Men are not more upfront than women be for real

Training-Cook3507 · 2025-12-14T00:20:02+00:00

What??

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-12-13T20:56:28+00:00

Men are more upfront than women with other men, because that's how men communicate.

Men are not more upfront with women, because women are not men.

Women are far less upfront with other women, than they are with men, particularly when it comes to men that they date. Some of the things women will say to men to hurt them dwarf anything a man would say to a woman he is in a relationship with. However, women will have fake "frenemies" that they hate for decades but continue to keep up appearances with to each other's faces.

Every man would prefer that women (and men) be upfront with him, but women almost never prefer that a man (or woman) be direct with them.

In regards to the examples you gave, men often do initially enter relationships or dating under the assumption that both parties will be open or honest in their intentions. It's only after sufficient experience with women that they realize this is not the case, and attempt to accommodate accordingly.

The examples you gave assume that the man or woman being "upfront" has ulterior motives to begin with. In which case, yes, men or women who seek to manipulate you, will not be upfront about their intentions with you. The reason men want direct communication is that they are generally okay with not being able to manipulate women, as most men don't default to that behavior in their normal communication.

Outrageous-Dog452 · 2025-12-13T23:33:08+00:00

I think some men are not being honest with themselves about what they are physically and sexually attracted to versus how they want a woman to behave. They want a woman who looks like Megan Fox but is at the same time low-maintenance, easy going, and emotionally stable. I’m just going to copy and paste a quote from Gone Girl here, because I feel like it sums up quite succinctly what I am trying to say.

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.””

mashedturnip · 2025-12-13T20:23:44+00:00

Men are generally upfront that a relationship is nice but sex is the priority

The problem is that they refuse to accept the results of that truth

Jetpine9 · 2025-12-13T22:59:09+00:00

I think this falls apart because I've been perfectly happy with my "looksmatch" in the past. This generally seems to be the guys' compaint; they think they're happy and willing to date their looksmatches while women read much more into looks.

Now, I concede that you have a point if you are saying guys would do what girls do if they had the opportunity. If tons of attractive women were paying attention to a somewhat average (or a little above) guy, after a while he would also think he should exclusively be dating starlets. Probably. We'll never really know for sure.

Impressive_moosenuck · 2025-12-14T04:35:31+00:00

you're confusing men with perfect robots, it just means men are more likely to be upfront

Emotional_Meal748 · 2025-12-14T00:20:43+00:00

Caricatures work because they contain some truth. We should both be aware of and accept these truths about ourselves and our dark sides. The problem is women don’t want to confront their dark side and they wanna live in this pretend life where they are heroes and don’t have a dark side. I’m not talking about talking about these truths in the context of a relationship. I’m referring to the discourse here that wants to ignore these truths even as a caricature.

AfternoonTop5134 · 2025-12-13T21:29:24+00:00

Objectively false. Men are absolutely more upfront about being attracted to looks and wanting sex and prioritizing it. Women are the ones lying about personality just to keep oofy doofies calm and peaceful.. Just another anti man post written by a woman who hates sub 5 men.

N_Count_Council · 2025-12-13T21:18:04+00:00

I absolutely say that I've had my fun with the slutty girls and now I want a nice wholesome girl to bring home to mom. Do you mean I should say that TO the girl's I'm dating? lol

TrumpFucksKidz · 2025-12-13T23:11:54+00:00

Which of the two genders is expected to initiate dating?

Thought so.

onetimeuseaccc · 2025-12-13T21:12:16+00:00

It's true, but of course just like for women there are a few exceptions.

asb3s7 · 2025-12-13T20:31:00+00:00

A lot of you will pick the hottest girl available to you in any given scenario and put up with more crap from a hot woman

Except men don’t lie about this, that’s the difference. Men will openly say they’ll put up with a certain amount of downsides if a woman is hot enough or if the sex is good enough. Women (since your gender has this need to seem altruistic at all times) will blatantly lie (or maybe you’re just delusional enough to actually think it’s true) and say looks don’t matter, nothing matters unless a man is nice. And will deny putting up with downsides if a man is hot. But credit where it’s due, a few women admit to it on this forum. But just a few though.

So if you’re not walking up to your looksmatch and saying…

I think women are extremely emotional and less logical than men. Would I ever say this directly to a woman who I’m in any kind of relationship with? Hell no. Why would I say something that would ruin my relationship. Use your brain please. There are two different realms. Online with strangers and in person with friends/partners. There’s no incentive for me to ruin a relationship for no reason.

Cue the cope of “oh no we will love our placeholder looksmatch the exact way we would love our celebrity dream girls”

Again no man says they don’t want a 10/10. All men want the best option they can get. The reason it’s more brought up with women is because your gender is the one who lies about it saying nothing but personality matters. Men don’t. Thats the entire argument, that women lie.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-12-14T02:08:00+00:00

Well in general men tend to be. I think men can sort of get a pass for dating who they can anyway, since men have the harder job in dating. So of course they shouldn't lay out their thoughts like that, but even from the mans side it makes sense even if it doesnt sound the best. Seeing as most men have to actually prove themselves, and have to be willing to make the first move to get anything.

So it makes sense that they will get what they can, if its hard enough as is. When they look to do better it makes sense since they did the work to get better results. Women on the other hand don't have to worry to much with that, since they just get offers on their level or above without much issue, especially if they are into casual like you listed.

So if she took what was already easily given then some men could look down on that, if she just abused it. So it not only sounds bad on the womans side it looks bad, seeing as opportunities are handed to basically any women in a way that most men dont get. Now of course if she feels like it, then she can sleep around, but some will judge for sure.

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sweetie4eva · 2025-12-14T21:45:58+00:00

[permanently deleted]

NullAnvoyd · 2025-12-16T02:59:39+00:00

Let's be real. Ya'll need to go touch the grass before gender war horseshit compromises your entire personalities.

SomeGift9250 · 2025-12-20T03:14:59+00:00

Who hurt you

Icy-Gene7565 · 2025-12-13T20:23:56+00:00

Who hurt you?

Youngrazzy · 2025-12-14T04:03:06+00:00

What you are saying is wrong most men are picking as many women that will accept them. Men at the top fuck fat and ugly women

theminxisback · 2025-12-13T20:49:11+00:00

They pick the hottest girl because she is the most challenging to conquer.

codgas · 2025-12-14T16:44:46+00:00

What a self report lmao. This just goes to show how much you dont understand men.

The majority of men will dedicate themselves and give their whole life to anyone who shows them a crumb of attention or kindness.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2025-12-14T08:28:19+00:00

What I don't understand about these guys is that they also seem to be down on the idea about dating single mothers. Because these seem to me to be excellent for having honest placeholder, that's to say outspokenly temporal, relationships with.

Because, do these men even want to be first choice/first priority of someone they don't even consider their top pick? Do they even want full life integration with someone like that?

I've been hit on by single moms several times, and it's so obvious to me what it'd be about in case I would've went for it. They are pretty blunt actually. It would've been lot's of texting but only meeting once a week at maximum. Provide her with fun and comfort that one day, but afterwards, she wants you to leave. She doesn't have more time for you.

And no, she in fact doesn't want you to move in. She's been there, done that, doesn't want a do-over.

So if you want to have an ethical placeholder relationship, have it with someone who doesn't have time for actual committed relationships and it makes all the sense in the world.

Title	Men are not more upfront than women be for real
Author	sweetie4eva
Upvotes	24
Comments	191
Date	December 13, 2025 6:39 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1plslai/men_are_not_more_upfront_than_women_be_for_real/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-are-not-more-upfront-than-women-be-for-real.1568763 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568763

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