To what extent is the contention that men are falling behind in life accurate?

krackedy · 2025-09-10T20:32:08+00:00

I'd say it's accurate but exaggerated because outrage gets views.

Society is changing, men don't know their place anymore, boys don't know what it means to be a man.

Men and masculine things are demonized but boys don't know what the alternative is.

The gender war bullshit has gone mainstream. Boys and girls don't trust each other and barely seem to like each other.

People are socializing way less and boys already struggle with forming connections compared to girls so they are hit harder by the loneliness.

Women had a whole movement to prepare for a life outside of making babies and cooking for a husband. Men didn't, so they don't know what they are supposed to do in today's society.

Logos1789 · 2025-09-10T22:27:30+00:00

Girls and women’s academic and career success has been prioritized for several decades to the detriment of boys and men’s success.

Women hold a greater majority of college admissions and graduates than men did when it was first considered to be an issue worth fixing, and a college degree is more necessary than ever, which makes that fact even worse for men.

Women need men less than ever, so this male disadvantage in education and the workplace is compounded against them when it comes to socializing and dating.

Superannuated_punk · 2025-09-10T20:57:55+00:00

This is going to devolve into two camps yelling “did you know that 53% of men are less equal than 86% of women!”

As far as I can see, a lot of men aren’t doing well.

We’re in a multi-generational process of realigning gender relations, and we’re hitting a particularly uncomfortable bump right now.

I’m of the opinion that the main driver of this is the wealth consolidation of late capitalism, rather than any real “gender war”.

I feel the “gender war” is more an outgrowth of normal people fighting over scraps.

This suits the ruling classes down to the ground.

TempDong · 2025-09-11T06:29:22+00:00

It is accurate. This is the natural consequence of spending years pushing women into high earning fields and encouraging them to be extremely biased in favor of other women. Women only training programs, women only internships, women only clubs, women only scholarships, women only career fairs - all of these exist across the US (my country). I've had HR (women) try and get me to drop out of the interview process so their female friend could take the job (that they were not at all qualified for).

Kapoue · 2025-09-10T20:51:15+00:00

I feel it's true for lower classes. Rich and middle class men have it much better than rich and middle class women. They are definitely not falling behind.

It's the lower classes that have declining education and wages. It's in the lower classes that the "deaths of despair" are hitting men the hardest.

Underprivileged boys are doing much worse in school than underprivileged girls. Those vous are dropping out at an alarming rate.

N_Count_Council · 2025-09-11T00:29:19+00:00

It's just hoeflation. Every 5/10 woman believes she deserves a 6/10 man, and the trend continues in every area. A 4/10 woman believes she deserves a 5/10 man, 6s want 7s, etc etc

Training-Cook3507 · 2025-09-10T21:22:59+00:00

It's very accurate. Men are doing worse in school and college entrance and graduation rates. And anyone who dates knows what that has devolved into.

Main-Tiger8537 · 2025-09-10T20:52:10+00:00

depends on the point of view and interpretation...

if we are living in a gynocentric patriarchy who falls behind?

if we are living in a plutocracy or anarchy or androcracy or kleptocracy or lobbycracy who falls behind?

aslfingerspell · 2025-09-11T13:37:22+00:00

I grew up in the special needs system before "mainstreaming". I've seen a lot of men and boys and my general take is two main points.

Many extremely flawed men (i.e. literal felons) get girlfriends and wives, but this is a different market.

The college-educated, suburban or urban, white collar, secular, middle class dating scene is what I feel most of "modern dating" is complaining about.

I don't fully understand dating even in my own culture, but I feel safe saying the kind of women who date drug dealers or chronically unemployed men are not the kind of women that the stereotypical "lonely man" is looking for.

The childfree guy who wants to have the fun he wishes he had when he was younger isn't looking for women of any income who wants kids. The agnostic/atheist redditor who likes sleeping in on Sundays could find a woman at church but won't. The professional guy paranoid about his clean record isn't going to join a hard drug subculture (it's own "third space" in a way).

Conversely, a college educated woman's bare minimum is going to be higher than someone who lives in literal poverty. I don't like it when the manosphere mixes up things like "men are needed less because the state takes care of women" with women's standards, since most men don't want to be someone’s ticket out of poverty anyway. Modern dating, to me, is largely middle class people complaining about other middle class people.

Whatever flaws men might have, most aren't reaching the point where they matter.

I think there's a big miscommunication problem: "dating" advice or problems for women look more like "relationship advice" to me, since their problems come in later stages. From the man's perspective this appears in "flaws in men" seeming like shorthand "flaws in men who already get dates".

Again, I don't think this is bad faith, just the brutal fact that the barrier to entry for men feels so high. If a man like me can't even get likes on his profile, they'll never learn I live with my parents.

"Bad profile pictures" doesn't explain same-sex differences or why women get attention. I believe women when they say a lot of men have bad profiles but at the same time any man who switches to "Looking for Men" will get far more attention with the same profile. On almost any personals board, it will be a sea of M4F with 0 replies and F4M with 10+. People pedestalize women as these masters of aesthetic and class but so many attractive women literally take their photos in public bathrooms or even locker rooms.

TL;DR The main variable that determines dating difficulty, at least in the early stages, is whether or not you are trying to date men. I spent over $1,000 getting better photos, a custom bio, hair cut and clothes vetted by family. No noticeable change. Being a straight man means a nonexistent level of default attention; 20% better photos don't matter if it's 1.2 x 0

"Social skills" might be bad on a date, but it doesn't explain how someone gets so little matches or likes to even begin texting or talking.

If a man won't help with housework, that's not going to be an issue until cohabitation. It's not a "Nobody likes me." issue.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-09-11T05:02:31+00:00

Men are clearly struggling by various metrics. But the overall picture is unclear. The elephant in the room is whether men are actually ahead of the curve in some ways, checking out of stuff that is less productive and becoming obsolete.

Also, comparing men to women is not always the greatest metric. Women may be inherently better at some things.

wtknight · 2025-09-11T00:06:48+00:00

Some men are doing just as well or better than women academically. Other men are doing just as well economically even though they're not doing as well academically just because they got into trades jobs that are paying increasingly well. Other men are falling behind.

It really depends upon what category of men that one is referring to. Men as some kind of monolith are not doing worse than women.

StopTheIncels · 2025-09-10T21:18:25+00:00

Social media rage bait for sure.

From personal experience?

Here's what I have experienced professionally/economically at least:

I've said this before but probably because of my social circle/professional circle: I don't know a single woman (well maybe my Aunt who's a lawyer for some rich guy) who makes +200k/year and/or works 80/h+ work weeks. I know more than two handful of men that do. I know plenty of women who make ~85k-110k but are far out-earned and out-worked by their male counterparts. At least in white collar work.

Now a few of my older coworkers with their gen alpha sons seem to have some issues rooted in the "men falling behind", but I think they are shit parents (a lot of divorced/separated mothers). Most of my social circle doesn't have "i need da gurlsa" incel energy, but some have regular dating issues. I don't really see 'women' moving ahead or are 'better' than men.

Side note, when I try to bring up investing (stocks, 401ks, retirement) most women are apathetic at best and ignorant at worst. Every guy I discuss this with is happy to talk numbers.

EducationPatient4622 · 2025-09-10T20:40:51+00:00

Theyre not. Stop giving free unsollicitated attention to women and see the healing happen.

You will see women arent different than men

AutoModerator · 2025-09-10T20:24:36+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

abaxeron · 2025-09-11T17:16:09+00:00

To what extent is the contention that men are falling behind in life accurate?

To this extent. There is no more reliable measure of "falling behind in life" than losing it. Around year 2000, men were "falling behind in life" harder than during WW2 (relative to women; not in absolute numbers). Things somewhat stabilized since then, but not by a huge margin.

ConstipatedAvocado · 2025-09-10T23:03:59+00:00

I think its entirely overstated, the concept of men falling behind seems to rely heavily on the idea that mens lack of college education is somehow the sole determinant of ones life prospects. I think men below 30 are finding it more difficult than ever but this dissipates somewhat after men reach mature adulthood. I also think AI, offshoring (and subsequent reshoring of manufacturing) is going to have profound effects on the labour market and possibly reverse many of the changes we've seen in the last few decades. Outside of healthcare and teaching, many of the female dominated sectors seem ripe for automation.

davebicycle69 · 2025-09-11T16:29:02+00:00

I disagree. I just think women are too high on their own farts and think their shit doesn’t stink. They need to be starved out.

thinkB4WeSpeak · 2025-09-10T20:30:25+00:00

Are they falling behind? 75 percent of state and federal government are men. Men make more salary wise. Women are more likely to be in poverty. 3 times more likely to lose their job to AI. Then birth rights and DEI is being stripped everywhere so that's going to harm promotions and hiring.

Title	To what extent is the contention that men are falling behind in life accurate?
Author	emaxwell14141414
Upvotes	6
Comments	63
Date	September 10, 2025 8:24 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ndp9zf/to_what_extent_is_the_contention_that_men_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/to-what-extent-is-the-contention-that-men-are.1561731 https://theredarchive.com/post/1561731

Comments