Kissing and making out on date is rookie move

norwegiandoggo · 2026-03-10T18:13:44+00:00

I used to have this same opinion. But I've changed my mind and I'm a bit more flexible now.

It all depends imo. There are ways to reduce pressure for the next date so she doesn't feel like sex is 100% expected. There are also plenty of ways to keep the sexual tension.

I agree with you that these are issues to be aware of (loss of tension or too much pressure). But I also know that if you are aware of these - you can navigate around those icebergs and sail the Titanic into the harbor at a later time.

Back2theCouture · 2026-03-10T18:20:28+00:00

Pulling away is actually the fun part. I usually say things like “we shouldn’t be doing this” or “I’m not ready for this.” She doesn’t know I just switch the role, now you’re the one chasing and wanting more.

So either a light makeout or push it thru sex. A heavy makeout only gives you blue balls.

random_question4123 · 2026-03-10T18:23:30+00:00

I’ll say the chances of a second date declines for me if I don’t make out. But I’ll also chalk that down to not escalating throughout the date.

justarandomuser10 · 2026-03-10T18:02:53+00:00

Fair, this subreddit needs more original posts like this one.

Dandys3107 · 2026-03-10T18:40:40+00:00

True that, leave her with some hunger for more, with some mystery about what is really going on between you. She should expect something to happen on a next date, but not certain what you are really up to. It should be more like a fun game or seduction dance, not some rigid plan to go through point A to Z to win.

Infamous_Anonyman · 2026-03-10T19:03:34+00:00

Disagree with this take...

Almost all my dates that i kissed either ended with closing the same day or in the upcoming days.

I guess my take would be to do as YOU want and how your vibe is.

I go for what i want and/or make her crazy to come get more.. while including good vibes (playful banter, serious conversation, getting to know her)

Broad-Cranberry-9050 · 2026-03-10T18:21:09+00:00

I agree.

Nothing wrong with a kiss, but heavy makeout sessions are basically giving the girl all you got. To get a 2nd date or have that go further you have to leave room for curiousity. Have her thinking "wow he gave me 50% and it was good, i want that other 50%". But giving her all you got and not getting anything out of it she might be like "he's good, but i think he clearly wants something very sexual and i want something more serious or not jump into it".

Give her a couple good kisses and leave it at that, leave her wanting more.

throwaway-research1 · 2026-03-10T18:48:27+00:00

Its really not that deep dude

Virtual_Ad_4817 · 2026-03-10T19:28:11+00:00

This is retarded advice, making out is fine just it has to go somewhere. You're focusing on the wrong thing.

What's more important than analyzing how heavily to make out with her is making sure you can get her to a private place to fuck with plausible deniability and making sure the "slut" pressure is taken off of her.

This part is totally factually incorrect and just OP mentally masturbating:

Making out like a teenager on a date is a rookie move. It shows you would totally have sex with her if given the opportunity and that kills the tension you’re no longer a challenge

Sometimes I have heavy makeouts on dates, sometimes it doesn't happen until I get her back to my place alone.

Either way, the makeouts have no effect on whether she'll sleep with me when I get her alone. Zero correlation.

You still have to make her comfortable about going back with you. You still have to tell her you have no sexual expectations. But there's not some wild crazy navigation to it, that's literally the move right there. Invite her back to your place for something that is not sex, like watching a show or meeting your dog, and then say "Don't worry I have no sexual expectations."

Then you just escalate as you normally would when you get back to your place.

Remarkable_Outside67 · 2026-03-10T19:58:18+00:00

I disagree with the point about women not “accepting a second or third date.” As men, we usually think in a more progressive or linear way — something like (kissing, touching, making out, sex). But with women it doesn’t work the same way. They tend to be more cyclical, which means there are a lot of factors that can make them cancel a second date. There isn’t really a strict rule like “touching is something only teenagers do” or anything like that.

Where I do see a big mistake is in the timing. The guy has a great first date, and then just a few days later he’s already pushing for the second one. Obviously women notice that.

So far this year I’ve gone out with around 20 different women, and every single one of them acted differently after the date. The key thing here is not trying to analyze it purely from a logical point of view.

HumblePsychonaut · 2026-03-11T00:21:01+00:00

Years ago I hung out with a "hard to get" girl for the first time. I kissed her, and we started making out. After a minute she stops and says, "I don't want to do anything sexual on our first date." To which I respond, "That's fine, but can we make out a bit more?" No exaggerating, she pulled my thang out within ten minutes. Seems she changed her mind. 😂 Just a funny story.

WhusssuName4547 · 2026-03-10T19:19:38+00:00

Idk man, it all depends on who you are as a person, and how women perceive you. Every time I didn’t make out, women felt as if I wasn’t attracted to them or whatever. And when I did make out, I got lucky for the most part. Mind you, I’m not big on kissing in general, let alone on a first link. It was a running joke in my friend group, that I had lost my vCard before I had gotten my first kiss lmao. It wasn’t necessarily true, but it was funny as shit tho.

Heavy_Consequence441 · 2026-03-10T20:39:05+00:00

This logic reads like cope for not kissing on a first date

Zorturan · 2026-03-11T03:04:29+00:00

Ngl I give up, rocket surgery would be less complicated.

"Escalate as much as possible, oh but not too much, definitely don't make out unless you're having sex, even if you both want it because she'll want you more"

Like wtf you can't be serious, what next don't cum? Oh wait, actually maybe not being hard would be better, makes her feel like she has to "work for it" smfh g fucking g

Matter_Still · 2026-03-10T19:41:11+00:00

It’s far worse than just being “a rookie move”; it trivializes the importance of a kiss, particularly, the celebrated “first kiss”.

That often momentous event is a way to “tease” your personality; It is, hands down, the most important part of a first intimate encounter we have with a potential sex partner. Almost 80 % of women say the first kiss tells them all they need to know about a guy and it determines how long they will hang in with a guy.

What does it say about the guy who goes right for the tonsils after some clever or not-so-clever banter?

More than likely, not much that is flattering. But the kiss that is fantasized about, awaited, and delayed?

That’s the one that starts a fire instead of igniting a spark.

Of course, if your mission is to get laid with any woman who will spread her legs after a few Margaritas, that’s not much of a consideration, is it?

Certain_Process_7657 · 2026-03-10T19:02:04+00:00

Interesting take. Definitely should at least go for the kiss by the end of the first date (if it's going well of course) though or else she'll think you're not attracted to her, vice versa.

RadiantTechnology622 · 2026-03-10T20:40:53+00:00

I’ve never ever had a heavy make out session where I didn’t have sex right after

Vivid_Discussion2562 · 2026-03-10T22:15:53+00:00

I completely disagree with this one I’ve banged plenty of girls who I made out with on the first date.

justmots · 2026-03-10T22:58:48+00:00

You don't need to make out, but she will make out with me instead.

1slycoyote · 2026-03-10T18:18:33+00:00

So sex is required for dates,..? No not a rookie move. Doing what she want is normal..

comacove · 2026-03-10T18:22:35+00:00

ugh, unfortunately, can be true. game is the game. made this mistake a few weeks ago. I mean, there was probably more to it than just this, as so many factors figure into things, but this post can be a very very true example.

jackthehat6 · 2026-03-10T18:29:48+00:00

to be honest, a huge percentage of the time i've been making out with a girl, we had sex that same night. Admittedely i'm not talking about 'dates' (just night game cold approach) but making out certainly never done me any harm

SylAbys · 2026-03-10T19:27:48+00:00

On my first date I don't like to make out. I like to almost like light tung with tease. I want her to be eager and want more.

TMGP19 · 2026-03-10T19:51:13+00:00

You typically want to save the kissing/sex for a second or third date, preferably second. If you do it on the first date you better guarantee it's going to go through to home base but I don't advise it because a lot times it leads to buyers remorse. I always advise a second date strategy where the first date is primarily to break the ice and Kino escalate.

BvFHassy · 2026-03-10T20:28:34+00:00

Tbh this is not a lie

mun_a · 2026-03-10T23:16:36+00:00

That's new

MrTerno · 2026-03-10T23:21:19+00:00

100% brother. Making out should be reserved for the sex location. If you won’t fuck her that night then you shouldn’t be making out like crazy but instead you should tease her and make her want more of you.

Vox_Dissidens · 2026-03-11T00:59:02+00:00

If that’s what works for you man, all the power to you - but respectfully, I disagree.

Make out heavy, don’t make out at all, have sex, don’t have sex - none of these are large deciding factors in whether she’ll want to keep seeing you. The issue with rules like these is that they assume women are assessing men consciously - like she’s tallying up your seduction points and calculating your worth.

Don’t double-text.
Don’t give too many compliments.
Don’t kiss/fuck on the first date.
Don’t say or do X, Y or Z.

If she was assessing you consciously, sure, you could apply a strategy, follow the rules and tick all the boxes.

But because women assess you mostly unconsciously, it’s not these actions, but all the subtext and emotional nuance surrounding them that actually matter. That’s why some dudes can break all the rules and still have heaps of success.

You were right to mention “tension” and “challenge” - but off in the application of the words. She doesn’t feel tension because you ARE a challenge logically, she feels tension when you challenge her from moment to moment.

For example, let’s say she makes a move and you playfully reject her. It’s the moment you created that affects her - not the implication that you wouldn’t “totally have sex with her if given the opportunity”. It’s the drama, the excitement, the friction, the intrigue - it’s the spike of emotions you’ve put in the air.

That means that when the moment is over, the tension is gone. Whether you are an abundant, masculine dude or a desperate loser doesn’t stay. That’s why a lot of dudes get ghosted after getting physical - because they think they’ve passed some sort of test and stop trying to seduce the girl.

That’s a hard lesson for many - learning that tension is created in moments, not built as a lasting state.

This is a good thing ultimately. It means you can create tension without actually holding back physically at all. Most girls I’ve dated knew from the beginning that I was happy to sleep with them right away, but I built tension through banter, teasing, masculine leading, etc.

So rather than thinking “should I make out with her on the first date?”, think instead “how will making out with her right now affect our connection?”

And to your point about rookies - it’s even MORE important for less experienced guys to start building the right skillsets early on. The ability to pick up on emotional subtext and situational nuance is fundamental and can only truly be learned by letting go of the rulebook.

Live_Towel1801 · 2026-03-11T02:29:02+00:00

yeah i get what your saying ruins the genuiness that your trying to build up

Sandvicheater · 2026-03-11T04:04:46+00:00

What's the pro 1st date move? Eating her pussy like you're at a all you can eat buffet?

Sad-Condition6340 · 2026-03-11T07:45:15+00:00

There is a friend f(22) she have more relationships like 3-4. And i am a virgin But i kinda like her she comes with me and goes for eat or traveling. So, is there someone who can just help me out.

Sorry-Place6291 · 2026-03-11T09:34:46+00:00

It’s how you make out with her, of course they’re all different, they all have different tempos with this type of stuff. Some girls you can go for the kill shot and you guys are going nuts while making out, some girls you make out with them then start shrugging them off when they are resistant.

As humans everyone has unique turn ons and some aren’t as desperate as others. Don’t be desperate for sex, I say this from experience 😂. Take the experience for the ride and dont worry about closing until it’s closing time. There is a thin curvy line to stand on and some girls don’t let you fall off once. Some will let you be retarded.

It’s kind of like sports, you gotta see what the competition looks like, are they good or not. Putting up a facade or not. Know your opponent, so when you’re out and she likes you, sit back and delay gratification for just a bit and use it in your favor.

Advanced girls will test you by flirting heavy with you and they see how you take it. If they can put you under a spell with simple things you already validated them.

Some_Definition9851 · 2026-03-11T09:48:53+00:00

strategizing this stuff is cringe and unnatural. Just let life take it's natural path, go with the flow.

Pickledsundae · 2026-03-11T14:19:14+00:00

Sorry if someone already brought it up, but one need not forget to hammer home strong rapport building; if she's still only in attraction and/or comfort stages when you make out, id say she's more likely to flake second date because of the aforesaid sexual pressure.

If you build a strong rapport and emotional connection (love test routine, deep questions into her passions/family, being vulnerable yourself and getting her to be through disclosure, etc.) then the making out can strengthen the emotional connection instead of simply sending fukboi short term signals and shiiiiiiit.

Title	Kissing and making out on date is rookie move
Author	Whole_Caramel_7279
Upvotes	272
Comments	66
Date	March 10, 2026 5:57 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rq45bm/kissing_and_making_out_on_date_is_rookie_move/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/kissing-and-making-out-on-date-is-rookie-move.1575181 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575181

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