Difference between a "nice guy" and a "good guy" is based on how attractive he is.

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-10-15T07:45:51+00:00

This post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #5: The topic is too broad, has been covered a lot already, or involves the assumption overly limited by race, age, physical limitations/appearance, and/or other inborn external qualities.

Put in some reading & work before asking questions that have been addressed, like: * How do I approach? * How do I get a number? * How do I talk to girls at college? * How/When do I kiss a girl? * Does this really work?

As for the last one, it is an answered question. There have been many posts on physical limitations over the years, including this one. No need to re-ask it.

ThroatFinal5732 · 2025-10-14T12:36:35+00:00

The difference between a “nice” guy and a genuinely good guy is the nice guy feels entitled to a woman’s reciprocation… as if he’s owed love.

However, no one is morally obliged to love anyone back (romantically at least). Nice guys need to understand that no one owes them affection just because they behave “good”.

Would you feel morally obliged to have sex with a morbidly obese woman just because she was nice to you? Exactly.

That said… I want to say something in defense of “nice” guys… I feel society has been completely one-sided in blaming men for this problem. Reality is many women (not all, many) lead men on because they like the attention, and then gaslight them into thinking they’re “entitled” for expecting reciprocation, when they shouldn’t have led them on to begin with.

Sandvicheater · 2025-10-14T19:09:39+00:00

Good guy, bad guy doesn't matter the man with the looks always get the ladies.

I know a dude who gotten laid plenty of times with the pick up line "nice shoes, wanna fuck?" just because he's 6'5" with a face of a Calvin Klein model.

Hister333 · 2025-10-14T12:17:08+00:00

Close, but no. The difference between flirting and harassment is the level of attractiveness. Nice guys tell you what you want to hear, and good guys treat you well. Many serial killers are "nice."

autodidacticasaurus · 2025-10-14T13:07:40+00:00

No, this is incel ideology. This doesn't belong in this sub.

There's a whole book on this called "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover for anyone actually interested in this subject.

Zotoaster · 2025-10-14T12:20:23+00:00

A guy's behaviour absolutely determines if he's a "nice guy" or not. There's nothing less hot than a guy acting needy and spineless, even if he's physically attractive.

-XtCode- · 2025-10-14T13:03:17+00:00

This subreddit is starting to incelify. No. The nice guy is not necessarily a good guy. He just does things because he sees benefit in being nice. Theres whole books about it.

Robofrogg1 · 2025-10-14T12:47:55+00:00

This is false

Beach_Cucked · 2025-10-15T06:17:06+00:00

Plain and simple, women don’t tend to want to date insufferable incels who don’t like women.

platypusferocious · 2025-10-14T14:18:27+00:00

Not really, attitude is actually the main difference.

It took me years to realize the girl I was madly in love with liked me back, but I had this misconception that women wanted to be respected and that taking action would be some form of harassment, when she was practically begging me to just take her, but no, I was raised to believe men are abusers and women need protection and care.

Of course this is not always the case and men should not harass women, but it's not just looks, sometimes it's just your lack of action.

faroukomer · 2025-10-14T13:37:44+00:00

This has nothing to do with attractiveness. You can be a model but if you stand for nothing and just try to say the right things that please a woman then she will lose respect for you hard and will get bored of you quickly. This doesn't just apply to women but regular life. Have no spine, get walked all over

DopeAFjknotreally · 2025-10-14T13:02:48+00:00

No, it’s based on your intent.

If you’re being “nice” because you want something from them (ie: sex, approval, validation, admiration), you’re not actually being nice. You’re being manipulative.

A good, kind man has a strength to him. He does things that are nice because he wants to. Because his reality is that he will make the world a better place and will output good. He doesn’t expect anything in return and doesn’t care if he’s thanked or appreciated for his good deeds

I-LoyLoy · 2025-10-14T22:16:18+00:00

This one of the "let's generalise all women and men post.

A "nice" guy/girl (yes, there are nice girls), is someone who is doing for a attention or reward. A genuine good person, does it because they want to and get told they are a good person.

This whole post feels like back in the early days of 4chan.

ApexVirtuoso · 2025-10-14T20:41:19+00:00

The answer you’re looking for is authenticity.

“Nice guys” lie a lot, especially to themselves

JackSquirts · 2025-10-14T22:05:29+00:00

This is the dumbest thing I've read on Reddit today.

Potomaters · 2025-10-14T15:13:03+00:00

“Nice guys” is a label used to describe guys who think they are nice, but in reality they feel entitled to a woman’s love just because they did something nice for that said woman. Or in other words, they aren’t truly “nice” because there are ulterior motives behind their “nice” actions. And additionally, they often have very little self awareness about this behavior.

What you are describing is the phenomenon of woman treating men’s advances differently depending on their level of attractiveness. You are conflating the term “nice guy” with this topic. These are two completely different things.

CrvCrx27 · 2025-10-14T19:22:33+00:00

This sub has been infiltrated by incels.

knowone1313 · 2025-10-14T15:48:10+00:00

Nope. Though a "nice guy" is probably developed through a lot of life rejection, which could be linked to his attractiveness.

darkhorn · 2025-10-14T17:36:07+00:00

You mean like this one? https://youtu.be/PxuUkYiaUc8

garnageman · 2025-10-15T02:57:53+00:00

not at all. nice guys are needy and bend to anyones whims wothout standing up for themselves because they think its the nice thing to do. good guys understand that they have to stand up for themselves and their needs and wants too and their honest about it and harbor no bitter feelings if people dont feel the same way

TuxedoPinata · 2025-10-15T05:27:15+00:00

Yes and no, I have seen some really good looking guys be completely ignored due to very low intelligence or social skills. On the other hand, yes, the most good looking guys who did not have those problems had insane success.

But non good looking guys didn’t come off as creeps necessarily. Their results ranged from pretty decent to none, again based on their social skills. But one had to be actually creepy to be labeled as such.

Poor looks plus a lack of charisma just makes you invisible if anything.

Midasisgolden · 2025-10-15T07:24:14+00:00

Question:

Who are Nice Guys™️ generally nice to?

Hint: you see it in a lot of movie tropes and it’s not the nerdy girl with the glasses…

Another Question:

Why are Nice Guys™️ only nice to certain kinds of women?

I’m just saying, half the time, Nice Guys are setting themselves up for failure, and then blaming ALL WOMEN like there aren’t women they treat like they don’t exist, or like shit out straight.

THAT’S the difference between a good guy and a “nice guy”. A good guy’s kindness isn’t transactional in nature; you’d see them being kind to almost everybody and clearly expecting nothing but their improved wellbeing. Who wouldn’t want to be around that?? At least you’d know that if this guy chooses you as a romantic partner, that you wouldn’t have to worry about growing old or getting less attractive in anyway because he will always treat you right.

“Nice guys” (ugh) just REEK of entitlement. If youse had a bit more self esteem, youse would not be nice

Medium-Music8318 · 2025-10-15T07:33:50+00:00

Bro it’s all your confidence I swear to it .. just go around tomorrow and act confident around woman and see how they react they love that shit

miami2881 · 2025-10-14T13:28:12+00:00

Nice guys are people pleasers. Good guys have a moral code they follow regardless of how it makes other people feel or react.

LubaUnderfoot · 2025-10-14T15:24:45+00:00

This is coded language that says, "I blame women for not liking me"

VGClementine · 2025-10-14T17:47:55+00:00

Woman do not care so much about looks the way a lot of you think they do

WebNew9978 · 2025-10-14T17:09:34+00:00

Yep. It goes back to the two steps:

1: Be attractive

2: Don’t be attractive

DeathMetalBunnies · 2025-10-15T01:56:55+00:00

"Nice" is code for "you're boring."

nerority · 2025-10-14T13:19:06+00:00

100% wrong. It's about maintaining frame. Which is energy dynamics.

Alarmed_Box1198 · 2025-10-14T14:35:46+00:00

The difference between the dreaded nice guy and a good guy is simply ulterior motives.

Royal-Rope-1480 · 2025-10-14T15:33:04+00:00

THIS.

StopElectingWealthy · 2025-10-14T18:22:51+00:00

Absolutely wrong. Stop whining

Disastrous_Affect742 · 2025-10-14T12:40:47+00:00

I would say the difference between a nice man and a kind man is limits and boundaries

A man need limits

Cypher-V21 · 2025-10-14T13:30:24+00:00

No.

A nice guy has no choice, it’s a survival tactic.

A good guy chooses to be nice but can and does choose not to be when needed.

Secure-Outcome8687 · 2025-10-14T20:47:53+00:00

A 'nice guy' in the negative sense does nice things largely to win people over and hence, get something to return (reciprocation, approval etc). He can be either too nice or not have any boundaries.

A nice guy in the healthy sense does nice things primarily because it makes him feel good. Wanting people's praise or approval is either a secondary reason or doesn't matter at all. And if you violate his boundaries, he'll speak up - not yell, swear or anything, but calmly and sternly put the foot down.

Basically, healthy men aren't too dependant on what others think of them. We're social creatures and decorum is important so you should care what others think at least a little bit. But if you're counting on others to make you feel good you probably have a mental health problem.

Healthy men are nice but 'nice guys' aren't healthy.

Jon_Boopin · 2025-10-14T21:55:35+00:00

People in denial about this just dont want to accept that it limits them lmao

Although Nice Guy™️s are still a thing and have poorly adapted behaviors, ultimately what determines initial attraction is looks. And if you cant get your foot in the door, there is almost no chance in hell. You don't necessarily need to be hot enough so that a woman will say yes immediately (even though that fucking happens!!!). You need to be hot enough so that a woman says "Hmmm, if his personality is charming enough then I migjt consider him attractive". It is a baseline threshold.

If you do not meet her baseline threshold, you will never ever win over a woman. The problem lies with the fact that womens baseline thresholds are way too high on average and men try too little to meet a higher baseline. So good luck fellow uglies.

tabooforme · 2025-10-14T16:45:35+00:00

Just like the difference between a dirty old man vs a cute hunk is 25 years

Title	Difference between a "nice guy" and a "good guy" is based on how attractive he is.
Author	No-Compote-2127
Upvotes	190
Comments	98
Date	October 14, 2025 12:07 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1o6dpac/difference_between_a_nice_guy_and_a_good_guy_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/difference-between-a-nice-guy-and-a-good-guy-is.1564076 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564076

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