At a bar, a girl gets tons of approaches, you're 3rd or 4th in line. What's your move?

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2025-09-06T10:04:01+00:00

Stand adjacent, smirk at her. Order my drink look back 60 secs later and if she's closed the gap or her body is pointed at me I say "hello".

Life-Income2986 · 2025-09-06T10:15:08+00:00

Have you guys actually ever gone to a bar? People generally socialise with their friends at bars, and cross-group pollination happens naturally with those in proximity. Men do not stand in a queue waiting to strike out with the prom queen. Go outside.

soulxtrawets · 2025-09-06T10:34:21+00:00

If she has that many men around her and she’s just chilling at the bar she’s gonna either want men not even talking to her, so that means she’s gonna be annoyed by the people in front of you, or she’s there for straight up dick and her prey has already been chosen. So keep walking.

deltatemple · 2025-09-06T13:20:47+00:00

You start a shoot out in the bar but you need to be the last one standing. That's how I'd get her attention.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-09-06T12:32:07+00:00

It's called the validation vacuum, it's making a move before it is even my turn. I stopped doing it a long time ago because it's dark psychology, but it's almost a requirement in bar and club settings.

Approaching in itself is, to a degree; an automatic display of validation.

The girl is getting a lot of that validation, so you basically have to vacuum it out of the air, and redirect it to yourself so she is relieved from the weight of it, and you are the one guy in the place that is taking validation and not giving it.

There are several ways to do this, it's all about positioning. If she is talking to a man make sure you are in his blind spot but you can see the girl's eyes. Then you can subtly wave to her or raise an eyebrow or jokingly blow her a kiss as she is talking to the other guy. The less she seems into the conversation, the more effective the validation vacuum is.

This is highly unethical as you are openly working behind another man's back, but it works exactly because it's a dirtbags move. This shows you are preselected because you appear to have no need to make a better approach than the other guys, because you know how to remove the weight of validation instead of adding to it.

DreamShort3109 · 2025-09-06T10:19:43+00:00

Don’t even bother approaching.

Educational-Cake7350 · 2025-09-06T13:30:58+00:00

I used to just say the most random shit, especially when I was with a buddy or two. I would basically drop them in the middle of an argument, over something dumb, like crunchy or smooth peanut butter, or which way the silverware goes in the dishwasher(utensil up or down). Just anything that I know most dudes weren’t talking about to her/them.

UnkemptGoose339 · 2025-09-07T00:25:50+00:00

Stroll up like I own the place, hands on hips. “Hey, my name’s George. I’m unemployed and I live with my Parents. (Over exaggerated wink) you look like a girl from New York City, mid town Manhattan.”

She’s either rejecting me immediately or laughing and enjoying it.

AlastairXXL · 2025-09-06T10:46:44+00:00

Barge other guys outta the way and say I am a millionaire

2025-09-06T10:14:32+00:00

Well nothing, what do you want to do?

JoiedevivreGRE · 2025-09-06T15:34:40+00:00

Let her catch a breath lol. Poor girl is getting mauled. If there is a good moment later cool, if not no worries

ChromaticSideways · 2025-09-06T19:19:37+00:00

"D-do......

DO YOU LIKE ANIME?"

blush

She turns around.

It's OP's mom

Existing-Big-3039 · 2025-09-07T04:51:13+00:00

To go home.

cookie12685 · 2025-09-06T12:24:33+00:00

Just act as if she's already chosen you

Altruistic-Patient-8 · 2025-09-06T13:32:23+00:00

Im not standing in line; im in my own lane.

ImpossibleWaiting · 2025-09-06T11:48:37+00:00

Ignore her, open another set, merge your set with hers. Keep validation away from her.

New_Banana3858 · 2025-09-06T17:11:03+00:00

my move is that i'm having so much fun with my friends.
that the girl will just come over to my party.

ArshadhAX · 2025-09-06T12:07:06+00:00

Seen better

washington_breadstix · 2025-09-06T14:36:04+00:00

What exactly does "being 3rd or 4th in line" mean in this context? The girl will create opportunities for the men she actually wants to flirt with. When I see a girl who's already getting a ton of attention, I'll make eye contact with her occasionally but acting any more eager would just be cringey.

TuneSoft7119 · 2025-09-06T16:44:22+00:00

go home because I cant compete with tons of other guys. Just not attractive enough

Velora56 · 2025-09-06T17:21:00+00:00

One time I was at a bar with a group of friends, and I saw young lady who captured my eye. I gathered up my courage to go and talk with her. After the initial few moments of small talk I said to her,

"The other night I had a dream about somebody who looked exactly like you. In this dream we were sitting on the porch watching our grandchildren play in the backyard."

I did manage to get a date with her later in the week. Unfortunately in the long run she turned out to be a little bit to the left of psychotic. Oh well.

huggiesdsc · 2025-09-06T18:43:11+00:00

Leave her alone? She just rejected 3 guys, I doubt she was holding out for my best pickup line.

Icy_Green_8888 · 2025-09-06T19:58:10+00:00

I get another drink and move on

ArmitageShanks69 · 2025-09-07T01:35:23+00:00

A pint of bitter please.

Smart_Feature · 2025-09-07T03:01:34+00:00

Do a flip!

Camunba · 2025-09-07T05:44:55+00:00

Show her my platinum card and huge bulge.

ZealousidealRock1283 · 2025-09-07T08:19:24+00:00

Wait a little longer till I’m about 5th and say “damn you must get sick of all these dudes constantly hitting on you. Want me to sit with you and cock block so you can get a break from all the unwanted attention?”

Hot_Limit_1870 · 2025-09-07T08:25:43+00:00

Why are there so few posts about a woman seducing a man on this sub. A girl wants to learn the game too

Ok_Island4769 · 2025-09-07T09:44:36+00:00

Make pussy wet 🤫

Multi_Trillionaire · 2025-09-09T18:19:52+00:00

If I sense she's not into the guys that approached thus far:

Go up to the guy currently talking to her, dap him up and say to the girl with a cheeky smile "Hey, are you trying to hit on my friend over here?"

If she says something like "No, he's the one who came up to me!" Now the other guy just looks tryhard and awkward.

If she's somewhat into the guy or if she thinks I'm trying this just to talk to her, she'll say something like "Yeah, we were actually having a lovely conversation just now."

So I'll reply by turning to the other guy and say something like "You know, she's a keeper this one, she saved my grandma from a car crash last month."

At this point, the spotlight is put on the guy again to respond, and if he's inexperienced, he's just gonna fumble it, and make it awkward.

If he's experienced...well, then I was cooked from the start anyways since the girl would be already into him 😂.

TLDR: I'd pretend to be the shitty wingman for the girl and act like I was setting her up for him whilst making it as awkward as possible for them.

TMGP19 · 2025-09-06T13:46:10+00:00

Who cares how many guys came up, you're looking at this from an outcome orientated perspective.

Your move is, simply hi I am xxxx I thought you were cute/pretty. Ask for her name, then wing it. I'd recommend an insta date for night game if not, many girls are more likely to ghost after a night of drinking.

val_br · 2025-09-06T17:10:51+00:00

Bars (and clubs) don't work as they did in the 1990s or early 2000s.
Now most people go in groups of friends and interact only within that group, or with people from groups they might know.
Cold approach is dead and buried, for a lot of reasons I won't go into.
So you have 2 situations:
1. You know the girl, you wait for the other guys who don't know her to fail, then you go talk to her. Hopefully it works out.
2. You don't know the girl, in which case you'll probably be rejected. Go find a girl you know.
That easy, repeat until something works out.

Affectionate_Delay35 · 2025-09-06T11:25:49+00:00

You go a kiss her (? Hahaha

Sketchy-Turtle · 2025-09-06T10:06:29+00:00

I would walk up and ask her if she's open to being hit on or if its a dance floor if she's open to dancing.

Prestigious_Water336 · 2025-09-06T10:06:55+00:00

Comment about the situation,place or something happening to make her agree with me. Then I introduce myself.

I make some small talk then transition to flirting.

I get closer to her and start lightly touching her.

When there's a gap in the conversation I go for the kiss

Then in a slow sensual tone I ask her "What are you doing after this?"

Then I say "I'd love to show you my house"

Then we both start walking back to my place.

Title	At a bar, a girl gets tons of approaches, you're 3rd or 4th in line. What's your move?
Author	Efficient-Cable-873
Upvotes	69
Comments	83
Date	September 6, 2025 10:01 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1n9vrk9/at_a_bar_a_girl_gets_tons_of_approaches_youre_3rd/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/at-a-bar-a-girl-gets-tons-of-approaches-youre-3rd.1561401 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561401

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