The dieing off Clubs and Bars, makes dating even worse for the average Man. It killed a playing Field where you could do good by just putting in the work. In general "Approaching" in any form has lost its value, which leads us to a more "winner takes all" Market.

gtbreddit1 · 2026-03-28T02:02:19+00:00

As an accelerationist I disagree. Men shouldn't have to be dancing monkeys for crumbs of pussy. Instagram, Tinder etc work fine if women are actually attracted to you. If they don't work for you, that means women aren't actually attracted to you. I'd much rather men collectively confront that reality, no matter how painful it is.

holmesksp1 · 2026-03-29T00:04:54+00:00

Meeting long term partners at a bar, was a phenomena of the 80s-90s, and even then, hot take, the level of success of that is largely over emphasized by movies and media. Before that was not really how people met, and after it also is not...

ThatBitchA · 2026-03-28T02:03:18+00:00

Clubs and bars aren't dying....

Cold approaching has always been useless. It's really weird to see this revisionist history about cold approaching

Technology isn't the problem. The over reliance on technology and literature for life experiences is the problem.

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rsi6969 · 2026-03-28T02:37:38+00:00

It’s ‘dying’ please don’t torpedo your entire argument about analyzing technicalities like an NBA coach when I venture to say no NBA coach would spell dying wrong.

the-kay-o-matic · 2026-03-28T04:47:20+00:00

I see a few problems with your analysis.

The Problem i see is, if we eliminate reallife Funnels completely many Men will be destined to have huge Problems dating wise.

There's not an elimination of real life funnels happening. Other funnels still exist however they are structured differently than a bar/club and notably women are not intoxicated. There are in fact many environments, groups, and settings specifically designed for people to meet one another - But the problem is that you have to show up and meet her as a person not just potential pussy for you to get.

So the menu you're describing here aren't struggling because there's an elimination of markets. They're struggling because they are relying on tactics and techniques that only work to secure sexual access from women in a club/bar. Those tactics will not work elsewhere and they will not help him actually date with the intention of having a relationship.

This is what we already see now, many OGs can confirm you that "approaching" got a lot harder in the last 10+ Years, because other Markets are "taking marketcapitialisation".

Yes, approaching has gotten harder but that is not simply due to a reduction of value in the other markets. Part of the reason it's harder to approach women today is because women are much less tolerant of cold approaching. Tinder launched shortly after I graduated from college so I was in the dating scene when it was mostly cold approaching and warm approaching. There are fewer men who are able to just go out and pick up a woman - but simultaneously there has been a massive drastic reduction in imaginary boyfriends "who had work tonight."

Most of the pushback around being approached in public had to do with the way that men handled rejection. Far too many men would interpret the word "no" to mean try harder. In my area of Chicago there were pawn shops that had something called a "beacon ring." Which was a short-term rental of an engagement ring if you were going out and didn't want to get approached.

So part of the reason why it is harder today is because there was a lot of pushback in the early Tinder era around pressuring women into sexual situations. That's why most first dates are "low-key coffee meets." It's because there was big pushback on multiple fronts against the intense pressure to get a yes out of a woman.

Tying both of these aspects together: there's a reduction of these cold approach markets in part, because many women felt unsafe and uncomfortable in these environments. There are funnels that exist but those environments place constraints on men's behavior. So when you talk about how the reduction of these markets will make dating harder for men, what you're really coming back around to is the fact that women are simply removing ourselves from certain situations. So to that end, if you want to save the market, you have to change the behavior that is driving women away.

Axis_Control · 2026-03-28T11:36:05+00:00

It's good that bars and clubs are dying it promoted binge drinking and was unsafe. Women got drinks spiked and drugged and raped.

Adapt and approach women in appropriate ways.

Thatshygurl · 2026-03-28T15:42:40+00:00

Where do things like classes and clubs(not night clubs) or things of that nature. Where you can meet new people, during the day, not drunk, actually form decent connections lol. Personally I’d like us to invest more of our time in these places, build up not only skills and hobbies, but make friends and potentially meet a partner to date. Tbh tho these places feel hard to find, unless I’m just clueless on finding them.

EugeneCezanne · 2026-03-28T17:04:52+00:00

I'm trying to wrap my mind around the idea that nightlife is dying. What does that mean to any individual's experience?

Like, I can see the effect on the market: there are fewer successful bars. But so what? There are currently 700+ bars in my mid-sized city, but in 7 years, I've been to like 15. And I go out A LOT. The bars I go to are fairly popular. If 50% of the bars in the city closed tomorrow, I wouldn't even notice. At most, I would only notice that the popular ones became more popular, as they would absorb some of the remaining clientele of the others. The effect on my dating life would be negligible, or possibly even beneficial, as it would increase the population density in thriving bars areas.

So, what are we talking about here?

many OGs can confirm you that "approaching" got a lot harder in the last 10+ Years

That's hard to fathom. The same OG's have, presumably, gotten better over the same 10 years. Wouldn't that make them perceive it as easier? Maybe the problem is that "spamming" doesn't build skill—so as spamming gets harder, men perceive approaching as harder?

I think it's gotten easier. But I also never spam.

CHINO-HILL · 2026-03-28T18:11:29+00:00

were men really ever just dating random females they met in clubs and bars (even in the 90s)?

KayRay1994 · 2026-03-28T03:09:43+00:00

Actually… I’d argue it makes dating better. I’d say the two places where looks tend to matter far more than elsewhere is online dating and nightlife.

Your mistake is assuming that nightlife and online dating are your only two options when in reality these are simply the only two avenues that could result in something instant - a dating app is immediate and impersonal and nightlife has immediate intentions and approaches are quick.

Slowly get to know people, be open to making a lot of friends first, let connections develop and just see where things go. Classes, hobby groups, cafes, parks and so on are all becoming more popular

To put it bluntly, you’re not mad about ‘dating being worse’, you’re mad about putting in effort what’s past the superficial and not getting immediate results

coochie4sale · 2026-03-28T03:43:40+00:00

Most men don’t meet their partner at the club or bar though. Never has been that way. It’s usually through school/work/friends/church

Expensive_Lion1807 · 2026-03-28T02:11:35+00:00

And amazingly (not really 🙄), no mention of women at all. Not once. Women are the interchangeable, anonymous, prize for gaming the “market”…

And you guys wonder why women aren’t interested 🤦‍♀️.

morepwer · 2026-03-28T01:59:21+00:00

No guy should give a fuck. You wanna fuck? Go see a prostitute. Easy as hell. You guys could get what you want right now.

Be butthurt forever that you arent women's preference? Smooth brained. Stack your cash, live your life, fuck to your heart's content? Brain has so many wrinkles that it could be mistaken for my scrotum.

Are people gonna judge you? Yes. Are people stupid fucking monkeys? Also yes(you guys are unfathomably stupid).

💰➡️🧎‍♀️ = 🍑

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-03-28T06:48:12+00:00

Hate drinking and clubs, so dating apps were basically a godsend to me. Much less pressure than trying to swat away sweaty/angry guys, with more options to choose from. I feel that guys who had to get girlfriends from bars were very much below average, which was why they had to ask girls who were drunk with impaired decision making. It was pathetic.

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