If you think that you can have ‘good’ to ‘mind blowing’ sex with strangers; your definition of ‘good to mind blowing’ sex is… Limited. CMV.

James_M_Croft · 2025-09-17T12:54:50+00:00

It is a game of chances.

I forgot who said it but I heard a woman say something like:

"If you give your coochie to every man you meet, you will inevitably find one who does it very well, but the problem is, you will have to give coochie to every man you meet"

And it also means plenty of cases where it is not that fun.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2025-09-17T18:35:25+00:00

Can you have an impactful conversation with someone you met 30 minutes ago? I have. I have had deep, meaningful, vulnerable, even intimate conversations with people who I just met that day. Things that have stuck with me for the rest of my life.

I believe almost all human interactions can be this way, including sex. I don't believe you need X months/years/whatever building familiarity before you can connect with another human in a meaningful way. Not with talking and not with sex.

I agree broadly with your assessment of what good sex is and especially what you're suggesting bad sex is. If sex is just ejaculation or basically masturbating with someone else's body then it is, in my opinion, bad sex. Or it's ok but not too much more exciting than solo masturbation.

I like the words you use to describe good sex: trust, communication, emotional and mental investment, depth, connection. Words like investment, depth, and trust suggest something developed and demonstrated over time but more casual sex can definitely have trust, depth, and those other concepts in some form.

For me, good sex, whether committed or casual, is a rich conversation. There is presence, attention, sensitivity, vulnerability, connectedness, and care. That and just good erotic instincts. The goal is getting into someone's head and discovering their sexuality, as well as being vulnerable enough to allow someone into your head to discover yours. For many (most?) the level of vulnerability required for good sex has a prerequisite of trust built over time. But not all. I have had some extremely vulnerable and human sexual connections with people who I didn't know very well.

I think it's certainly more difficult to make this happen in a casual context. Like I said, many (most?) people can't have the required vulnerability right off the bat. You need two people with this same ability and willingness to be vulnerable, open, present, and sensitive. I would say men are usually more unreserved in the vulnerability sense, but if a woman requires a relationship to be vulnerable (for example) that good sex is not going to happen for either partner until the relationship happens.

So, in that sense, there is no "right" answer. It really does depend on the person. If someone requires a relationship to express their sexuality in a deep, powerful, mind-blowing way that's fine. It's by no means some kind of deficiency. It's just they way they like it. But it certainly doesn't preclude others from having great sex in a more casual context.

That's how I see it. It's an interesting topic.

MongoBobalossus · 2025-09-17T04:55:49+00:00

The best sex I’ve had has been from relationships, sure.

That said, I’ve have plenty of “good” sex from one night stands. I don’t think either are mutually exclusive.

Gravel_Roads · 2025-09-17T09:46:29+00:00

One of my best experiences was with a stranger. I know this because I came really hard. They were into dirty talking, but asked me ahead of time if I was comfortable with it.

The mix of making sure I’d enjoy it crossed with the gleeful foulness of the shit they were saying really got me there.

I don’t understand how this is confusing. People know they can have great sex with a stranger because we’ve had good sex with strangers.

Lemon_gecko · 2025-09-17T05:17:03+00:00

There was couple times when i had better sex with strangers than some in relationships. Sex is sex. You can add caring, connection or whatever and will still be mid. For sex chemistry is more important imo. That being said if there is chemistry and connection and caring and love of course it’s better. But doesn’t change the fact that it could be pretty damn great without.

throwaway73737828 · 2025-09-17T05:42:24+00:00

Nah not really, connection dont mean shit. If you know her for lets say 2 years and you have the best connection ever, and if she justs sucks the tip and stands there while you do all the work it will not be the best sex. On the other hand, if you meet a girl from tinder lets say, and both of you are horny and know good techniques that will be a mind blowing sex.

It really comes down to technique and how both people contributes to each other. Also the mans size is important as well, if you are small, chances are she is not gonna enjoy it that much, it can be a mind blowing sex to you but not to her.

Also this comes from a guys perspective, for women it might be different, they might have a different definition of “mind blowing” sex. They may rather have the most average sex with their bf and consider that mind blowing because of connection or they may consider “mind blowing” sex with a stranger that makes her shake and orgasm constantly in bed. But from a guys perspective, connection really dont mean much.

SeemedGood · 2025-09-17T06:36:33+00:00

…knowing only what’s on another person’s tinder bio or less, reduces sex down to the physical, animal act of ejaculation.

This is not logically sound.

Jetpine9 · 2025-09-17T16:21:58+00:00

The simple minded are favored by God. For some people, just sticking it in = good sex. Their sexual repertoire consists of maybe 2 things, but that's all they need to feel good.

7186997326 · 2025-09-18T04:19:20+00:00

It's not even about all that. Relationship sex is better than sex with strangers because you can go all in without worrying about picking up a STD.

ThatBitchA · 2025-09-17T05:22:38+00:00

I don't think you, or anyone, can tell me what I consider 'good' or 'mind blowing' sex.

I've had mind blowing sex in relationships. I've had mind blowing sex with fuck buddies. I've had mind blowing sex with "strangers".

(Unclear how you're defining strangers.)

Frankly, I think it's strange to tell someone else what they consider 'good' sex.

coiled-serpent · 2025-09-17T07:33:08+00:00

I sort of agree with you, but disagree with the conclusion you've drawn. It's not really about sex, it's about them never experiencing what it's like to have a deep, almost spiritual, connection with another individual.

Hellcat081901 · 2025-09-17T04:58:06+00:00

This is true for most people but not all. For example, taking certain drugs could create mind blowing sex, even with a stranger. This shows that it really just comes down to chemical reactions in the brain. All the things you mentioned tend to increase these feel good chemicals, but some people may release them under different circumstances. Maybe someone gets extremely sexually excited about something new or unknown.

attendquoi · 2025-09-17T13:24:56+00:00

I think you place more emotional meaning into sex than others, including myself, do. For me, sex is just for orgasms. It's not even my favorite way of being intimate or connecting with a partner.

ColbyXXXX · 2025-09-17T14:43:43+00:00

I have great sex with strangers lmao. Sex is like playing a sport. Can I go and play 2 on 2 basketball with another person and have great chemistry? Yes. Will I have good chemistry with a teammate of 5 years? Yes but we also have grievances with each other and areas where we don’t work well.

I have really good sex if I do say so myself. I’m a sex worker and some of these strangers are really good at sex so we have great sex together. Sorta like the all star game in the NBA. Steph never plays with LeBron during the season but they look great out there together.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-09-17T15:44:50+00:00

Not all people suck in bed. Not even hot people

And if you keep your expectations low, your mind can more easily be blown

SexCrispies · 2025-09-17T18:17:17+00:00

"Complete stranger" as in dark room anonymous sex, or "complete stranger" as in having been on a date with a guy and ending up in bed?

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-09-17T20:31:06+00:00

I guess this follows, especially based on self reported data from women. But also, it’s worth considering that if a woman is in a relationship she really has no incentive to be honest if that relationship isn’t the most sexually fulfilling. So who knows if it’s accurate.

anotsmallthing · 2025-09-17T22:49:16+00:00

OP is literally braindamaged

It happens, it’s always happened, whatever Ti-powered fantasy you’re living in doesn’t change it

Source: it came to me in my dreams. And random sex

ZennedGame · 2025-09-17T05:42:04+00:00

The answer is objectively yes.

You're trying too hard to quantify something with such high variety - and a high variety species. I see what you're getting at but there are too many cases on both sides to really make a solid argument.

Logos1789 · 2025-09-17T04:54:50+00:00

Yes, all else being equal, partners who have enough experience with one another will create better experiences.

However, you can absolutely tell whether or not someone has that potential after the first time or two…like if the guy whips out a pencil, that’s just never going to be capable of creating the same sensations as a more ideal size.

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autistic_cool_kid · 2025-09-17T06:21:01+00:00

I've had sex with a lot of strangers and also with the same person for over 10 years

The big three variables are Compatibility + how good they are at sex / how sexual they are + how comfortable you are with them

Usually comfort with someone increases with intimacy but you can also increase comfort with strangers via other ways (drink alcohol with them for example, or learn to be comfortable with strangers)

How good they are at sex / how sexual they are correlates in most cases with body count, so that's why high N count is good

And compatibility there is nothing that can be done about it except be selective who you spend time with.

kmb218 · 2025-09-17T08:04:02+00:00

My question; if one can have perfectly good to mind blowing sex with a complete or near stranger, can that sex be ‘good to mind blowing’? If so; how?

I’ve had very good sex with “strangers” (someone I didn’t know that long, I would say that a stranger becomes a non-stranger pretty quickly though so maybe clarify what you mean by that). It was pleasurable, hot and fun, which is what made it good. But I do think relationship sex is better on average (mainly because sex gets better over time).

The primary argument I see is that knowing only what’s on another person’s tinder bio or less, reduces sex down to the physical, animal act of ejaculation.

Why would the fact that you don’t know the person make sex about one random possible subpart of sex - ejaculation? Maybe for a man, but even then?

That’s it. Chemistry. Skill. Attraction. Lust. All of those base, animal facets of sex are prioritised, thus limiting the parameters by which ‘good to mind blowing’ sex can be gauged. Names aren’t required, just a body.

Those are enough for good sex.

Conversely, for me the definition of good to mind blowing sex extends beyond just the physical. It requires Trust. Communication. Emotional and mental investment. Depth. Connection.

For you, not for everyone else. Of course these things matter and make sex better, but for me, some of them are not strictly required for good sex (emotional investment), while others can happen with strangers (communication, some degree of connection).

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-09-17T13:02:09+00:00

The problem here is that “mind blowing” can mean a bunch of things to a bunch of different people.

The fact is yes: you can have great sex with a stranger. And yes: you can even have mediocre or even bad sex (is it ever really that bad tho) with a stranger. The odds are it’s most likely going to be the middle one over the other two, but any one of them can be the experience.

And so can sex in a relationship Sometimes it can be great. Sometimes not so much. Sometimes it can start out one way and end up another. Sometimes people can get into ruts and sometimes people can be just in tune with each other and be having the best sex they have had in a while over and over again.

It’s like having a meal. Sometimes you try a new restaurant that is amazing. That doesn’t mean you favorite meal at your favorite place (even if that’s a home cooked thanksgiving dinner) isn’t the best you ever had. People can just like delicious foods

And people can just enjoy sex.

aslfingerspell · 2025-09-17T13:08:17+00:00

Sexual novelty and validation can amazing in itself. Some people don't need sexual attraction to or from a specific person. It can be about themselves ("someone wants to have sex with me and that is sexy") or about the act itself ("Doesn't matter, had sex.")

This can go double for desperate, insecure, or inexperienced people. Any experience, even if objectively bad or mediocre, can be mindblowing for the first time with no reference point on anything better.

"Arousal nonconcordance" is also a thing; people can even orgasm as a rape victim, so by default any consensual activity is orders of magnitude better. If people can be aroused by traumatic experiences, then indifference or "empty" but consenting hookups can also do it for some.

I was literally sexually assaulted, and part of the trauma is how my rapist is the only person in my entire life to be unambiguously turned on by me and my body. It's how the greatest act of sexual validation I have ever received was also a violent crime.

My mind was blown, if also in the way surviving a murder attempt is mind blowing. The passion was there but the consent wasn't.

A lot of times I think "They would have been the best sex partner if only they weren't a rapist."

GrandpaDallas · 2025-09-17T14:06:40+00:00

My question; if one can have perfectly good to mind blowing sex with a complete or near stranger, can that sex be ‘good to mind blowing’? If so; how?

Yup. Sometimes the chemistry just clicks in that way with a stranger.

Don't get me wrong, a lot of my best sex comes with someone I know well, but I've also had very good to mind blowing sex with strangers just because the moods clicked just right. Sure, we may not have the depth, but the chemistry and fun can still make it a very enjoyable experience.

Worldly_Dance_7147 · 2025-09-17T14:33:07+00:00

if someone is satisfied with good to mind blowing sex at that purely superficial, physical layer they are limiting not only their worldviews, but their experiences.

I'm not seeing any argument for this being true? What is your case?

No-Buy7459 · 2025-09-17T17:33:18+00:00

sex in the honemoon phase of a relationship > random stranger sex > sex in non honey moon phase of a relationship

TheRedPillRipper · 2025-09-17T21:43:21+00:00

Things that have stuck with me for the rest of my life.

This is a great point. What was the impact for the other person involved? Rest of their day? Week? The rest of their lives?

How would you know, unless you were directly contributing further to theirs, and they to yours?

Which is the key difference. Between and casual conversation between strangers, and having a deep and impactful conversation with your spouse. The dynamic shift is a shared experience.

Or is this take unreasonable?

LawfulnessSuper5091 · 2025-09-17T05:29:27+00:00

Probably correct... but balanced against the excitement that comes with being with someone for the first time, and at the other end, the familiarity that reduces the excitement somewhat.

" If so; how?" like many things discussed here, this isn't really a point of rational argument. If someone enjoys it better, they enjoy it better. Not everything can be broken down to logic.

Training_Designer_41 · 2025-09-17T06:39:50+00:00

The covariance of mind blowing sex and relationship type is close to zero

Title	If you think that you can have ‘good’ to ‘mind blowing’ sex with strangers; your definition of ‘good to mind blowing’ sex is… Limited. CMV.
Author	TheRedPillRipper
Upvotes	10
Comments	86
Date	September 17, 2025 4:52 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1nj40bl/if_you_think_that_you_can_have_good_to_mind/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-you-think-that-you-can-have-good-to-mind.1562161 https://theredarchive.com/post/1562161

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