a stallion.

Slow-Narwhal486 · 2025-05-20T09:16:59+00:00

I’m just gonna assume you’re a man here…do you loathe your own gender? Your entire post assumes that men are overgrown toddlers who are incapable of behaving without some clear extrinsic reward. I’m not a man myself, but I believe there are lots of men who are capable of self improvement because they simply want to be the best version of themselves.

I suppose you got one thing kind of right. Men who require sex as a reward for self improvement really shouldn’t be in long-term relationships.

uglysaladisugly · 2025-05-20T08:46:06+00:00

Sorry but... why do you think it's important to have long term relationships if that's how you see them?

Who wants that?

attendquoi · 2025-05-20T12:22:23+00:00

I don't know who told you otherwise, but you are free to end a relationship at any time and for any reason lol

Cheating, on the other hand, just comes across as cowardice.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-05-20T13:06:10+00:00

Obesity and joint problems due to poor physical health make it hard to enjoy life. Losing your teeth due to poor dental hygiene makes it hard to enjoy food. Being rude and unsocial makes it hard to find new fun things to do.

I'm honestly in shock that men like to belittle themselves so much by describing themselves as being nothing but whores who exist for nothing except getting laid with a new lady every week. Men and women are capable of living rich, fulfilling lives that aren't just about getting laid.

HalfwaydonewithEarth · 2025-05-20T08:59:08+00:00

You might be tangled in dysfunctional relationships but there are plenty of good multi decade ones.

The older you get the more comfort you seek. I bought a massage chair for my husband and rub him every day.

We share a kid. I am losing weight. He is losing his hair. When someone is comfort loving its less about wrinkles and more about that person being apart of you.

Yes it is unfortunate people let themselves go.

There will always be sexy people around that posess qualities your partner doesn't. My husband has OCD and it takes two hours to leave the house. Yes guys that don't do these rituals and routines are attractive to me.

His same obsessions have him tracking everything that makes me happy. He knows all the names of the stuff animals for our daughter. He tracks everything in her life.

I am sorry you didn't find love or only seek physical beauty.

AnxiousPeggingSlut · 2025-05-20T12:48:40+00:00

I’m unsure why you would want to have a partner if you’re not motivated enough to at least keep up with your own health for your own sake without constant new sexual and romantic stimuli.

That reeks of a personal issue.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-20T14:17:48+00:00

Nope, not for women. We just don’t like philandering, especially since you guys don’t like it when we cheat

Superannuated_punk · 2025-05-20T16:17:30+00:00

OP is so thirsty, he can’t imagine a world where a man might have reasons for self improvement beyond getting pussy.

SprayAffectionate321 · 2025-05-20T18:44:36+00:00

I fully agree. I'd take it up a notch and encourage women to cheat as well. Women get fat and frumpy when they feel all the hot young men are off limits and that their only reward is a pot-bellied bald ageing husband. Plus, if the husband knows that the wife might cheat or branch swing, he will be motivated to spend more on her and to keep himself looking hot by going to the gym. /s

Negative-Quantity514 · 2025-05-20T08:47:46+00:00

What in the ChatGPT is going on here?

desblaterations-574 · 2025-05-20T08:42:04+00:00

Or you can enjoy skipping on the need to appeal and actually focus on important things for yourself and your family.

Is being physically attractive to strangers will help your kids get better grades, no. Same for many other points.

The fidelity thing and engagement toward one family, is so you build a cocoon of safe and peaceful space, where you can grow together instead of selfishly thinking that maybe you can do better.

Hot-Impact-5860 · 2025-05-20T08:59:22+00:00

Very interesting viewpoint, I think it's entertainingly insane. I, as a man, honestly don't want this. I want the loyalty and commitment.

Age isn't a big issue, when we both age, even more if the woman is younger.

I don't get fat, and I will bring it up if it bothers me. I'm not a comfort seeking person at all.

leosandlattes · 2025-05-20T13:49:41+00:00

Lmao if my husband wants to cheat, I would actually divorce rape him. I’d ruin his whole life, turn his parents and family against him, make sure everyone knows what a piece of shit he is.

So, he can try it. I doubt he would get very far.

AngeAware · 2025-05-20T11:05:56+00:00

If both partners are okay and in agreement that it's cool for one or both to have sex with other people, that would be called an open relationship, not cheating. It's interesting to me that the word used in posts like this is always cheating instead of "open relationships should be the norm."

Why? Are those dirty liberal no-no words? Not scandalous, sexy, or controversial enough? In any case, open relationships are clearly not for everyone and many would rather be single than tolerate that. So it would be a great way to make the dating scene worse than it already is.

S0yslut · 2025-05-20T14:42:47+00:00

How many times are you going to post the “healthy relationships are fueled by fear” argument?

DashboardPilled · 2025-05-20T15:19:36+00:00

Now you can say that men should keep in shape and top of their game regardless. That's fine but men dont have incentive to do so if their reward is an aging wife. There is no point of being a billionaire in a deserted island.

Marriage was never about maximizing personal satisfaction. The goal wasn't to have a 6-pack and a multi-step Patrick-Batemanesque skincare routine with a Margot Robbie-looking wife, lol. The goal was to find a person that you build something together with. You paired up early when both of you were young and after going through difficulties, hopefully, some level of respect develops that far outweighs the feeling that both of you now are fat/ugly and old. The kids that you have also see how you respect and love each other, and hopefully apply this in their future personal life.

It was more of a duty towards the community and it also facilitated a stable environment so that kids grow and become productive members of society. In a sense, it required sacrifices on both ends.

If you are going to argue that modern secular marriage is pointless, I agree. Modern secular marriage is mostly a personal choice and isn't seen as a duty. As a man, there is literally no point in signing this contract, you should be aiming for high-quality FWB situationships or do "seeking arrangements" if you aren't attractive enough.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-05-20T15:19:50+00:00

Why are you pretending that people don’t have the option to leave without involving cheating? It’s always an option.

BadGoonerTime · 2025-05-20T16:13:18+00:00

You can swap men and women in your argument and it would make just as much sense.

Let's follow this scenario. If your partner has no loyalty there is no reason you would be loyal to them, you don't gain anything but a disadvantage. So now everybody is always looking for an upgrade. There's no point putting anything more than the minimum amount of effort into a relationship because there is nothing to invest in. Partners are disposable, and therefore only valued in how much they can benefit you. Nobody actually cares about their partner. All relationships now have no love, no loyalty, minimum effort, and a purely transactional. You want relationships to be basically the current job market?

OMWSpuds · 2025-05-20T20:58:13+00:00

Men being disloyal to his partner is bad for his partner so...that's kinda all that matters.

coldsleepybitch · 2025-05-20T23:48:45+00:00

I know it sounds cliche but when you love someone, how they look becomes less and less important to you because your attraction to them is about so much more than what’s on the outside. I find my husband very attractive but I didn’t marry him for how young and hot he is. I don’t think anyone should get married if they can’t imagine loving each other just as much through the natural aging process. And this may come as a shock to you, but not everyone finds their spouse less attractive as they age.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-05-20T13:05:20+00:00

This is beyond pure fantasy. How did unveiling the bullshit women do transform into thinking that men's shit doesn't smell, too?

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wtknight · 2025-05-20T11:14:50+00:00

In the successful marriages and relationships that I’ve known of both partners let themselves go equally and stay loyal that way. Intelligent women aren’t stupid. They know that if they have gained 40 pounds then they can no longer expect to attract a man who is more attractive than their man who has also let himself go.

If they think that they can, then the marriage/relationship is doomed from the start no matter how the man behaves because these women will be the constantly branch swinging type who never commit. Men who think that all women are like this shouldn’t be committing to relationships in the first place.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-05-20T16:52:08+00:00

Now you can say that men should keep in shape and top of their game regardless. That's fine but men dont have incentive to do so if their reward is an aging wife. Wife also doesn't have enough motivation to work on herself if she knows that her husband is not going anywhere.
If men are allowed to cheat and replace their wives with better women, then it's better for everyone.
Men will put in the work to remain attractive and wives would put in the work so that husband doesn't jump ship.

Exactly, that's why i am having an open relationship. We are both allowed to have sex with others and we accept that we might find a better partner on the way. It really helps if the wife is also allowed to cheat and the man also puts in work to make the relationship a great experience for both, so the wife doesn't jump ship.

In doing this, you actually create a relationship and a person in yourself and in your partner, that is better than anything that you could find outside the relationship.

Why did you make it about men and not also about women? Same things apply.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-05-21T04:06:45+00:00

Better for everyone? What about children?

sugmanutz13 · 2025-05-21T16:30:33+00:00

I think OP is looking at this from the perspective of an already unhealthy relationship. Men and Women raised to be good, loyal partners would motivate each other to seek improvement and support each other in pursuing their goals. The basis of all of this is respect. To be good you will respect others and to be loyal you will believe in them and expect respect in return. Relationships are also much more complex than attraction and sex.

efficientaficionado · 2025-05-22T01:54:56+00:00

You're laying down some interested ideas, but failing to identify the main point. Men are raised to be soft pushovers, and these men often take what they can get... slave mentality, basically. If you think men being conditioned to be submissive, non-confrontational worker drones in some regards poses a problem, then I agree with you. These mens are the means, not the ends; so it makes sense that they get abused by the most opportunistic women.

oppositegeneva · 2025-05-22T19:20:37+00:00

Well I mean men ARE allowed to cheat and replace their wives with “better” women, they do it all the time.

In western society, you’re not going to be thrown in jail because you cheated on your spouse.

The idea of being a cheater is viewed as disgusting and morally reprehensible because it involves having to be a liar and engage in manipulation , 2 character traits that demonstrate one as being morally inept and unprincipled. If you choose to be that way then fine, but stop fucking crying about others shaming you for being a shitty person.

If the sole reason you choose to improve upon yourself is because of outside forces like being noticed by the opposite sex or even your spouse, you’ve already lost.

The reward for working towards being better is just being better.

tldr; op is ngmi.

NataliaCaptions · 2025-05-20T09:22:01+00:00

This is flawed for a simple reason : Hypergamy.

Women say : "He has to be taller than me" What they (most) do : "He has to be taller than other men"

If every man improved themselves the standard would simply rise. In fact, that's what happen among gen Z. Many go to the gym and work on their charisma but since everyone is doing that women simply select the tallest and hottest ones (who may or may not decide to go to the gym)

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